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I cleaned some sticky orange wax out of my ear earlier today with a bobby pin. they're good for scoopin'
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May 1, 2015 00:21
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naem posted:I'm almost fully prepared for the zombie apocalypse The cdc from like 4 years ago wants a word with you. "Someone, please make our meaningless job more entertaining. I've ran the numbers and the likelihood of avian flu outbreaks in the U.S. is like .0876% in the next 50 years. gently caress it zombies"
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May 1, 2015 00:22
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my friends in real life are all extremely lame compared to the ones I have online, and I find this really loving weird
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May 1, 2015 00:22
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I have a secret guys I'm gay af. Like sailor gay, like drunk frat boy just chilling with his bros gay. I'm THAT gay.
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May 1, 2015 00:25
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klapman posted:my friends in real life are all extremely lame compared to the ones I have online, and I find this really loving weird i noticed that i definitely prefer to be drunk around my friends, they're not particularly cool otherwise
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May 1, 2015 00:26
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At my previous small company, I had sex with the sons of almost half the execs who were a VP or above. (one by total accident, I just flirted with a server at a random italian restaurant and SURPRISE! no wonder he looked familiar.) Nearly all those execs were homophobic pieces of poo poo. Yet, without intending to at first, I blasted my seed inside their moaning, trembling, eager young adult sons. I've never spoken or written that. It feels super good to get that off my chest. Thanks for this opportunity.
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May 1, 2015 00:31
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that's hot, you should write that all out and sell it.
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May 1, 2015 01:05
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zidane13 posted:that's hot, you should write that all out and sell it.
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May 1, 2015 01:07
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zidane13 posted:that's hot, you should write that all out and sell it. Totes. That's hotter than a fresh load on a twink chest
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May 1, 2015 01:09
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has anybody admitted to being gay yet? if not, then im gay
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May 1, 2015 01:15
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Do It Once Right posted:At my previous small company, I had sex with the sons of almost half the execs who were a VP or above. (one by total accident, I just flirted with a server at a random italian restaurant and SURPRISE! no wonder he looked familiar.) That's 100% awesome
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May 1, 2015 01:27
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i am slightly racist against indians since every one i met over the years had really hosed up views about women and dating and were pretty sexist in general
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May 1, 2015 01:41
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This felt really good, so I have one more secret much more terrible than the last. I have lurked on SA without registering for the forums for a loooooong time. I learned about this site in college as an undergrad. An embarrassingly long time ago. I make cheap assholes feel good about themselves with how cheap I am by comparison. I'm boring irl (in real life), so I don't have anything interesting or funny to say often, nor a lot of free time to say it to random strangers, but still when you think about the bandwidth I used over a decade of freeloading and never clicking any ads here my eventual ten bux probably didn't even put Lowtax in the green. I can't handle that guilt anymore. I sincerely apologize.
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May 1, 2015 01:46
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cShYbLkhBc
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May 1, 2015 02:40
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I guess I can't hide it anymore. I'm not actually gay. I have two kids and a loving wife. My shame is my own cross to bear. Sorry, goons.
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May 1, 2015 03:03
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This is the most retarded, zero-content 'confessions' thread yet and still we don't get halfway down page 2 before it turns out that some dipshit goon is actually an IRL sexual dynamo who embodies poetic justice through his awesome, sexy conquests please goddamn shoot yourself in the loving face ten times thanks
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May 1, 2015 03:59
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Tujague posted:This is the most retarded, zero-content 'confessions' thread yet and still we don't get halfway down page 2 before it turns out that some dipshit goon is actually an IRL sexual dynamo who embodies poetic justice through his awesome, sexy conquests MLP whistle blowing party pooping jerk here to put you in line.
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May 1, 2015 04:02
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May 1, 2015 04:06
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i got a goon's wife to send me nudes and i feel really bad about it edit: he found out about it when she fell asleep and i accidentally forwarded one of the pictures back to her trying to save it to my phone and it lit up her iphone screen
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May 1, 2015 04:08
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TOOT BOOT posted:the wu tang secret is Wendigee posted:I need to know this for a friend.... It ain't nothing to gently caress with, there is your answer. Content wise: I like the smell of my ball sweat.
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May 1, 2015 08:14
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Secret secrets are no fun, secret secrets hurt someone.
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May 1, 2015 08:16
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I like to bring a tupperware container into the bath with me so i turn it upside down under water and fart into it so that when the water drains out the tupperware seals itself on the bottom of the tub and whoever flips it over BAM time delay fart.
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May 1, 2015 08:19
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I sort of long for the apocalypse a lot. I'm a big history buff, and I hate the idea of dying and never knowing how the loving stupid mess of humanity pans out. Not like a gay zombie apocalypse where I survive and prepare and pretending killing hordes of blac..zombies. I mean the sun explodes, or Jupiter slams into us. Something spectacular. Something final. I get an eerie feeling of calm from thinking about watching the spectacle. Knowing that of all the men who lived and died, I got to read the beginning and personally see the end of our sad little story in the cosmos.
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May 1, 2015 08:26
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FordPRefectLL posted:i got a goon's wife to send me nudes and i feel really bad about it It was fungus girl lmao
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May 1, 2015 08:59
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I only have like, three or four teeth.
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May 1, 2015 09:00
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Dead Gay Romans posted:I sort of long for the apocalypse a lot. I'm a big history buff, and I hate the idea of dying and never knowing how the loving stupid mess of humanity pans out. I get thoughts like these too, but I also worry I'd be a huge wuss about it when it actually got down to the finality of it.
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May 1, 2015 09:02
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RanchoRube posted:I get thoughts like these too, but I also worry I'd be a huge wuss about it when it actually got down to the finality of it. so what, it's not a movie. you will be torn asunder along with all you know and all that ever was. piss yourself, weep into a loved ones arms, cuddle a pet, vomit in sheer terror. what does it matter? it's real life not a movie, you and everyone else will be a sorry sight.
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May 1, 2015 09:06
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I might miss all the cool poo poo if I'm in the fetal position.
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May 1, 2015 09:09
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well yeah you might also be asleep. You might awaken to a tremendous roar, maybe a bright flash, and without a single thought all your atoms are hurtling towards Neptune at light speed. kind of a bummer i guess.
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May 1, 2015 09:16
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i don't care that the 'Secret' app that was valued at ~$100mill last year recently shut down
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May 1, 2015 09:26
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Son of Rodney posted:i am slightly racist against indians since every one i met over the years had really hosed up views about women and dating and were pretty sexist in general I live in India and I have to agree with this and I do my best to convince any and all non-Indian girls to stay the gently caress away from Indian men. God, they have no idea what they are getting into.
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May 1, 2015 09:29
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I've just started an affair with a work colleague.
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May 1, 2015 09:39
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I really don't trust jews
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May 1, 2015 09:57
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Beef is my least favourite meat so I don't really get why people go up in arms over it being well done I prefer it rare but if others want it well done it is their choice.
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May 1, 2015 10:27
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WAMPA_STOMPA posted:im gay i'm actually straight and have been living a gbs lie
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May 1, 2015 12:02
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Stalins Moustache posted:I don't care about AC/DC, Rolling Stones and Metallica. I think they're incredibly overrated. AC/DC owns and jazz sucks rear end
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May 1, 2015 12:06
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I refuse to have sex because of the paralyzing fear of STD's and poo poo like that. Oh and I was raped. That may also have something to do with that.
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May 1, 2015 12:08
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AbbadonOfHell posted:Content wise: Right on, ball smelling bro. I have been a nose picker my whole life - I have come to accept that this is just a part of me and I don't want to change it. As a matter of fact, I like to wipe my boogers on things and pretend that I am 'making my mark' (although I know that in reality if anyone saw it they would think it was gross as gently caress). Sometimes I feel ashamed of not being true to myself when I subtly use a tissue to clean out my nose in polite company. Don't booger shame. #donotreblog
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May 1, 2015 12:20
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my life isn't even interesting enough to have any cool secrets. I guess that's my secret.
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May 1, 2015 12:23
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