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 Semifinals, Match Two Match Two, Junai (TurninTrix) vs. Dr Stranglelove (Anchors)  Hello again everyone, and WELCOME to the newest edition of Arena Challenge, where we'll be closing out the semifinals! Tonight, one will win, one will lose, but both fighters will get to fight another day because of the third-place match! With me as always is my colleague John Madden! And this should be a great fight here tonight, and... and, we invited Harry Caray back to do this match along with us, but he's not here in the booth, and I have no idea where he's gone off to. I think we lost him right around the time we passed one of the full bars here in the arena. These arenas have more than one full bar? Here in Dwarfhalla, John, the dwarves still maintain their priorities, even in the afterlife. Well, I can't argue with them for that, becaue these dwarves sure can make some good beer! I just hope Harry doesn't overdo it. Good luck with hoping for that, because I think you'll be disappointed. Now, John, there have been a lot of firsts here in these Arena semifinals. Yeah, that's true. Horza was the first unarmed fighter in the history of the Arena to get to the semifinals, and we all just saw him win that last match! The big question is, will he continue to go unarmed in the Finals? Well, I'd assume so, since he's been training for that for a long time now, and all of his skills have been built with that in mind up to this point. But maybe he'll change things up at the last minute to throw his opponent off-guard! You never know. I guess we'll find out soon enough! And the other first was his opponent Roctavian, who was by far the smallest fighter in Arena history to reach the semifinals of a one-on-one tournament! Yeah, and for all those kobolds, gnomes, and gremlins that have always had to leave these tournaments early, I think that guy did them proud. And even though he lost his last match, he'll still have the Third Place match after this one, so the action isn't over just yet for him! And here tonight, we have two firsts as well! Junai is the first female fighter in Arena history to reach the semifinals of a one-on-one tournament! Yeah, and, and... and there have been a lot of people over on those internet forums and message boards and whatnot who are following these matches, and they've all been talking about how her fighting is "striking a blow against the patriarchy". And... and to be honest, Al, I don't even know what that word "patriarchy" even means, but I do know this -- she's one hell of a fighter, and out of 128 fighters in this tournament, she's made her way into the top four, and there are 124 other fighters in this thing that can't say that. That's right, John, but she has her work cut out for her tonight -- as her opponent, Dr Stranglelove, like the other fighters in the semifinals, is also the first to have ever accomplished something! He's the first fighter in Arena history to be clad head-to-toe in Adamantine armor! Yeah, he's the first guy ever to wear a full suit of the blue stuff, whether we're talking about team tournaments, or one-on-one tournaments, and whether we're talking about the semifinals, the finals, the quarterfinals, or really ANY round of ANY tournament, he's the first! And another thing... if he wins tonight, he'll be the smallest fighter ever to reach the finals of a one-on-one tournament! Yes, he has the chance to represent the small guys in the finals, which is something Roctavian had hoped to do but couldn't! Let's have a look at the fighters! In the left corner, Junai is a female werewolf managed by TurninTrix, and she wields a steel Greataxe in one hand and a wooden shield in the other. She's wearing two layers of bronze headgear -- a cap beneath a helm, three layers of body protection -- a bronze mail shirt beneath a silver mail shirt beneath a steel breastplate, and bronze leggings, bronze gauntlets, and bronze high boots. And she's probably about as well-protected as she can be, because good armor is a whole lot more expensive for the larger fighters than it is for the smaller ones. Now, the quality of her armor doesn't come close to Stranglelove's. But she does have her size working for her, and as we've seen in this tournament so many times, a lot of times a size advantage can be the thing that decides the match. Over in the right corner, Dr Stranglelove is a male strangler managed by Anchors. He dual-wields steel picks, and wears a bronze mail shirt underneath a full suit of adamantine armor -- a helm, a breastplate, greaves, gauntlets, and high boots. And you know... even with Junai's massive size advantage, she's going to have a hard time hurting him through all of that. There's the bell, and the fighters are off! Dr Stranglelove is quite a bit faster out of the gate! Yeah, and that's because his armor weighs almost NOTHING. That adamantine he's wearing, that's pretty amazing stuff. Like they say, it's light like a feather and hard like a dragon's scales. Stranglelove swings one of his picks... but Junai parries the strike! And now Stranglelove is off-balance right as Junai is getting ready to charge! Junai charges and knocks Dr Stranglelove right on his back on the arena floor! That's the classic tactic that's won so many matches for so many of the larger fighters right there! Knock down your opponent, then have your way with them! Junai swipes a claw at the strangler, but there's no chance at all of that kind of attack getting through the adamantine shell! And you know, it's going to be really hard for her to get through that armor. But if she can keep her opponent on his back, she'll get more attacks than he will, so if she can keep doing that, it will give her the best chance to win this thing. Dr Stranglelove tries to get to his feet, right as Junai brings her steel greataxe down on him with all of her strength! Look out! This could be it! The blow doesn't hit squarely, and it's deflected by the adamantine armor! She's going to need a perfect hit to get through that armor, but if she can keep the strangler on his back, she'll have a much better chance to do just that. Stranglelove gets back to his feet, and the opponents circle each other in the center of the arena! Now Junai swings her axe, but the strangler nimbly leaps out of the way! And that right there is another great thing about adamantine. Not only does it protect you well, but it allows you to dodge, in a way that the heavier armors just can't. Heavy armor like steel, bronze, or iron can provide good protection, but doesn't let you dodge out of the way, at least not without a whole lot of expensive heavy armor training. Adamantine gives you the best of both worlds. Junai swings again, and it's another miss! And Junai has attempted five attacks in a row so far, to none by Stranglelove since that one opening miss, and none of Junai's five attacks have connected! But I still think this approach still gives her the best chance to win this. She has to keep making sure that her opponent can't strike back. Seeing an opening, Stranglelove swings a pick, but Junai blocks it with her shield! And the little guy isn't the only guy who has an effective defense! This could be a long match. Now Junai swings a mighty blow with her greataxe, but it glances off the adamantine again! And now she's off-balance! Stranglelove tries to counter, but Junai recovers just in time to jump away! We're seeing a lot of good defense in this match so far! Junai charges and swings her axe at the strangler, but again the axe glances off the adamantine armor! But her charge does manage to knock the little guy down! She's gotta keep doing that if she wants to have any chance of winning this thing. She swings her axe down at her foe, but he parries from the ground with his picks! And by my count, Junai is ahead 9-3 so far on "attempted strikes", but neither one has landed a hit yet! Dr Stranglelove gets right back to his feet, but gets knocked right back down again by another charge from Junai! The werewolf isn't taking any chances here! Junai strikes again and again, but Stranglelove is able to parry the blows over and over again from his back! And the few blows that he doesn't parry can't get through that armor! The strangler gets back up and swings both picks... but misses! Junai's ahead now 20-7 on attempted strikes, and still nobody has landed a hit! HEY! Is this the broadcast booth! We must be in the seventh inning by now. I brought you guys a couple of Budweisers. Isn't this something? I don't think I've ever seen 27 swings without a hit before! 27 without a hit! It's a no hitter! A no hitter! Hooo-ly cow! What a performance by Rick Sutcliffe! Oh, hey there, Harry! I heard they're having three beers for the price of one for the rest of the night. You should go back down there and check it out! Another beer sounds pretty good! I think I might do that! Cubs win! Cubs win! And while we were encouraging a drunken Harry Caray to leave the booth, Dr Stranglelove was knocked over again, and now... from his back, he swings one of his picks at Junai's leg, and finally lands a good shot that tears apart the calf muscle! The werewolf falls to the ground, and now the little guy has the advantage! From the ground, Junai swings her axe, but Stranglelove parries! Stranglelove counters, but Junai parries! And then the foes parry each other once again as Stranglelove gets back to his feet! And now the little guy has a huge advantage, now that he doesn't have to worry about getting knocked over anymore! That he does, John, and the first thing he does, standing over Junai, is to chop off her left foot with a pick! Now I wouldn't usually count a bigger fighter out after something like that. But against a fighter in full adamantine armor, I don't really see how Junai can come back to win this now.These are the contents of a single square of the arena floor:  Dr Stranglelove immediately presses the advantage, and chops off Junai's weapon hand with one of his picks! And at this point, it's just a formality. It looks like the strangler's got this. Stranglelove stands over his opponent and chops off her tail! And that's one more big werewolf artery pumping blood all over the arena floor. The strangler tries to sink a pick into Junai's heart, but she gets her shield up to block just in time! She blocked that, but she doesn't have much strength left! Dr Stranglelove sinks a pick into Junai's left thigh, opening up another artery! That's a whole lot of blood on the arena floor. I don't see how Junai can last much longer! Stranglelove chops off Horza's shield hand, and then her right foot! With her last breath, Junai angrily screams an imprecation at the strangler which I won't repeat here, before she finally bleeds to death! This match is over! This tournament isn't over for Junai, as she'll be resurrected to face Roctavian in the Bronze Medal Match. Dr Stranglelove becomes the first ever fighter smaller than a dwarf to reach the finals of a one-on-one tournament, where he'll be taking on Horza, the notorious troll wrestler! That should be a couple of very interesting matches! For John Madden, this is Al Michaels, wishing you all a good night from Dwarfhalla, where Dr Stranglelove has defeated Junai!Combat Log Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 09:10 on Apr 2, 2014 |
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Apr 2, 2014 09:01
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 16:06 |
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ZeeToo and Anchors, please update your fighters! Clockwork Gadget and TurninTrix do not need to update their fighters for the third place match, which will take place before the championship match. Final Round Schedule: Third Place Match: Roctavian vs. Junai Championship Match: Horza vs Dr Stranglelove
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Apr 2, 2014 09:15
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Aw.  You better choke that armored runt, Horza!
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Apr 2, 2014 10:37
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Full adamantium armor against an unarmed fighter in the finals? Holy poo poo. Edit: We cant place bets yet?
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Apr 2, 2014 13:42
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Spermy Smurf posted:Full adamantium armor against an unarmed fighter in the finals? Holy poo poo. This is about as close as we'll get to an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object. 
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Apr 2, 2014 13:51
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WOO! I bet everything on Stranglelove, and it paid off! WOO! Really nerve wrecking with that early stun... EDIT: How do you sever limbs with a pick? Don't picks do small area piercing damage? Iunnrais fucked around with this message at 14:24 on Apr 2, 2014 |
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Apr 2, 2014 14:14
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Iunnrais posted:WOO! I bet everything on Stranglelove, and it paid off! WOO! It's not the size of your impact area that matters, but how much flesh-rending force you put behind it. I'm so proud of my little guy. Also, sweet hell, Zeetoo is richer than god. Anchors fucked around with this message at 15:51 on Apr 2, 2014 |
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Apr 2, 2014 15:44
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Well, let's do this thing! Horza ready. 
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Apr 2, 2014 16:00
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Jazzimus Prime posted:Dr Stranglelove becomes the first ever fighter smaller than a dwarf to reach the finals of a one-on-one tournament I thought a strangler armed with flails won the last tournament?
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Apr 2, 2014 16:25
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Duckaerobics posted:I thought a strangler armed with flails won the last tournament? Not exactly. That was my fighter, Glen Starr, who won a side event run by Viola the Mad way back in 2011 in this thread.
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Apr 2, 2014 17:21
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Spermy Smurf posted:Full adamantium armor against an unarmed fighter in the finals? Holy poo poo. I had to wait for the fighters to update because of how I had designed the website.  That said, THE FINAL ROUND OF BETTING IS NOW OPEN!http://arenachallenge.com/dwarffort/place_bet.php?4 Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 20:05 on Apr 2, 2014 |
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Apr 2, 2014 19:28
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Am I going to get to re-bet my winnings if I bet it all on the 3rd place fight? Doing 3rd fight, then a wait, then 1st place matchup?
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Apr 2, 2014 20:06
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Spermy Smurf posted:Am I going to get to re-bet my winnings if I bet it all on the 3rd place fight? It's treated as a single round, so no re-betting winnings, unfortunately. I probably shouldn't have designed it that way but I'd have to go back and look over the code to change it Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 20:15 on Apr 2, 2014 |
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Apr 2, 2014 20:10
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Did the 3rd place fighters get to upgrade? This may influence my bet.
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Apr 2, 2014 21:00
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Man, that round left me broke. Almost nothing to bet on the finals. My last 100 dwarfbucks on the strangler!
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Apr 2, 2014 21:29
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Iunnrais posted:Did the 3rd place fighters get to upgrade? This may influence my bet. The 3rd place fighters did not get to upgrade. Only the championship match participants (Dr Stranglelove and Horza) were able to upgrade. Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 08:50 on Apr 3, 2014 |
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Apr 2, 2014 21:38
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Oh wow, it'll be interesting to see if anything can get through adamantine.
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Apr 3, 2014 01:59
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Horza's so much bigger, can't he basically just grab stranglelove and snap his arms and legs? How would armor even protect against that?
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Apr 3, 2014 04:04
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Ignite Memories posted:Horza's so much bigger, can't he basically just grab stranglelove and snap his arms and legs? How would armor even protect against that? Great question. Uh, maybe? I don't really know, to be honest. Stranglelove isn't exactly helpless though with those picks of his, and he's taken down plenty of larger opponents already. But maybe unarmed fighting would be more effective against adamantine armor than using a weapon? I guess we'll all find out soon enough. AND PLACE SOME MORE BETS, EVERYONE! I probably won't start the last two matches until AT&T hooks up broadband internet at my new house, which sounds like it will take another week at least (drat "facility issues"...  ). Until then, I only have slow-rear end cell phone tethering.
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Apr 3, 2014 08:21
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Jazzimus Prime posted:AND PLACE SOME MORE BETS, EVERYONE! I would, but those last two matches cleaned me out. Ah well, I will always remember being briefly third in the Arena Challenge rich list.
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Apr 3, 2014 12:35
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The good Dr. Stranglelove has provided for me so far, so I've bet every penny on him to win it all. Go big or go home. I have to say, a huge rear end wrestler is about the only thing that really counters an adamantine can since it doesn't really protect me from having all my joints broken and, ironically, getting strangled to death. That is to say, I'm glad the finale is going to as interesting as it is.
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Apr 3, 2014 14:57
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The odds are... somewhat stacked, I noticed. But while I might normally bet based on the odds alone, based on fight history, I can't bet anywhere but on the favorites. That said, if the odds get bucked, at this moment, Jazzimus is going to get a several THOUSAND to one return on his investment of 23 dwarfbucks.
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Apr 3, 2014 15:13
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Well, I'm all out of money, soooo...have fun, you guys.
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Apr 3, 2014 15:31
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I too have 0.0 dorfbux
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Apr 3, 2014 15:38
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I wouldn't be averse to giving out a one-time bonus of 100 dwarfbucks to everyone still following the thread, so long as nobody thinks it violates the spirit of the arrangement or anything.Iunnrais posted:That said, if the odds get bucked, at this moment, Jazzimus is going to get a several THOUSAND to one return on his investment of 23 dwarfbucks. I actually don't even want to win the betting title myself (it might lead to people questioning the integrity of the whole thing)... I just put a small bet on each underdog hoping to encourage others to do the same. Jazzimus Prime fucked around with this message at 15:46 on Apr 3, 2014 |
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Apr 3, 2014 15:44
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Make it rain, Jazzimus!
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Apr 3, 2014 15:48
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As a dedicated lurker who lost all his bux in the first round, I agree - make it rain!
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Apr 3, 2014 16:51
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Wow, I wish I could change my bet at this point. Dr Strangelove is so much a favorite that if somehow Horza won I would make a huge return on my last remaining dwarfbucks.
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Apr 3, 2014 16:54
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I'd even say make an equivalent of the "Salt Mines" from salty bet. A minimum balance that people cannot go below, so that you can always bet SOMETHING. Get more people participating.
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Apr 3, 2014 16:55
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In light of this startling disparity in bets, I have magnanimously bet ALL of my money on the humble Horza, as a show of support. All 10 bux worth. Come on troll, Daddy needs a new pair of menacing spikes for his spider-silk shoes!
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Apr 3, 2014 17:51
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Me and everybody like me posted:
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Apr 3, 2014 20:02
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Jazzimus Prime posted:I wouldn't be averse to giving out a one-time bonus of 100 dwarfbucks to everyone still following the thread, so long as nobody thinks it violates the spirit of the arrangement or anything. Honestly, I'd have been surprised if you didn't win the betting title. You're one of the only people who understands how this poo poo actually works. I'd be betting but I was super late to the party. Definitely gonna compete in the next round if I can, though.
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Apr 4, 2014 01:09
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Ignite Memories posted:Honestly, I'd have been surprised if you didn't win the betting title. You're one of the only people who understands how this poo poo actually works. It didn't help me at all and I designed the damned betting system. No, this is all up to the cursed RNG at the heart of DF. Ignite Memories posted:I'd be betting but I was super late to the party. Definitely gonna compete in the next round if I can, though. That just means you still have most (all?) of your money! That's a strong position. 
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Apr 4, 2014 01:13
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Well, I registered, but I don't seem to be able to bet. Which I guess is what I assumed would happen.
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Apr 4, 2014 04:47
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Jazzimus Prime posted:I wouldn't be averse to giving out a one-time bonus of 100 dwarfbucks to everyone still following the thread, so long as nobody thinks it violates the spirit of the arrangement or anything. Go for it! It's absolutely more interesting for more people to have more options. But, uh... I've placed my bets for this round. Sorry to... well, Anchors alone as the only other person who could win that (unless I decided to screw with him by throwing it into the third place match and thus giving one other person the chance), but I think I'm going to take the win on this one. I figured token bets on my picks would be more interesting than betting 1 more than anyone else could on everything and mathematically locking y'all out.
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Apr 4, 2014 05:58
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Ignite Memories posted:Well, I registered, but I don't seem to be able to bet. Which I guess is what I assumed would happen. You should be able to bet now. I'll try to pass out some free dwarfbucks to the thread participants tomorrow.
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Apr 4, 2014 06:59
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Jazzimus Prime posted:I'll try to pass out some free dwarfbucks to the thread participants tomorrow. Just not to Munki, tia.
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Apr 4, 2014 14:14
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Spermy Smurf posted:Just not to Munki, tia. Yeah, I don't want the free dwarfbucks, I just want you to transfer whatever Spermy Smurf has to my account.
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Apr 4, 2014 14:43
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Jazzimus Prime posted:You should be able to bet now. Kickass. All in on Horza. I want stranglelove to win, and now I'll be happy either way.
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Apr 5, 2014 01:13
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 16:06 |
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Sorry for the delay everyone, I was out of town for about a week. Users AJ_Impy, Anchors, Bad Munki, Duckaerobics, gbuchold, goatface, Ignite Memories, Iunnrais, Khisanth Magus, Locomotive breath, Maugrim, Podima, Spermy Smurf, TurninTrix, and ZeeToo have all been given a one-time bonus of 400 dwarfbucks to do with as they please! (Yes, the users who weren't broke got extra dwarfbucks too, because why should they be punished for winning?) However, users my dad and Glazius don't seem to be registered on the Arena Challenge site, so I couldn't give them any dwarfbucks. If anyone else is still following the thread and needs some extra dwarfbucks to bet with, just post in the thread and let me know!
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Apr 9, 2014 23:53
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