how come chimpanzeesare so strong

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shizen: Dec 29, 2006

Say Nothing posted:

Yeah, gorillas have that thick brow ridge protecting their eyes.
No way could someone punch this hard enough to do any damage.

Gorillas are timid creatures with tiny balls not nearly as scary as a chimp or baboon

# ? Dec 21, 2014 07:33

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 06:01

Pharmaskittle: Dec 17, 2007; arf arf put the money in the fuckin bag

I'm not generally afraid of anything smaller than me even if I rightly should be, but I'm loving terrified of chimps and the idea that anyone would willingly be in the same room as one boggles my mind.

# ? Dec 21, 2014 07:52

MegaGatts: Dec 12, 2004; The Enteroctopus dofleini, also known as the giant Pacific octopus (GPO) or North Pacific giant octopus, is a large marine cephalopod belonging to the phylum Mollusca and is tripping balls.

shizen posted:

Gorillas are timid creatures with tiny balls not nearly as scary as a chimp or baboon

No way. Sure they're more gentle and less apt to attack but there are accounts of a human being killing a chimp or baboon with either their bare hands or an easily improvised or held object like a rock. If a gorilla wants to kill you, you're hosed. There is nothing you can do with anything short of a spear and even then it'll still kill you you'd just take it with you. Seriously, the only mistake evolution made with the gorilla is that they're not blood thirsty.

# ? Dec 21, 2014 08:23

Robo Reagan: Feb 12, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

I really, really want to see a human get in to a legit fight with a gorilla, no tools allowed 1v1.

# ? Dec 21, 2014 08:32

Fatkraken: Jun 23, 2005; Fun-time is over.

naem posted:

half way between a man and a wolf.

Baboons are basically Werewolves.

# ? Dec 21, 2014 08:37

naem: May 29, 2011

Fatkraken posted:

half way between a man and a wolf.

Baboons are basically Werewolves.

I want one as a sidekick

# ? Dec 21, 2014 08:45

naem: May 29, 2011

I'll make him wear like a ninja turtle style mask, the cloth with eyeholes one you tie around your head. Even though, it's a monkey he doesnt have an identity to protect

# ? Dec 21, 2014 08:46

Pharmaskittle: Dec 17, 2007; arf arf put the money in the fuckin bag

Robo Reagan posted:

I really, really want to see a human get in to a legit fight with a gorilla, no tools allowed 1v1.

Gorilla wins, 100 times out of 100. If you just meant that you want to see a human get beaten to death, then you've discovered your perfect sporting event.

ed: like, even if you gave the human a rock that can fit in their hand, I'd give them miniscule odds, but a hand to hand fight is unwinnable

# ? Dec 21, 2014 08:51

Robo Reagan: Feb 12, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

Pharmaskittle posted:

Gorilla wins, 100 times out of 100. If you just meant that you want to see a human get beaten to death, then you've discovered your perfect sporting event.

Yeah I know it won't be a contest I just want to see some Wrestle Bros who talk about how they could totally choke hold a gorilla in to submission actually try and do it

# ? Dec 21, 2014 08:53

Pharmaskittle: Dec 17, 2007; arf arf put the money in the fuckin bag

Robo Reagan posted:

Yeah I know it won't be a contest I just want to see some Wrestle Bros who talk about how they could totally choke hold a gorilla in to submission actually try and do it

Yes ok, I can stand behind this

# ? Dec 21, 2014 08:56

Herstory Begins Now: Aug 5, 2003; SOME REALLY TEDIOUS DUMB SHIT THAT SUCKS ASS TO READ ->>

Milky Moor posted:

hahah

on another forum, i know a guy who insisted that a well-trained human could kill a gorilla with only what they could find in a jungle. he also claimed that killing the gorilla's children and climbing a tree would be instrumental parts of his strategy. killing the babies was psychological warfare, you see

i'm not sure he knew what a gorilla actually is

You actually could pretty easily kill a gorilla with a deadfall trap.

# ? Dec 21, 2014 08:59

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

Robo Reagan posted:

I really, really want to see a human get in to a legit fight with a gorilla, no tools allowed 1v1.

Do we get to pick which human?
I'd go for Mills Darden, a 7'6" farmer who weighed around 1000-1100 lbs. Maybe he could smother the gorilla by falling on it.

# ? Dec 21, 2014 10:15

a real rude dude: Jan 23, 2005

this thread was nearly as good as the last man v gorilla thread years ago, good try everyone

# ? Dec 21, 2014 12:19

RonMexicosPitbull: Feb 28, 2012; by Ralp

MegaGatts posted:

No way. Sure they're more gentle and less apt to attack but there are accounts of a human being killing a chimp or baboon with either their bare hands or an easily improvised or held object like a rock. If a gorilla wants to kill you, you're hosed. There is nothing you can do with anything short of a spear and even then it'll still kill you you'd just take it with you. Seriously, the only mistake evolution made with the gorilla is that they're not blood thirsty.

yea but their balls are super small and itd be easy to gently caress his mate and pass on my genes instead of his. His sperm from those patheitcally tiny balls just aren't up to it.

# ? Dec 21, 2014 12:25