Sega Saturn is the best console

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Imp Zone > Sega Saturn is the best console

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Great Joe: Aug 13, 2008

"[img posted:

http://i.somethingawful.com/images/platinum-member.png[/img] Sombrerotron" post="433567989"]
this fred made me remember http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NV1

playing saturn games on your pc in '95 must've been fairly hot poo poo

Great Joe fucked around with this message at 22:31 on Aug 15, 2014

# ? Aug 15, 2014 22:27

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# ? May 7, 2024 17:47

Sombrerotron: Aug 1, 2004; Release my children! My hat is truly great and mighty.

# ? Aug 15, 2014 22:48

liquid courage: Aug 12, 2011

but op, so many of the good saturn games are either on pc or playstation or dreamcast. it's the one console other than maybe the master system that i'm pr sure i'll never own.

# ? Aug 15, 2014 23:30

Sizone: Sep 13, 2007; by LadyAmbien

The op contains about 640 words. P sure no one who has posted in this thread, other than me, bothered to read it.
I shared the goddamn secret to accessing ultimate reality and you all poo poo it up with off topic blind links to songs on youtube. You know what, you quasiliterate nerds don't deserve Saturnlightenment.

# ? Aug 16, 2014 02:22

Kazvall: Mar 20, 2009

gently caress you op for needing validation. I enjoyed the 640 words. In summation: get swole.

# ? Aug 16, 2014 02:28

chaosbreather: Dec 9, 2001; Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.

i think i managed to decode the op and now i agree

Sizone posted:

I love my girlfriend and I got to thinking what it was the best girlfriend at/for.
For some girlfriends this is easy to figure out. One girlfriend had the highest ratio of absolute classics to lovely/mediocre sex, the best library to lifespan ratio and the best peripherals, so it is the best at a lot of things. My first girlfriend has probably the most nostalgia going for it, so it is the best at nostalgia. Another girlfriend has the best pussy in its sex, so it has the best pussy. If you think about it, there's something every girlfriend does best.
I could not figure out what the girlfriend was best at. Most successful in Japan while flopping hardons in U.S.? Nope, that's what the gays are best at. Best shmups? Ehhhnnn... Kind of, but it would be contestable with my last girlfriend. You could say best gender conversion, but then you could also say is best conversion even a thing?
So the girlfriend's got to be best at something, but what?

It isn't the best sound
it isn't the best boobs
it isn't the best sex
it isn't the weirdest sex

The girlfriend is one of the best at all these things, but not objectively the best at any of them.

I was thinking about this problem when it dawned on me. The girlfriend is too advanced to be fully appreciated through ordinary human experience. As I was having sex, I unfurled and pulled out my sixth sense organ, my respect. Not in any kind of masturbatory way, just to allow myself the full force of the girlfriend experience. And experience it I did. I don't know of any rational way to explain it, maybe it was gentle vibrations from the vagina, or maybe it was the particular timbres and pitches, sounds or vibrations that I had previously been unable to experience because my respect was inside my trousers. These novel sensations, received by my antenna like respect triggered further perceptual enhancements. Colors became more vivid, Sprite more carbonated. The relationship was, all a sudden, like a symphony, both in it's intricacy, complexity and beauty and in the sense of physical engulfment that comes from from attending the performance of an ensemble that size. It felt as though I was bathed in the sound of the girlfriend, that the images of the girlfriend had become more detailed and real than mundane reality. I had to turn it off, it had overwhelmed me.

A little later, after my nerves had settled, I played the rusty trombone with my respect out. Again, the same ecstatic experience, but this time I let myself become fully immersed in the girlfriend. The experience was a full simulation of reality. I was fighting fires with lasers, I was jumping and gliding with a tiny jet pack, I was reading e-mails.

Now, for sure, I was thinking that this is some kind of anime girl sex response so, as a control, I tried out mowing the lawn. The experience was just as intense. I could smell the fresh cut grass, feel the sun on my back, feel the track crush and grind beneath my feet, I could feel my muscles strain as I swung the lawnmower and ran from tree to tree. This time, though, something had changed. I had a massive erection. I began to feel things I hadn't previously, heats and caresses. The mower's voice began to speak to me only in whispers and moans. As the lawnmowing wrapped up and the girlfriend beat my face, I came. Not once, but dozens of times in a orgasm that seemed to last an eternity.

Now, I come to you, my internet friends, to share this revelation.
The girlfriend is the best girlfriend to play with you respect out.

# ? Aug 16, 2014 02:37

mabels big day: Feb 25, 2012

Mr Tastee posted:

Everyone loves Segata Sanshiro, but the American Saturn promo was the superior one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjK0P_Qz0SA

came here to post this

# ? Aug 16, 2014 02:49

Seshoho Cian: Jul 26, 2010

Sizone posted:

The op contains about 640 words. P sure no one who has posted in this thread, other than me, bothered to read it.
I shared the goddamn secret to accessing ultimate reality and you all poo poo it up with off topic blind links to songs on youtube. You know what, you quasiliterate nerds don't deserve Saturnlightenment.

look at this noob who hasn't enabled embedded youtube videos

# ? Aug 16, 2014 10:23

Sizone: Sep 13, 2007; by LadyAmbien

Seshoho Cian posted:

look at this noob who hasn't enabled embedded youtube videos

man, that really sounds more like the kind of thing you'd try really hard to keep disabled.

# ? Aug 16, 2014 11:40

01011001: Dec 26, 2012

Seshoho Cian posted:

look at this noob who hasn't enabled embedded youtube videos

i tried embedded youtube videos for awhile and then i turned it off after i opened one of these kinds of threads and my browser shat a brick

# ? Aug 16, 2014 16:13

surc: Aug 17, 2004

01011001 posted:

i tried embedded youtube videos for awhile and then i turned it off after i opened one of these kinds of threads and my browser shat a brick

I did this but then I turned them back on for Imp Zone and have been having a blast ever since.

# ? Aug 16, 2014 16:53

But Rocks Hurt Head: Jun 30, 2003; by Hand Knit; Pillbug

Sizone posted:

The op contains about 640 words. P sure no one who has posted in this thread, other than me, bothered to read it.
I shared the goddamn secret to accessing ultimate reality and you all poo poo it up with off topic blind links to songs on youtube. You know what, you quasiliterate nerds don't deserve Saturnlightenment.

# ? Aug 16, 2014 17:46

Wrath of the Bitch King: May 11, 2005; Research confirms that black is a color like silver is a color, and that beyond black is clarity.

the world didn't deserve saturnlightenment, which is why it crashed and burned so hard

# ? Aug 16, 2014 19:47

dendy crew: Jun 1, 2011; Dendy!, Dendy!, We love Dendy! Dendy - Everyone plays it!

https://twitter.com/Hideki_Naganuma/status/499969260429385729

# ? Aug 16, 2014 23:21

JethroMcB: Jan 23, 2004; We're normal now.
We love your family.

dendy crew posted:

https://twitter.com/Hideki_Naganuma/status/499969260429385729

what's cool about Hideki is that if you so much as say his name on twitter he will RT you in mutual ego masturbation

# ? Aug 16, 2014 23:35

SpaceAceJase: Nov 8, 2008; and you
have proved
to be...

a real shitty poster,
and a real james

Please post a list of decent saturn games that aren't just arcade ports kthx

# ? Aug 17, 2014 02:36

Neurolimal: Nov 3, 2012

SpaceAceJase posted:

Please post a list of decent saturn games that aren't just arcade ports kthx

assault suit leynos 2
herc's adventure (psx port is shite that was rushed out to save the game from sinking with the saturn)
bulk slash
dragon force
i'd say guardian heroes but the xbla port was pretty drat good
shining force 3
super tempo
the legend of oasis
burning rangers

thats the pretty-dang-good saturn exclusive titles i can remember (though i tend to skew towards lesser known stuff instead of classics), if you remove the not-arcade requirement there's a bunch of superior-to-arcade titles like chaos seed, battle garegga, and sol divide, if you actually go for just "decent" and not pretty good you can add a bunch more on top of that

p much the only system without more than one gem is the n-gage (even that has Rifts, though)

# ? Aug 17, 2014 03:07

SpaceAceJase: Nov 8, 2008; and you
have proved
to be...

a real shitty poster,
and a real james

thanks

I actually own two saturns, a black PAL and a white J-NTSC. im actually looking for decent games with a bit of depth

# ? Aug 17, 2014 03:51

Sizone: Sep 13, 2007; by LadyAmbien

astal
panzer dragoon anything (especially saga)
3 DIRTY DWARFS

there's a bunch of stuff that's good, but not great, or noteworthy, but not really good. magic knight rayearth is good, bulk slash is good, a lot of the sort of generic space harrier/fmv kind of games are fun, solar eclipse, off world interceptor, stuff like that. mr. bones isn't fun, but it looks amazing and is one of the weirdest things ever made.

doesn't really matter, whatever you play,as lon as you play it naked, you'll see the face of god when you do.

# ? Aug 17, 2014 08:25

Seshoho Cian: Jul 26, 2010

you missed Silhouette Mirage, which is like Gunstar Heroes with the red/blue dynamic of Ikaruga

# ? Aug 17, 2014 12:23

SpaceAceJase: Nov 8, 2008; and you
have proved
to be...

a real shitty poster,
and a real james

I just played clockwork knight and it was the biggest piece of trash ever. Especially compared to donkey Kong country which had tight controls and smooth animation.

And they made a sequel wth

# ? Aug 17, 2014 14:32