I love to bring like 20 things at the express check out at the market

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > I love to bring like 20 things at the express check out at the market

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CISMALES DID 9-11: Jun 5, 2002; chaotic good STEM major; INTJ

this page reserved for interesting thoughts

# ? Aug 27, 2015 17:21

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 05:48

CAPT. Rainbowbeard: Apr 5, 2012; My incredible goodposting transcends time and space but still it cannot transform the xbone into a good console.; Lipstick Apathy

Make sure you pay with singles, OP. Treat every bill lovingly accepted into the auto-cashier's loving brace as a personal message from God that He, in fact, loves you and wishes to spend more time with you, and not the people in line behind you who actually know what an auto cashier is for.

# ? Aug 27, 2015 17:22

Libelous Slander: May 1, 2009; ... you're just creepy ...

Moridin920 posted:

self checkout

eat fresh

# ? Aug 27, 2015 17:42

Matey: Mar 28, 2008; eat food

CISMALES DID 9-11 posted:

this page reserved for interesting thoughts

drat man how you keep doing that? you running some kind of page sniper program bot?

# ? Aug 27, 2015 17:55

Pitdragon: Jan 20, 2004; Just another lurker

On the one hand when I shop I want to get in and out as fast as possible, on the other hand it's funny to watch old people struggle to use self checkout and then get mad about it and start muttering about how stupid the machine they are using is

# ? Aug 27, 2015 18:04

Pitdragon: Jan 20, 2004; Just another lurker

It's like when someone is blocking the middle of an aisle with their cart while they stand there looking through merchandise. On the one hand it's rude behavior and I don't like it, on the other hand I get to walk up to them and say "excuse me" to get them to move their cart and 90% of the time they act like I just told them to go gently caress themselves. They always move the cart though.

# ? Aug 27, 2015 18:09

The General: Mar 4, 2007

Pitdragon posted:

It's like when someone is blocking the middle of an aisle with their cart while they stand there looking through merchandise. On the one hand it's rude behavior and I don't like it, on the other hand I get to walk up to them and say "excuse me" to get them to move their cart and 90% of the time they act like I just told them to go gently caress themselves. They always move the cart though.

In Canada, it's a race to apologize first. Both the rear end in a top hat person taking up the entire aisle, and the person just trying to get by must race to say "I'm Sorry!" first.

# ? Aug 27, 2015 18:12

Pitdragon: Jan 20, 2004; Just another lurker

The General posted:

In Canada, it's a race to apologize first. Both the rear end in a top hat person taking up the entire aisle, and the person just trying to get by must race to say "I'm Sorry!" first.

Canadian people seem like they are a lot more polite than American people based off your and my personal anecdotes

# ? Aug 27, 2015 18:23

a bay: Oct 14, 2014; by Lowtax

Pitdragon posted:

It's like when someone is blocking the middle of an aisle with their cart while they stand there looking through merchandise. On the one hand it's rude behavior and I don't like it, on the other hand I get to walk up to them and say "excuse me" to get them to move their cart and 90% of the time they act like I just told them to go gently caress themselves. They always move the cart though.

I dont even care if a carts in my way I will just move it myself

# ? Aug 27, 2015 18:24

AbbadonOfHell: Jul 16, 2004; You know I would try to think of something funny to put here but ill just pass on that and threaten people with a + 2 board with a nail in it.

fivethree posted:

isnt express generally 20 items ?

Yeah, but old people and trashy folks either don't read or care.

# ? Aug 27, 2015 18:25

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

i was at the drugstore trying to buy formula for my screaming baby a few weeks back and there was this guy arguing with the only cashier because the store brand foot fungus spray was buy 1 get 1 half off and there was only one on the shelf. he would not leave without 25% off his single can of foot fungus spray

# ? Aug 27, 2015 18:27

Safety First: Jul 22, 2015

Dollas posted:

*pays with check*

*pays with exact change, most of which is pennies*

# ? Aug 27, 2015 18:29

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Wafflz posted:

If you live in an area with 24 hour grocery stores it is best to go shopping after midnight. It's faster to check out and the people who shop after midnight (possibly including yourself) are more entertaining.

i disagree, its a loving lot slower to checkout because usually the checkout stand is completely unmanned for like 45 minutes for when it takes the one worker whose on shift that night to finally waddle up and check out the 20 disgruntled drunk kids or meth tweakers buying booze and candy at 1am.

it's always miserable and takes waay loving longer than it should.

but maybe that's just because safeway loving sucks and is the most garbage tier grocery store and has everything starved and understaffed by at least 50% or more.

# ? Aug 27, 2015 18:31

CISMALES DID 9-11: Jun 5, 2002; chaotic good STEM major; INTJ

Matey posted:

drat man how you keep doing that? you running some kind of page sniper program bot?

when u have ice water in ur veins, its easy

# ? Aug 27, 2015 18:33

Pitdragon: Jan 20, 2004; Just another lurker

CISMALES DID 9-11 posted:

when u have ice water in ur veins, its easy

whoa ice water in your veins??? you must be a real cool dude!

# ? Aug 27, 2015 18:38

Vulture Culture: Jul 14, 2003; I was never enjoying it. I only eat it for the nutrients.

Xaris posted:

i disagree, its a loving lot slower to checkout because usually the checkout stand is completely unmanned for like 45 minutes for when it takes the one worker whose on shift that night to finally waddle up and check out the 20 disgruntled drunk kids or meth tweakers buying booze and candy at 1am.

it's always miserable and takes waay loving longer than it should.

but maybe that's just because safeway loving sucks and is the most garbage tier grocery store and has everything starved and understaffed by at least 50% or more.

lol if your late-night grocery doesn't have 4 self checkouts and a single person to do loss prevention and check IDs

# ? Aug 27, 2015 18:40

big nipples big life: May 12, 2014

Xaris posted:

i disagree, its a loving lot slower to checkout because usually the checkout stand is completely unmanned for like 45 minutes for when it takes the one worker whose on shift that night to finally waddle up and check out the 20 disgruntled drunk kids or meth tweakers buying booze and candy at 1am.

it's always miserable and takes waay loving longer than it should.

but maybe that's just because safeway loving sucks and is the most garbage tier grocery store and has everything starved and understaffed by at least 50% or more.

Going to say it's probably Safeway. Midnight shopping at Kroger or Publix is always fast.

# ? Aug 27, 2015 18:59

augias: Apr 7, 2009

Rick Rickshaw posted:

I like to buy bananas of varying ripeness levels for obvious reasons, which causes them not to be bundled. Do they then count as multiple items if they're separated?

This question keeps me up at night.

a bay posted:

You can get more items than you are supposed to at the express check out if you bring what you are buying and a bundle of bananas to it and then separate them

Grown men who do not understand pricing by weight.

# ? Aug 28, 2015 13:47

a bay: Oct 14, 2014; by Lowtax

Im not a grown man and weighth has nothing to do with what I said

# ? Aug 30, 2015 18:20

Idiot Kicker: Jun 13, 2007

My record as a walmart cashier was 101. some woman brought 101 loving items to the 15 or less line. And whatever, she probably didn't speak much English, but numerals are universal in Western languages

# ? Aug 30, 2015 18:54

Harald: Jul 10, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

America deserved 9/11

# ? Aug 30, 2015 18:56

That DICK!: Sep 28, 2010

self checkout helps me steal stuff

# ? Aug 30, 2015 19:29

Parity warning: Nov 1, 2009; 3rd Place, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

That DICK! posted:

self checkout helps me steal stuff

This and you can just ring up produce and bulk foods as whatever. Karma makes u pay tho by waiting for the obese family with a literal cartful of items who somehow can't even manage to scan groceries quickly

# ? Aug 30, 2015 21:19

proof of concept: Mar 6, 2005; by FactsAreUseless

Libelous Slander posted:

*kids repeatedly lean on the grocery scale at the self checkout, halting the transaction and requiring staff override to continue the check out process. this happens no less than 7 times*

I've seen people do this intentionally to "sneak" extra stuff into bags without scanning them, acting all james bond about it like the minimum wage clerk gives a poo poo

# ? Aug 30, 2015 22:11

SKELETON GHOST: Jan 11, 2015; by Ralp

a bay posted:

Its funny when people give you the stink eye because they have to wait for the cashier to spend an extra .6 minutes ringing stuff up. Its not my fault you had to stop to get a bag of ice on the way to the ice party or whatever, leave earlier if your so pressed for time dude

i bet youve never been to an ice party you son of a bitch watch your fuckin tone

# ? Aug 30, 2015 22:35