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luscious posted:Stories time! I learned that pretty much everyone you meet with a dramatic military story is probably full of poo poo. My friend was on the frontlines and when he was back and we'd go bar-hopping every time we met someone with a tale he nod and smile and then once they left explain how he knew they were lying and full of poo poo. I imagine a lot of guys talk up their war experience at a strip club, have you seen it enough to notice when they're lying or is it just immediately obvious when they start talking like they survived a Micheal Bay movie?
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Sep 8, 2013 09:47
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Would you rather have a quiet, boring night with below-average earnings or a night where you earn loads but have to deal with a bunch of gross idiots?
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Sep 8, 2013 19:45
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When you're making a lot of money you can put up with a huge amount of bullshit. It's kind of amazing, actually... almost nothing bothers me when I am having a good night. A BAD night though.... everything can set me off. Here's a thing for you guys. Last night a regular contacted me and I decided to take my chances by saying "come in on Sunday" which would allow me to make money both days. However, there was no money last night and today my other regular got in touch with me as he is in town and wants to come in. This is what happens when you're greedy. Imagine if I had set this up better. I could have made double the money. Fml. pentyne posted:I learned that pretty much everyone you meet with a dramatic military story is probably full of poo poo. My friend was on the frontlines and when he was back and we'd go bar-hopping every time we met someone with a tale he nod and smile and then once they left explain how he knew they were lying and full of poo poo. I try not to engage with people on things like this because I don't like to hear / trigger people or discredit them and their stories. The firefighter I had last night just wanted me to be like "oh my goodness you're amazing I'm so happy that there are people like you in the world!" Hm...
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Sep 8, 2013 20:59
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pentyne posted:I learned that pretty much everyone you meet with a dramatic military story is probably full of poo poo. My friend was on the frontlines and when he was back and we'd go bar-hopping every time we met someone with a tale he nod and smile and then once they left explain how he knew they were lying and full of poo poo. The thing about most actual frontline-type military guys is that they very quickly realize that outside of their unit, nobody cares about war stories - unless they're funny. If you start telling them, you may as well be explaining string theory to them, except with more trauma. But the time you were sitting around after a raid, waiting on the LT, and another dude dares you to break a watermelon over another guy's head? Gold.
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Sep 9, 2013 01:03
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The Rat posted:The thing about most actual frontline-type military guys is that they very quickly realize that outside of their unit, nobody cares about war stories - unless they're funny. If you start telling them, you may as well be explaining string theory to them, except with more trauma. That is oddly specific... How many girls work during a given night? Do you ever fight each other over getting to hang around certain customers you know are big money? Crazyeyes fucked around with this message at 13:29 on Sep 9, 2013 |
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Sep 9, 2013 03:09
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Hi sex work thread! I hope it's okay if I post here too.  I'm a prostitute (there's a fair bit of controversy in sex work activist circles about this term, but it's the quickest way to summarise what I do for a lay* audience) from New Zealand. All forms of sex work (including street-based sex work) were decriminalised here in 2003; I started working in 2010. I think sex work in New Zealand is pretty different from what I hear from US or Europe-based sex workers. *Heh. JR ANTI SEX LEAGUE fucked around with this message at 03:45 on Sep 9, 2013 |
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Sep 9, 2013 03:42
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JR ANTI SEX LEAGUE posted:Hi sex work thread! I hope it's okay if I post here too. In what ways would you say it is different? Is it freelance or do you work with some kind of agency/system? Regulations on your work? Any good stories?
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Sep 9, 2013 13:33
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Crazyeyes posted:How many girls work during a given night? Do you ever fight each other over getting to hang around certain customers you know are big money? I've worked shifts with one other girl and shifts with 50 girls. Depends on the club and depends on the season. It's best when there aren't too many girls because when there are too many guys tend to play more games with us. There was one club that I worked at that had so few girls working and it was amazing. I mean, they didn't want to work there because management was horrible but it really worked out well for me
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Sep 9, 2013 19:44
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luscious, could you talk a little about schedules/touring? I think I heard that, out here in BC at least, there's a circuit that strippers go on? Is that something you're aware of? How does that work? Also, could you talk a bit about the different standards for shows from province to province? I've been to a couple clubs in BC and a couple in AB. One huge difference I noticed was the tipping method in AB, where people are encouraged to throw coins at the strippers. Never seen that happen in BC. To be honest, it seemed incredibly demeaning and disrespectful, but all the strippers put on a convincing act like they loved it. Is this just an AB thing, or are there similar procedures in other provinces?
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Sep 9, 2013 19:52
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Do you pay taxes? Is it kind of like waitressing and tips where everyone gets away with underreporting their income?
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Sep 10, 2013 02:31
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B33rChiller posted:luscious, could you talk a little about schedules/touring? I think I heard that, out here in BC at least, there's a circuit that strippers go on? Is that something you're aware of? How does that work? Also, could you talk a bit about the different standards for shows from province to province? I've been to a couple clubs in BC and a couple in AB. One huge difference I noticed was the tipping method in AB, where people are encouraged to throw coins at the strippers. Never seen that happen in BC. To be honest, it seemed incredibly demeaning and disrespectful, but all the strippers put on a convincing act like they loved it. Is this just an AB thing, or are there similar procedures in other provinces? Since I've only been in Ontario I can't speak from personal experience but I'll try. In Ontario it isn't so much about stage performances as it is about lapdances, so out West you'll see more elaborate shows where tipping culture is similar to the US. I know girls who have worked out West who have made 500$ on a single stage set from having loonies and toonies thrown at them. I don't think I would be into having money whipped at me personally but I do think that if I was making hundreds of dollars in a night like that I would put up with it. I'm not that happy with people tipping me on stage because it's always stage dives (person goes on stage with a bill on their face) and I don't like having to pause my stage show (that I generally don't enjoy anyway) to put on a public show for a small amount of money normally in a one off. Some girls like it but I never have. The following is possibly out of date as it was explained to me by a girl who worked out West a few years ago. Out West though there are different types of strippers. There are features, showgirls, and lapdance girls who don't do stage (at all or often). A feature is a girl who either did porn or is essentially a "professional stripper" who has invested a large amount of time and money in performance stripping. Costumes, merchandise, marketing... they are sometimes even paid to visit the club and normally don't do lapdances at all. So the way that they make money is purely by stage show tips, selling merchandise, and other similar promotions. A showgirl is kind of inbetween a stripper and a feature. She still performs and does a professional thing but she might also sell lapdances and might not have as much of a financial investment in costumes and merchandise. I think that there are also other girls who do only lapdancing - at least I'm pretty sure - as I corresponded briefly with a club manager in Alberta who said this was so. It is totally possible that I didn't get that right and missed something but I do think that is how it is set up. With regards to touring: I started working in Toronto and started traveling about three months after that. It isn't really organized the way that "touring circuit" seems to make it sound. It's more just going to different clubs to not ever really settle there and keep you from having all your eggs in one basket. Sometimes switching up the club you're working at is all you need to break you out of the funk of stripping burn out. Other times one might not want to work in the city that they live in so they travel. There are a few bigger cities that definitely get more girls traveling through, but most clubs have girls working from out of town at any given time. I'm not sure if it is more organized in BC... I know that in some provinces you have to have an agent as you can't deal with the clubs directly and I guess if you work for an agency then they might move you through an official circuit, but like I said, in Ontario it might be "I'm from Toronto and I do Ottawa, Niagara, Montreal, and then back again". I did meet one girl who went touring around Australia on a work visa that she had set up through her agency. She was a feature and was obviously really invested in all this. She was awesome and I really did consider trying out an Aussie tour for like. five minutes. martyrdumb posted:Do you pay taxes? Is it kind of like waitressing and tips where everyone gets away with underreporting their income? from the stripclub dj thread: As OMP said, as an independent contractor I am required to deal with my own financial tracking which includes taxes. I do taxes, keep track of what can and can't be considered tax write offs. There are a lot of problems that dancers deal with regarding taxes. If a dancer gets audited, it is possible that the CRA or IRS will go through their purchases, bank account, apartment, etc. and decide to make them pay taxes on income that they didn't generate. They also have to balance out write offs because declared income vs. percentage of write off has to work out in a way that makes sense. For example, tanning, makeup and hair expenses*, outfits and stripper shoes, in the case of camgirls workspace*, and even things like personal trainers... all that can be written off. However, if a dancer in Ontario decides to declare under 30k on their taxes to avoid paying HST on their income (this is a really common thing among people who do) and is silly enough to write off like, 7k in work related expenses that's a redflag. As well, if a dancer declares too little and has a high bank account balance that raises questions. If a dancer decides to declare a small amount of money she might have problems with credit later when trying to get a house. Bringing 75k to a bank to get a house doesn't make that much sense if you've only claimed 30k for the last few years, y know? It is sometimes hard for dancers to WANT to pay taxes on their income because tbh, we don't really get to reap the benefits of what our tax dollars pay for. We don't get EI, it's harder for us to get welfare if necessary, the police don't take theft from us to be legitimate, sexual assault claims against dancers aren't taken seriously... it's hard to want to pay for these things when you won't actually get any of that. Like I said, I do pay taxes, unlike most people I work with. I know that it will catch up to them and would catch up to me if I didn't. As well, I would like to be able to get a house / car when the time is right. I also believe that social services are incredibly important and that taxes should be raised so that more people have access to things that they need. It would be completely hypocritical for me to not pay taxes when I am kind of a socialist :/ tl/dr: I do, most don't. It catches up to them. JR ANTI SEX LEAGUE posted:Hi sex work thread! I hope it's okay if I post here too. Absolutely! luscious fucked around with this message at 03:35 on Sep 10, 2013 |
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Sep 10, 2013 03:22
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Crazyeyes posted:In what ways would you say it is different? So, the biggest difference is definitely the effect of decriminalisation. Almost all forms of sex work, including street-based sex work, are decriminalised. Things that are still illegal include: minors working in the sex industry; non-residents (except Australians) working in the sex industry; providing services without protection; forcing someone to work in the sex industry. The restrictions on migrant workers are... interesting. They were introduced at the last minute as an "anti-trafficking" measure (nb: there's no evidence of any sex trafficking in New Zealand; most reported cases of forced labour involve fisherman or agricultural workers). This report, published earlier this year suggests that it has been a bad thing for migrant sex workers - they don't leave the industry (after all, it pays better than any other job available to them), they just work under conditions that could get them deported, and unscrupulous bosses take advantage of that. The important of our laws came into play for me personally when my ex-boyfriend found out I was a sex worker (I started over a year after we broke up), freaked out and sent me a bunch of threatening texts. I was able to go to the police without worrying that I'd be implicated in anything (I should acknowledge that race/class also plays a role here - I'm a "nice middle class white girl", if I were from a different background my case might have been treated differently) and the officer who dealt with my case was very supportive. This isn't always the case - police culture still sees sex workers as "unrapeable" to some extent, but the fact that we don't have to fear arrest for being sex workers is vitally important. The New Zealand Prostitute's Collective liaises with police to try to ensure that they treat us fairly. Most sex workers who work for an agency (I have only ever been a "managed indoor worker" so I can only speak to this side of it) are hired as "independent contractors". This is pretty much bullshit: the requirements agencies place on their workers mean that legally we should be afforded the same rights as employees. The other difference I feel from the internet is money. New Zealand's sex industry is significantly cheaper than the comparable levels in other countries - a friend and co-worker of mine took a working holiday to Australia, and working in a "mid-range" parlour her hourly rate was higher than our agency here (which is at the upper limit of agency rates in New Zealand). There isn't really a market here for $500+ an hour escorts. As far as I'm aware, the average brothel will charge between NZ$150-250/hr, roughly half of which goes to the worker; in a lot of parlours, you charge for extras which include kissing, performing oral sex on the woman, or anal. I mostly work for a "boutique" escort agency/brothel (we have in-call premises); I spent a little while working for a very busy local parlour. The agency lets us set our own hours - if I'm busy in a particular week, I can just say, "oh I can't work on Wednesday," and it's no hassle, and then if someone wants to see us during our time, our manager contacts us to see if we can come in. It's both good and bad; you have a lot of free time, but you're also sort of held up by being semi-constantly on-call. We usually get at least an hour's notice. The agency is all-inclusive: we don't charge for most extras (unless they're a specialty - golden showers, say (I don't do those, before anyone asks. Also golden showers are legal, but scat/blood/vomit play isn't)). The parlour was harder work but I earned more money: the downside was having to be onsite for 10-14 hours when I was working, and if there are no clients in that time, you don't get paid anything (see my bitching about "independent contractor" status above). They were also more likely to gently caress with my hours - "oh, can you come in early tonight?", "oh, can you work in our other premises this afternoon?" - and charged shift fees and fines, which is illegal in New Zealand but is still common practice in many parlours. Because it was open all night, you'd get drunk/high clients coming in, which could be exhausting to deal with - that was the hardest part of working there for me, dealing with guys who were completely wasted, couldn't get hard and either blamed me or the condoms. Weirdly (to me, anyway), there was also more blurring of the client/friend boundary in the parlour. They encouraged us to give our numbers to clients and text them. I had more guys get all "Oh, I love you, oh we should hang out outside of work!" at the parlour than I ever did at the agency. I would have expected the extras to make it clear we don't actually like them that much. Does that sound cynical? -- As for stories... a lot of my work is surprisingly boring. Meet a guy, take his money, make small talk, sex, shove him in the shower then out the door. I've had some interesting conversations with guys (I spent an hour post-booking talking to a guy consulting on prison privatisation once), and some depressing ones (my favourite client is a widower whose wife died in a car crash years ago  ; I tend to do well with sad clients  ). The last client I saw at the parlour told me he was the reincarnated Buddha, come to cleanse the earth of its sins - it sounded like the kind of monologue a Criminal Minds villain would deliver before murdering someone, that was kinda creepy. But mostly it's just middle-aged guys.Oh, except this one time when someone paid me to go overseas with him for a week 
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Sep 10, 2013 03:42
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JR ANTI SEX LEAGUE posted:So, the biggest difference is definitely the effect of decriminalisation. I've got a few questions. How does hygiene work when you're working like this? On both sides? Trying to put myself in your shoes, I see myself shoving anyone who dropped in into the shower before anything else. Is that standard procedure? How do you deal with bad hygiene in customers? Is it ok to ask them to eat a breath strip and such? Do you just have to deal with it, and if so is that a daily irritant? What about on your side? Do you shower with the customer, or just shower immediately after? Are there rules about this stuff, requirements through the agency or the parlor? Going a bit further down that road, what about STDs? I saw the "no unprotected services" mention in your post, but condoms aren't 100% obviously. How is that handled in the work you've done? Is catching something seen kind of as an inevitability, or do you guys take great pains to avoid it and mostly succeed? Has decriminalization affected STD likelihood at all? Made it easier to police or made it harder to avoid with it being open to a much wider segment of the population (all the people who never sought services purely because it was illegal who now do) Or do I have that "wider segment" thing completely wrong? Oh, yeah, and how does advertising work? I imagine you don't run commercials or anything, but is there any overt advertising? And how do individual girls advertise, or do they? Is there any competition for business, or do people pretty much walk in and see the girls who are available and pick someone? The rest is more on the personal side. What, to you, are the pros and cons of this kind of work? I guess, what do you enjoy about it and what do you dislike? And are you open about what you do? Is it something that someone might ask what you do and you're up front about it? And, I guess, do you get to have much of a personal life? Ever dated someone who was fine with what you do, or are you pretty much "single" for the duration? I'm curious I guess how this integrates into a life plan. I watched a documentary a while back called "Life After Porn" a while back and usually sex work is both a temporary career and something you can't really do until retirement age. If you're not uncomfortable sharing that bit, where does this fit into your life plan? Sorry to pile so much on in one post, reading what you wrote just popped up a ton of little questions.
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Sep 10, 2013 19:10
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TheSpiritFox posted:And, I guess, do you get to have much of a personal life? Ever dated someone who was fine with what you do, or are you pretty much "single" for the duration? I'm curious I guess how this integrates into a life plan. I watched a documentary a while back called "Life After Porn" a while back and usually sex work is both a temporary career and something you can't really do until retirement age. If you're not uncomfortable sharing that bit, where does this fit into your life plan? FWIW, the sex industry doesn't actually have to be a temporary career. With proper planning and desire someone actually can start in the sex industry when they are young (or middle aged or whatever) and continue through retirement. It might not be considered ideal but it can happen and I'm certain that it does happen more than people think. While people might think that being young is an asset in this industry there are times when being older can work for a SW as well. For example, there are times when there are older girls in the club and they make bank. Why? Because guys who are older don't always want a girl who looks like their daughter or even granddaughter - they sometimes want a woman who looks like their wife or who could conceivably play their wife if they are meeting in public / doing public things. Sure, sometimes it is all about the fantasy of the woman you can't or don't have, but sometimes it is about desiring "normalcy" or "believable companionship". There is also a desire for someone who "knows what they are doing" or "the older woman" or people who are into "GILF", "grannies", or other ~fetish~ categories. I'm definitely not saying that it is ideal but it really is possible and it is really annoying when people say things to me like "you know you can't do this forever, right?" because not only is that incredibly patronizing, it is simply not true. One CAN be in this industry from beginning to end. One can even be in this industry without saving and make as much, if not more, than someone who is doing a "regular job". Chances are their life will be more stressful due to the ongoing stigmatization and general whorephobia but with some diversification it is totally possible.
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Sep 10, 2013 22:33
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luscious posted:FWIW, the sex industry doesn't actually have to be a temporary career. With proper planning and desire someone actually can start in the sex industry when they are young (or middle aged or whatever) and continue through retirement. It might not be considered ideal but it can happen and I'm certain that it does happen more than people think. Do many women save their money well? As a finance professional I can't help but be intrigued by the possibilities of someone taking advantage of the relatively high incomes strippers can garner at such young ages (time value of money and all that). I'd imagine the nature of the business probably leads to rather reckless spending, but do many women manage their money well? Or do most of them fall victim to youth/alcohol/drugs/stupidity and piss most of it away? I know top tier strippers can easily make 6 figures, which at 18-25 is quite exceptional; With prudent savings and hard work it seems like a stripper could sail off into the sunset after 5-10 years of work with a nice chunk of money saved.
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Sep 11, 2013 01:50
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Ignoranceisbliss88 posted:Do many women save their money well? As a finance professional I can't help but be intrigued by the possibilities of someone taking advantage of the relatively high incomes strippers can garner at such young ages (time value of money and all that). I'd imagine the nature of the business probably leads to rather reckless spending, but do many women manage their money well? Or do most of them fall victim to youth/alcohol/drugs/stupidity and piss most of it away? I know top tier strippers can easily make 6 figures, which at 18-25 is quite exceptional; With prudent savings and hard work it seems like a stripper could sail off into the sunset after 5-10 years of work with a nice chunk of money saved. Well there's a few things to consider. First of all, strippers, as people, fall into all different groups with regards to spending and savings. It is really impossible for me to say that yes, we as a group are all good at spending or saving because we are individual people who live very diversely. So a stripper who happens to be a drug addict might have a really easy time spending money recklessly. A stripper who is in school might be good at saving. Or vice versa. Another thing to consider is that someone who has a cash income in the six figure range (which doesn't happen 'easily' anymore and these women are normally not 18-25) is probably not going to claiming their entire 6 figure income in their taxes and in order to properly save / invest money you have to declare it.
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Sep 11, 2013 02:20
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It doesn't sound so different from manual laborer or some sports. If you have the body for it and can rely more on your experience as your body ages, you can stay 'in the field' your entire career. But you can also move into management or the back office and still be a part of the industry. Have either of you sex workers posting in this thread considered getting into management? Opening a club/brothel?
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Sep 11, 2013 02:57
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Very Nice Eraser posted:It doesn't sound so different from manual laborer or some sports. If you have the body for it and can rely more on your experience as your body ages, you can stay 'in the field' your entire career. But you can also move into management or the back office and still be a part of the industry. It is incredibly hard to get licensing to open a club (and I'm certain to open a brothel, as well). I also know that it's really not worth opening a bar as turnover rates are so high. The amount of effort that it takes to open and manage people is not worth it as I see this industry as being a really rapidly dying industry. Similarly, management takes investment (both time, effort, and money) and part of the reason why people are and stay SWs (imo) is because the amount of effort vs compensation is really nicely arranged. I have a friend whose boyfriend both serves and manages at a restaurant. On nights that he serves he makes more money than nights when he manages even though he gets a tip-out. I kind of see this as a huge reason why people don't normally switch from SW to management: when you are used to making the money you don't want to give it up to manage. Normally when people are done in the industry they are just done. I don't think that I would want to go from being a dancer and making dancer money to being a manager, working in the same environment, working the same hours, working with the same bullshit, yet make manager money (especially since in Canada we don't tip-out).
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Sep 11, 2013 03:07
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luscious posted:I see this industry as being a really rapidly dying industry. What in your opinion are the reasons the industry is dying? Internet porn?
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Sep 11, 2013 06:05
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Torka posted:What in your opinion are the reasons the industry is dying? Internet porn? - people not having as much expendable income - a boom in "acceptance" / hiring standards being lower - people being more sexually open - fewer stigmas associated with being sexually active - internet porn The way that my manager explains it is that when he was younger the only time that you would see a naked woman was if you were married to her or paying her. The clubs were always full because seeing a naked woman wasn't as easy as turning on PPV or even just cable tv or turning on your computer. You couldn't just go out and see women dressed provocatively... it was something that you couldn't access easily so you had to pay for it if you wanted it. Now you don't even really have to do anything to find nudity or near nudity. It isn't hard to find free pornography. It isn't hard to see a naked woman. So you don't have to pay for it to get it. People still do and I believe that they always will... I just know that as the market continues to be over saturated and as demand continues to dwindle it's only a matter of time before clubs do not exist the same way that they do now and tbh, the way that clubs exist now is very different than they did years ago. It's interesting to talk to dancers who have been working for YEARS and who started fully clothed on a platform where they couldn't bend past x degrees at the waist and couldn't be touched at all. And now you're sitting on a lap, fully contact in some places with no visual obstruction. Like I have said before, most big cities have already fallen hard to full blown brothels and it's really only a matter of time before that becomes (more) industry standard. luscious fucked around with this message at 06:40 on Sep 11, 2013 |
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Sep 11, 2013 06:36
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Due to extreme burnout I have quit the club for a while and am back to camming full time. As a result, I will not only have weird stories about cam customers, I also will have a lot more time and energy to answer questions - especially about camming. So please continue asking if you have any I did my first full shift of camming yesterday and while it was slow, I did manage to haul in some regulars. I have new furniture so it's kinda weird to find how to work comfortably with it but it's pretty cool anyway. It can get really boring but I do like how there's less variables to go wrong with cam. Unlike being in the club, I have a lot of direct control over what happens and worse comes to worse, I can go offline. If I want to leave the club I actually have to pay or sneak out and if I get caught I have to deal with the fallout of that from management. I found a thread on another site about hosed up stuff that customers have asked girls to do on cam and found this gem to get this all started: quote:I think I may have a winner! I have a skype regular who has an extremely odd fetish. For one hour ever friday, I have to lay in a white lace thong, pour syrup & butter all over myself, and dirty talk to him as if I were a pancake. "I know you want to butter my cakes up and have your way with them." It cracks me up... though my house always smells like IHOP for about 3 days afterwards.
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Sep 20, 2013 23:10
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What is the respectful way to refer to people who provide sex for payment? "Hooker" and "Whore" are obvious slurs. "Prostitute" seems straddle the line between overly formal and insulting. "Sex worker" is too broad and includes other groups of people who don't provide sex at all. "Full service sex worker" is a bit too much of a mouthful to use in casual conversation. "Provider" is very vague and euphemistic. "Escort" and "call-girl" are too specific and don't include street and brothel workers. Additionally, what is your opinion on the words "john" and "punter"? Also, I think you guys would like to be aware of this thread in D&D:, which started off bad, and swiftly descended into a flurry of awful opinions, yelling, and Melissa Farley stats. VirtualStranger fucked around with this message at 00:22 on Sep 21, 2013 |
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Sep 21, 2013 00:16
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luscious posted:
That has to be a joke for humor and not wanting to get turned on. That's awesome though.
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Sep 21, 2013 00:31
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VirtualStranger posted:What is the respectful way to refer to people who provide sex for payment? "Hooker" and "Whore" are obvious slurs. "Prostitute" seems straddle the line between overly formal and insulting. "Sex worker" is too broad and includes other groups of people who don't provide sex at all. "Full service sex worker" is a bit too much of a mouthful to use in casual conversation. "Provider" is very vague and euphemistic. "Escort" and "call-girl" are too specific and don't include street and brothel workers. You're going to have to wait for JR ANTI SEX LEAGUE as I'm not a full service sex worker and can't speak for them. I will say that I don't find the term stripper to be insulting though some do so I think that it kinda depends on the SW individually. I prefer to say "customer" as those words are pretty specific to full service sex work or the front of house side of the industry. French people say "client" but I don't really see the dudes that I dance for / am on cam for as being "clients" because that sounds like they're actually hiring me officially instead of just buying time with me. This article is pretty interesting with regards to hobbyist vs customer though Gatts posted:That has to be a joke for humor and not wanting to get turned on. That's awesome though. I dunno... I mean, buying an hour from a sex worker is expensive - especially just for a joke
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Sep 21, 2013 00:40
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Here's a question. Do different groups of customers tend to go for a specific "type" of SW? For example, I've noticed in my daily life that it seems like older men tend to dislike women having tattoos, while younger men don't mind them nearly as much. Are there patterns as to which women certain types of men will be interested in? If there are, I'd assume that SWs would use that to their advantage?
VirtualStranger fucked around with this message at 07:05 on Sep 21, 2013 |
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Sep 21, 2013 01:51
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What do you think when people tell you that they've fallen on hard times? Like is it, "Oh, I'm sorry." or more like, "What a scam."
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Sep 21, 2013 02:05
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VirtualStranger posted:Here's a question. Do different groups of customers tend to go for a specific "type" of SW? For example, I've noticed in my daily life that it seems like older men tend to dislike women having tattoos, while younger men don't mind them nearly as much. Are there patterns as to which women certain types of men will be interested in? If there are, I'd assume that SWs would use that to their advantage? I'd say that younger guys tend to go for girls who resemble the women that you would find in magazines. So really thin really symmetrical face etc. I'm curvy and while guys don't necessarily approach me as much as they do my friend (whose body type resembles models) I make as much as she does because young guys don't have a lot of $$. I try to stay away from sober groups but don't have a specific demographic that I approach over others. I have had young guys spend a lot on me while an older guy won't. It's so individual... you just kinda have to feel it out. SlayVus posted:What do you think when people tell you that they've fallen on hard times? Like is it, "Oh, I'm sorry." or more like, "What a scam." Other SWs or customers? I think it's totally possible for anyone to fall on hard times and feel sorry when people do... I have recently due to burn out and it being a lovely season! I don't really care as it's not my hustle to talk about money or any other hard times - I think it's tacky. Guys want you to be their fantasy and a guy who wants me to be on hard times in order to support me... I can't get behind that. Customers on the other hand: sex workers are a luxury and if you can't afford it then you can't afford it.
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Sep 21, 2013 03:42
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From the DJ thread:torus posted:The sex industry is vilified so unfairly. Some of the stigma that it has, such as bullshit where people assume strippers are drug fueled addicts, are (in my view) a direct result of the stigma itself. A self fulfilling prophecy, one where people are just punching themselves in the face "HEY I know! Let's punish people for liking sex, and then freak out when some people stand up against that!" Since society puts such a stigma and harsh judgment on it, there will be skewed portion of people participating in it who have reckless type personalities, because it takes either guts or a bit of recklessness to go against the grain of what everyone arbitrarily thinks is right. Maybe someday the bulk of society which makes random vindictive rules will realize they're just eating their own poo poo, but until that day, just keep doing what your doing and have pride in what you do. You get to go to work and make other people happy, show off your beauty, and just have a good time for yourself and others. Seems like a great thing to me. Not really. While sex work is unfairly vilified, I don't think that the reason why stereotypes exist is because it's a self fulfuilling prophecy situation. I mean, it can be but I think that the same stereotypes exist in any industry where the workforce is largely "unskilled" and "disorganized". In my opinion, the people who are in the industry and who are "down and out" or doing drugs or whatever are people who happen upon this kind of work after they fall on hard times. Sex workers who turn to drugs and alcohol because they are having a hard time doing the work are burnt out and don't end up doing well. When you get to that point of burnout you're not making much money at all. Sex work to pay for an existing drug habit seems to be really lucrative though. I am speaking for myself though, but think that you should check how you really feel about it because "reckless personalities" like what is that? quote:My wife and I sometimes go on "strip club" dates where we bring beer and hang out with some of the dancers. We get a kick out of it for various reasons. And usually we toss some money on stage, and I'll often get a dance or two. Even with all that, it's at worst as expensive and usually cheaper than going out downtown where you pay for parking, bar cover, and expensive drinks. But we're swingers, so what do we know? Swingers are another vilified sex associated group, punished by an insecure society. I appreciate that you and your wife behave well at the stripclub. I think that you should really keep in mind that there's a huge difference between being a swinger (which is a private life personal thing) and being a sex worker (which is a professional thing that you publicly are). I don't think that you meant to come off in a way that was really kinda ~weird~ to me but it kinda was. Swinging, while maybe vilified and punished, is really not comparable to sex work at all.
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Sep 21, 2013 09:35
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luscious posted:From the DJ thread: On the first part, I'm just addressing the stereotype that people tend to have, which is that, for example, strippers or prostitutes more often do drugs than the average person. My point isn't about how true that stigma may or may not be, but that if a lot of people in general spout out that viewpoint, then it might cause the types of people who more readily follow authority to fear getting a job in the sex industry. I can imagine (or make silly guesses) about a world without that stigma - maybe a lot more people would work in the sex industry. But it's a chicken and egg type thing. I'm just tossing out ideas. And believe me, I absolutely know there's a difference between a personal thing and a work thing. I'm not that stupid! In the DJ thread, people often asked things along the lines of "Oh man tell me a story about this or that creepy guy! What about this creepy/dirty thing!". I was just trying to show how I can relate to being on the other side of the fence of those kinds of stigmas. I've been in at least the similar boat of worrying about what other people thought and how it might affect me. Just like you mentioned not wanting to work in the same town where you knew people, I also would not want a lot of people around me to know about swinging.Anyway, was just trying to show some respect. That's about it. Edit: I'm not sure if my topic is exactly relevant to your thread, but you kinda pulled me in so here's something to ask: Are you able or do you try to get in contact with other cam performers? It always seems like it'd be an advantage to, say, give joint shows with another cam performer as a special event. torus fucked around with this message at 10:11 on Sep 21, 2013 |
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Sep 21, 2013 09:48
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torus posted:On the first part, I'm just addressing the stereotype that people tend to have, which is that, for example, strippers or prostitutes more often do drugs than the average person. My point isn't about how true that stigma may or may not be, but that if a lot of people in general spout out that viewpoint, then it might cause the types of people who more readily follow authority to fear getting a job in the sex industry. Totally cool. It's possible that after being up so long and and being on cam my reading comprehension isn't completely on
luscious fucked around with this message at 10:44 on Sep 21, 2013 |
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Sep 21, 2013 10:12
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luscious posted:Not really. While sex work is unfairly vilified, I don't think that the reason why stereotypes exist is because it's a self fulfuilling prophecy situation. I mean, it can be but I think that the same stereotypes exist in any industry where the workforce is largely "unskilled" and "disorganized". In my opinion, the people who are in the industry and who are "down and out" or doing drugs or whatever are people who happen upon this kind of work after they fall on hard times. Yes, I think a lot of the same stereotypes exist around restaurant and bar work, and they do describe a small percentage of people who work in those fields as well, for similar reasons.
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Sep 21, 2013 19:06
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luscious posted:Totally cool. It's possible that after being up so long and and being on cam my reading comprehension isn't completely on Granted maybe as you say, I didn't exactly get my meaning across right the first time, but what would you say to the thought that you directly demonstrated the stigma that I mentioned? Totally serious question too, no trolling - but how do you think such stigmas against non-standard sexual activities affects your industry? Do you think in a hypothetical world without these stigmas, your clients would be different? Would you make more or less money? Truly just curious.
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Oct 2, 2013 00:36
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torus posted:Granted maybe as you say, I didn't exactly get my meaning across right the first time, but what would you say to the thought that you directly demonstrated the stigma that I mentioned? I'm actually grateful for a lot of stigmas because if there wasn't a stigma surrounding sex work then a lot more people would be sex workers and the market is already flooded and fetish customers are a huge part of the sex industry - especially camming. There was a discussion on a sex worker webforum that I post on where a girl talked about how a guy came into her camroom and asked if she would gag on a dildo and pretend to cry. She started asking him why he likes to abuse women and whatever else but my opinion is that it's great that he's finding a way to satisfy his fantasy of having someone cry while choking on his dick who is enthusiastically consenting and participating and in this case getting compensated for her work with him. Same with any kind of roleplay or fantasy scene that involves abuse or stigma - for it to be acted out by two consenting adults who are separating fantasy and reality is really important and one of the best things that sex work can contribute to the world.
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Oct 2, 2013 01:57
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luscious posted:I'm actually grateful for a lot of stigmas because if there wasn't a stigma surrounding sex work then a lot more people would be sex workers and the market is already flooded and fetish customers are a huge part of the sex industry - especially camming. Thumbs up for reasonable and thought out reply! d^.^ One thing I will never understand is how mutual consent is sometimes misconstrued as...not mutual consent.
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Oct 2, 2013 02:31
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torus posted:Thumbs up for reasonable and thought out reply! I don't understand what you mean by the second paragraph... can you clarify for me?
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Oct 2, 2013 03:58
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luscious posted:I don't understand what you mean by the second paragraph... can you clarify for me? Bwuh? luscious posted:She started asking him why he likes to abuse women and whatever else but luscious posted:he's finding a way to satisfy his fantasy of having someone cry while choking on his dick who is enthusiastically consenting and participating I was just agreeing with you by saying how I don't understand why other people judge another person's choice of mutual consent.
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Oct 2, 2013 04:43
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Torus is trying to say that two adults can agree on something, thus having mutual consent, and other people will view it as one party forcing the other to engage in some kind of unwanted activity, ie: not mutual consent. Dan Savage talked about this in the case of a husband wanting to have sex with his wife while she was asleep. His wife told him that he could gently caress her while she was asleep. Naturally, a ton of people said Dan Savage was advocating rape because if the wife was asleep, she couldn't provide consent. In the sex worker's webforum situation described above, a man asked if a woman would engage in a consensual activity. The woman accused him of wanting to abuse her or other women. The confusion arises because the man clearly was seeking consent. Somehow, others view this as attempted abuse. That was what Torus was confused about.
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Oct 2, 2013 05:22
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Atlas Hugged posted:Torus is trying to say that two adults can agree on something, thus having mutual consent, and other people will view it as one party forcing the other to engage in some kind of unwanted activity, ie: not mutual consent. Thanks for clarifying, that's all about on the dot. But also, I wasn't confused that the cam performer did not want to do what was asked. That's perfectly fine, of course the cam performer shouldn't have to do what they do not want to do. I was addressing what the OP mentioned, was that if a cam performer consented to the action, then other peoples' judgments to the contrary should maybe be irrelevant.
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Oct 2, 2013 05:52
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Thank you for clarifying that for me I sometimes have reading comprehension problems and know that I am touchy on this subject in particular.
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Oct 2, 2013 06:36
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torus posted:Thanks for clarifying, that's all about on the dot. Oh, the cam performer absolutely can refuse consent and not perform the act. For me, I was annoyed/confused that someone would hear a request for consent and mistake it for a demand.
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Oct 2, 2013 06:45
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