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I had my funny bone removed
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Jun 23, 2016 23:02
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 03:23 |
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-Wisdom teeth removed -Bankart repair On July 1st I find out if I need another Bankart repair or some other type of shoulder surgery.
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Jun 23, 2016 23:04
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shuffleboard is cool I need wisdom teeth and a lot of other dental work but I can't afford it when is the government gonna give me everything for free
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Jun 23, 2016 23:07
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i had my neck fat fashioned into a functional second rear end so i can use the toilet as a pillow and poop in my sleep.
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Jun 23, 2016 23:14
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Windows 98 posted:I had my funny bone removed Moderator material, imo
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Jun 23, 2016 23:21
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i got no appendix..i feel empty
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Jun 23, 2016 23:26
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they removed my penis because everyone was jealous but it just grew back. it was ingrown at first but if you yank hard enough youll be right as rain 
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Jun 23, 2016 23:39
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I had a spinal fusion in a childrens hospital. It was p lame. Some gross lady named Freddy was feeling me up while I was 15 years old and on sodium pentathol presurgical drugs, asking me if I had a girlfriend right before I went under. Then in addition to the surgical pain I had an itchy spot right under my balls where my buttcrack starts for like 2 weeks. It was weird because there were supposedly not doing any surgery in that spot, just a hip graft and a fusion down to lumbar vertebrae whatever. It specifically itched like healing scar tissue. Welp that's my medical child rape story.
ClamdestineBoyster fucked around with this message at 23:54 on Jun 23, 2016 |
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Jun 23, 2016 23:48
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I had part of my colon removed. While they were in there I had them transplant a gorilla clit to make up for the reduced sensation.
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Jun 23, 2016 23:50
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criscodisco posted:I had part of my colon removed. Carrier pigeon me.
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Jun 23, 2016 23:51
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i hd my balls removed and replaced w/ a slide whistle sound effect that plays every ytime i mention my balls rwemoval surgury
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Jun 23, 2016 23:57
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I had fragments of fireworks removed from my eyeball and now every six months when I go for a contact lens check they ask me about the scar on my cornea why can't they JUST MAKE A loving NOTE JESUS
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Jun 24, 2016 00:10
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Forgot to mention my vasectomy. Best $1.83 out of pocket I've ever spent.
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Jun 24, 2016 00:20
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I have had two sinus surgeries to remove nasal polyps, first one as a kid and I still remember the smell of the 5 feet of mummy wrap they had stuffed up there Two double lung transplants, first was easy but second I pretty much died and spent 6 months in the icu And I got a big chunk taken out of my balls to harvest my sperm because I ain't got no vas deferens
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Jun 24, 2016 03:35
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can i have the rest of your balls
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Jun 24, 2016 03:43
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Will you give them a loving home?
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Jun 24, 2016 03:48
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Turpitude posted:Will you give them a loving home? i would, my tetras just died and my fish tank is empty
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Jun 24, 2016 03:48
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I've never had a surgery because I'm not broken
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Jun 24, 2016 03:52
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i got like 10 teeth taken out at once and i got to keep them all afterwards and kept them in a jar because i couldnt just throw away something like that
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Jun 24, 2016 03:54
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The summer before my senior year my buddies were big into paintball. poo poo was expensive, probably still is. I opted out. They called me - it was June 21 the summer solstice - and told me Rob couldn't make it and everything was paid for and I could use Rob's stuff and would I come out? Sure, why not. I spent the afternoon running through some woods while getting shot at. It was... uh... fun? I guess? Anyways, we quit as it got dusky and drove back to Mike's house. Mike lived by a large, undeveloped swamp near the edge of town. They said 'hey let's play in the swamp while we still have light'. We went back to our cars to grab our gear and I grabbed my gun from the front seat and looked at the trunk. Rob was shorter than I was and the gear didn't fit well. I was tired, I didn't want to put that poo poo on or wear it for another hour. What harm could it do to leave it behind? I ran back to the swamp without any jacket or face or eye protection. What can I say in my defense? I was young and dumb. With a few minutes of starting I tried to ambush someone crossing the low area of the swamp. I had the jump on him and I remember him whirling and firing at me. I took the first one directly to my right eye. I went down screaming. I had my hand over it and remember falling backwards onto the muddy swamp. He came running over and I was all "My eye! gently caress! poo poo! I got hit in my eye!". I scrambled up and towards Mike's house. I made it to the driveway when the rest of the game had come over after hearing something happening. I remember facing them and telling them what happened. I said "I'm gonna lower my hand" and when I did I saw a few of them take a step back. My hand was covered in green paint, mud, and blood. I knew poo poo was bad. They called my mom who took me to the local hospital. This was a small town and they were in no way prepared to deal with an eye emergency. They made calls and scheduled me with an eye clinic in Minneapolis (Edina, actually) the next morning. I was put into a hospital bed but they wouldn't give me anything for the pain because they didn't know what it might do to the eye. I writhed and cried to my dad and vomited all night long until early in the AM when he put me into the car and started the many hour drive to the city. He got me there and checked in and they immediately gave me something that took away all the pain. I had two major eye surgeries and had to spend the summer before my senior year of high school flat on my stomach. To try and save my vision they had injected an air bubble into my eye and I had to lay face down so that it held the retina in place. No reading, no TV, nothing. My mom checked me out books on tape (90's so literally books on tape) and would come and flip/change the tapes to give me something to listen to. My buddies came to visit and I would just lay there face down while they talked to me. I lost 90% of the vision in my right eye, I have a little peripheral vision in the bottom corner but that's it.
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Jun 24, 2016 04:13
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OMG JC a Bomb! posted:I got a pilonidal cyst which is apparently the gooniest of diseases. I had one of those years ago and was almost paralyzed because it was so close to the base of my spine and now I have a big scoop of flesh missing. Your Dead Gay Son posted:
Yes it does. Luckily I'm in a universal healthcare country, otherwise I'd be bankrupt.
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Jun 24, 2016 04:18
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Zahgaegun posted:The summer before my senior year my buddies were big into paintball. poo poo was expensive, probably still is. I opted out. this dude needs a swirly
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Jun 24, 2016 04:21
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My wrist surgery is coming along fine, thanks for asking goons (the only one to show any concern was a certain DadGay.SoWhat, obvious noobie lolll). Don't destroy your wrist is what I'm saying
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Jun 24, 2016 04:25
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jackyl posted:this dude needs a swirly I'll give you a swirly first so help me God
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Jun 24, 2016 04:28
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Champenema posted:Don't destroy your wrist is what I'm saying Oh now you tell me
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Jun 24, 2016 05:38
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Hernia in the pelvic region. Day surgery.
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Jun 24, 2016 06:46
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i added a fourth nipple
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Jun 24, 2016 06:49
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I had a live human cut out of my midsection. I don't remember it (general anesthesia because it was an emergency) but I remember the morphine button and being shown the first picture ever of the kid right as the morphine hit me, causing me to yell "WOE HE'S GOT HUGE BALLS." those were my first words ever about my kid after he was born. Also remember not farting for three days because I was convinced it would pop the staples or shoot my uterus out through my vaginal canal or something When I finally got the courage to fart, obv the staples held, and I went into the bathroom and farted for five minutes straight. People could hear and I didn't care Oh and a lot of blood. Huge pads + huge underwear to hold the huge pads, nurses put these absorbent pads under my rear end on the bed. I stood up once and apparently everything was at capacity, because a bunch of blood just streamed to the floor and baby-daddy looked like he was going to lose consciousness Honestly was probably less painful than vaginal birth, healing included. Bled for a month, then I was fine Also had a couple cysts removed from an ovary and two wisdom teeth surgically removed (small mouth) but neither of those were a big deal. Not at the time and especially not compared to a c-section
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Jun 24, 2016 07:19
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Fixed the crack in my butt. Nice and smooth now. 
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Jun 24, 2016 07:35
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Catheter ablation actual procedure was nothing, especially because i kept asking for more  worst part was the pre-op check up where they shove a huge rubber dildo down your throat to check for blood clots etc. in the heart. you'd think at this time and age technology would allow for more elegant devices. they give you this gel you're supposed gargle with to numb your throat, but i kinda failed at that. instead i just swooshed it around my mouth and then swallowed it. they had to force that goddamn thing down. there were 3 doctors in the room, one pushed it in and 2 others tried to calm my ridiculously strong gag reflex. after the procedure one of them quickly vanished, one was staring at the wall holding his hand over his mouth and one lady mumbled something into her voice recorder and i was dismissed. either they all felt really bad for me or they had a hard time holding back laughter. i'd bet on the latter.
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Jun 24, 2016 07:47
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Do you think people with hosed up diseases should be allowed to die to increase the fitness of the species
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Jun 24, 2016 07:47
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Adenoids out Adenoids out again Tonsils out Wisdom teeth out I think that's it
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Jun 24, 2016 09:10
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My gallbladder decided to make a gallstone the size of a grape, then tried to shove that stone through a teeny tiny tube, then EXPLODED so it had to be removed. I'm told they had to suck all the bile and acid and gunk off of my surrounding organs and vacuum them up real nice. Still damaged the poo poo out of my liver and I couldn't drink for six months. Three months later I had to have a skin infection removed. Two months after that I got my tubes tied. I went from being normal to having 16 small cuts all over my stomach, it looks like someone tried to kill me with a very small, ineffective prison shiv. Oh and wisdom teeth but whatever.
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Jun 24, 2016 09:47
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They took out the flap of gums that connected my upper lip to just above my front teeth for some reason
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Jun 24, 2016 09:49
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Wisdom teeth during summer between freshman and sophomore years in high school, colonoscopy, and re-packing my exploded pinky finger back together after it was crushed to the point of bursting + breaking the bones. These are pretty weaksauce surgeries but it's what I got. gently caress wisdom teeth surgery though, I bled for 4 days and vomited blood more times than I could keep track of. It was brutal.
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Jun 24, 2016 10:39
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appendectomy at 10, tonsils at 18, nothing cool
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Jun 24, 2016 10:57
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Crimson Harvest posted:gently caress wisdom teeth surgery though, I bled for 4 days and vomited blood more times than I could keep track of. It was brutal. I didn't get my wisdom teeth removed until I was 35. Luckily it was only on the top, bottom ones never appeared.
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Jun 24, 2016 11:03
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All my wisdom teeth came in straight as arrows. Lucky I missed that bus. Pain to brush though.
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Jun 24, 2016 11:26
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I tried looking for my MRI pic of my hosed up spine. If I find it I'll post it. Jesus Christ so much pain.
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Jun 24, 2016 11:30
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 03:23 |
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Four wisdom teeth, two complicated extractions after failed root canals, gastro endoscopy, but here are the worst two: I was circumcised at age 11 due to phimosis. The anesthesia was very rough on me, I still remember vividly how miserable I felt all day after waking up. Also, I was at the age when random boners are a thing, so those would stretch and pop stitches in the most painful way you can imagine. Also, in the early stages of healing, the sensitive, newly exposed head and the raw, seeping stitches would stick to my underwear, and I'd have to peel them off carefully; this was unavoidable and incredibly painful. I've been extremely jealous ever since of everyone who gets circumcised at birth, and whenever I hear anti-circumcision political speech or see their floats at pride parades and whatnot, that poo poo pisses me off to no end. No loving way I'll ever roll the dice on my kids possibly having to go through what I had to endure. This is another thing that happened to me, anesthesia-free tonsillectomy:  http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=47d_1277026181 I was about the same age as the kid in the video. All I remember is blood and screaming, forever. There was an old rusty bucket for me to throw up blood/chunks of flesh into. My surgeon wasn't nearly as quick as the one in the video. Afterwards, my mom basically called me a little bitch for crying so much. Also, I got ice cream and a butt candle. new friend from school fucked around with this message at 14:11 on Jun 24, 2016 |
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Jun 24, 2016 13:46
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