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ArbitraryC posted:I'm sorry that's one of those things you can't explain well but the intonation is hugely different between "female colleagues" and "women I work with". You will simply naturally gravitate towards one if you get it and the other if you don't. not really, man. you can say female colleagues or female friends or female whatevers and nobody will think it's weird unless you're actually weird. p.s. I don't think you know what the word intonation means. p.p.s. I'm not sure you're qualified to give advice on what socially aware people should say or do. peace
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Feb 23, 2014 06:49
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Synonamess Botch posted:not really, man. you can say female colleagues or female friends or female whatevers and nobody will think it's weird unless you're actually weird.
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Feb 23, 2014 07:20
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plenty of women talk about their 'male colleagues' or 'male friends' as well. feminism's great but stop being so utterly whipped jesus
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Feb 23, 2014 11:01
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Curdy Lemonstan posted:I lost mine drunk off my rear end to a fat loving beast, none of you would slam that whale for sure. It was awful, like a wakeupcall going "not all sex is worth having ding ding". this also applies to me.
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Feb 23, 2014 11:45
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I really could not think of any other adjectives to use to describe colleagues who are women. So feel free to suggest more alternatives, English is not my first language anyway. I can absolutely see what would be wrong with using just the word "female" as a noun though.
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Feb 23, 2014 11:57
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Female colleagues fall in the category of Day Game.
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Feb 23, 2014 12:36
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ArbitraryC posted:Admittedly female as an adjective is okay usage when used sparring. ArbitraryC beating the poo poo out of females. Virgoons the only advice that can be given, I think, is to put yourself into more social events or use online dating or even chatting if your problem is social anxiety. Maybe try therapy or medication for some of you who are clearly depressed. Alternatively, have you guys tried drugs and alcohol (for yourself, not the other person)?
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Feb 23, 2014 12:49
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Incoming Chinchilla posted:Alternatively, have you guys tried drugs and alcohol (for yourself, not the other person)? Only on the girl and it worked pretty great to be fair.
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Feb 23, 2014 13:19
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serious norman posted:Only on the girl and it worked pretty great to be fair. this also applies to me
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Feb 23, 2014 15:26
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Synonymous posted:Yes, yes it does. To emulate this, make a Grindr profile, set your name as "Bottom" and assuming you're not lethally unattractive, your phone will not stop vibrating. What's funny to me is, he dated the same guy for six years, then recently broke up because the dude cheated on him a second time (fool me twice...), and he was like, "I haven't dated since high school, I don't know what I'm going to do, maybe I should go back to him again," etc. So I'm like, "have you heard of Grindr?" He's a faithful dude and it didn't come out until 2009, so he had never heard of it. Next time I talk to him a week later, he's mastered Grindr, as well as at least one other app that does kind of the same thing. As far as I know from hearing him talk, his whole social universe has been nonstop dicks since then. I feel like I should get ally points for this in some cosmic ledger.
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Feb 23, 2014 16:10
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serious norman posted:Only on the girl and it worked pretty great to be fair. Pour poppers on her butt and then sniff her butt. Be carefule because poppers cause chemical burns.
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Feb 23, 2014 16:55
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Cucktales Blogger posted:Pour poppers on her butt and then sniff her butt. Be carefule because poppers cause chemical burns. Virgoons take note of this level of romanticism and the pussy/rear end will flow
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Feb 23, 2014 20:04
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Incoming Chinchilla posted:Virgoons take note of this level of romanticism and the pussy/rear end will flow Do females pee from their vagina or rear end?
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Feb 23, 2014 20:10
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go to backpage.com, click on your city, then under "Adult" click "Escorts"
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Feb 23, 2014 20:26
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just save up $100-$200 depending on how big your city is and you'll finally have sex. since you're a goon and probably object to pua this is your most likely option
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Feb 23, 2014 20:29
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Xeom posted:I think eventually you become asexual, or at least that's what has happened to me. I am 26 and cant remember the last time I even tried to talk to a woman with the interest being romantic. It's true eventually you stop trying completely. I can't even remember the last time a woman even displayed anything resembling interest towards me either. Holy loving poo poo get therapy this is not normal. You are very clearly depressed.
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Feb 23, 2014 22:15
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4th Asclepiadean posted:Holy loving poo poo get therapy this is not normal. You are very clearly depressed. Replace E/N with this post please
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Feb 23, 2014 22:33
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4th Asclepiadean posted:Holy loving poo poo get therapy this is not normal. You are very clearly depressed. therapy isn't going to get him a better job or get him laid you dumb poo poo
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Feb 23, 2014 23:28
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g r r nasty posted:therapy isn't going to get him a better job or get him laid you dumb poo poo Haven't you ever heard of sex therapists? 
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Feb 23, 2014 23:29
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therapy can make you less of an offputting sadsack tho
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Feb 23, 2014 23:45
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i don't mean you personally raspy, you are beyond help
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Feb 23, 2014 23:46
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It's not the best thing OP but it's okay I guess
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Feb 24, 2014 03:46
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someone give a play by play of what virgins are missing during ages 16-26.
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Feb 24, 2014 04:46
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Its not so bad. you get a free cat after a few years.
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Feb 24, 2014 05:09
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1. Get into therapy 2. Have sex with your therapist
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Feb 24, 2014 11:10
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Ausmund posted:someone give a play by play of what virgins are missing during ages 16-26. Sex.
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Feb 24, 2014 11:54
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For all you virgoons trying out the sitting on the hand trick you should try sitting on your hand AND your dick untill they both go numb and it'll feel much more like the real experience i.e. you not being part of it
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Feb 24, 2014 12:21
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 nobody loving cares about incoming!Approaching 27. Trust issues. Low priority. I'd always regarded it as something I'd worry about dealing with if it ever came up. I entirely do not enjoy socializing in the ways most people seem to (bars, parties, etc.) Literally my only friends have been made online, but I've known most of them for 10+ years at this point and they're legitimately great people who are unfortunately scattered all across the states. I got a bit derailed last year though. Summary: girl I've known a couple years is in a hell of a funk bordering suicidal. I somehow manage to plumb myself sufficiently to be properly supportive and reassuring which is the single most exhausting but fulfilling thing I've ever experienced. I'm preparing to fly over and see her through a surgery. She decides she likes me. Things heat up a bit (she moves fast). Literally 24 hours after we decide we're an item her ex (who I've known for about as long, respected and was passing friends with too) springs out of the woodwork and spends the next week harassing her to the point of hysteria while she gives me false affirmations that she's done with him while repeatedly changing her mind about whether she loves or hates him and I'm shrieking at her to just let me go which she won't... ultimately culminating in a wet fart of a public meltdown on my own part after which she decides it was all my fault and I was so overreacting and she warned me this might happen (false) and why aren't I over it already jeez just go find another date no of course she had no responsibility in this scenario whatsoever and all the soul-rending poo poo I dragged from my last vestige of earnesty was completely without point. It really is amazing what a shitstorm can erupt from seemingly nothing. Which leaves me glad I didn't end up pursuing anything with her, but also leaves me minus a couple friends, an IRC hangout, and pretty much my last ounce of goodwill and trust for people outside my usual circle because I'm loving sick of it being used to make me into a doormat. Funnily enough said friends of mine have had nothing but similar experiences with otherwise sweet women who upon getting close suddenly erupt into crazy, emotionally (and sometimes money-) draining bitches and discard them. The concept of intimacy now actively terrifies me. Fun fact? Psychotherapy is several standards of living above my means and specifically not covered by pretty much any workplace medical plans around here that I'm aware of. And in response to the usual goon chorus of "just get a hooker", get hosed. Getting laid is not going to improve my self-image, fix my depression, or even register as a noteworthy life event if all I'm doing is basically masturbating with someone else's body. Call me old fashioned but I don't intend to stick my dick in anything I don't feel I might have some potential long-term compatibility with. So there, figured I might as well get my entire e/n history out of the way in one fell swoop. Feel free to spew your usual vitriol. I can still function at work, just let me grind myself slowly into the grave with the occasional company of my friends. I'm not going through that poo poo again. MonkeyforaHead fucked around with this message at 12:29 on Feb 24, 2014 |
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Feb 24, 2014 12:24
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Basscop posted:For all you virgoons trying out the sitting on the hand trick you should try sitting on your hand AND your dick untill they both go numb and it'll feel much more like the real experience OK, even I think this one is hilarious.
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Feb 24, 2014 12:53
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Man, sometimes you hook up with crazy chicks. poo poo happens. Pick up your balls and move on.
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Feb 24, 2014 12:53
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Zack_Gochuck posted:Man, sometimes you hook up with crazy chicks. poo poo happens. Pick up your balls and move on. It would perhaps be reassuring to have even a single example of a successful pairing present anywhere within my personal spectrum of perception. I literally have no precedent, even via proxy, other than abject failure and misery. And there aren't a whole lot of decent venues for shut-ins to mingle. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy than okcupid. ...or art forums, or whatever the hell else have you. tl;dr I really can't imagine it's worth it at this point MonkeyforaHead fucked around with this message at 13:03 on Feb 24, 2014 |
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Feb 24, 2014 12:57
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MonkeyforaHead posted:It would perhaps be reassuring to have even a single example of a successful pairing present anywhere within my personal spectrum of perception. I literally have no precedent, even via proxy, other than abject failure and misery. I met my totally normal fiance on okcupid and we've been together for 3.5 years at this point. Maybe try and develop some hobbies that don't involve sitting in front of the computer all day?
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Feb 24, 2014 13:34
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BuckarooBanzai posted:I met my totally normal fiance on okcupid and we've been together for 3.5 years at this point. Maybe try and develop some hobbies that don't involve sitting in front of the computer all day? I spent a little time with an environmental group that did silly poo poo like remove invasive ivy and populate rivers with dead fish for healthy bacteria, took rowing, ballroom dance, an animation workshop... hoping to get into art school later this year. A recurring trend seems to be that everyone is 10 years younger or 20 years older than me. Admittedly I do feel a little better just having vented. The problem is that that's been happening in regular cycles for about 10 months now. I'm not sure what it says about me that the only woman to ever notice me was a complete lost cause, and yeah I should probably be trying to find treatment one way or another but costs are fuuuuucked.
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Feb 24, 2014 13:46
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MonkeyforaHead posted:It would perhaps be reassuring to have even a single example of a successful pairing present anywhere within my personal spectrum of perception. I literally have no precedent, even via proxy, other than abject failure and misery. I can literally already see why you haven't got laid from only the phrase "successful pairing present anywhere within my personal spectrum of perception" and the Star Wars quote in your post. Incredible.
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Feb 24, 2014 13:54
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Jeza posted:I can literally already see why you haven't got laid from only the phrase "successful pairing present anywhere within my personal spectrum of perception" and the Star Wars quote in your post. I tend to overemphasize when I'm agitated, and you'd be hard pressed to argue the validity of the quote in this context. I don't go around belting stupid nerd quotes as a general habit. poo poo, I haven't even seen any of the Star Wars all the way through. Who the gently caress doesn't know that quote. My case isn't nearly riffable enough for this thread, apologies. Maybe I'll be back in a few years with fresh regrets, given that I've since gathered that the guy has done this to her something like 3 times already. MonkeyforaHead fucked around with this message at 14:13 on Feb 24, 2014 |
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Feb 24, 2014 13:56
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MonkeyforaHead posted:It would perhaps be reassuring to have even a single example of a successful pairing present anywhere within my personal spectrum of perception. I literally have no precedent, even via proxy, other than abject failure and misery. You'd have plenty of examples of "successful pairings" if you got out of your house and ditched your online friends for the company of actual people on a regular basis. There are plenty of couples out there. You being a shut-in is exactly why you only have online friends and don't meet women to date. Also, you're being used as a doormat because you're acting like one...becoming an emotional crutch for some online chick, flying out, etc. This thread has been incredibly amusing. Let's keep the stories rolling 
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Feb 24, 2014 14:21
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Fiki posted:You'd have plenty of examples of "successful pairings" if you got out of your house and ditched your online friends for the company of actual people on a regular basis. There are plenty of couples out there. You being a shut-in is exactly why you only have online friends and don't meet women to date. So if rowing, ballroom dancing, and throwing dead fish around doesn't attract the ladies then what the hell else is left? Fiki posted:Also, you're being used as a doormat because you're acting like one...becoming an emotional crutch for some online chick, flying out, etc. ...You know what, fair enough. I thought I was being nice to a friend who I recognized as having a similar dysfunction, but I guess there's a fine line. (Never even got as far as the flying out, though.)
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Feb 24, 2014 14:31
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How many virgoons have attempted to use online dating websites? How did it go?
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Feb 24, 2014 14:31
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pointsofdata posted:How many virgoons have attempted to use online dating websites? How did it go? Thanks for reminding me. Had an OKC account for something like 8 years, 0 responses, and the only person to contact me was a self-proclaimed "omnisexual" who had a thing for tentacles and MLP (perhaps not mutually exclusive). Who, very shortly after the attempt to contact me, must have had a friend proofread their profile because none of that was still there the next day.
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Feb 24, 2014 14:38
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MonkeyforaHead posted:...You know what, fair enough. I thought I was being nice to a friend who I recognized as having a similar dysfunction, but I guess there's a fine line. (Never even got as far as the flying out, though.) Line is pretty simple; would you do if tor a male friend? Be honest with yourself and try not to judge yourself too hard when the answer is 'no'.
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