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ZeeToo posted:So... that's the fifth-longest fight. Well, you didn't manage Lance Stabber, PI, did you? Because if so, it was two of the other four. Let me go check... OH HOLY EVERLIVING gently caress, YOU ACTUALLY DID MANAGE LANCE STABBER, PI.  I HATE YOU. YOU ARE PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THREE OF THE FIVE LONGEST ONE ON ONE MATCHES IN ARENA HISTORY. THAT'S SIXTY PERCENT. THAT'S MORE THAN HALF. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.http://arenachallenge.com/dwarffort/getuser.php?ZeeToo http://arenachallenge.com/dwarffort/view_combat_log.php?193 http://arenachallenge.com/dwarffort/view_combat_log.php?246 edit: i don't really hate you but what the hell is it with your builds, three of the five longest fights... Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 08:53 on Jan 24, 2014 |
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Jan 24, 2014 08:37
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Jazzimus Prime posted:OH HOLY EVERLIVING gently caress, YOU ACTUALLY DID MANAGE LANCE STABBER, PI. Glorious.  See, this is exactly why I've been betting on ZeeToo! He plays the long game like nobody else!
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Jan 24, 2014 08:59
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It's not my fault my opponents don't have the grace to die on schedule. 
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Jan 24, 2014 09:01
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Does armor do anything to reduce the severity of a bladed weapon's attack if the armor is pierced? A lot of match commentary mentions that steel weapons will go straight through copper, for example - does that mean that a steel spear used against a target with a full set of copper armor will do damage as if the armor weren't even there? If that's true, doesn't that make it kind of pointless to wear multiple armor pieces on the same slot made of different materials?
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Jan 24, 2014 09:05
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Spoggerific posted:Does armor do anything to reduce the severity of a bladed weapon's attack if the armor is pierced? A lot of match commentary mentions that steel weapons will go straight through copper, for example - does that mean that a steel spear used against a target with a full set of copper armor will do damage as if the armor weren't even there? I think that layers of weaker materials will make a cutting weapon less effective than it would be without the armor, but Scamtank in the Games thread would be the expert that would know for sure. And I'm definitely going to get his feedback before I launch the next tournament.
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Jan 24, 2014 09:21
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Wait a minute. Did I really just bet on a serpentman against Dies Horribly? You better own this thing, Rocktavian.
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Jan 24, 2014 14:33
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No worries guys, I got this. 
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Jan 25, 2014 04:33
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This next fight is going to be glorious. So many dorfbucks riding on this...
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Feb 4, 2014 20:10
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I bet against the one I want to win this simply because of the odds
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Feb 5, 2014 00:11
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 Quarterfinals, Match Three Match Three, roctavian (Clockwork Gadget) vs. Dies Horribly (RickVoid)  Hello and welcome to another edition of Arena Challenge, coming to you live from Syrupleaf Pavilion, with 33,171 fans here in attendance! Alongside me tonight are my colleagues Jesse Ventura and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. It's good to be here, Gino. This should be a good one! I hate Syrupleaf. Too drat cold here. Tonight's match features roctavian the serpent man, managed by Clockwork Gadget, against Dies Horribly the goblin, managed by RickVoid! Your thoughts on tonight's match, gentlemen? This one will be over quickly. There's no way a little snake will beat Dies. I'm looking forward to the semifinals and the finals, which should feature some real competition! I wouldn't totally count out roctavian, Bobby. Pound-for-pound, I think there's no tougher fighter in the arena than the serpent man. But with that said, I think that Dies's size advantage gives him a close victory. And as the fighters enter the ring, the crowd here literally exploded with cheers! Entering the ring in the left corner is roctavian the serpent man! He wields a silver warhammer in one hand and an iron buckler-shield in the other, and wears a bronze helm, bronze gauntlets, and two layers of bronze mail shirts! His lower body isn't protected at all, Gorilla. Dies will chop him in half. But he's elusive, Bobby. And entering in the right corner is Dies Horribly the goblin, who has ridden the momentum of a play-in battle royale to reach the quarterfinals! Dies holds a steel pick in one hand and a copper shield in the other, and wears a copper cap under a copper helm, an iron mail shirt under a silver breastplate, and a set of copper high boots! Everyone knows about Dies's skills, but his armor isn't the best quality. And roctavian's hammer is designed for getting through armor! That won't matter when Dies chops the little snake in half with one swing and makes a new pair of boots out of him. And there's the bell, and the fighters are off! They look like they're exactly the same speed out of the gate. Roctavian gets the first swing off, and Dies blocks it with his shield! Ha ha! The little guy isn't going to get anything past that defense! Look at that shieldwork! Now Dies swings his pick in a powerful stroke, but just misses! Roctavian tries to counter, but misses! Oh, Dies could have ended it right there. But I think he wants to take his time, and entertain all these fans here. He's saving his best stuff for the trolls and the werewolves he'll have to face in the final two rounds. Roctavian swings again, but Dies jumps away! Now the two foes circle each other in the center of the arena, staring each other down! I don't know, but it looks to me like roctavian is actually more aggressive on offense out here! He's taken three swings to Dies's one, even though neither one has connected yet. Dies is just letting the snake guy wear himself out. There's no way he can keep up that kind of energy. And now roctavian charges at Dies! It doesn't look like Dies was expecting this at all! Roctavian misses badly with a wild swing with the hammer, and crashes into the goblin! Roctavian stumbles backwards after the collision and Dies holds his ground... but the goblin looks a little stunned from the impact! He's faking it, Gorilla. He's like a big cat, toying with a mouse that doesn't know that it's dead yet. I don't know, Brain. I think Dies took a shield to his forehead and got his bell rung! Maybe so, but can the serpent man take advantage? Roctavian swipes the claw of his buckler-hand at Dies's face, but Dies turns his head just in time, and the snakeman's claws glance off his metal helmet! See? Just like I said, nothing to worry about. While Dies's head is turned, Roctavian bashes his hammer at the goblin's left foot! It connects! He's shattered the metatarsals, and bone fragments have ruptured the extensor digitorum muscle and the peroneal tendons! Dies falls to the ground! Uh-oh. When Gino goes all Grey's Anatomy on us, you know there's trouble. What the...?! This... this wasn't supposed to happen!?! Dies tries to mount an attack from the ground, but misses widely! I think he's still stunned from that collision earlier! He'd better get his wits back fast, or this will be over! Roctavian presses his advantage, and bashes Dies' left upper arm with his hammer! It looks like that blow may have delivered a hairline fracture to the humerus! Hey, fatso, there's nothing humorous about this! That was a dirty cheap shot! Roctavian should let Dies get back on his feet, and fight him like a real man! Or a real, uh... serpent, uh... man! It looks like Dies has finally shaken out the cobwebs, and is no longer stunned! But he's on the ground now, Gino, and he's in big trouble! Dies plants his hands on the arena floor to push himself up into a position he can attack from, but Roctavian immediately smashes one of those hands with his hammer! The metacarpals and proximal phalanges are pulverized! And now Dies can't hold on to his pick anymore! It wasn't supposed to happen this way! Dies was bigger, and... and stronger, and more skilled, and had better armor! This shouldn't be happening! As Dies flinches in pain from the blow to his hand, Roctavian swings his hammer in a wide arc, and connects with Dies's occipital protuberance! His WHAT? You know, the bump in the lower part of the back of the skull. Are you trying to tell me that thing actually has a NAME, Gino? Indeed it does, and what's more, it looks like the impact ruptured Dies's C1 cervical vertebra, paralyzing him! He drops his shield now, and falls prone to the ground! Oh no. Oh no. Oh. Oh, I... I'm sorry guys, but I think I'm going to be sick, I'm going to have to the booth now. Now Roctavian goes to work with his hammer on Dies's left side! He chips the left femur before moving on the wrist, shattering the trapezium, trapeziod, and scaphoid bones! And the serpent man punches him in the mouth for good measure, knocking out... uh... I think the technical term for that thing is a "molar", Gino. Roctavian continues bruising and breaking bones with his hammer, starting with Dies's fingers, then moving on to his lower body, then working his way back up his right side, and finally smashing his hammer into the goblin's face! And it looks like the hammer is stuck in what used to be Dies's head. Well, that goblin had one hell of a run, and it had to end some time. I don't think Bobby is taking this too well though. So it's official! Roctavian has moved on to the semifinals, and after an incredible run through the tournament, Dies Horribly has finally lived up to his name! For Jesse Ventura and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, I'm Gorilla Monsoon, wishing you all a good night from Syrupleaf Pavilion!Combat Log ...  I couldn't believe it either. Out of curiosity, I simulated this match six more times -- and Dies won all six of those and only one of them was even a LITTLE close -- but the first match is always the official match and therefore the only one that counts. Just in case anyone is wondering, here are the seven full combat logs, featuring the official match followed by the six simulations: http://pastebin.com/sMCasgaN
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Feb 5, 2014 05:05
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Goodnight, sweet prince.
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Feb 5, 2014 05:27
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As sad as I am to see dies go, his death did win me a good amount of dwarfbuks.
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Feb 5, 2014 05:27
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God drat my heart started racing the very second I realized that this was another fight.  I probably was more tense about that than my own fight.Still, though... 
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Feb 5, 2014 05:54
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Always bet on snakez.
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Feb 5, 2014 05:56
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 0 for 3 this round. If Dr Stranglelove doesn't win, I'm ruined.
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Feb 5, 2014 06:00
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Between the heavy betting and Roctavian's upset victory, this last match has significantly changed the betting leader board. Here were the leaders before the fight.  And here are the new leaders after the fight.  ZeeToo's huge bet on Roctavian paid off in a very big way. Maugrim, Iunnrais, Anchors, gbuchold, and Khisanth Magus all moved up significantly as well. Kudos to RickVoid for betting everything on himself and keeping the betting standings interesting when he could have just sat on his winnings. However, the loss caused him to drop from #1 to #140 in the betting standings overall, and TurninTrix's large bet on Dies Horribly caused him to fall from #2 to #127. And I still can't believe Dies lost. I had some more dialogue all prepared for Bobby "The Brain" Heenan for the next couple of rounds, but I really didn't anticipate this at all.
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Feb 5, 2014 07:48
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I'm sorry to see Dies go, but my sadness is tempered by the huge pile of dorfbux putting me up on the leaderboard.
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Feb 5, 2014 09:21
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Hey, it's been nearly three years. I didn't expect him to survive the Battle Royale, much less make it this far. At least he finally lived up to his name. 
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Feb 5, 2014 14:11
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Jazzimus Prime posted:TurninTrix's large bet on Dies Horribly caused him to fall from #2 to #127. I thought it was a sure thing. 
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Feb 5, 2014 14:17
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Well, it's about drat time! I lost almost all my money betting against Dies Horribly in Round One!
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Feb 5, 2014 20:38
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TurninTrix posted:I thought it was a sure thing.   Would anyone be interested in seeing his build? Can't give you a play-by-play of what I purchased when, but I could probably give a general breakdown with some explanations of the thought process that went into it.
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Feb 5, 2014 23:09
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RickVoid posted:
Absolutely!
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Feb 5, 2014 23:15
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Podima posted:Absolutely! Still can't get into the Arena Challenge website from work (gambling site my rear end...) but I'll try to put something together in a few hours when I'm home from work. EDIT So here's what Dies had, courtesy of the challenge site: code:Skill-wise, I know my points were initially spread between fighting, dodging, and misc object (hit-poo poo, don't-get-hit-by-poo poo, kill-poo poo-with-stuff-not-made-for-killing-poo poo). Armor was added to offset the speed penalty after I was "awarded" the breastplate, and since I'd put points into it I started to slowly pick up other bits of armor. Shield was the latest skill I put points into, and reading the combat logs I'm glad I did. So, observations. Dies got as far as he did by being Dodgy, having a weapon that was capable of penetrating most armor types (picks do piercing damage, and a Steel pick will go through anything up to and including Steel), and being drat good at using it. I'm not sure what I would do different. Would better armor have stopped me from getting knocked to the ground? Doubtful, and more points in armor mean less points in things that kept me from getting hit in the first place. Good luck to the rest of our fighters, I'm looking forward to the conclusion and the next season. I've got some fun ideas for my next fighter... RickVoid fucked around with this message at 00:41 on Feb 6, 2014 |
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Feb 5, 2014 23:19
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Awww, sad to see you go Dies. You were the hope for the little people (read: not minotaurs/trolls)! That said... making money! Woo! 3rd on the rankings!
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Feb 6, 2014 20:45
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But.... he lost to a snakeman, which I'm pretty sure is even smaller.
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Feb 6, 2014 21:00
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RickVoid posted:I'm not sure what I would do different. Would better armor have stopped me from getting knocked to the ground? Doubtful, and more points in armor mean less points in things that kept me from getting hit in the first place. I think you did everything right in your build, you just had very bad luck. Like I said, I simulated that fight six more times, and Dies won all six of those. Sometimes the electronic dice just have your number. I'll try to finish the quarterfinal round this weekend. I have a lot of real-life stuff coming up soon (moving into a new home, traveling a whole lot more often for work, etc., etc.) and want to wrap up this tournament as soon as I can.
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Feb 6, 2014 23:56
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Quarterfinals, Match Four Match Four, Dr Stranglelove (Anchors) vs. MLK (Red Dragon)  Hello again everyone, and welcome to the last match of the Arena Challenge quarterfinals, coming to you live from the Armokdome in Dwarfhalla! With me as always is my colleague John Madden, and our special guest just for tonight is the legendary Harry Caray! Hey! Did you know that if you go into a Japanese restaurant and order a taco... they bring you calamari? It's the craziest thing! Huh! I didn't know that! Uh, thanks for that, Harry. Now, I like calamari too! But what I really wanted was a taco. Let's have a look at tonight's fighters. In the left corner, Dr Stranglelove is a male strangler managed by Anchors. He wields two steel picks in his four hands, and -- get this! -- he's wearing an ADAMANTINE helm, a bronze mail shirt under an ADAMANTINE breastplate, and four ADAMANTINE gauntlets! And, and... and that right there is what every one of the smaller fighters has dreamed about right there, to survive deep into the tournament, long enough to get a set of adamantine armor for protection. Now, with the bigger fighters, they could never be able to afford that kind of protection, there's just not enough rounds in the tournament for them to get a full set of magic armor. But Dr Stranglelove here is halfway there, although he doesn't have any protection at all on his lower body, and that could be a problem later on in this fight. They could have made a taco, and then put some of that raw fish in it. In the right corner, MLK is a male minotaur, and he wields an iron warhammer. Other than that, he's got no other gear. No armor, no shield, nothing! And here in the arena, I've always said there are three basic melee builds you can go with. One is to protect yourself with good quality armor, at the expense of your skills. Another is to go with light armor or no armor, and to use either a shield or pure evasiveness as your defense. And the third approach is to go all-out to be as skilled with your weapon as possible. With that third approach, your only real defense is the occasional parry with your weapon, because you're going with the philosophy that "the best defense is a good offense," and you're expecting to cripple or kill your opponent before he can hit you. And that third approach, I think, is what MLK is going for here. So, what are we watching here? I see a monkey-looking thing with four arms wearing blue metal clothes, and a big guy with a head like a cow. Yes, Harry, it's a strangler against a minotaur in an arena fight. And there's the bell, and the fighters are off! MLK actually looks a little bit faster than Dr. Stranglelove out of the gate! Yeah, and I think the reason for that is that Stranglelove is wearing a fairly heavy bronze mail shirt under all that adamantine. Adamantine armor is really light and won't slow you down. But bronze armor will slow you down. There used to be an old saying. "Forewarned is forearmed". I wonder if they were talking about this little four-armed guy. MLK swings his hammer in a broad arc, but the hammer misses the strangler entirely... however, MLK collides with the little guy and knocks him on his back to the arena floor! And that magic armor he's got can protect you from a lot of things, Al, but one thing it won't protect you from, it won't protect you from getting knocked over. If Andre Dawson had four arms, he could maybe swing a baseball bat twice as fast. MLK leans over his fallen opponent, and raises his hammer up above his head! But Dr Stranglelove quickly swipes a pick at MLK's head... and CONNECTS! Now that wasn't a straight-on blow, or else this fight would probably be over, but I think he did manage to crack the big guy's skull with that hit! And now the pick is stuck in the wound! But if he swung his bat twice as fast, I don't think that would make his home runs go twice as far. MLK falls to his knees, but remains conscious! He then viciously bites down on the strangler's ankle and latches on, shaking him viciously! Yeah, I had said that Dr Stranglelove might regret not having any armor at all on his legs, and this right here is the reason why. "Erdna Noswad". You know who that is? That's Andre Dawson spelled backwards. MLK rips away the strangler's foot with his teeth! Strangler blood gushes all over the arena floor! Dr Stranglelove rips his pick free from MLK's forehead, and the minotaur roars in pain! If the strangler can land one more hit on MLK's head, it will probably end this fight. But you can't count the bigger guy out until that actually happens. Andre Dawson used to play for the Expos. What kind of name for a team is that? Expos? Now blood is pumping out of Dr Stranglelove's ankle all over the arena floor, and he's starting to look weaker! Yeah, and he can't stand up either! Even with all that adamantine armor, I think he's in trouble here, between being unable to stand, and all the blood loss! I know what a Cub is, and I know what a Cardinal is, but I'm not sure what an Expo is. It's some kind of event, isn't it? MLK swings his hammer at the grounded strangler again, but misses! And this time, Dr Stranglelove counters, and drives another pick right into MLK's leg! It looks like he broke the leg bone there, and the pick is stuck in the wound! I think naming your team after a pair of socks makes more sense than naming your team after an event. The Montreal Events just isn't a very good name. MLK attempts to gore the prone strangler, but his horns glance right off of the adamantine armor! Meanwhile Dr Stranglelove twists his pick around in MLK's leg! Stranglelove's armor really saved him there, and now you can see MLK gritting his teeth from the pain of multiple broken bones! When I used to broadcast for the White Sox in the 70s, they actually wore red socks with their uniforms. Boy, let me tell you, that didn't make any sense at all. MLK raises his hammer high over his head one more time and brings it down at the strangler... and MISSES! And now MLK falls over! I think the pain of all those broken bones got to be too much for him. And now he's unconscious, which... when you're not wearing any armor at all, that's probably a death sentence right there. I guess they couldn't have changed their name, since "Red Sox" was already taken. But they could have just changed their socks! And with the minotaur unconscious on the ground before him, Dr Stranglelove gets to his knees, raises his pick high above his head, and buries it into MLK's forehead, right where the skull had been fractured earlier! And with that, the fight is all over! Heckuva fight by the strangler there, and don't be surprised if we see him sporting a full set of the blue magic armor next round! For John Madden and Harry Caray, this is Al Michaels wishing you all a good night from the Armokdome, where Dr Stranglelove has secured the last of the semifinal spots! So long, everyone! Hey, does anyone know where I can get a Budweiser around here?Combat Log
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Feb 7, 2014 10:29
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Woah. Go little guys! Also Jazzimus your commentary is the best and you are the best.
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Feb 7, 2014 11:21
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Amazing commentary. Definitely made me laugh. All I could think of is this SNL skit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrFUBKCONfs
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Feb 7, 2014 13:52
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quote:
That...hurt.
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Feb 7, 2014 14:08
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Yyyyyyyyyyeahhhhhhhhh I took 75% of all the money bet on that fight. That bumps me up to #2. You better watch out, ZeeToo! Bad Munki fucked around with this message at 15:45 on Feb 7, 2014 |
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Feb 7, 2014 15:43
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A perfect 0/4 betting line on that round. I now have 10 monies.
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Feb 7, 2014 15:56
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TurninTrix, ZeeToo, The sooner this is done, the sooner we can finish the tournament. Only four matches left! EDIT: Emails and PMs have been sent out! You guys have 96 hours! Jack the Lad posted:Also Jazzimus your commentary is the best and you are the best. Spermy Smurf posted:Amazing commentary. Definitely made me laugh. Thanks guys! Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 01:42 on Feb 8, 2014 |
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Feb 7, 2014 21:48
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Jazzimus Prime posted:The sooner this is done, the sooner we can finish the tournament. Only four matches left! Oh god I'm so excited! Also I have an (admittedly premature) suggestion for the next tournament! How about we get... not just one guy, but a group of people to run the fights and write up the posts? I couldn't manage a whole LP but I'd definitely be up for the occasional contribution. We'd have to have a suitably modded DF install uploaded somewhere for everyone to use, instructions for setting up the arena, and a system whereby LPers could tag a fight and say "I'm doing this one right now" to prevent overlaps. But it's the only system I can think of that might give us a chance of getting through an even larger tournament than this one before the heat death of the universe.
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Feb 7, 2014 23:16
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Jazzimus, your commentary is fantastic. I read all of Harry Caray's lines in Will Ferrell's voice, and this oneJazzimus Prime posted:I guess they couldn't have changed their name, since "Red Sox" was already taken. But they could have just changed their socks! made me laugh loud enough to get weird looks from co-workers. Great job.
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Feb 7, 2014 23:22
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roctavian is good to go for the next round.
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Feb 8, 2014 01:16
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Maugrim posted:Also I have an (admittedly premature) suggestion for the next tournament! How about we get... not just one guy, but a group of people to run the fights and write up the posts? I couldn't manage a whole LP but I'd definitely be up for the occasional contribution. I've given some thought to this already, and one way that this could be done would be to have a two-tiered administration system on the site -- one level for site-wide admins (i.e. myself and Vox), and one level for "league commissioners", which would have the authority to run matches for a given league. Admins would be able to create new leagues and appoint commissioners, and a league could have multiple commissioners. This would be kind of similar to the admin/moderator system on the SA forums. This would also create the possibility of multiple leagues running at once, each league having its own rules and schedules and so forth (one could be 5v5 team-based with an NFL-style regular season followed by playoff, and another could be a one-on-one single elimination tournament with cheaper armor and with picks and missile weapons heavily gimped, etc.). I've done some of the work already to make this possible, but it isn't all complete yet. One of the caveats with this is that commissioners will need to have the permission to view everything about the league that they're running, including all details about all fighter builds. So we'd have to be on the honor system if a commissioner is participating in their own league.
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Feb 8, 2014 02:42
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That idea is so stupidly complicated but incredibly awesome. Bravo you guys, thanks for all the work you have done for my amusement. Edit: I can run fights so I can kill Bad Munki Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 02:49 on Feb 8, 2014 |
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Feb 8, 2014 02:46
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I'm not even in this anymore, you dummy, so no, you can't. You are that much of a failure at this. 
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Feb 8, 2014 04:11
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 13:47 |
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Bad Munki posted:I'm not even in this anymore, you dummy Says the guy who is in 2nd place out of 176 on the betting boards.
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Feb 8, 2014 04:23
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