Neighbourhood Necromancer - Another fine CYOA from Choice of Games

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Neighbourhood Necromancer - Another fine CYOA from Choice of Games

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Bobbin Threadbare: Jan 2, 2009; I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

Break out the trench coats because anonymity is apparently a virtue.

# ? Sep 22, 2014 15:37

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# ? May 10, 2024 05:17

Odysseus S. Grant: Oct 12, 2011; Cats is the oldest and strongest emotion
of mankind

A pair of groucho glasses for every zombie! Disguise.

# ? Sep 22, 2014 16:04

Oblivion4568238: Oct 10, 2012; The Inquisition.
What a show.
The Inquisition.
Here. We. Go.; College Slice

quote:

You go through your parents' wardrobe. There are a few coats and hats which ought to do the job, plus a couple of 'personal' items in a box that you did not need to see.

You dress up your minions. Getting trousers on them is the hardest thing; you experiment with having them lie down, or laying the legholes open and having them step inside. You tire quickly with the amount of concentration it takes to make them move. You're going to have to be careful not to overdo things.

When you go outside, however, the effort pays off. Three different people glance at you and carry on without remark. This is Basingstoke-on-Trent, after all. Your undead don't look all that different from the guys who drink white cider under the bridge.

You return home, feeling like you learned something. There are mini pizzas in the freezer. Tomorrow, you'll get more ambitious.

quote:

It's a new day.

Like it or not, you have command of a small force of undead. They live in your house. You can either get all mopey about it or you can do something positive.

What could be more positive than seeking revenge against the people who treated you badly in the past? You don't have to kill them or anything. Unless you want to�

What will you do?

Visit the graveyard to recruit more undead.
Take undead to the fish and chip shop.
Take undead to the hairdressers.

Stats posted:

A successful necromancer must manage an array of vital character statistics.

Control: 67% (+3)
Energy: 42% (+3)
Luck: 57% (+4)
Corruption: 2%
Humanity: 2%
Your activities have attracted some attention.

Your undead army consists of:
Skeletons: 2
Zombies: 2
and it has killed 2 people in total.

# ? Sep 22, 2014 18:11

Nyaa: Jan 7, 2010; Like, Nyaa.

Our undead need a haircut at the hairdressers

# ? Sep 22, 2014 18:24

Bobbin Threadbare: Jan 2, 2009; I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

Build the army!

# ? Sep 22, 2014 18:33

Lord Cyrahzax: Oct 11, 2012

Rob graves!

# ? Sep 22, 2014 18:34

Tag Plastic: Jun 10, 2006; Not organic.

We are an awkward teenage girl in a lovely English town, of course the hairdresser done us wrong. _{gently caress you Headlines.}

# ? Sep 22, 2014 18:59

NAME REDACTED: Dec 22, 2010

Tag Plastic posted:

We are an awkward teenage girl in a lovely English town, of course the hairdresser done us wrong. _{gently caress you Headlines.}

I am 100% behind revenging ourselves on the hairdressers.

# ? Sep 22, 2014 19:34

DropsySufferer: Nov 9, 2008; Impractical practicality

graveyard first.

# ? Sep 22, 2014 19:49

Pimpmust: Oct 1, 2008

A necromancer and her undead army living in a small home in British suburbia, what could possibly go wrong?

...gonna need a bigger house, go to the graveyard for more troops!

# ? Sep 22, 2014 20:23

Darth TNT: Sep 20, 2013

The hairdresser. Just because they're dead doesn't mean they have to loom dead.

This game is hilarious.

# ? Sep 22, 2014 21:41

Oblivion4568238: Oct 10, 2012; The Inquisition.
What a show.
The Inquisition.
Here. We. Go.; College Slice

We've got a tie, so I've flipped a coin through random.org, wherein Heads is recruiting at the graveyard, and Tails is taking vengeance on the hairdressers.

Graverobbing it is.

quote:

Alone, you weave your way out of town to the graveyard. It's a lonely, windy spot crammed between the ruins of the church and a potato field. The gates are patchy with rust. They open with a squeal which seems to touch all the frequencies painful to human hearing.

Near the front, the stones are old, grey; crooked like bad teeth. Moss chokes the inscriptions and many of them have been worn smooth by years of cold rain.

Further back are signs of more recent use. Some marble stones gleam among the granite, gold still visible on their inscriptions.

quote:

You shiver as you walk among the headstones. It's one thing controlling a shambling figure of wasting flesh or a clackety, hyperactive collection of bones. But these are still people, lying deep in the earth, some for a very long time. Do you really want to interrupt their eternal rest to boost your horde?

Recruit in the older section of the graveyard.
Recruit in the newer section of the graveyard.
Take your time and look at the stones.

No change in stats.

# ? Sep 23, 2014 22:54

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Look at the stones.

We need to try to find the Kendal Kids' own dead relatives to have them rip their throats out.

# ? Sep 23, 2014 22:56

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Night10194 posted:

Look at the stones.

We need to try to find the Kendal Kids' own dead relatives to have them rip their throats out.

Yes.

# ? Sep 23, 2014 23:20

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Every bloodbowl player knows that skeletons are better than zombies, due to higher speed and hard headed! Thus, older section.

# ? Sep 24, 2014 00:06

Bobbin Threadbare: Jan 2, 2009; I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

Check the gravestones. We got a chance to pull off some quality irony here and we shouldn't waste it.

# ? Sep 24, 2014 00:53

FlocksOfMice: Feb 3, 2009

Yes check the stones pick the best zombies only

# ? Sep 24, 2014 00:55

Darth TNT: Sep 20, 2013

The older part. I want crawling zombies with missing limbs.

# ? Sep 24, 2014 07:12

Lord_Ventnor: Mar 30, 2010; The Worldwide Deadly Gangster Communist President

Night10194 posted:

Look at the stones.

We need to try to find the Kendal Kids' own dead relatives to have them rip their throats out.

Solid reasoning I can get behind! I vote this.

# ? Sep 24, 2014 08:36

Oblivion4568238: Oct 10, 2012; The Inquisition.
What a show.
The Inquisition.
Here. We. Go.; College Slice

quote:

You haven't been up here in a long time. The older section is full of crumbling stones and faded names: Alberts and Archibalds, Marjories and Maudes. From time to time, you see a mossy angel, or even a skull and crossbones�although you doubt it means a pirate is buried here.

Something about the names gets to you, the family relationships. You trace your fingers across the rough top of a granite grave marker. Perhaps you don't need more undead minions that badly.

Recruit in the older section of the graveyard.
Recruit in the newer section of the graveyard.
Leave flowers instead.

Joke's on you, looking at the graves is just to nearly grow a conscience. Nearly, but not quite; no change in stats.

# ? Sep 24, 2014 19:31

Bobbin Threadbare: Jan 2, 2009; I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

Oh well. Let's pick up some meatbags from the new section.

# ? Sep 24, 2014 19:36

Odysseus S. Grant: Oct 12, 2011; Cats is the oldest and strongest emotion
of mankind

I'm assuming that the choice is between zombies skeletons, so let's get some old bones.

# ? Sep 24, 2014 19:52

FlocksOfMice: Feb 3, 2009

Let's go to the old section so we won't feel so guilty. No one will recognize skeletons!

# ? Sep 24, 2014 19:59

Nyaa: Jan 7, 2010; Like, Nyaa.

Do we want zombie or skeleton? New Zombie it is.

# ? Sep 24, 2014 20:17

Darth TNT: Sep 20, 2013

Old section! I bet there are pirates buried here!

# ? Sep 24, 2014 20:38

Ripley: Jan 21, 2007

Old section, skeletons are great.

# ? Sep 24, 2014 21:40

Lord_Ventnor: Mar 30, 2010; The Worldwide Deadly Gangster Communist President

I've been to the Politoons thread, and I don't want a bunch of Dry Bones in our undead army.

Let's go the New Section, and get a radical zombie.

# ? Sep 25, 2014 01:53

Oblivion4568238: Oct 10, 2012; The Inquisition.
What a show.
The Inquisition.
Here. We. Go.; College Slice

quote:

You stand among the old stones and take out the humerus. Its weak pulse is difficult to see in daylight; it manifests as a sickly tint on your skin. If it's responding to the presence of bodies in the ground, they must be buried deep�or perhaps they have decayed beyond the point where they can be animated. Who knows? They don't teach this stuff in school.

Attempt to pull undead from the ground with an active force of will.
Try to free your mind and contact the dead.
Move to the newer section instead.

Showing stats for the sake of possibly failing a skill roll here.

Primary Stats posted:

Control: 67%
Energy: 42%
Luck: 57%

# ? Sep 25, 2014 04:32

Bobbin Threadbare: Jan 2, 2009; I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

Force of will sounds like Control, so let's give that a shot.

# ? Sep 25, 2014 04:42

Darth TNT: Sep 20, 2013

(force of will)

# ? Sep 25, 2014 07:20

Lord_Ventnor: Mar 30, 2010; The Worldwide Deadly Gangster Communist President

Assume direct control.

# ? Sep 25, 2014 07:21

Oblivion4568238: Oct 10, 2012; The Inquisition.
What a show.
The Inquisition.
Here. We. Go.; College Slice

quote:

You plant both feet square on the earth and adopt a dramatic and hopefully solid stance. You close your eyes.

The bone channels your will. You send a command deep into the ground, calling the long-time dead. Come. Now is your time. Arise and serve me. It's old-fashioned, hokey stuff, but then, there's not a single tombstone in this area more recent than the 1930s.

quote:

In front of you, the earth cracks and parts, as the dead rise again at your command.

Bones slide from the broken ground, twisting and reassembling into three new skeleton warriors. Grave dirt drains from their cavities as they ready themselves for action.

A wave of fatigue pours over you. Calling the dead requires serious concentration. You head for home with weary steps, your obedient, new undead trailing behind.

quote:

It's a new day.

You need to do laundry. The undead peer at you as you load the washing machine. A zombie watches the drum spin, following the motion with its head. It goes round and round�and round�

It occurs to you that school is in session. You don't have to go, of course. If the truant officer comes to your door, he is going to get a nasty surprise. But you might decide to go all the same. Who knows what might happen?

What will you do?

Return to the graveyard for another try.
Take undead to the fish and chip shop.
Take undead to the hairdressers.
Go to school.

Stats posted:

A successful necromancer must manage an array of vital character statistics.

Control: 68% (+1)
Energy: 42%
Luck: 57%
Corruption: 3% (+1)
Humanity: 2%
Your activities have attracted some attention.

Your undead army consists of:
Skeletons: 5 (+3)
Zombies: 2
and it has killed 2 people in total.

# ? Sep 25, 2014 18:45

Fangz: Jul 5, 2007; Oh I see! This must be the Bad Opinion Zone!

Go to school. We need an education, dammit. At some point we will have to enter into the real world of jobs and stuff and while Master Necromancer looks good on the CV, there's no way we're gonna succeed if we don't know how to factorise quadratic equations!

# ? Sep 25, 2014 18:57

Nyaa: Jan 7, 2010; Like, Nyaa.

Not gonna deal with those murderous bullies. They could kill us at anytime. To hairdressers.

# ? Sep 25, 2014 19:00

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Go to school.

What kind of true master Necromancer doesn't at least learn their latin?

# ? Sep 25, 2014 19:00

Bobbin Threadbare: Jan 2, 2009; I'm looking for a flock of urbanmechs.

Going to school like a normal kid seems like the best way to keep a low profile.

# ? Sep 25, 2014 19:04

tomanton: May 22, 2006; beam me up, tomato

Winners stay in school.

# ? Sep 25, 2014 19:30

Darth TNT: Sep 20, 2013

Our skeletons are in desperate need of a haircut!

# ? Sep 25, 2014 21:30

Ouroborus: Mar 31, 2010; I really only come here for the Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens CYOA these days.
SA was one of the first websites I ever frequented, waaaaay back in the day. I only got off my ass and got an account about 8 years ago. I bought the platinum upgrade recently.

Could you clarify, do we take the undead to school with us? If so then that is my vote, else Hairdresser

# ? Sep 25, 2014 22:17

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# ? May 10, 2024 05:17

Oblivion4568238: Oct 10, 2012; The Inquisition.
What a show.
The Inquisition.
Here. We. Go.; College Slice

Ouroborus posted:

Could you clarify, do we take the undead to school with us? If so then that is my vote, else Hairdresser

You have a choice in the matter, and why wouldn't anybody choose that, so I'm going to take this as another school vote.

quote:

School. Long days in hot rooms with dazzling sunlight, large windows and no blinds; rammed together with a bunch of no-hope thickers whose finest moments in life will be the torments they inflict on the smarter kids here.

This year there will be the additional pressures of exams and career choices�or will there? This term is different from every one that went before because you have a posse. It might look a bit rough and smell of rancid flesh but it's a posse all the same.

Attend without the undead.
Have the undead hide nearby.
Walk straight through the front gate with an undead bodyguard.
Send all your undead over the wall and watch the mayhem.

No change in stats.

# ? Sep 25, 2014 22:32

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Neighbourhood Necromancer - Another fine CYOA from Choice of Games

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