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Sorry to be be the one to tell you this but quote:Climate Change Is Forcing Polar Bears to Rewrite Their DNA If there was one positive to climate change, it was the extinction of polar bears. These murder machines terrorize the arctic, killing everything I their path. They can and do kill whales and everything smaller. Luckily for us, they have been confined to the arctic ice. That is, for now. Per this thinly-sourced article, polar bears are not just going to survive global warming, they’re coming down on land to murder us all. Hug your kids
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Dec 15, 2025 16:48
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Evolution is for pussies real apex predators edit their DNA on the fly
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Dec 15, 2025 16:50
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Will this impact the snack deliveries In the US? Otherwise don't care
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Dec 15, 2025 16:52
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This probably has as much credibility as those social media posts a month ago about how raccoons are becoming domesticated (they are not). Evolution is an extremely slow process, maybe polar bears will evolve to live in warmer climates than they do now, but it's not a process humans are going to notice anytime soon.
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Dec 15, 2025 16:53
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WAR CRIME GIGOLO posted:Will this impact the snack deliveries In the US? Otherwise don't care In a way, yes. If you’re in northern states, you may be reclassified as a polar bear snack during winter months
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Dec 15, 2025 16:54
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Dec 15, 2025 16:55
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Polar bears should stop loafing around and get real jobs.
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Dec 15, 2025 16:59
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I for one welcome our new polar bear overlords. (Please don't eat me)
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Dec 15, 2025 17:01
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for more.
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pol;ar bears are staunch allies in the defense of christmas aaginst the imperial forces of goonery. this is a welcome development.
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Dec 15, 2025 17:08
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luv2shit posted:pol;ar bears are staunch allies in the defense of christmas aaginst the imperial forces of goonery. this is a welcome development. Santa isn’t real. Your parents bought those presents and put them under the tree. Sorry you had to find out this way.
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Dec 15, 2025 17:12
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Dec 15, 2025 17:14
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wtf when did these bears learn genetic engineering? getting too smart for their own good imo
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Dec 15, 2025 17:21
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i think the daily beast would know a thing or two about beasts
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Dec 15, 2025 17:32
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Pretty soon the bears are going to take over the city of Chicago  Heaven help us if they develop a taste for deep dish and malort
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Dec 15, 2025 17:53
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They're already cross-breeding with other bear species
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Dec 15, 2025 18:13
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i thought polar bears lived on delicious refreshing coca-cola
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Dec 15, 2025 18:29
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signalnoise posted:i thought polar bears lived on delicious refreshing coca-cola That's bipolar bears when they're manic.
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Dec 15, 2025 18:35
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I'm on team polar bear, I hope they eat us all.
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Dec 15, 2025 19:07
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It’s all the Coca Cola they drink up there.
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Dec 15, 2025 19:07
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big nipples big life posted:I'm on team polar bear, I hope they eat us all.
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Dec 15, 2025 19:08
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Lets give them covid
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Dec 15, 2025 19:19
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numberoneposter posted:theres like 1000 polar bears and like 10 billion humans they better get busy I have faith in them. Go Bears!
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Dec 15, 2025 19:19
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They are going to flatten out like manta rays and live in the sea. Good for them but not really my problem.
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Dec 15, 2025 19:24
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I used to live somewhere that had brown bears with some polar bear DNA. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ABC_Islands_bear
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Dec 15, 2025 19:25
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Animal-Mother posted:I used to live somewhere that had brown bears with some polar bear DNA. Those are some cute bears
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Dec 15, 2025 19:35
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Larry Cum Free posted:They are going to flatten out like manta rays and live in the sea. Good for them but not really my problem. Nature likes turning things into crabs. Large carcinized polar bears will inherit the earth
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Dec 15, 2025 19:38
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There is never any good news wrt polar bears
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Dec 15, 2025 19:41
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I like Polar Bears because when you think about it, they have just the most bizarre ecological role of any mammal.
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Dec 15, 2025 19:44
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nimby posted:That's bipolar bears when they're manic. its a decent ochre song
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Dec 15, 2025 20:07
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big nipples big life posted:I have faith in them. Go Bears! if a polar bear eats me i swear i'll kick off
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Dec 15, 2025 20:20
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What does a bear need a pole for
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Dec 15, 2025 21:20
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fishing, dancing, not touching things if the pole is 10 ft, etc
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Dec 15, 2025 21:23
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lol imagine how scary a polar bear with giant wings would be, or like a polar bear with crab pinchers
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Dec 15, 2025 22:31
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I atchually got genetically retaxonomized as polar bear rekently (v big, white, only eat blumber, almays pushin on ice etc) so to me its kinda lld newg
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Dec 15, 2025 22:46
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any pole is a goal
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Dec 15, 2025 22:49
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How many poles could a polar bear bear if polar bears could bear poles
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Dec 15, 2025 22:55
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they could turn themselves into butterflies if they wanted to. caterpillars do.
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Dec 15, 2025 23:26
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if the arctic starts to melt we can just relocate them to the antarctic
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Dec 16, 2025 00:05
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I think we should give bears a chance to run things. We had our turn and we did poorly.
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Dec 16, 2025 00:07
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LaserPrinter69 posted:lol imagine how scary a polar bear with giant wings would be, or like a polar bear with crab pinchers or like a lady polar bear
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Dec 16, 2025 00:13
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