|
Captain Melo posted:Agreed. I never understood some of the hate 50FA gets for his stories. I love them. Some people just don't get the concept of "war stories" (or at least I think that's what you people call sea stories). Yes, it's a blend of real experience, someone else's stories, and alterations to be more entertaining. You just loving enjoy it instead of whining about 100% accuracy like some dumb sperg.
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2014 03:56
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 29, 2024 09:14 |
|
|
Had a fucktard go and leave his weapon in the porter shitter. 1st BCT SGM had it in hand by the end of the day. How wonderful was that day, wonderful.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2014 03:56
|
|
|
Captain Melo posted:Agreed. I never understood some of the hate 50FA gets for his stories. I love them. People probably get annoyed that their real stories get upstaged by fake stories.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2014 03:59
|
|
|
Cojawfee posted:People probably get annoyed that their real stories get upstaged by fake stories. If someone can tell a story like 50FA I don't give a drat if its only about 30% truth.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2014 04:51
|
|
|
Here's a real army story for you: PDC Fuckface made a dick joke, we all laughed, and then someone pooped in an MRE box. The end. I'd rather read 50 Ft Ant stories all day. Been reading that poo poo since 2006. Never not loved it.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2014 05:29
|
|
|
Painsaw posted:I'd rather read 50 Ft Ant stories all day. Been reading that poo poo since 2006. Never not loved it. Same. I've got the Humper-Monkey stories saved in a .txt file as well somewhere.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2014 07:35
|
|
|
Humper Monkey http://sa.mrbill.net/humpermonkey.html http://sa.mrbill.net/humpermonkey2.html http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1854647&highlight= Blind Study Partner http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=2201461&highlight= Family has its trash Unicorn Gangstaa http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2345106&perpage=40&pagenumber=1 Street Sweeper Tales http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2411937 Syrian Lannister fucked around with this message at 10:03 on Jul 1, 2014 |
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2014 08:41
|
|
|
I've got a new one for yall. Two weekends ago Usfk went dry for a weekend, GO1 as a stand down to think about all the assholes loving it up. Apparently since you couldn't buy booze anywhere, and three days was too long to go sober for a comm troop (CST helpdesker), a group of geniuses decided to go robotrippin. Bought 4 bottles of robotussin and Gatorade, proceeded to party. Well apparently they made it known, so Monday morning word gets back to leadership and everyone rolls over except the one legitimate alcoholic who instigated it. He keeps denying his problem despite many "If you volunteer to go to ADAPT it won't be as bad" warnings. He somehow thought no one has any proof. So guess what, commanders can apparently pull your purchasing history from DECCA. He's slated for happy fun Correctional Custody ADAPT at Yongsan now. With typical USFK kneejerking I'm waiting for robotussin to be off limits. Fly High.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2014 09:08
|
|
|
nullscan posted:I've got a new one for yall. Was this our squadron because seriously gently caress us.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2014 10:00
|
|
|
50 Foot Ant posted:because they hide in the broom closet and cry (seriously, I've seen that more than once) Its a god drat shame you served back when they were still using the telegraph because I would pay decent money to have even shaky cell phone video of that posted on youtube.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2014 12:06
|
|
|
Bolow posted:I feel like all of 50FA stories are well told bullshit but there's a tiny part of me that knows it's still pretty feasible knowing how goddamn retarded the military is and the complete loving lunacy that was the cold war military Plus dude's a pretty great story teller
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2014 16:08
|
|
|
I pretty much believe everything he says.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2014 16:14
|
|
|
I don't get why people are convinced that they must be fake. This thread alone proves that either the entire armed forces of the world is full of major bullshitters, or the military is home to the dumbest idiots on the planet and they often manage to get away with it. The Stinky Samurai isn't really any more fantastic than most of the stuff that passes scrutiny with nary a glance, nor is the "I dropped my weapon to avoid dying and they tried to punish me for it".
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2014 17:09
|
|
|
chitoryu12 posted:I don't get why people are convinced that they must be fake. This thread alone proves that either the entire armed forces of the world is full of major bullshitters, or the military is home to the dumbest idiots on the planet and they often manage to get away with it. The Stinky Samurai isn't really any more fantastic than most of the stuff that passes scrutiny with nary a glance, nor is the "I dropped my weapon to avoid dying and they tried to punish me for it".
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2014 17:25
|
|
|
chitoryu12 posted:I don't get why people are convinced that they must be fake. This thread alone proves that either the entire armed forces of the world is full of major bullshitters, or the military is home to the dumbest idiots on the planet and they often manage to get away with it. The Stinky Samurai isn't really any more fantastic than most of the stuff that passes scrutiny with nary a glance, nor is the "I dropped my weapon to avoid dying and they tried to punish me for it". I almost got an article 15 for losing a non-classified software install cd, so go gently caress yourself
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2014 17:54
|
|
|
chitoryu12 posted:I don't get why people are convinced that they must be fake. This thread alone proves that either the entire armed forces of the world is full of major bullshitters, or the military is home to the dumbest idiots on the planet and they often manage to get away with it. The Stinky Samurai isn't really any more fantastic than most of the stuff that passes scrutiny with nary a glance, nor is the "I dropped my weapon to avoid dying and they tried to punish me for it". I almost went to mast (did go to XOI) and would have lost rank & had restricted duty for telling a chief to gently caress off under my breath, he didn't even hear it but some hard charging first class did and wrote me up. So ya punishment can and does happen for some of the dumbest poo poo.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2014 18:01
|
|
|
Fart Cannon posted:I almost got an article 15 for losing a non-classified software install cd, so go gently caress yourself I'm not sure if you noticed, but you're actually agreeing with my point: nothing that 50FA has said is any different from what regularly gets posted in here that nobody questions. He's a good writer and puts more detail into stuff, but "I almost got punished for cussing under my breath" isn't a whole lot different from "I almost got punished for ditching my rifle while drowning" or "My buddy DID get punished for losing his NVGs after getting hit by a bomb", which was posted early in this thread. Or the guy who managed to get promoted to E-7 after proving to his buddy that he shouldn't wear his knife on his chest by stabbing him with it, which literally zero people accused of being fake. I just don't get why he gets accused of making up poo poo when the only thing different from other stories is better writing and longer posts.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2014 19:23
|
|
|
Because reading is gay.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2014 19:51
|
|
|
...
Nostalgia4ColdWar fucked around with this message at 02:33 on Mar 31, 2017 |
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2014 19:52
|
|
|
I want to have a beer with you 50FA. And I don't even drink.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2014 20:37
|
|
|
I remember as a kid my dad would volunteer to do CQ atleast every other Friday night as a 1st Sgt because no one would dare gently caress around the nights he was in the barracks, much less even come down to the desk for any reason. Plus it got him out of the house when my mom first started going crazy religious. He'd bring me and my brother and we'd play Mech Warrior 2 and TIE Fighter all night on the computers they has set up. Honestly those are some of my favorite childhood memories now that I think about it
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2014 20:50
|
|
|
Lol @ plebs getting yelled at for yelling at ncos and officers Medic life, smoke weed and nobles everyday
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2014 22:03
|
|
|
My favorite medic told me not to ask him why he knows that spinal fluid tastes like bananas. He also had a funny way of telling people how he lost a finger.
|
|
#
?
Jul 1, 2014 22:10
|
|
|
nullscan posted:I've got a new one for yall. Only USAF went dry by order of the 7th AF CDR. This wasn't USFK-wide. And you will not find a single Korean market that isn't going to sell you beer or booze regardless of GO 1 being in effect. So, yea, this was just a group of idiots being idiots. Also, commanders can't pull *what* you bought from the commissary, because the system doesn't track that. It tracks *how much* you spent at the commissary and how much you purchased against your alcohol rations. The system is PIMS-K and anybody with a CAC can log in and use it. https://pimsk.korea.army.mil/ buttplug fucked around with this message at 00:10 on Jul 2, 2014 |
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2014 00:06
|
|
|
EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:My favorite medic told me not to ask him why he knows that spinal fluid tastes like bananas. 
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2014 01:33
|
|
|
Ask him about the psychological damage you can do with a glove full of Surgilube during an over 40 physical.
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2014 01:39
|
|
|
Booblord Zagats posted:I remember as a kid my dad would volunteer to do CQ atleast every other Friday night as a 1st Sgt because no one would dare gently caress around the nights he was in the barracks, much less even come down to the desk for any reason. Plus it got him out of the house when my mom first started going crazy religious. He'd bring me and my brother and we'd play Mech Warrior 2 and TIE Fighter all night on the computers they has set up. My mom did this poo poo in the navy in Kingsville NAS and it was pretty dope. The pilots hooked me up with cool poo poo. Even got to play around in one of the A-6 IFR simulators (I think). Probably wasn't even on but it was pretty awesome. 
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2014 03:09
|
|
|
My mom worked at billiting when I was a child. Child care was expensive so sometimes shed take me to the base to play arcade games or make sand castles at the volly ball pit. Hanging out with old philipino women who stole beer out of the officers fridges was p cool.
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2014 04:10
|
|
|
Wasabi the J posted:My mom did this poo poo in the navy in Kingsville NAS and it was pretty dope. The pilots hooked me up with cool poo poo. It wasn't on a base, but Otronicon used to have some military simulators on display during their yearly event that guests could use. The AH-64 gunner's position isn't too difficult to get a handle on when it comes to "Shoot this target". Everything else, that's a different story. Unfortunately, the ghost of Otronicon past is long gone. Now the simulators are mostly commercial flight sims hooked up to unfinished sim cockpits (rarely anything beyond the stick, throttle, and rudder pedals) and a bunch of laptops running a session of VBS 2. Even the virtual shooting range steadily disappeared, going from 8 lanes with M4s and M9s all competing for accuracy (with unauthorized playing around on the simulated battles late at night) to one M4 with 10 rounds to fire to nothing.
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2014 04:19
|
|
|
buttplug posted:Only USAF went dry by order of the 7th AF CDR. This wasn't USFK-wide. True, but they wound up getting the cops involved. So that's maybe how they pulled the records. My bad.
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2014 04:32
|
|
|
A tale of three morons and a 19 year old stripper. It starts with moron #1 who has a favorite stripper. He takes moron #2 to the strip club who meets the stripper and starts dating her. Moron #2 brings the stripper to the holiday party where Moron #3 has brought his 19 year old, drunk ex-girlfriend. Moron #3's underage, drunk ex-girlfriend gets kicked out by the management of the place where the party was held. Morons 2 and 3 live with each other. Stripper starts dating moron 3 while still getting boned by moron 2 on the side. Moron 3 recently married the stripper and currently has orders to Korea. Waiting to see how long this lasts.
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2014 05:10
|
|
|
Cojawfee posted:A tale of three morons and a 19 year old stripper. It starts with moron #1 who has a favorite stripper. He takes moron #2 to the strip club who meets the stripper and starts dating her. Moron #2 brings the stripper to the holiday party where Moron #3 has brought his 19 year old, drunk ex-girlfriend. Moron #3's underage, drunk ex-girlfriend gets kicked out by the management of the place where the party was held. Morons 2 and 3 live with each other. Stripper starts dating moron 3 while still getting boned by moron 2 on the side. Moron 3 recently married the stripper and currently has orders to Korea. Enlisted. Enlisted never change.
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2014 05:18
|
|
|
can't wait to see#1 and #2 go family style and get NJP'd for adultery
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2014 09:14
|
|
|
Cojawfee posted:A tale of three morons and a 19 year old stripper. It starts with moron #1 who has a favorite stripper. He takes moron #2 to the strip club who meets the stripper and starts dating her. Moron #2 brings the stripper to the holiday party where Moron #3 has brought his 19 year old, drunk ex-girlfriend. Moron #3's underage, drunk ex-girlfriend gets kicked out by the management of the place where the party was held. Morons 2 and 3 live with each other. Stripper starts dating moron 3 while still getting boned by moron 2 on the side. Moron 3 recently married the stripper and currently has orders to Korea. With different names this story has been told a hundred thousand times. God bless ye, lower enlisted.
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2014 10:37
|
|
|
Replace stripper with juicy and the stories are innumerable.
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2014 11:31
|
|
|
My supervisor in 2012 got herp from a juicy, then almost married her until he went on a surprise visit to her home in the Philippines and met her husband.
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2014 14:14
|
|
|
nullscan posted:USFK United States FliegerKorps? I don't get how a couple of 5-ton trucks falling off a pontoon bridge is an unbelievable story.
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2014 15:36
|
|
|
Arglebargle III posted:United States FliegerKorps? US Forces Korea.
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2014 17:17
|
|
|
Arglebargle III posted:United States FliegerKorps? Remember one of the first casualties in OIF was a tank driving off a bridge into a river and the other tanks not noticing until they got where they were going.
|
|
#
?
Jul 2, 2014 19:11
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 29, 2024 09:14 |
|
|
I wonder what 50 foot ant and humper monkey were like together as kids
|
|
#
?
Jul 3, 2014 00:54
|
|