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my dad posted:
 Miralukan's look creepy without their visors. Between her and the Jedi lady, I hope the Smuggler's Tatooine story turns into a Betty and Veronica-esque romantic farce.
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Sep 1, 2013 11:52
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Inferior posted:Between her and the Jedi lady, I hope the Smuggler's Tatooine story turns into a Betty and Veronica-esque romantic farce. I'm pretty sure that's how the Smuggler's meant to think things are going, at least. The Jedi has the sex drive of a bowl of rice and Darth Tanktop probably takes after the preying mantis.
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Sep 2, 2013 09:00
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Glazius posted:I'm pretty sure that's how the Smuggler's meant to think things are going, at least. The Jedi has the sex drive of a bowl of rice and Darth Tanktop probably takes after the preying mantis. Yeah, see, I know this has probably already been debated ad nauseum by countless neckbeards all over the globe, but how exactly do the Jedi and Sith keep up their numbers? I mean, if the Jedi aren't really supposed to have relationships and they suppress their libido with the Force or whatever and the Sith are one glass of spoiled milk away from murdering everyone in their extended family, how do they keep any kind of numbers at all? Theoretically, they would continue conscripting force sensitives from every race for their respective camps, but wouldn't that eventually just lead to the eventual extinction of force sensitives through natural selection?
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Sep 2, 2013 16:31
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Dooky Dingo posted:Yeah, see, I know this has probably already been debated ad nauseum by countless neckbeards all over the globe, but how exactly do the Jedi and Sith keep up their numbers? I mean, if the Jedi aren't really supposed to have relationships and they suppress their libido with the Force or whatever and the Sith are one glass of spoiled milk away from murdering everyone in their extended family, how do they keep any kind of numbers at all? As noted the Jedi aren't discouraged from making little baby Jedi, they're just discouraged from giving a gently caress about said baby Jedi or the other person required for their creation.
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Sep 2, 2013 16:33
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My understanding is that anyone can be force sensitive, so Jedi normally travel around in part to keep the peace, fight for justice etc. and the other part is to look for force sensitive children and then convince their parents to ship them off to Jedi school.Feinne posted:As noted the Jedi aren't discouraged from making little baby Jedi, they're just discouraged from giving a gently caress about said baby Jedi or the other person required for their creation.  It's not the stupidest thing Lucas ever came up with, but I'd say it's up there.
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Sep 2, 2013 22:55
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Dooky Dingo posted:Yeah, see, I know this has probably already been debated ad nauseum by countless neckbeards all over the globe, but how exactly do the Jedi and Sith keep up their numbers? I mean, if the Jedi aren't really supposed to have relationships and they suppress their libido with the Force or whatever and the Sith are one glass of spoiled milk away from murdering everyone in their extended family, how do they keep any kind of numbers at all? Well, while force sensitivity is kinda sorta genetic, it isn't JUST genetic apparently (at least if you buy the Jedi thing that the Force chooses who is sensitive); if it was just tracking down relatives it'd probably be easier for the Jedi to find them. Wouldn't be mandatory testing at birth for everyone if it was that simple at least. Even if a Jedi/Sith ancestor was required somewhere in the family tree, given we're talking about millennia of existence for both here even the rare outlier Jedi/Sith who spawns can have hundreds or even thousands of descendents after enough generations. But Force sensitives are ridiculously rare anyway; the Jedi at the height of their power were a few thousand out of trillions of trillions of beings in the known galaxy. There was no "keeping up their numbers" to begin with really. Alacron posted:
I dunno, the take home message I've gotten from the movies was this whole "shun attachment" thing was in fact the mistake that killed the old Jedi off. It took Luke embracing attachment in defiance of Obi-Wan and Yoda (who fairly straight up told him to kill Vader) to win the day in the end. I think it's significant the very end of Return is Luke going to join his friends and family; I don't get an impression of somebody who's going to retreat to an ivory tower and meditate there. Let's face it, the whole business of avoiding attachment boils down pretty much due to fear of screwing it up, and doing something out of fear is hardly a smart move for the Jedi, is it?
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Sep 2, 2013 23:56
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Yeah, pretty much everything about the Jedi is stupid.
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Sep 3, 2013 01:31
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MadDogMike posted:Well, while force sensitivity is kinda sorta genetic, it isn't JUST genetic apparently (at least if you buy the Jedi thing that the Force chooses who is sensitive); if it was just tracking down relatives it'd probably be easier for the Jedi to find them. Wouldn't be mandatory testing at birth for everyone if it was that simple at least. Even if a Jedi/Sith ancestor was required somewhere in the family tree, given we're talking about millennia of existence for both here even the rare outlier Jedi/Sith who spawns can have hundreds or even thousands of descendents after enough generations. But Force sensitives are ridiculously rare anyway; the Jedi at the height of their power were a few thousand out of trillions of trillions of beings in the known galaxy. There was no "keeping up their numbers" to begin with really. Don't be silly, a few thousand Jedi are plenty. After all, the grand army of the republic was only 1,200,000 clones and that was enough to fight a galactic scale war! Never mind that the population of one single city-covered planet like Coruscant is somewhere on the order of hundreds of trillions (100,000,000,000,000).
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Sep 3, 2013 02:33
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Doctor Reynolds posted:Yeah, pretty much everything about the Jedi is stupid. This sums it up pretty well... 
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Sep 3, 2013 02:37
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i81icu812 posted:Don't be silly, a few thousand Jedi are plenty. After all, the grand army of the republic was only 1,200,000 clones and that was enough to fight a galactic scale war! Never mind that the population of one single city-covered planet like Coruscant is somewhere on the order of hundreds of trillions (100,000,000,000,000). 1 trillion exactly. Coruscant is stupid. Nevermind that it'd take a billion starships a DAY to bring in enough food for everyone.
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Sep 3, 2013 03:03
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PoptartsNinja posted:1 trillion exactly. Coruscant is stupid. At only 1 trillion the population density would be way lower than any major Earth city, let alone for hundreds of floors of buildings. It really should be on the order of hundreds or thousands of trillions, if not more. And a million starships a day would probably be enough. Don't take my word for it, someone else did the math! https://www.theforce.net/swtc/astro.html#coruscant
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Sep 3, 2013 03:18
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PoptartsNinja posted:Nevermind that it'd take a billion starships a DAY to bring in enough food for everyone. Wasn't there a star wars webcomic that said pretty much this and other things along those lines?
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Sep 3, 2013 03:22
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Brainamp posted:Wasn't there a star wars webcomic that said pretty much this and other things along those lines? Darths & Droids, #126. ...I have a hobby. So sue me.
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Sep 3, 2013 03:45
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i81icu812 posted:At only 1 trillion the population density would be way lower than any major Earth city, let alone for hundreds of floors of buildings. It really should be on the order of hundreds or thousands of trillions, if not more. And a million starships a day would probably be enough. Don't take my word for it, someone else did the math! Cannibalism, the only thing keeping Coruscant going.
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Sep 3, 2013 03:54
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If they'd gotten off their asses and invented the replicator already, they wouldn't have this problem! Alternatively the reason the population is just a trillion people is most of the planet-city is housing for massive hydroponic farms. Actually if you'll recall when Jolune did the Gree's quests on Coruscant, a lot of Coruscant does seem dedicated to huge infrastructure, so that might not be entirely impossible. Edit: As usual, the real answer is Star Wars cares not for your logistical concerns!
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Sep 3, 2013 04:26
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Ablative posted:Darths & Droids, #126. This webcomic unironically owns. I love it, and I've never even played dungeons and dragons.
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Sep 3, 2013 05:13
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Ablative posted:Darths & Droids, #126. 
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Sep 3, 2013 19:49
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Oh, even better, if Wookiepedia can be believed that one trillion figure, which doesn't count transients or people in orbit, is actually a third of the total population actually there at one time. I'll grant they mention LOTS of hydroponics, and there's at least one more habitable world in the same solar system plus who knows how many orbital farms that probably help, but yeahSynthOrange posted:Cannibalism, the only thing keeping Coruscant going. is about what I'M starting to suspect would be required. Who knew backbiting politics was literal? Might explain the huge number of "transients" too, as well as how the Mon Calamari got their name (insert "it's a trap!" joke here).
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Sep 4, 2013 02:00
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 ##Begin Log## Captain’s Log, entry #048 Stardate: A brisk detour Sorry Risha! Just one more stop before Diago's, I swear. Trust me though, you're gonna want to hear this one.  I'd stopped in this little canyon town called Salara for a fuel-up when I overheard some locals talking about their troubles. Seems like it was a little more than sand in the vaporators this time, though. Recommended for one man's woe https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEWh-geylC8  quote:Militiaman Tonn: But you're a hero, Raith! Those supplies you've snuck back to us are the only reason we've lasted this long – don't give up now!  Pirates are the natural predator of the smuggler (well, them and bounty hunters), so I've always got an ear for when they're causing somebody trouble. quote:Militiaman Tonn: Pirates think that just because Tatooine is off the beaten path, they can do whatever they want here. Pretty typical for your yellow-bellied pirate. They like giving themselves like Bloodgut or Bonecrusher, but first chance they get they go after people who can't fight back.  Raith's story is just the sort of thing that brings out my charitable spirit. He's not a seasoned space adventurer, just a miner – a working-class hero kinda guy. Dealing with pirates is way above his paygrade, but lately it's been my bread and butter. Besides, Bowdaar hadn't given out a righteous beating in whole hours and was getting antsy. Best he gets those jitters out before we meet with the famously twitchy crime boss. quote:Quinine: I could deal with these pirates for you. I have had pratice.  Might be the only way I'd get paid on a job like this, so sure. Raith told us the hostages had a secret tracker we could use to find them and pointed us in the right direction. Another rescue mission underway.  We snuck on up the canyon cliffs next to Salara, up to where the old mines are. Looks like the pirates had taken them over – probably what Tonn had been talking about. Claim-jumping on the galactic frontier must be a nightmare.  We did our part to cut down on the local pirate crews while trying to figure out where they were keeping Raith's loved ones. At first I'd figured they'd be in some kinda big warehouse or HQ, the sort of place you could keep prisoners locked up, but the tracker took us to a little out-of-the-way guardhouse.  The guards there were no more ready for us than the ones outside. Like I said, pirates get used to picking on people who can't fight back. They wouldn't be out in the middle of the Tatooine desert, stealing dirt from settlers if they could hold their own.  The tracker took us right to the back. We'd cleared the whole building and still no sign of a prison. There was a footlocker, though. I started worrying then, since if the pirates had found the tracker then saving Raith's loved ones might be a hard promise to keep.  What we found inside, though, was nothing we'd expected...   Ayup. Little toy droids, no bigger than your hand. A full set, old but well cared for, in all shapes and sizes. What could we do? I hauled them out and carried them back with us for Raith.  quote:Quinine: Here you go – not a scratch on them.  Men are strange things. Leave one of us out in the desert long enough, digging in the ground, without a pretty girl or a decent drink for a thousand miles in any direction, well... we can get even stranger. I saw it all the time in the army, and most guys went in for stranger stuff than some toys. I'm not one to judge, we all find our ways to cope. Mine's killing scumbag pirates, so me and Raith are square. Okay, next stop Diago's summer palace. I promise! ##End Log##
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Sep 6, 2013 02:38
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Quinine's a better man than I. Every time I complete that mission...WHAMMO!
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Sep 6, 2013 22:12
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Those pirates stole a man's action figure collection, and then tried to ransom them back to him. It's goon-on-goon violence really.
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Sep 6, 2013 22:49
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My laptop's power supply is buggered. I've got about a half hour of charge on the battery, then after that it's lights out until I get it fixed. This might put a crimp on my update or even just general posting schedule, so just a heads-up. My fellow LPers have things well in hand, I believe, should I be unavailable.
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Sep 7, 2013 02:10
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Inferior posted:Those pirates stole a man's action figure collection, and then tried to ransom them back to him. It's goon-on-goon violence really. Quin should have introduced him to one of the ladies on his tail, try to break the nerd cycle.
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Sep 7, 2013 06:01
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Due to real life kicking me in the balls I haven't had much time to update lately. But rest assured I'm still around and should hopeefully have an update ready soon.
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Sep 8, 2013 01:40
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Hey, it's time for more Heroic Mission action. I'm posting these cause Dolash is experiencing technical difficulties. Heroic Grindhouse: Two Adventures for the Price of One! Part 1: "The Long Goodbye" Dreviad Cantina, Dreviad, Tatooine, Last Friday... or was it last Thursday... maybe Wednesday?   : ...and he was all "There is no light! I'm full of evil!". Then I said: "Don't judge every man by your own weakness", and kicked him in the crotch. : There's a common theme to all your stories, isn't there? Still, that was a pretty brave thing to do.: Well, I try. So, what have you been up to lately?: Usual crazy Master stuff. Oh, and I got lost in the desert for a few weeks. That was fun.: Guess Jedi tricks come in handy in situations like that. You don't even look any thi-- I mean, you look... healthy! Very healthy. Which is good!: ...: ...I... er... Have you met my Wookiee friend before?  : Hello, little Jedi.: Hello... Um, this is my friend, Qyzen. : ...: Smuggler... Wookiee.: Slaver.: No slaver. I kill Wookies I fight.: …: ...: Uh... Bowdaar? Stay cool, buddy.: ...: ...: ...: Sorry to interrupt the staring contest, but- : THE SITH EMPIRE DEMANDS YOUR OBEDIENCE!  : It's the Empire! Run!: What? Here? : Really, Lieutenant?: What's the point of being in the military if you can't put the fear of God into civvies from time to time?: Hello, Todessa. : Why are you dressed like that? Is there an Imperial Ren Faire on or something? : It was a …gift. It’s armor from a time when most soldiers weren’t backwater farmers with guns in their hands. Anyway, what’s our job here?: We need to wait for R'andayn first.: Oh, she sent me a message. Here it is... : “Attention losers, I can't come to your tea party right now as I need to stop the planet blowing up. I'll be along in a while, assuming we're not all dead by then. Laters.” *bzzt*: ...: She’s in charge of stopping the planet from blowing up? Her? Really?: It'll be fine. Probably.: ...No point worrying about it now, I guess. Alright, we’ve got two missions this time - there's a Gamorrean warlord out in the desert butchering the locals, and an occupied mine under the control of pirates.: We’re already short on time, so we’ll have to split up and hit both objectives at once. The Empire’s active on Tatooine, so each group should take a Jedi in case we run into any Sith.: You almost sounded like a soldier there, old man. So, out of us two, who gets Psycho Smurfette as their partner?: ...Flip you for it? : Heads: And it's.... aw, goddammit.: Good luck. Let's go kid. : C’mon! Best two outta three?: Better this way. Now Bowdaar will not have to tear the Trandoshan limb from limb.: You’re not helping, Bowdaar! : Funny. I thought he would've tried to rig that coin toss.: Oh, he did. I just used the Force to rig it the other way.: Why? You don't seem the cheating kind.: Well... I think Quinine has trouble interacting with members of the opposite sex. And I think R'andayn could help him deal with that better than I could. It's for his own good.: ...This is one of those "We had to destroy the village in order to save it" deals, isn't it?: Pretty much, yes.Later...    : Can you believe it? Not a bleeding one.: Great. Our contact is a Space Cockney.: Course, why would you fight when all it buys you is an empty grave? When you know no one's coming back for the corpses?: Whose corpses? Did someone die?: Fifteen boys, killed by that sadistic Gamorrean warlord Takor the Terrible, and not one man stands up to lead the rescue.: Difficult to rescue the dead. : Gaping maw in the ground, surrounded by teeth and tentacles. Takor tosses in enemies, live, and the Sarlacc digests them for a thousand years. A long, painful death.: I would not stand aside while men suffer needlessly.: Then get on out there, Master Jedi. Because our boys need a friend like you.:You want to help them, drop these grenades into the Sarlacc's mouth. They'll poison anything left alive in there-- a painless death.  : That guy's a piece of work. Calling other people cowards for not fixing his world's problems, while not lifting a finger himself. The archetypal Republic citizen.: Some people aren't cut out for fighting.: Then they shouldn't bitch so much about the people that are.  : There it is. Tatooine's sandy vagina.:  :  :  : What? Look at it.: Ewww... I... No, let's not talk about the Sarlacc. What's the plan?: Same plan as always. Charge in and kill everything.    : Takor! And he has hostages!: Do not be distracted. Strike to kill.: You're alright, Trandoshan. Fire! : I love the smell of bacon in the morning. :  : Is it bad that I'm getting hungry? Killing Takor is actually a bonus objective for this mission- as Lapad said, all you have to do to complete the mission is drop the poison grenade into the Sarlacc. However, this is one of the rare occasions in SWTOR when completing a bonus objective changes the post mission dialogue, so let's fry this piggy before dropping the grenade.  : I've picked more dangerous things out of my teeth. This was a waste of time.: At least we saved the hostages. : Thanks for everything! Byeeeee!: ...Who are now running into the desert with no weapons or supplies.: I'm sure they'll be fine. Now, let's douche this vagina and go home.:  : What? : Frag out, sir. : *gurgle*: This is probably the weirdest mercy kill I've ever done. Want to say a few words, Jedi?: ...what is that smell? ...ugggh, I think I'm going to be sick...: And rest in peace and all that. Let's get out of here.SWTOR Codex posted:The Sarlacc  : Todessa?: Yes?: You're a Sith, right?: Yes...?: Who can't use the Force?: ...: Is... Is that why you left the Empire?: ...You’ll want to think about your next words very carefully.: R-right. Sorry.  : It was a breeze: Then I bow to you and whoever taught you besides... And my boys? Are they at peace?: Hopefully we've spared them before they suffered too much.: One day of torture like that is too long, still, it's better than a thousand years. I like to think they could hear that Gamorrean monster screaming right before they passed.: I wish we had you here for permanent. We'd get a few more enlisting if they knew someone like you had their backs. : Another successful mission for The Q Team!: The... what?: Quinine was telling me back at the cantina before you arrived. It's the callsign for our little group.: How on Coruscant did the Generals think that that would be a good name?: Something about plausible deniability, Quinine said.: Yeah, I guess the Empire wouldn't think we'd be that stupid. I hope R'andayn really does kill him now.To be concluded!
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Sep 8, 2013 21:48
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Okay, the cantina scene was pretty nice. What's "heroic" about that mission? The elite boss?
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Sep 9, 2013 01:38
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Glazius posted:Okay, the cantina scene was pretty nice. What's "heroic" about that mission? The elite boss? He was a "champion" mob, which is a step or two up from elites. Heroic missions are just missions with tougher mobs that need a group.
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Sep 9, 2013 06:14
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Ferrosol posted:Due to real life kicking me in the balls I haven't had much time to update lately. But rest assured I'm still around and should hopeefully have an update ready soon. It's that time of the year. Don't worry about it. Glazius posted:Okay, the cantina scene was pretty nice. What's "heroic" about that mission? The elite boss? Since that one was just a two-man job, it wasn't super "heroic". The four-man ones can get a bit ludicrous however.
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Sep 9, 2013 20:29
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To be fair, you did just drop in and kill Lord Humungous for the local desert-dwellers, it'd be a pretty heroic job for anyone who's not one of the galaxy's top commandos or a Jedi. Also, having a busted laptop does have upsides for my productivity - for example, I'm coming into the lab a lot more just to get access to the computers!
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Sep 10, 2013 01:35
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Heroic Grindhouse: The Mildly Exciting Conclusion Part 2: "Reap the Whirlwind" Dreviad Cantina, Dreviad, Tatooine, It Was Definitely Last Saturday.  : Well, maybe if we’re lucky she won’t show: I smell fear. Why do you worry? Jedi are soft talkers, not killers.: Well, this one might change your mind. She can be a real- : I sense fear. Quinine must be around here somewhere. : R’andayn! We were just talking about you.: I’ll bet. Ooh a wookiee! Does it do tricks?: Jedi is rude, for one so tiny.: Thanks!: And who’s your friend? Did the Jedi send someone to hold your leash? : Apprentice. She’s teaching me everything she knows.: You poor woman. You poor, poor... attractive... young woman... Hm.: ...Why are we working with this guy again?: Because someone has to. : I think that’s enough small-talk. Where are the others? I thought this was an official operation.: It is. Thing is, we’ve got two targets. Jolune and Todessa are after a Sarlaac. We’ve got a mineshaft.: Make one joke about your shaft and I’ll feed it to you. And so...  : Get your antique bucket of bolts moving! The sooner we reach Outpost Salara, the better!: This thing’s vintage, not some starship engine rigged up with a chair and a handbrake!: Blah blah blah. “Hello, I’m Quinine, the galaxy’s whiniest starship captain. Please leave me and my fruity speeder in the dust. Can you believe I thought this moustache was a good idea?” : Mando problem, R’andayn?: Rrrghrgh!: Looks like you’ve got it handled. See you in Salara! : Quinine! Slow down, already! I’m warning you!: Sorry, can’t hear you! Too busy asking the mayor about the pirate problem!: I swear, these nerf herders better be in mortal danger! : Hey! Where's the peril at? : Just one moment... this call is important.: Not a problem. It's not like the planet's going to explode or anything... OH WAIT. : How did I get stuck with this again?: The burden of the hero. : I’m sorry. Things have been a little tense, but nothing that should stop our friends in the Republic from enjoying their stay.: The Twin Suns pirates have been harassing us since the day I became mayor. And now they want to take our mine - ninety percent of this town works that mine!: Think of this as a lesson in acceptance.: Acceptance of what?: poo poo happens.: Hey, it may not seem like much, but we’ve made something of this wasteland! And now those gangsters want to steal it. : If you can finish what those mercs couldn’t, this town would be in your debt.: Consider me signed on.: I’ll let our citizens know you’re on it!: Just go to the mine and drive off the gangsters there. Put the scare on them, so they never come back. (YEAH TOAST!) : The SIS has us collecting rocks for yokels in the middle of nowhere.: Ours is not to wonder why.: Let’s go make some pirates fry. : Okay, maybe if we sneak up over the rocks we could… charge straight in head-first.: We’re on the clock here! They’re only pirates, anyway.: Why does no-one in this outfit ever listen to my plans? I do good plans. : Little Jedi are getting all of the kills before Bowdaar can even reach his foes!: Learn to Force Leap. Or get a jetpack.: Sorry, Bowdaar, your fur’s not flame-retardant. : Okay, the men outside were just off-duty pirate miners. The actual Baroban warehouse’s going to have heavy droids and real guards.: What the hell’s "Baroban"?: No idea, but we’re killing people over it so it’s gotta be useful for something.: I think I remember reading it’s used in toothpaste.: Preserving the Republic's minty fresh breath is actually a pretty good reason to kill all these guys. : Would you quit it with the all-ahead-full? Some of these blaster bolts sting!: What’s the matter, afraid a few blaster burns will ruin your pretty face? Ha! Sarcasm.: That was low, Jedi.: Not as low as your kill-count. Ha! Double burn! : Is she like this all the time?: Not all the time. Sometimes she's asleep.: You know she’s gonna get you killed one of these days.: You’d be surprised at how good she’s been at keeping me alive.: I don't know how she keeps herself alive, never mind you.: Hey, slackers! Less prevaricating, more incinerating!: Did you have to look that one up? : Okay, I know you’re tough as nails, but the medscanner’s reporting fractures, burns, lacerations…: Just another day - ooph! - in the Jedi Order!: At least take some painkillers!: Pain is for the weak.: How are you a Jedi?: The Sith don’t offer scholarships. : They’re all dead. Let’s take a time out.: Bunch of losers. I barely broke a sweat.: Bowdaar thinks he may have broken some ribs.: Rub some sand on it, big guy. We just need the ore and we can get out of here. : To the victors go the soils. Great.: Well, at least now that it’s over we can get out of here instead of - oh, what now?   : But at least he’ll know I held up my end of the bargain.: I cannot allow that to happen. Good plan, though - hey Quinine, after we kill these guys, do you think you could sell the ore ourselves? Bet you know some gangsters in need of toothpaste.: We're not selling it.: What sort of smuggler are you supposed to be?: An honest one?: But... You're a criminal? I mean, doesn't tha- : Hey! I was in the middle of threatening you!: Oh, don't mind us. We'll settle this later.: That’s assuming you’ll be alive…: My boys’ll back me up. I was the one who single-handedly cleared the Twin Suns from the mine, right? : Now things are getting interesting. : If by interesting, you mean huge.: The bigger the better.: ... I--: Don't. : Take cover!(Not pictured: The giant droid opens fire and breaks the hell out of Bull “The Unbreakable” and his lackeys) :  : While it’s reloading! We can-: No! No. Just, give me two seconds here. I can use a remote signal to force Clanky into a reboot cycle. Then we can take apart the backup before he comes back online.: I think this is one of those “plans” we keep hearing about.: Eh, fine. We’ll do it your way with the thing used on the thing. : It’s shut down! Now take out the security droids!: Huh… I guess this is a little bit easier.: See? We must be getting shot at at least half as much, maybe less. : The main event’s waking up.: But his backup’s scrap and we’re within his minimum range. We got this one in the bag. : Hmm. Huh. Okay, maybe you’re not total dead weight.: And maybe you’re not completely crazy.: Who knew?: Yeah, well, don’t expect a hug. Come on, let’s tell the dirt-miners they’ve got their precious Baroban back.  : I hope you’ve made sure that’s true?: I hit some turbulence, but I worked things out.: Oh, thank goodness! I don’t know what I would have done if this had gone public.: The good citizens of Tatooine thank you for your service. : Is he still talking? Mission’s over, don’t care. : Well, it’s been an experience. Good luck keeping the planet from exploding.: Thanks. Good luck smuggling…. whatever it is you actually smuggle, I guess?: Sure, let’s go with that.FIN Coming Soon: A Nightmare World Ruled by the Empire! A Hidden Fortress Within The Void! A Sinister Mastermind in the Shadows! Can The Q-Team Pull Off Their Most Daring Mission Yet?!?! "THE JEDI PRISONER" Coming Q4 2013.... IN 3-D!* *Not actually in 3-D Inferior fucked around with this message at 20:23 on Sep 11, 2013 |
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Sep 11, 2013 20:21
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What does Quin smuggle anyway? I realize his captivating presence has been classified as a banned substance in three star systems, but I mean besides that.
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Sep 12, 2013 02:53
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He's really more of a "Free Captain" most of the time, doing deals and odd-jobs, it's just that occasionally those jobs involve the movement and sale of goods that would get one into trouble with authorities. For reference, when Quinine got his ship back, Risha had it hauling an endangered jungle-cat, an antique droid, a preserved head and a man frozen in carbonite. Customs officials like Agent Soganti might raise an eyebrow to that, if he hadn't probably died when Mort blew up the spaceport. Oh, and I'm just as surprised as the rest of you that Quinine survived his partnership with R'andayn. I'd started leveling another smuggler and everything.
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Sep 12, 2013 03:33
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Dolash posted:Customs officials like Agent Soganti might raise an eyebrow to that, if he hadn't probably died when Mort blew up the spaceport. It's not Mort's fault the first response of the Jedi who realized "Darth Gravus is going to have his underlings do something incredibly stupid and shortsighted" was to send wave after wave of anyone who could hold a gun charging straight at two Sith with lightsabers. 
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Sep 12, 2013 04:19
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 CHAPTER 38: TOUCHDOWN ON ALDERAAN Previously posted:JOLUNE MOL'NEUX travels to the wartorn world of ALDERAAN in search of the final missing Master. Meanwhile, THARAN CEDRAX has received an enigmatic package...  [VIDEO: Private Time]  : I finally get that blasted capsule's lock open, and the letter inside? Pure gibberish. : Jedi, you can make this all better, can't you?: I got a D- in cryptography so... I guess I could just make you some tea? Tea helps, right?: Listen to this: “A, H, three, two, O, S, H, four...” And that's just one line!: Sounds like droid poetry. Maybe you've attracted a mechanical admirer.: I know my limits, Jedi. : beeep : And the letter itself smells strange. I thought it was the capsule. But what if applying the chemical to the letter had some effect?: We'll never know if we don't try.: Spoken like a true scientist : I'll get started right away! *bzzt*: At last, an answer. However do you do it? Your very presence sparks my inspiration. : I will not hear a lovely woman denigrate her gifts.:  : Let me express my gratitude properly. In private, perhaps.: ...I don't think so. Besides, you have a chemical to synthesize. So, yeah, that was Tharan inviting us for sex times, which he does even if you haven't picked any of the [Flirt] options when talking with him. Ever the optimist, I guess. Despite that, Tharan isn't a true romance option for a lady Jedi, as Holiday gets upset if you do sleep with him and he breaks up with you in the very next conversation to keep from hurting her further. Also because she electrifies his bed for revenge. Unlike pretty much every other one night stand a Jedi can have in SWTOR, going with Tharan gives you no Dark Side points.  18,839 AWKWARD PARSECS LATER...     : Until recently, Alderaan was a part of the Republic. Today, it's on the brink of collapse. : Sounds like a rough place to be. Who am I looking for?: Master Sidonie Garen, one of the Jedi Order's finest strategists and diplomats, dropped out of contact while on Alderaan.: Ooh! Ooh, I know the next part. “Her last message was about the darkness, and now there's rumours that she's raising an army to destroy the enemies of the Republic and/or everything else.” Am I close?: No. Nothing like that.: But... But... there was a pattern... Aww man, I owe Tharan 50 credits now. She's at least stopped talking to the Council, right?: She's made contact since but was evasive about her silence. : People can have reasons for being evasive besides the Plague of Evil. I mean... she's on a planet full of dashing noblemen in tight trousers...: Yes, well... : I won't let that happen.: Master Sidonie was working with the head of House Organa's diplomatic corps, Hallam Organa.  : How are you at diplomatic functions, Qyzen?: Never been to any. Advice?: Um... Don't talk about politics or religion or history. They start arguments. : Right. : Don't talk about pop culture or sports or fashion either. Makes you seem shallow. : OK. : Might want to avoid talking about science or technology or droids as well. People find them boring.: Talk about hunting? Is exciting!: No! Absolutely not. Too violent.: What do people talk about at these things then?: Nothing. As much nothing as possible.: ...This is what Jedi do for fun, yes?: Sometimes there are canapés.   : Castle Organa... I think they're compensating for something.  : This is where the diplomatic corps live. You'd think they'd be able to negotiate themselves a less ugly building. [VIDEO: Super Diplomacy Bros]   : Please, Hallam. You do yourself an injustice. Your age gives you a stately difference. : If I wasn't wearing my extra years around my waist, I might agree. Now, Jedi, how can I help you?: I'm looking for Master Sidonie Garen. I believe she may be ill.: Hmm. She seemed fine last I spoke with her. : What's so strange about having a peace summit?: Basically, we're the Westeros of Space.: Ah. The perfect place for a... perfectly sane... Jedi Master like Sidonie Garen.: I'll call her. The location of the summit is a secret for obvious reasons, but I'm sure she'd welcome your assistance. : The Jedi Council sent me to help with the peace process. : You're Master Yuon's student, aren't you? It's wonderful the Council sent you to assist me, but this is a very delicate process with no place for a Padawan.:   : Only official representatives of the houses may attend the summit. What would the other houses think if another Jedi from House Organa showed up?: How can you be organising the conference and representing one of the houses? : And I don't have time to debate. If you'll excuse me. *bzzt*: Master Sidonie! I'm sorry, Jedi. That's really not like her.: All the more reason why I need to get into that summit. : Unfortunately, Organa's representative is already there: Hal, House Teral-- you know, with the beautiful daughter-- couldn't our Jedi friend represent them?: Huh! My brother is a genius. House Teral is desperate for a representative, but the usurper Ulgo destroyed their hopes. : Hopefully House Teral can find use for me.: I'm sure they will. They are in dire straits.: You'll find Lord Teral in his house's last holdings, an enclave near Ulgo lands and Kilik nests. I will let him know you're coming. : ”Insect-men” ...I don't like the sounds of this.  Alderaan is rather pretty, though all the flaws enumerated in the Empire thread hold true for the Republic side. It's just too big, and getting to and from quest areas is a pain in the rear end. Also, Kiliks.  : Is this House Teral?: Probably. Have painted giant T's on their walls. : Hello? I'm here about the diplomatic job? : Kill her!: Not a good start. New Power! FORCEQUAAAAAAAAKE!!! The Jedi Sage's weak point up to now has been the lack of AoE attack options. They have their knockback blast ability (Force Wave), which does little damage, and damage-specialising Sage's get a unique multi-target attack power; but fighting packs of enemies has often been slow going due to the need to whittle each one down individually. Not any more! Forcequake hits everything in a big area, and can knockdown normal enemies, and can be spammed indefinitely as long as you've got the Force points. Hurray! The weaknesses are that it doesn't actually do much damage, and in a meta sense it's so satisfying to use that many pubbies will spam it constantly in group content, even when it's a really bad idea (such as when fighting bosses).   Enemies keep spawning in during this section, which is a nice way of upping the tempo. Once you've killed enough they stop.  : Diplomacy more fun than expected.: The Force was with us. : A Jedi? I can't believe-- I thought those Ulgos had us pinned for sure. : Have you been hurt?: It's not me I'm worried about. I don't think this is over yet. For Ulgo, that was a pretty paltry force. : Let's get to it, shall we? NEXT TIME: We meet the least popular man on Alderaan, and his lovely daughter. BONUS CODEX CONTENT: House Teral posted:Closely related to the royal House Panteer, House Teral enjoyed several generations of growth and prosperity through trade and its connections to the royal family. Unsurprisingly, House Teral’s troubles began after House Ulgo usurped the throne and effectively obliterated House Panteer. Seeing that House Teral’s trade fortune could allow its Panteer cousins to rebuild, House Ulgo began a campaign against Teral’s holdings and property. King Bouris Ulgo used his influence to shatter House Teral’s trading contacts and forced Teral–never a military house–to raise massive armies to face Ulgo attacks. Today, harried and nearly bankrupt, House Teral is a shadow of its formerly prosperous self. The last straw was the recent death of its diplomatic delegate. Although officially judged an accident, no one is fooled; it is clear that House Ulgo will be satisfied with nothing less than Teral’s utter destruction. Inferior fucked around with this message at 21:56 on Mar 1, 2014 |
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Sep 14, 2013 19:43
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Tharan's a cheeky little bugger, isn't he? Why I can hardly imagine someone being so brazen as to ask a Jedi out for a one night stand! And that Westeros comparison is dead on, Alderaan definitely feels like the writers wanted to crowbar in some ASOIAF into their Star Wars game.
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Sep 14, 2013 20:00
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Calling it now, the Jedi's been bugged.
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Sep 14, 2013 21:30
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##Begin Log## Captain’s Log, entry #049 Stardate: Out of frying pan, enroute to fire  We found Diago’s “summer palace” easy enough – you could see it from Salara, built up on top of the canyon wall. Every settler we saw on the way warned us to turn back. Seems like Diago’s got a bit of a reputation.  The place was just as impressive on the inside. Built to withstand a siege, it was a fully-fortified compound with vaporators and power generators.  Not to mention Diago’s private army of bruisers and plenty of heavy gear.  If he’d wanted to, Diago had enough muscle to be king of every settler in a thousand miles. He could’ve brought Anchorhead to its knees, but instead he hides himself away. I never thought a hermit could run a criminal empire.  I figured Diago’d be waiting for us in the palace, or maybe Tookreek’d be outside his chambers waiting for the fang. Turns out I was in for a bit of a surprise.  quote:Tookreek: I’m deeply impressed with how you handled those Geonosians, Captain.  Is it “wise sayings about Jedi and Sith” day, or something? Hold on, I’ve got one – “The best lies are ones the teller believes to be true”. How’d that sound? quote:Tookreek: Let’s hope the Jedi from my club puts the Sith out of our misery. He’s got a whole palace, an army of thugs scared to death of him, and where does he spend his time? A cave. That’s some committed misanthropy.   quote:Brazzer: They’re tearing us apart - breaching the security doors! Agh!  I can see how Tookreek survived working for Diago for so long, but I can’t say I was looking forward to fighting my way through an Imperial ambush either. quote:Quinine: You’re gonna leave me to clean this up?  Tookreek’s share of the fame is dropping all the time.  Not much time to cuss him out, though. Imperial commandos were rolling straight through the front door, pasting any of Diago’s gang who didn’t turn tail and run.  Normally an Imperial commando unit is a death sentence for cornered gangsters and the like, but me and Bowdaar have a lot of experience with death sentences at this point.  We were almost out the front gates when I heard something go off. A comm buzzer sounds a lot like a jury-rigged bomb detonator, so forgive my jumpiness. Turns out someone was just trying to give me a call. Guess who?  Ayup. Vaverone got tired of playing games with her Geonosians and decided to play rough. quote:Quinine: I just shot a few of your pals. Hope you don’t mind. If Bowdaar and Tookreek knowing better than me weren’t reason enough, getting beaten over the head by an Imperial commando team did the trick. No matter how hot she is, she’s a Sith Lord. Don’t make deals with sexy, sexy devils.  quote:Vaverone Zare: I’m afraid I have no choice but to order my soldiers to kill you.  Believe me, this isn’t how I wanted this to end, and not just because me and Bowdaar were staring down a few squads of the Empire’s finest. Even a womanizing scoundrel has to show restraint from time to time. Oh, also I guess maybe she’s planning on doing something evil with that box. The one Diago has, I mean.  We got outside only to see the whole palace’d been overrun. Diago’s gang still had some combat droids up trying to hold the courtyard, but…  Well, the Empire’s got a reputation for being thorough.  Me and Bowdaar made sure to stay as close as we could to the commandos. Most of them weren’t ready for a brawl anyway, and it meant a few fewer shells landing on our heads.  I can’t remember where along the way I started seeing an Imperial hit-squad as a challenge instead of certain death, but I’m not complaining. All these Imperial entanglements is the job’s biggest perk. If only they carried more credits on them…  We were making our break for the canyon before Vaverone could call up another wave of mooks, only to spot a familiar face fight her way past the commandos guarding the gate.  Looks like everybody’s favorite naïve Jedi got a late invite to the party. I don’t know how she heard about it, but I wasn’t complaining either. quote:Quinine: I need some Jedi healing, right away.  Now that’s the good stuff. Nariel’s topped my list for Jedi healing action (Sorry, Jolune!) – she even cleared up my canker sore and that one rash. quote:Quinine: What do you say we do that some more? The Sith’d already shown she could snuff me with a wave of her hand. I figured at this point, if Vaverone’s going to be on my tail I’ll want Nariel close by to take her out.  quote:Nariel Pridence: I don’t suppose you’d know anything about my enemy’s present whereabouts? Yeah, Nariel, I know. I just told you that! quote:Nariel Pridence: Stay here. When I confront Zare, it will be a horrific battle. You won’t want to be around.  It’s cute she thinks she’s got to protect me like that, a Jedi in shining armor looking out for all us little people. I’ve dug too much sand out of my boots to turn back now, though. Time to find the Lightspring and get Diago’s sensor computer, no matter how many beautiful women stand in my way! ##End Log##
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Sep 14, 2013 21:37
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Dolash posted:And that Westeros comparison is dead on, Alderaan definitely feels like the writers wanted to crowbar in some ASOIAF into their Star Wars game. I've always felt that it's more like the warring houses from Dune or Fading Suns: House Organna is House Atriedes is House Hawkwood; House Ulgo is House Decados is House Harkonnen (right down to every one of them being lead by a fat stupid ugly guy), but I can totally see the Westeros influences too.
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Sep 14, 2013 21:59
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PoptartsNinja posted:I've always felt that it's more like the warring houses from Dune or Fading Suns: House Organna is House Atriedes is House Hawkwood; House Ulgo is House Decados is House Harkonnen (right down to every one of them being lead by a fat stupid ugly guy), but I can totally see the Westeros influences too. Oh, come now, Baron Harkonnen wasn't stupid, his whole drat plan would have worked perfectly if it wasn't for that pesky out-of-context enemy who went on to conquer the whole drat galaxy.
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Sep 14, 2013 22:07
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"I'm sending my soldiers to kill you now." Geez, Darth Tanktop, what do you call what just happened to Quin? A neighborly greeting?
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Sep 15, 2013 02:51
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