it's buttcoin.gov now

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > it's buttcoin.gov now

«‹›236 »

Bloody: Mar 3, 2013

QuarkJets posted:

That's not even a complete sentence

sure it is

gently caress is sake

# ? Sep 4, 2014 05:13

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 16:07

theflyingorc: Jun 28, 2008; ANY GOOD OPINIONS THIS POSTER CLAIMS TO HAVE ARE JUST PROOF THAT BULLYING WORKS; Young Orc

TVarmy posted:

i mean, i guess we could have his passion followed by intense doubt make him more accurately bitcoin apostle thomas but i'm not sure if this thread on the yospos funny computer forum wants to talk theology right now. also why is it that the apostles all have boring rear end names but one of their dads is named Zebedee, which is a rad name?

FUN FACT: there wasn't anyone who hung out with Jesus named James, they changed that dude's name to make king james happy (he was actually named jacob)

# ? Sep 4, 2014 05:18

dubzee: Oct 23, 2008

if you haven't read Mr. Shitcoin's articles you are missing out:
Under The Microscope, based on his paper An Order-of-Magnitude Estimate of the Relative Sustainability of the Bitcoin Network - 2nd Edition

Mr. Shitcoin, Part One posted:

In fact, my research found that widely-available public information strongly refutes claims that bitcoin is unsustainable, and shows that the social, environmental and economic impacts are a minuscule fraction of the impacts that the legacy wealth and monetary systems have on both our society and environment.

...

Because bitcoin is resistant to transactional fraud and all transactions can be traced through its public ledger, there are no adverse social externalities or costs arising directly or indirectly from bitcoin mining.

...

For the purposes of this order of magnitude comparative study, I will assume that the industry is not efficient, and average network energy efficiency is at the high end, 1.1 W/GH � 30% less efficient than the KnCMiner Neptune units.

This generous allowance will also cover the impact of producing the ASICs, as several studies show that the gross majority of impact made by electronics happens during their use, and not during production.

Also, 98% of electronic waste is completely recyclable (MRI, 2014).

that last bit seemed pretty :vince:

so i checked his source and welp

mri.com.au posted:

If it plugs in or has batteries � we can recycle it! Our EPA licensed processes achieve up to 98% diversion from landfill.

of course "98% completely recyclable" is a half truth and fuckin lol if you think for a second all those beat asics piled up across china are going to an iso certified recycler

also he doesn't provide any info re: "several studies show that the gross majority of impact made by electronics happens during their use, and not during production."

don't want to quote anymore because the whole thing is just :allears:

check out his "research" if you want the purestrain crazy tho, there are many helpful graphs

# ? Sep 4, 2014 05:33

Dixie Cretin Seaman: Jan 22, 2008; all hat and one catte; Hot Rope Guy

if a meteor is falling to earth then it appears to be rising... from an observer on the moon

# ? Sep 4, 2014 05:44

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

has anyone considered what might happen if you combined anime with revolutionary blockchain technology?

# ? Sep 4, 2014 05:49

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

QuarkJets posted:

has anyone considered what might happen if you combined anime with revolutionary blockchain technology?

the woolong device?!?

# ? Sep 4, 2014 05:50

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

how is barabbas crucified

how thief get exacute

# ? Sep 4, 2014 05:59

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

oh wait that wasnt barabbas

also i guess the thread has moved on oh well :shrug:

# ? Sep 4, 2014 06:00

The Wurst Poster: Apr 8, 2005; Literally the Wurst...

Seriously...

For REALSIES.

Boxturret posted:

the woolong device?!?

what is that? a japanese penis pump?

# ? Sep 4, 2014 06:19

theflyingexecutive: Apr 22, 2007

Snapchat A Titty posted:

how is barabbas released

how bandit get pardan

# ? Sep 4, 2014 06:35

jony ive aces: Jun 14, 2012; designer of the lomarf car; Buglord

Sham bam bamina! posted:

*I made a new account to segregate it from my identifiable one.*

This story happened to me during the summer of 2012. I was a 23 year old French

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31g0YE61PLQ

# ? Sep 4, 2014 07:59

jony ive aces: Jun 14, 2012; designer of the lomarf car; Buglord

like, sorry for posting a lovely youtube meme

but NO

# ? Sep 4, 2014 08:01

wynott dunn: Aug 9, 2006; What is to be done?

Who or what can challenge, and stand a chance at beating, the corporate juggernauts dominating the world?

Boxturret posted:

the woolong device?!?

did anyone save the .doc with the original plans for the woo-loo-loo device? those were a good laugh

# ? Sep 4, 2014 09:57

Wheany: Mar 17, 2006; Spinya^{ha^{ha^haha}ha}ha_{ha_{ha_haha}ha}ha!; Doctor Rope

Herman Merman posted:

Political party Bitcoinpartiet created in Sweden! (bitcoinpartiet.se)
submitted 13 hours ago by Cocosoft

[�]bitemperor -1 points 6 hours ago
How about start a pro bitcoin, anti immigration party in the nordic countries?

bitcoinpartiet: pro-bitcoin, sure, obviously. anti-immigration: :confused:

# ? Sep 4, 2014 09:59

sleepy gary: Jan 11, 2006

Wheany posted:

bitcoinpartiet: pro-bitcoin, sure, obviously. anti-immigration:

Anti-immigrant sentiment is rising in Europe so maybe he is trying to tap into that.

# ? Sep 4, 2014 10:05

suffix: Jul 27, 2013; Wheeee!

dubzee posted:

if you haven't read Mr. Shitcoin's articles you are missing out:
Under The Microscope, based on his paper An Order-of-Magnitude Estimate of the Relative Sustainability of the Bitcoin Network - 2nd Edition

quote:

When one considers Koomey�s Law, we can expect energy/GH to continue to half every 18 months until 2048.
This means that we can expect our current industry best efficiency of 0.733 W/GH to reach
0.0000000873804 W/GH � so even the most ignorant, arrogant, narrow-minded and pseudo-
intellectual critics and arm-chair academics should note that in the event that Bitcoin scales to a million
times its current size and market cap over the next 30 years, it�s environmental impact will still be
insignificant compared to existing systems. When considering Moore�s Law, we can expect $/GH to
continue to half every 18 months until at least 2020. When we consider the advent of decentralised
emission-free renewable energy, we can expect tCO2/GH, and possibly even $/kWh, to tend towards zero.

sure in 2048 miners will still be spending the same stupid amounts of energy and money, but they'll be throwing away a billion times more hashes

that means bitcoin is energy efficient :smug:

# ? Sep 4, 2014 10:46

Greyhawk: May 30, 2001

if anything i'm impressed by the sheer chuzpe

quote:

we should stop buying things with bitcoin unless... (self.Bitcoin)
submitted 36 minutes ago by michelmx

merchants share the benefits with their customers. I am not only talking about the 2% transaction fee's they are saving. I think the real benefit for merchants is in the non recourse nature of bitcoin. The cost of charge backs and other fraud is far greater then the 2% fee discount. By paying with bitcoin we put a lot of trust in a vendor and I want to be rewarded for that by receiving a discount of at least 5%. Bitcoin has no real utility for western consumers without systematic discounts.

# ? Sep 4, 2014 11:59

Antlerhill: Nov 6, 2012; Smellrose

suffix posted:

so even the most ignorant, arrogant, narrow-minded and pseudo-intellectual critics and arm-chair academics should note

well at the very least he has the petty name calling part of a proper academic paper down

# ? Sep 4, 2014 12:33

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

Greyhawk posted:

if anything i'm impressed by the sheer chuzpe

bitcoins appeal to a lot of already stupid people. a lot of stupid bitcoin is really just stupid libertarian or stupid freeman-on-the-land or stupid stem supremacist, but with bitcoin.

but this is a 100% homegrown Dumb Bitcoin Thought. :unsmith:

# ? Sep 4, 2014 12:37

TVarmy: Sep 11, 2011; like food and water, my posting has no intrinsic value

look, you get into bitcoin because you are smart enough to detect scams in advance unlike a sheeple who just gives every yokel his credit card numbers and charges back any charges he dislikes.

because of this, a true bitcoiner is never scammed and should be paid for his merit (brains).

if you get scammed your not a real bitcoiner and were a nontechnical speculator who would have panic sold anyway. u probably don't even use a Linux, the only hackproof os.

# ? Sep 4, 2014 13:17

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

let's check my email, oh, what's this

# ? Sep 4, 2014 13:42

MORE CURLY FRIES: Apr 8, 2004

Just-In-Timeberlake posted:

let's check my email, oh, what's this

those are tweets

# ? Sep 4, 2014 13:49

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

Mulatto Butts posted:

did anyone save the .doc with the original plans for the woo-loo-loo device? those were a good laugh

the diagram is literally made with ms paint default shapes

# ? Sep 4, 2014 14:15

Dixie Cretin Seaman: Jan 22, 2008; all hat and one catte; Hot Rope Guy

Just-In-Timeberlake posted:

let's check my email, oh, what's this

say did they ever launch that bitcoin satellite

# ? Sep 4, 2014 14:43

jony ive aces: Jun 14, 2012; designer of the lomarf car; Buglord

Boxturret posted:

Woolong Financial

now i know why dave chappelle had that meltdown and cancelled his show

# ? Sep 4, 2014 14:46

MORE CURLY FRIES: Apr 8, 2004

i forget what this was for bit it was for a bitcoin thing

# ? Sep 4, 2014 14:53

sharknado slashfic: Jun 24, 2011

Brain working

sharknado slashfic fucked around with this message at 15:12 on Sep 4, 2014

# ? Sep 4, 2014 14:59

MORE CURLY FRIES: Apr 8, 2004

oh good you posted that creepy thing that people said not to post again well done

# ? Sep 4, 2014 15:00

sharknado slashfic: Jun 24, 2011

Boxturret posted:

you could have always exited the reply window

Quiet you. Anyhow its been dealt with let's move on to talking about meteors or whatever

# ? Sep 4, 2014 15:12

Owlofcreamcheese: May 22, 2005; Can't post for 9 years!; Buglord

I am a time-traveler from the future, here to beg you to stop what you are doing. (self.Bitcoin)
submitted 1 year ago by Luka_Magnotta
I am sending this message from the year 2025. Things are looking bleak here, and some of you will carry blood on your hands.
If you don't believe me, please move on, as I have no way of proving to you I'm really who I claim to be.
I don't want to waste any of your time, so I'm merely going to explain what happened.
On average, every year so far, the value of Bitcoin has increased by about a factor ten. From 0.1 dollar in 2010, to 1 dollar in 2011, to 10 dollar in 2012, to 100 dollar in 2013. From now on, there's a slight slowdown, as the value increased by a factor ten every two years, to 1,000 dollar in 2015, to 10,000 in 2017, 100,000 in 2019, and 1,000,000 in 2021. From here onwards, there's no good way of expressing its value in dollars, as the dollar is no longer used, nor is any central bank issued currency for that matter. There are two main forms of wealth in today's world. Land and cryptocurrency.
There are just over 19 million Bitcoin known to be used in the world today, as well as a few hundred thousand that were permanently lost, and we're still dealing with a population of just over 7 billion people today. On average, this means the average person owns just under 0.003 bitcoin. However, due to the unequal distribution of wealth in my world, the mean person owns just 0.001 bitcoin. That's right, most of you reading this today are rich. I personally live next to an annoying young man who logged into his old Reddit account two years ago and discovered that he received a tip of 0.01 Bitcoin back in 2013 for calling someone a "human being" when he was a 16 year old boy. Upon making this discovery he bought an airline ticket, left his house without telling anyone anything and went to a Citadel.
"What is a Citadel?" you might wonder. Well, by the time Bitcoin became worth 1,000 dollar, services began to emerge for the "Bitcoin rich" to protect themselves as well as their wealth. It started with expensive safes, then began to include bodyguards, and today, "earlies" (our term for early adapters), as well as those rich whose wealth survived the "transition" live in isolated gated cities called Citadels, where most work is automated. Most such Citadels are born out of the fortification used to protect places where Bitcoin mining machines are located. The company known as ASICminer to you is known to me as a city where Mr. Friedman rules as a king.
In my world, soon to be your world, most governments no longer exist, as Bitcoin transactions are done anonymously and thus most governments can enforce no taxation on their citizens. Most of the success of Bitcoin is due to the fact that Bitcoin turned out to be an effective method to hide your wealth from the government. Whereas people entering "rogue states" like Luxemberg, Monaco and Liechtenstein were followed by unmanned drones to ensure that governments know who is hiding wealth, no such option was available to stop people from hiding their money in Bitcoin.
Governments tried to stay relevant in my society by buying Bitcoin, which just made the problem worse, by increasing the value of Bitcoin. Governments did so in secret of course, but my generation's "Snowdens" are in fact greedy government employees who transferred Bitcoin to their own private account, and escaped to anarchic places where no questions are asked as long as you can cough up some money.
The four institutions with the largest still accessible Bitcoin balance are believed to be as following:
-ASICminer - 50,000 Bitcoin
-The IMF's "currency stabilization fund" - 70,000 Bitcoin
-Government of Saudi Arabia - 110,000 Bitcoin
-The North Korean government - 180,000 Bitcoin
Economic growth today is about -2% per year. Why is this? If you own more than 0.01 Bitcoin, chances are you don't do anything with your money. There is no inflation, and thus no incentive to invest your money. Just like the medieval ages had no significant economic growth, as wealth was measured in gold, our society has no economic growth either, as people know their 0.01 Bitcoin will be enough to last them a lifetime. The fact that there are still new Bitcoin released is what prevents our world from collapse so far it seems, but people fear that the decline in inflation that will occur during the next block halving may further wreck our economy.
What happened to the Winklevoss twins? The Winklevoss twins were among the first to die. After seeing the enormous damage done to the fabric of society, terrorist movements emerged that sought to hunt down and murder anyone known to have a large balance of Bitcoin, or believed to be responsible in any way for the development of cryptocurrency. Ironically, these terrorist movements use Bitcoin to anonymously fund their operations.
Most people who own any significant amount of Bitcoin no longer speak to their families and lost their friends, because they had to change their identities. There have been also been a few suicides of people who could not handle the guilt after seeing what happened to the bag-holders, the type of skeptical people who continued to believe it would eventually collapse, even after hearing the rumors of governments buying Bitcoin. Many people were taken hostage, and thus, it is suspected that 25% percent of "Bitcoin rich" actually physically tortured someone to get him to spill his password.
Why didn't we abandon Bitcoin, and move to another system? Well, we tried of course. We tried to step over to an inflationary cryptocurrency, but nobody with an IQ above 70 was willing to step up first and volunteer. After all, why would you voluntarily invest a lot of your money into a currency where you know your wealth will continually decline? The thing that made Bitcoin so dangerous to society was also what made it so successful. Bitcoin allows us to give into our greed.
In Africa, surveys show that an estimated 70% of people believe that Bitcoin was invented by the devil himself. There's a reason for this. It's a very sensitive issue that today is generally referred to as "the tragedy". The African Union had ambitious plans to help its citizens be ready to step over to Bitcoin. Governments gave their own citizens cell phones for free, tied to their government ID, and thus government sought to integrate Bitcoin into their economy. All went well, until "the tragedy" that is. A criminal organization, believed to be located in Russia, exploited a hardware fault in the government issued cell phones. It's believed that the entire continent of Africa lost an estimated 60% of its wealth in a period of 48 hours. What followed was a period of chaos and civil war, until the Saudi Arabian and North Korean governments, two of the world's major superpowers due to their authoritarian political system's unique ability to adapt to the "Bitcoin challenge", divided most African land between themselves and were praised as heroes by the local African population for it.
You might wonder, what is our plan now? It's clear that the current situation can not be sustained, without ending in a nuclear holocaust. I am part of an underground network, who seek to launch a coordinated attack against the very infrastructure of the Internet itself. We have at our disposal about 20 nuclear submarines, which we will use to cut all underwater cables between different continents. After this has been successfully achieved, we will launch a simultaneous nuclear pulse attack on every densely population area of the world. We believe that the resulting chaos will allow the world's population to rise up in revolt, and destroy as many computers out there as possible, until we reach the point where Bitcoin loses any relevance.
Of course, this outcome will likely lead to billions of deaths. This is a price we are forced to pay, to avoid the eternal enslavement of humanity to a tiny elite.
This is also the reason we contacted you.
It doesn't have to be like this. You do not have to share our fate. I don't know how, but you must find a way to destroy this godforsaken project in its infancy. I know this is a difficult thing to ask of you. You believed you were helping the world by eliminating the central banking cartel that governs your economies.
However, I have seen where it ends.

# ? Sep 4, 2014 15:17

MORE CURLY FRIES: Apr 8, 2004

oh poo poo i just remembered the open letter someone wrote to obama about bitcoin and meat suits and stuff that was loving insane

# ? Sep 4, 2014 15:21

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

Owlofcreamcheese posted:

I am a time-traveler from the future, here to beg you to stop what you are doing. (self.Bitcoin)
submitted 1 year ago by Luka_Magnotta
I am sending this message from the year 2025. Things are looking bleak here, and some of you will carry blood on your hands.
If you don't believe me, please move on, as I have no way of proving to you I'm really who I claim to be.
I don't want to waste any of your time, so I'm merely going to explain what happened.
On average, every year so far, the value of Bitcoin has increased by about a factor ten. From 0.1 dollar in 2010, to 1 dollar in 2011, to 10 dollar in 2012, to 100 dollar in 2013. From now on, there's a slight slowdown, as the value increased by a factor ten every two years, to 1,000 dollar in 2015, to 10,000 in 2017, 100,000 in 2019, and 1,000,000 in 2021. From here onwards, there's no good way of expressing its value in dollars, as the dollar is no longer used, nor is any central bank issued currency for that matter. There are two main forms of wealth in today's world. Land and cryptocurrency.
There are just over 19 million Bitcoin known to be used in the world today, as well as a few hundred thousand that were permanently lost, and we're still dealing with a population of just over 7 billion people today. On average, this means the average person owns just under 0.003 bitcoin. However, due to the unequal distribution of wealth in my world, the mean person owns just 0.001 bitcoin. That's right, most of you reading this today are rich. I personally live next to an annoying young man who logged into his old Reddit account two years ago and discovered that he received a tip of 0.01 Bitcoin back in 2013 for calling someone a "human being" when he was a 16 year old boy. Upon making this discovery he bought an airline ticket, left his house without telling anyone anything and went to a Citadel.
"What is a Citadel?" you might wonder. Well, by the time Bitcoin became worth 1,000 dollar, services began to emerge for the "Bitcoin rich" to protect themselves as well as their wealth. It started with expensive safes, then began to include bodyguards, and today, "earlies" (our term for early adapters), as well as those rich whose wealth survived the "transition" live in isolated gated cities called Citadels, where most work is automated. Most such Citadels are born out of the fortification used to protect places where Bitcoin mining machines are located. The company known as ASICminer to you is known to me as a city where Mr. Friedman rules as a king.
In my world, soon to be your world, most governments no longer exist, as Bitcoin transactions are done anonymously and thus most governments can enforce no taxation on their citizens. Most of the success of Bitcoin is due to the fact that Bitcoin turned out to be an effective method to hide your wealth from the government. Whereas people entering "rogue states" like Luxemberg, Monaco and Liechtenstein were followed by unmanned drones to ensure that governments know who is hiding wealth, no such option was available to stop people from hiding their money in Bitcoin.
Governments tried to stay relevant in my society by buying Bitcoin, which just made the problem worse, by increasing the value of Bitcoin. Governments did so in secret of course, but my generation's "Snowdens" are in fact greedy government employees who transferred Bitcoin to their own private account, and escaped to anarchic places where no questions are asked as long as you can cough up some money.
The four institutions with the largest still accessible Bitcoin balance are believed to be as following:
-ASICminer - 50,000 Bitcoin
-The IMF's "currency stabilization fund" - 70,000 Bitcoin
-Government of Saudi Arabia - 110,000 Bitcoin
-The North Korean government - 180,000 Bitcoin
Economic growth today is about -2% per year. Why is this? If you own more than 0.01 Bitcoin, chances are you don't do anything with your money. There is no inflation, and thus no incentive to invest your money. Just like the medieval ages had no significant economic growth, as wealth was measured in gold, our society has no economic growth either, as people know their 0.01 Bitcoin will be enough to last them a lifetime. The fact that there are still new Bitcoin released is what prevents our world from collapse so far it seems, but people fear that the decline in inflation that will occur during the next block halving may further wreck our economy.
What happened to the Winklevoss twins? The Winklevoss twins were among the first to die. After seeing the enormous damage done to the fabric of society, terrorist movements emerged that sought to hunt down and murder anyone known to have a large balance of Bitcoin, or believed to be responsible in any way for the development of cryptocurrency. Ironically, these terrorist movements use Bitcoin to anonymously fund their operations.
Most people who own any significant amount of Bitcoin no longer speak to their families and lost their friends, because they had to change their identities. There have been also been a few suicides of people who could not handle the guilt after seeing what happened to the bag-holders, the type of skeptical people who continued to believe it would eventually collapse, even after hearing the rumors of governments buying Bitcoin. Many people were taken hostage, and thus, it is suspected that 25% percent of "Bitcoin rich" actually physically tortured someone to get him to spill his password.
Why didn't we abandon Bitcoin, and move to another system? Well, we tried of course. We tried to step over to an inflationary cryptocurrency, but nobody with an IQ above 70 was willing to step up first and volunteer. After all, why would you voluntarily invest a lot of your money into a currency where you know your wealth will continually decline? The thing that made Bitcoin so dangerous to society was also what made it so successful. Bitcoin allows us to give into our greed.
In Africa, surveys show that an estimated 70% of people believe that Bitcoin was invented by the devil himself. There's a reason for this. It's a very sensitive issue that today is generally referred to as "the tragedy". The African Union had ambitious plans to help its citizens be ready to step over to Bitcoin. Governments gave their own citizens cell phones for free, tied to their government ID, and thus government sought to integrate Bitcoin into their economy. All went well, until "the tragedy" that is. A criminal organization, believed to be located in Russia, exploited a hardware fault in the government issued cell phones. It's believed that the entire continent of Africa lost an estimated 60% of its wealth in a period of 48 hours. What followed was a period of chaos and civil war, until the Saudi Arabian and North Korean governments, two of the world's major superpowers due to their authoritarian political system's unique ability to adapt to the "Bitcoin challenge", divided most African land between themselves and were praised as heroes by the local African population for it.
You might wonder, what is our plan now? It's clear that the current situation can not be sustained, without ending in a nuclear holocaust. I am part of an underground network, who seek to launch a coordinated attack against the very infrastructure of the Internet itself. We have at our disposal about 20 nuclear submarines, which we will use to cut all underwater cables between different continents. After this has been successfully achieved, we will launch a simultaneous nuclear pulse attack on every densely population area of the world. We believe that the resulting chaos will allow the world's population to rise up in revolt, and destroy as many computers out there as possible, until we reach the point where Bitcoin loses any relevance.
Of course, this outcome will likely lead to billions of deaths. This is a price we are forced to pay, to avoid the eternal enslavement of humanity to a tiny elite.
This is also the reason we contacted you.
It doesn't have to be like this. You do not have to share our fate. I don't know how, but you must find a way to destroy this godforsaken project in its infancy. I know this is a difficult thing to ask of you. You believed you were helping the world by eliminating the central banking cartel that governs your economies.
However, I have seen where it ends.

holy piss

# ? Sep 4, 2014 15:21

theflyingorc: Jun 28, 2008; ANY GOOD OPINIONS THIS POSTER CLAIMS TO HAVE ARE JUST PROOF THAT BULLYING WORKS; Young Orc

Owlofcreamcheese posted:

What happened to the Winklevoss twins? The Winklevoss twins were among the first to die.

awwwwww it's the feelgood story of the year

# ? Sep 4, 2014 15:25

fool of sound: Oct 10, 2012

Boxturret posted:

the diagram is literally made with ms paint default shapes

has anyone said woolong clan yet

# ? Sep 4, 2014 15:27

Dixie Cretin Seaman: Jan 22, 2008; all hat and one catte; Hot Rope Guy

Owlofcreamcheese posted:

I am a time-traveler from the future, here to beg you to stop what you are doing. (self.Bitcoin)
submitted 1 year ago by Luka_Magnotta
I am sending this message from the year 2025. Things are looking bleak here, and some of you will carry blood on your hands.
If you don't believe me, please move on, as I have no way of proving to you I'm really who I claim to be.
I don't want to waste any of your time, so I'm merely going to explain what happened.
On average, every year so far, the value of Bitcoin has increased by about a factor ten. From 0.1 dollar in 2010, to 1 dollar in 2011, to 10 dollar in 2012, to 100 dollar in 2013. From now on, there's a slight slowdown, as the value increased by a factor ten every two years, to 1,000 dollar in 2015, to 10,000 in 2017, 100,000 in 2019, and 1,000,000 in 2021. From here onwards, there's no good way of expressing its value in dollars, as the dollar is no longer used, nor is any central bank issued currency for that matter. There are two main forms of wealth in today's world. Land and cryptocurrency.
There are just over 19 million Bitcoin known to be used in the world today, as well as a few hundred thousand that were permanently lost, and we're still dealing with a population of just over 7 billion people today. On average, this means the average person owns just under 0.003 bitcoin. However, due to the unequal distribution of wealth in my world, the mean person owns just 0.001 bitcoin. That's right, most of you reading this today are rich. I personally live next to an annoying young man who logged into his old Reddit account two years ago and discovered that he received a tip of 0.01 Bitcoin back in 2013 for calling someone a "human being" when he was a 16 year old boy. Upon making this discovery he bought an airline ticket, left his house without telling anyone anything and went to a Citadel.
"What is a Citadel?" you might wonder. Well, by the time Bitcoin became worth 1,000 dollar, services began to emerge for the "Bitcoin rich" to protect themselves as well as their wealth. It started with expensive safes, then began to include bodyguards, and today, "earlies" (our term for early adapters), as well as those rich whose wealth survived the "transition" live in isolated gated cities called Citadels, where most work is automated. Most such Citadels are born out of the fortification used to protect places where Bitcoin mining machines are located. The company known as ASICminer to you is known to me as a city where Mr. Friedman rules as a king.
In my world, soon to be your world, most governments no longer exist, as Bitcoin transactions are done anonymously and thus most governments can enforce no taxation on their citizens. Most of the success of Bitcoin is due to the fact that Bitcoin turned out to be an effective method to hide your wealth from the government. Whereas people entering "rogue states" like Luxemberg, Monaco and Liechtenstein were followed by unmanned drones to ensure that governments know who is hiding wealth, no such option was available to stop people from hiding their money in Bitcoin.
Governments tried to stay relevant in my society by buying Bitcoin, which just made the problem worse, by increasing the value of Bitcoin. Governments did so in secret of course, but my generation's "Snowdens" are in fact greedy government employees who transferred Bitcoin to their own private account, and escaped to anarchic places where no questions are asked as long as you can cough up some money.
The four institutions with the largest still accessible Bitcoin balance are believed to be as following:
-ASICminer - 50,000 Bitcoin
-The IMF's "currency stabilization fund" - 70,000 Bitcoin
-Government of Saudi Arabia - 110,000 Bitcoin
-The North Korean government - 180,000 Bitcoin
Economic growth today is about -2% per year. Why is this? If you own more than 0.01 Bitcoin, chances are you don't do anything with your money. There is no inflation, and thus no incentive to invest your money. Just like the medieval ages had no significant economic growth, as wealth was measured in gold, our society has no economic growth either, as people know their 0.01 Bitcoin will be enough to last them a lifetime. The fact that there are still new Bitcoin released is what prevents our world from collapse so far it seems, but people fear that the decline in inflation that will occur during the next block halving may further wreck our economy.
What happened to the Winklevoss twins? The Winklevoss twins were among the first to die. After seeing the enormous damage done to the fabric of society, terrorist movements emerged that sought to hunt down and murder anyone known to have a large balance of Bitcoin, or believed to be responsible in any way for the development of cryptocurrency. Ironically, these terrorist movements use Bitcoin to anonymously fund their operations.
Most people who own any significant amount of Bitcoin no longer speak to their families and lost their friends, because they had to change their identities. There have been also been a few suicides of people who could not handle the guilt after seeing what happened to the bag-holders, the type of skeptical people who continued to believe it would eventually collapse, even after hearing the rumors of governments buying Bitcoin. Many people were taken hostage, and thus, it is suspected that 25% percent of "Bitcoin rich" actually physically tortured someone to get him to spill his password.
Why didn't we abandon Bitcoin, and move to another system? Well, we tried of course. We tried to step over to an inflationary cryptocurrency, but nobody with an IQ above 70 was willing to step up first and volunteer. After all, why would you voluntarily invest a lot of your money into a currency where you know your wealth will continually decline? The thing that made Bitcoin so dangerous to society was also what made it so successful. Bitcoin allows us to give into our greed.
In Africa, surveys show that an estimated 70% of people believe that Bitcoin was invented by the devil himself. There's a reason for this. It's a very sensitive issue that today is generally referred to as "the tragedy". The African Union had ambitious plans to help its citizens be ready to step over to Bitcoin. Governments gave their own citizens cell phones for free, tied to their government ID, and thus government sought to integrate Bitcoin into their economy. All went well, until "the tragedy" that is. A criminal organization, believed to be located in Russia, exploited a hardware fault in the government issued cell phones. It's believed that the entire continent of Africa lost an estimated 60% of its wealth in a period of 48 hours. What followed was a period of chaos and civil war, until the Saudi Arabian and North Korean governments, two of the world's major superpowers due to their authoritarian political system's unique ability to adapt to the "Bitcoin challenge", divided most African land between themselves and were praised as heroes by the local African population for it.
You might wonder, what is our plan now? It's clear that the current situation can not be sustained, without ending in a nuclear holocaust. I am part of an underground network, who seek to launch a coordinated attack against the very infrastructure of the Internet itself. We have at our disposal about 20 nuclear submarines, which we will use to cut all underwater cables between different continents. After this has been successfully achieved, we will launch a simultaneous nuclear pulse attack on every densely population area of the world. We believe that the resulting chaos will allow the world's population to rise up in revolt, and destroy as many computers out there as possible, until we reach the point where Bitcoin loses any relevance.
Of course, this outcome will likely lead to billions of deaths. This is a price we are forced to pay, to avoid the eternal enslavement of humanity to a tiny elite.
This is also the reason we contacted you.
It doesn't have to be like this. You do not have to share our fate. I don't know how, but you must find a way to destroy this godforsaken project in its infancy. I know this is a difficult thing to ask of you. You believed you were helping the world by eliminating the central banking cartel that governs your economies.
However, I have seen where it ends.