BlackMK4 posted:

ZTL

Slavvy posted:

That looks fantastic. Has the good qualities of the Japanese nakeds without being ridiculously cluttered and over-styled and looking like it'll turn into a robot and fly away. Reminds me of the old Tuono, just less awkward.

(don't hurt me aprilia brigade )

High Protein posted:

You're right, it does look relatively clean and un-insect-like, but it's still much busier than an XB; part of that is the exhaust, but also the little trellis frame under the seat. That's what I love about XBs, how clean and uncluttered they look. I never liked the look of the water cooled Buell swingarms either.

tarzanspuma posted:

Ah drat, I forgot how good those old XBs looked.

clutchpuck posted:

goddamnedtwisto posted:

I know I keep going on about this but this is the most egregious example of a completely ridiculous bee-sting tail I've ever seen. The rest of the bike looks meaty and heavily-constructed and the tail looks like an afterthought. Totally ruins the looks of the bike.

quote:

The sun is out. And you find yourself in your beige cage of a cubicle perusing the world's wide web. You find yourself with an overwhelming desire to be A BADASS. Well, lucky you, guy - knowing is nearly half the battle. This 1980 Vespa Sport 100 smallframe scooter is a KICKASS surefire method to transform a CANDY rear end into a HARD rear end. Its in good shape, runs well if you treat it well, has some cosmetic issues. It doesn't DRAG rear end, it fully and completely HAULS rear end. Its green, and goes by the name Kermit. Re-naming rights are sold with the lil buddy, but only a SMARTASS would consider renaming a 34 year old frog with the charm of a finely aged heavy metal thunder italiano scootmonster of doom. Not no LAME rear end knockoff Chinese ASSTASTIC poopscooter.

Engine:
Its a BIGASS 100cc engine, but the guy I bought it from put a cylinder kit on it, giving it a displacement of something more like a more BIGGER rear end 130cc. I haven't verified that information, but it certainly rides with more power than 100ccs could give it within earth's gravitational field, as verified by independent tests. Boobs. Wheelies are within the realm of possibility, should you find yourself desiring to open a can of WHOOP rear end. Nearly the same virility as a fine italian manliness fellow, but way super much less body hair.

A free tip from my wise wonderful world of wit and wisdom: you can't be a LAZY rear end, you have to be precise with the fuel/oil mixture, and you'd probably have to be willing to do a little trial and error to get the mixture even more perfect - no HALF-ASSing. 2 stroke engines can be like that, welcome to the Milky Way Galaxy of Two Wheeled Bitchin' Things. The mix I've found to give Kermit equilibrium is about 4.5 oz of oil per gallon of gas, or approx 28:1. Too little oil and it will overheat. Too much and it will stall when you give it gas - thus subjecting itself to the definition of a "LARD rear end". If you're not mixing gas, you're not HAULING rear end. Can you handle that? Great. If you can't...well, now I know to whom the flight attendees are giving seatbelt instructions.

On rare occasion, in a certain phase of the moon, it'll be a SMART rear end, and take some effort to start. I've found that this often just requires a spark plug check, and then will start right up. Not sure the BASS ACKWARDS exact mechanics of why - just gotta be a KISS rear end with it, and it gets its feelings in order and cooperates. Italians are not known to be self-starters. I cleaned the carb, tank, and petcock a few weeks ago and its currently a happy frog, starts on the first kick. I also put a new battery in it last summer (if you know what I mean . Typical bikes of the era still used 6v systems but this one runs on 12 volts - 100% increasing its ability to be more like a Tesla. Thats good news. Its also had a new SWEET rear end condenser installed in the past 100 miles.

Body:
Original paint is in pretty decent shape. A lower portion was painted over with newer paint before I owned it. There's a number of dings here and some easy minor cleanup so you can effectively brag to your newb friends about restoring it (See paragraph 1: BADASS). The rear view mirror has a crack in it. Overall, it looks good enough to take your 2nd best babe out to Dig The Pony.

Misc:
Couple things don't work, but its pretty old - most people who are pretty old don't work at all - they are retired. Well, this simple machine is far from retired, and there's not a ton of things that can go wrong. You won't have to BUST YOUR rear end. Its a 3 speed shifted on the left handlebar (clutch and gear shift both on the handlebar). Fancy. Espresso time, then pizza. Shifting all the way, mr. Italian (wo(man)). Kick start only - starters are for farters. Quit bein' a PANSY rear end, put on your big girl pants, and kick kick kick away!

Around 3500 miles on the odometer (WAIT WHAT THATS ALL???) HABLAS INGLES?? Yes, 3500 miles on the odometer. Needs new registration, but its a moped-ish creature, so the coppers wont give a RATS rear end (our legal department requires that we not personally disclaim this statement as a representation, warranty, or guarantee. Odds of winning are dependent on the total number of eligible entries received during the entry period. No purchase necessary, not available at all locations).

I've replaced both the headlight and taillight bulb in the last couple years. Horn doesn't work, so you won't have to worry about accidentally honking like a JACKASS, and though it has a switch for turn signals, there's no actual turn signal lights attached. Just use your hands, duh.

What you get besides the bike:
I have extra spark plugs and a throttle cable, a lock from my beard, a list of DUMB rear end palindromes, a hug, a JIVE rear end TURKEY. This and that. My pic gets yours.

This bike is near and dear to me, I've had it for about 5 years now and it was instrumental in misplacing my virginity. The price is $1800 - don't be a BROKE rear end TIGHT rear end...don't let 18 pieces of paper keep you from ruining your summer being a FATASS on the couch - the time to TEAR rear end is at hand. Oregon title in hand. These old Vespas are quirky, and you've got to get to know them to maintain a positive relationship, but they're fun as hell when they're running well.

Quit playing GRAB rear end. Email, text, or call.

High Protein posted:

the water cooled Buell swingarms

Sagebrush posted:

He just can't stop putting weird poo poo on his bikes, can he?

goddamnedtwisto posted:

I know I keep going on about this but this is the most egregious example of a completely ridiculous bee-sting tail I've ever seen. The rest of the bike looks meaty and heavily-constructed and the tail looks like an afterthought. Totally ruins the looks of the bike.

Z3n posted:

"I'd like one standardized unit of motorcycle, please. No, no need to make anything about it interesting or exceptional, I'll take the rehash, thanks."

It could really use some monster logos or something, I dunno.

Lurch posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHxR6rmmXNQ
Nitrous'd CR500 hillclimber

hot sauce posted:

hot sauce posted:

High Protein posted:

You're right, it does look relatively clean and un-insect-like, but it's still much busier than an XB; part of that is the exhaust, but also the little trellis frame under the seat. That's what I love about XBs, how clean and uncluttered they look. I never liked the look of the water cooled Buell swingarms either.

Sagebrush posted:

Here's a pretty horrible crash.

HNasty posted:

Ducati testing the new scrambler, I was all set to make fun of this thing being hipster bait but then it looks like in the spy shots they're dropping it with a air cooled motor. Not just any motor, it looks a lot like my DS1000 motor which is a bundle of good times, if this thing turns out to be a light weight, aircooled, fun bike I might have to take it serious. However the dumb single rotor brake and suptid handle bars make me think it's still just a marketing gimmick.

Oh I forgot, you should ignore the hilarious whatever that is stuck all over it.

HNasty posted:

Ducati testing the new scrambler, I was all set to make fun of this thing being hipster bait but then it looks like in the spy shots they're dropping it with a air cooled motor. Not just any motor, it looks a lot like my DS1000 motor which is a bundle of good times, if this thing turns out to be a light weight, aircooled, fun bike I might have to take it serious. However the dumb single rotor brake and suptid handle bars make me think it's still just a marketing gimmick.

Oh I forgot, you should ignore the hilarious whatever that is stuck all over it.

HNasty posted:

Ducati testing the new scrambler, I was all set to make fun of this thing being hipster bait but then it looks like in the spy shots they're dropping it with a air cooled motor. Not just any motor, it looks a lot like my DS1000 motor which is a bundle of good times, if this thing turns out to be a light weight, aircooled, fun bike I might have to take it serious. However the dumb single rotor brake and suptid handle bars make me think it's still just a marketing gimmick.

Oh I forgot, you should ignore the hilarious whatever that is stuck all over it.

MetaJew posted:

So it seems like they're going way overboard to hide what engine is being used. Some weird snorkel for intake and cooling, a ridiculous muffler, and hiding the frame.

Edit: Is the snorkel to hide intake noise, or just if it's air/water cooled?

MetaJew posted:

So it seems like they're going way overboard to hide what engine is being used. Some weird snorkel for intake and cooling, a ridiculous muffler, and hiding the frame.

Edit: Is the snorkel to hide intake noise, or just if it's air/water cooled?

Slavvy posted:

I don't understand why you have any doubts about it being a marketing gimmick. AFAIK the monster is a light aircooled bike.

Slavvy posted:

It's to make the rider look like as big a dickhead as Ducati's not-insubstantial R&D department can manage, just to see how much retarded styling owners will tolerate before losing their smug. If it pans out they'll use the technology on the next multistrada.

Skreemer posted:

ducati going after the hipster market maybe:

http://scramblerducati.com/

ScienceAndMusic posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WinhypBJhU

Me IRL

Elviscat posted:

"I need a lighter bike, this R6 is far too heavy for me to hold up with my scrawny legs"

Also, that video should make Razzled feel better, that guy didn't even make anywhere close to a mailbox.

M. Night Skymall posted:

That's basically what happened to me the first time I tried to ride my bike. It's hard to hold a bike up when you aren't used to it and can barely touch the ground. I did it with an old sv650 with frame sliders though and not a brand new R6. R6 has a seat height of 33.5 inches, my friend has one and was trying to get me to ride it around the block and it feels like I'm going to fall over as soon as I try to put a foot down to stop.

ScienceAndMusic posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WinhypBJhU

Me IRL

Elviscat posted:

I'm just all 'cause I'm 6'4 and can flatfoot anything and everything.

M42 posted:

Yeah, but kitchen counters are forever too short for you.

OSU_Matthew posted:

Oh, it's not the kitchen counter--public enemy number one is the kitchen chandelier... every day it brings me one step closer to the coma ward