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I'm here to shoot pink lasers and chew bubblegum. And I'm all out of gum.
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Jul 29, 2013 07:30
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pandaK posted:Not to be rude, but I think you might be slightly color blind. Yes, they're different shades of green, but the lines of the headband flow neatly into the line of the snake. So, in a casual glance, I saw this:  Rather than this:  Also, Snake would totally wear a snake for a headband 
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Jul 29, 2013 14:07
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Hnn... One has to be prepared for anything ON THE BATTLEFIELD. With a snake as my bandana, I have infinite ammo AND a backup throwing weapon in case I run out!
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Jul 30, 2013 03:45
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Nekomimi-Maiden posted:Hnn... One has to be prepared for anything ON THE BATTLEFIELD. With a snake as my bandana, I have infinite ammo AND a backup throwing weapon in case I run out! How would a snake-bandana give infinite ammo? Is its tongue forked into the shape of an infinity symbol?
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Jul 30, 2013 05:17
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Kadorhal posted:How would a snake-bandana give infinite ammo? Is its tongue forked into the shape of an infinity symbol? It's an ouroboros.
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Jul 30, 2013 05:19
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Kadorhal posted:How would a snake-bandana give infinite ammo? Is its tongue forked into the shape of an infinity symbol? Flick it at the enemy like a whip and the snakes bites them.
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Jul 30, 2013 06:11
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Nekomimi-Maiden posted:Hnn... One has to be prepared for anything ON THE BATTLEFIELD. With a snake as my bandana, I have infinite ammo AND a backup throwing weapon in case I run out! Run out of infinite ammo?
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Jul 30, 2013 07:02
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Glaric posted:Run out of infinite ammo? What part of 'be prepared for anything' did you not understand?
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Jul 30, 2013 07:03
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Glaric posted:Run out of infinite ammo?  In fact, there'd be no way for him to run out of ammo. Infinite ammo means infinite snakes to throw!
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Jul 30, 2013 07:04
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Dabir posted:
Make sure you don't throw the one on your head though. No bandana means no infinite ammo after all.
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Jul 30, 2013 13:40
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But when you took it from your head... there'd be another one.
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Jul 30, 2013 14:39
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Dabir posted:But when you took it from your head... there'd be another one. SNAKE PARADOX
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Jul 30, 2013 15:22
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I actually really love that part of Monsoon's strategy was to get you to cut up a bunch of useless pieces of junk so he could cram it all together into one giant DEATH WHEEL 
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Jul 30, 2013 16:56
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I dunno how useless multiple military grade APCs and helicopters are really. I wonder how much money was just sliced and diced in that fight, not even counting the damage to the buildings wall from the finisher, or the obelisk that got ripped up.
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Jul 30, 2013 19:19
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You should see it on Revengance where he gets to the point of throwing 6-7 items at you each time. Billions of dollars worth of Police and Military equipment destroyed in a matter of minutes.
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Jul 30, 2013 19:37
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You guys are the best LPers. This LP is hilarious and I've been filling in my free time watching your past ones. You pick the most absurd games and it works so well with your style. 50 Cent was awesome and The You Testament is so funny I drat near wet myself. Then I bought myself a new custom title based off it, because holy hell. So uh, thanks. It's already been done, but I'd love to see you guys do Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon. It's totally ridiculous and I think you'd probably get a kick out of it. Nelson Mandela fucked around with this message at 20:42 on Jul 31, 2013 |
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Jul 31, 2013 20:40
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The next update will be up tomorrow instead of Friday because I'm getting all of my wisdom teeth taken out on Friday. Just in time for Pikmin 3 on Sunday! This is pretty gamers.txt, but here's something that I find really entertaining: a garbage review of Revengeance. I'm a terrible person and get a really smug sense of satisfaction when a game review basically outs that the reviewer didn't play the game for more than an hour and/or they are loving terrible at video games. This one reminds me of that IGN God Hand review where the guy gave it a 3 because he deemed it too hard after playing it for an hour. I'm just going to post some excerpts here because the actual review spoils some endgame plot. PlayStationLifeStyle.net posted:If you do have clear visibility of an incoming enemy strike, which will shine red to let you know it’s coming, you have to press the attack button in hopes that you actually parry and don’t attack instead. Maybe 25% of the time the parry actually works. PlayStationLifeStyle.net posted:I did not complete the game. I did not finish the last boss. On normal. This is something that would bring great shame to me had this been an actual challenge, and not difficult only because combat is such a joke. PlayStationLifeStyle.net posted:Worse yet, for a series known for having some of the most memorable villains and boss fights in video game history, Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance has some of the most pathetic, bland villains I’ve seen. I didn’t fear them for being ferocious, I feared them because I knew how poorly designed each fight was and how infuriating the next one would be. Even the supporting cast suffered from being completely generic and useless. Talking to them over codec… I just wanted it to stop. But they had so much to say, and so did the enemies. Hours of talking. Hours of cutscenes. (Actually running time for cutscenes is about an hour and twenty minutes, shorter than the Devil May Cry reboot.) PlayStationLifeStyle.net posted:Unfortunately, outside of seeing the number increase when bolstering Raiden’s help, anything I unlocked and purchased was barely noticeable in combat. It also allowed you to purchase the weapons that each boss used against you. I bought them, but I saw little point in using them. (Ignore the fact that all the weapons and most of the moves you get are actually really good, especially the Sai from Monsoon.) He gave the game a 3 out of 10.
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Aug 1, 2013 04:28
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Bland Villains. Bland Villains?!  Hope getting your teeth removed doesn't suck too hard, Chip.
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Aug 1, 2013 04:37
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quote:I did not complete the game. I did not finish the last boss. On normal. This is something that would bring great shame to me had this been an actual challenge, and not difficult only because combat is such a joke. The rest of that review is poo poo but to be fair I also found the very final boss to be a huge rear end in a top hat my first time through too. I couldn't get the mechanic down at all (which also led to an earlier one being harder than it should have been). Of course, I had had my own wisdom teeth removed the day before and was still out of it, but still, took me a solid hour. quote:Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance has some of the most pathetic, bland villains I’ve seen What the hell else is he watching?
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Aug 1, 2013 04:38
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IIRC, GameInformer gave a similar review (but the score was like twice as high despite being just as negative) and complaints included: Parrying is too hard to do, I can just button mash on normal difficulty (wait what), there's no dodge move and I'm assuming that a dodge move is necessary (Editorial Edit: The comments tell me there is a dodge move, so I'll edit a snarky comment into the review about how it's "cumbersome" somehow so it doesn't count), and the Metal Gear world isn't built up, past characters like Snake are never mentioned, and Raiden's motivations are never explored (because I never opened the Codec).
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Aug 1, 2013 04:44
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Games "journalism" at its finest. There's nothing wrong with disliking MGR but this "reviewer" obviously didn't pay very much attention to anything in the game.
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Aug 1, 2013 04:44
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I've learned to ignore game reviews. They either overhype or trash games I like, and are rarely ever very sensible about them. Have fun with getting the teeth removed! I seriously have no idea where the reviewer got the "bland villains" thing.
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Aug 1, 2013 05:10
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See, this is why I never read reviews from anyone but goons and Giant Bomb.
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Aug 1, 2013 05:13
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Chip Cheezum posted:I'm a terrible person and get a really smug sense of satisfaction when a game review basically outs that the reviewer didn't play the game for more than an hour and/or they are loving terrible at video games. We are all terrible people, Chip. We all are. On a note of significantly less camaraderie, I've never had my wisdom teeth pulled. My little brother did, and he was fairly irritable about the whole affair. So, yeah. Maybe it'll hurt less for you. No, but seriously, what's the deal with wisdom teeth? Growing in at a bad angle or what?
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Aug 1, 2013 05:20
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bman in 2288 posted:We are all terrible people, Chip. I think our mouths generally plan on losing a few, so there's not enough room for them unless you're a mutant.
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Aug 1, 2013 05:22
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bman in 2288 posted:We are all terrible people, Chip. I think that if they grow at a bad angle, they can do nasty things to your non-wisdom teeth.
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Aug 1, 2013 05:23
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Apotheosis posted:See, this is why I never read reviews from anyone but goons and Giant Bomb. I find Eurogamer and Game Trailers are usually okay, to be fair.
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Aug 1, 2013 05:25
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Wisdom teeth aren't so much 'pulled' anymore as they are drilled into tiny chunks and removed piece by piece. If you get a local the experience is totally surreal. There are two common dangers with wisdom teeth; sometimes your jaw just literally aint big enough and they shove all your other teeth out of alignment, their roots can also grow too close to the nerve running along your jaw that provides feeling to the entire lower half of your face and if they intersect with that nerve then you can lose all feeling in your lower jaw and mouth.
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Aug 1, 2013 05:25
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bman in 2288 posted:We are all terrible people, Chip. They're the outermost molars and for some reason or another, our jaws are generally too small for them. So they usually get impacted (i.e. there isn't any room for them to grow out of the gums), and have to be removed because of that. Otherwise they could damage the other teeth, or get infected because that shits way back there and hard to clean. Neruz posted:Wisdom teeth aren't so much 'pulled' anymore as they are drilled into tiny chunks and removed piece by piece. If you get a local the experience is totally surreal. True that. You can't feel the pain but you can feel all the taps and vibrations. Weird but not thoroughly unpleasant. Ariong fucked around with this message at 05:31 on Aug 1, 2013 |
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Aug 1, 2013 05:28
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ChaosArgate posted:I think that if they grow at a bad angle, they can do nasty things to your non-wisdom teeth. Yeah, in addition to what Neruz mentioned, they can come in at kind of a diagonal and impact and grind holes into the backs of your molars. It really, really sucks. I speak from experience. 
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Aug 1, 2013 05:28
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Ariong posted:True that. You can't feel the pain but you can feel all the taps and vibrations. Weird but not thoroughly unpleasant. And the whole time a little animal part of your subconscious is shouting at you "THIS SHOULD HURT WHY DOESNT THIS HURT HOLY CRAP THIS SHOULD REALLY BE HURTING WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU THEYRE CRUSHING YOUR TEETH WHY CANT YOU FEEL THIS HOLY CRAP DID YOU JUST HEAR THAT CRACK THAT WAS YOUR TOOTH WHY ARENT YOU SCREAMING IN PAIN YOU FOOL" It was extremely disconcerting; I've never felt anything quite like it.
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Aug 1, 2013 05:35
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Neruz posted:And the whole time a little animal part of your subconscious is shouting at you "THIS SHOULD HURT WHY DOESNT THIS HURT HOLY CRAP THIS SHOULD REALLY BE HURTING WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU THEYRE CRUSHING YOUR TEETH WHY CANT YOU FEEL THIS HOLY CRAP DID YOU JUST HEAR THAT CRACK THAT WAS YOUR TOOTH WHY ARENT YOU SCREAMING IN PAIN YOU FOOL" Um, I never, uh, got that.  Maybe because it was some other tooth rather than a wisdom tooth?
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Aug 1, 2013 05:38
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Y'know, this got me thinking... I heard of some old lady getting a lower jaw transplant for some reason or another, but they created a titanium jaw just for her, turning her into a technical definition of "cyborg". So you know what, Chip? Go all the way. Get a titanium jaw. Become a cyborg. Make the commentary even more meta than it is now. It'll be awesome. For us.
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Aug 1, 2013 05:40
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Spiritus Nox posted:Bland Villains. Bland Villains?! When I read that I thought "well, maybe, he means that their personalities and goals aren't really unique or memorable" which is a totally fair criticism so far. Nope, he thinks lady covered in arms and the dude who exists in a dozen pieces is boring design.
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Aug 1, 2013 05:44
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bman in 2288 posted:Y'know, this got me thinking... I heard of some old lady getting a lower jaw transplant for some reason or another, but they created a titanium jaw just for her, turning her into a technical definition of "cyborg". But can she Ninja Run?
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Aug 1, 2013 05:45
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bman in 2288 posted:Y'know, this got me thinking... I heard of some old lady getting a lower jaw transplant for some reason or another, but they created a titanium jaw just for her, turning her into a technical definition of "cyborg". Failing that, grip your lower jaw tightly whenever you speak for the rest of the LP.
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Aug 1, 2013 05:45
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Neruz posted:And the whole time a little animal part of your subconscious is shouting at you "THIS SHOULD HURT WHY DOESNT THIS HURT HOLY CRAP THIS SHOULD REALLY BE HURTING WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU THEYRE CRUSHING YOUR TEETH WHY CANT YOU FEEL THIS HOLY CRAP DID YOU JUST HEAR THAT CRACK THAT WAS YOUR TOOTH WHY ARENT YOU SCREAMING IN PAIN YOU FOOL" Wait, you're not supposed to feel it? I guess I'm just resistant to anaesthetics 
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Aug 1, 2013 05:45
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pandaK posted:Wait, you're not supposed to feel it? The pain specifically. If you can feel pain then you should alert your dentist so that they can administer a different local anesthetic or, failing that, knock you out.
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Aug 1, 2013 05:47
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Neruz posted:And the whole time a little animal part of your subconscious is shouting at you "THIS SHOULD HURT WHY DOESNT THIS HURT HOLY CRAP THIS SHOULD REALLY BE HURTING WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU THEYRE CRUSHING YOUR TEETH WHY CANT YOU FEEL THIS HOLY CRAP DID YOU JUST HEAR THAT CRACK THAT WAS YOUR TOOTH WHY ARENT YOU SCREAMING IN PAIN YOU FOOL" Getting eye surgery kinda feels like that. They slice a bit of your eye off, a bit right in front of your seeing hole, with an electric saw that sounds exactly like an electric saw (which is not something you want an electric saw to sound like, at least not when it's slicing your eye), and you realize that it should feel like a torturous death, but instead it feels like clumsily removing a contact, and your mind is all weirded out. And then they shoot lasers at your eyeball, your cornea evaporates and it smells like bacon.
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Aug 1, 2013 06:06
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CordlessPen posted:Getting eye surgery kinda feels like that. They slice a bit of your eye off, a bit right in front of your seeing hole, with an electric saw that sounds exactly like an electric saw (which is not something you want an electric saw to sound like, at least not when it's slicing your eye), and you realize that it should feel like a torturous death, but instead it feels like clumsily removing a contact, and your mind is all weirded out. My mind is weirded out just reading that. Eye surgery isn't painful? I'd freak out if I consciously knew someone was taking a saw to my eye.
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Aug 1, 2013 06:11
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