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Even though everybody advised him otherwise, my grandpa used his lottery winnings to turn himself into some kind of terrible half-man-half-serpent monstrosity. He then went around, robbing liquor stores until a fearsome shootout with police ended up with him getting murdered by the police(?) It kind of makes me wonder what sort of man he would have been if he had been killed in Korea.
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Sep 9, 2014 08:44
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| # ? May 4, 2024 09:58 |
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Cream-of-Plenty posted:Corea.
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Sep 9, 2014 08:52
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My Grandpa didn't kill ten thousand Koreans to spell "Korea" with a Chinese "C"
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Sep 9, 2014 08:54
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Cream-of-Plenty posted:My Grandpa didn't kill ten thousand Koreans to spell "Korea" with a Chinese "C" It pissed of the dear leader though, knowing the Big c is a k now.
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Sep 9, 2014 08:56
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My grandpa was a fisherman in Norway. Deeply, deeply religious with a pretty strict moral stance in one of the darker corners of Norwegian Lutheranism (but none of his four children went down that path, just became normal productive members of society). Active in local politics (was even Mayor or Chairman or whatever you'd call it of the local government in the rural municipality where he lived, back in the 1960s; was a major proponent of building roads and bridges, as he saw that in the future everyone would use cars more often than boats). Doted on his grandchildren (of which he had a bunch, I was among the younger ones). Good solid man. However, no matter how moral and priggish he was, he was also a practical man, with his own idiosyncratic ideas of what was or was not proper. When he was home from the sea, for example, he never bothered to use a towel after bathing (waste of laundry), instead just lounging around naked in the kitchen to dry off. If the neighbour lady happened by and was shocked to see a naked man? Her problem, it was his house and inside his own house he would be as God made him. He was a very strict teetotaler, except if he had a cold he would use cognac as medicine (and only the good stuff). Not sinful if taken with a spoon. He installed electric wiring in the old house all by himself despite having no qualifications (regulations weren't as strict back then; anyway the house still hasn't burned down) and never bothered to disconnect the power while doing work; whenever his fingers were shocked, that just meant things were working properly. Of course eventually he got a brain tumour (which he survived but not entirely without damage) and then he got Alzheimer's and then he died; I mostly remember him as a sick old man. Which kind of sucks.
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Sep 9, 2014 09:06
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My grandfather was a polymer chemist working at Colgate-Palmolive. I don't remember much of him, except him being an early adopter of the Internet and computer technology in general, and writing science stuff right until the end. "The end", in this extreme stretch of the term, was a lengthy decline via Alzheimer's, one that culminated with him unable to speak or move, living with a wife that refused to be in the same room with him, let alone see to his feeding and diaper changes. If I had a genie with an open-minded interpretation of wish limits, one of them would be to summon him for the grave for one day just so I could jabber about all the really cool ways our understanding of the universe has changed since his death. Moral of the story: even the best and brightest wind up decrepit and soaked in their own bodily fluids at the end of their lives? Or... or their only other choice is to perish early through suicide or accident? What is my life.
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Sep 9, 2014 09:23
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Hogge Wild posted:lol drat Just normal lady-names, I remember as a child being very confused that he called my mother, my grandmother and the lady down by the shop all 'jenny', and then the next time it was 'debbie' or whatever. His hobby was wood carving, but he was basically useless at it, he used to just cut stuff into blocks, round off the corners then give them to us every christmas as 'building blocks', but they were totally just slightly differently sized slices from a plank that had been sanded a lot.
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Sep 9, 2014 09:29
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cynic posted:Just normal lady-names, I remember as a child being very confused that he called my mother, my grandmother and the lady down by the shop all 'jenny', and then the next time it was 'debbie' or whatever. His hobby was wood carving, but he was basically useless at it, he used to just cut stuff into blocks, round off the corners then give them to us every christmas as 'building blocks', but they were totally just slightly differently sized slices from a plank that had been sanded a lot. he was giving you steaks to help with the vampires
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Sep 9, 2014 09:33
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My grand parents were as poor as you could possibly be living in the province in the Philippines. He fed his family by diving into the sea and spearing fish. One day when he was sick with a fever he went to fish and drowned. They found his bloated water logged corpse washed up on shore three days later.
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Sep 9, 2014 09:35
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Umbilical Lotus posted:My grandfather was a polymer chemist working at Colgate-Palmolive. I don't remember much of him, except him being an early adopter of the Internet and computer technology in general, and writing science stuff right until the end. "The end", in this extreme stretch of the term, was a lengthy decline via Alzheimer's, one that culminated with him unable to speak or move, living with a wife that refused to be in the same room with him, let alone see to his feeding and diaper changes. If I had a genie with an open-minded interpretation of wish limits, one of them would be to summon him for the grave for one day just so I could jabber about all the really cool ways our understanding of the universe has changed since his death. if i ever get any alzheimer symptoms i will just shoot myself
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Sep 9, 2014 09:37
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Umbilical Lotus posted:My grandfather was a polymer chemist working at Colgate-Palmolive. I don't remember much of him, except him being an early adopter of the Internet and computer technology in general, and writing science stuff right until the end. "The end", in this extreme stretch of the term, was a lengthy decline via Alzheimer's, one that culminated with him unable to speak or move, living with a wife that refused to be in the same room with him, let alone see to his feeding and diaper changes. If I had a genie with an open-minded interpretation of wish limits, one of them would be to summon him for the grave for one day just so I could jabber about all the really cool ways our understanding of the universe has changed since his death. if i ever get any alzheimer symptoms i will just shoot myself
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Sep 9, 2014 09:38
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Hogge Wild posted:if i ever get any alzheimer symptoms i will just shoot myself same, if i ever found out i got cancer id good into the bad part of town and buy a unregistered hang gun. Find a place in the woods, where I won't be found and eat a bullet.
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Sep 9, 2014 09:40
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ded posted:he was giving you steaks to help with the vampires Do vampires dislike being bludgeoned with smallish, lightweight, smooth-edged blocks of cheap oak?
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Sep 9, 2014 09:45
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Hogge Wild posted:if i ever get any alzheimer symptoms i will just shoot myself Hogge Wild posted:if i ever get any alzheimer symptoms i will just shoot myself did you forget you already typed that once? i guess its time to say good bye fellow goon
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Sep 9, 2014 09:53
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My grandpa was a shithead of legendary proportions. He was basically Les Stroud combined with an 11 kid family and a rage addiction. He was really good at outdoors activities, killing rattlesnakes with claw hammers, duel wielding .22s against basement rats, and abusing/neglecting his kids/wife. He died a few years back and I didn't care at all. AMA.
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Sep 9, 2014 09:54
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Hogge Wild posted:if i ever get any alzheimer symptoms i will just shoot myself Alzheimer is indeed the worst loving piece of poo poo. Edit: If diagnosed early on, I've thought I might take up some form of high-risk sport. And gradually increase the risk over time. Eventually the rising risk would coincide with my diminishing capability and I'd go out in a natural way while doing something I enjoyed. Bonus points for not endangering anyone else in the process, perhaps. Groke fucked around with this message at 11:42 on Sep 9, 2014 |
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Sep 9, 2014 11:38
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thanks for the good stories and lols guys, im over it now
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Sep 9, 2014 20:54
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My grand dad was having routine surgery and died. Rip grand dad. Grand dad was not actually his name but something we called him.
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Sep 9, 2014 20:55
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Groke posted:Alzheimer is indeed the worst loving piece of poo poo. I like this plan but it counts on you being able to remember it enough to properly execute. I don't really have any interesting stories but both my grandfathers were very nice men.
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Sep 9, 2014 23:31
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therattle posted:I like this plan but it counts on you being able to remember it enough to properly execute. It does kind of depend on an early diagnosis, yeah.
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Sep 10, 2014 05:05
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my grandfather strategized the destruction of lovely countries. and the other would scalpel and stitch your rear end up in a heart beat.
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Sep 10, 2014 05:08
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Swedish Butt-Whistle posted:my grandfather strategized the destruction of lovely countries. my grandpa would beat up your grandpa
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Sep 10, 2014 05:19
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Prokhor Zakharov posted:my grandpa would beat up your grandpa my grandpa probably hosed your grandma
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Sep 10, 2014 05:21
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I heard this stuff from other family as my grandpa does not talk about it but he was in the Korean war working demolitions with his best friend Richard, one day when they were sweeping for mines when one of them tripped a mine, something about it was delay blast and Richard through himself on top of my grandpa to shield him from the blast and died. This was during winter in the snow with his best friends dead body on top of him. He was not found for quite some time and presumed dead. My grandmother actually received a letter or something saying he was killed in action. He made his way back but in the process contracted bad frost bite on his feet. A lot of this is fuzzy because as I said, he doesn't talk about it. Anyways, he survived and his first son is now named Richard. He went on to support a huge family and is a retired sheriff now. Pretty awesome dude.
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Sep 10, 2014 05:24
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My grandpa told me a story years ago about when he was a boy playing baseball on the field near his house when a storm was approaching. He said that what appeared to be ball lighting floated over the game at a leasurely pace, went through some power lines, and then dissipated. Not as exciting as ww2 gramps, but still pretty neat.
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Sep 10, 2014 05:24
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| # ? May 4, 2024 09:58 |
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my grandpa is originally from marry-your-sister colorado and he was like "gently caress that" and joined the army to get out. they stationed him at some base in california and then kind of lost track of him around when world war ii started, so while most of the fit soldiers were getting deployed, he was chillaxin' because some clerk hosed up. he ended up being basically the chauffeur for the general on base, who was like "hey you're a cool dude, do you wanna get stationed in hawaii? i hear that poo poo is pretty great" so he got transferred there. my other grandpa is a third-generation japanese american who was put in the korean regiment because they couldn't figure out what race he was, he's deaf on the right side because he was an artilleryman and like most people in their early twenties was like "gently caress yo' ear protection i'm invincible, bitch"
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Sep 10, 2014 05:25
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