Harime Nui posted:

Megan Fox is a really bad actress op. She manages to almost sink the movie by being the focus for the first ten minutes but thank god after that they give the movie over to the cgi turtles.

Yaldabaoth posted:

Maybe if Hollywood actually casted people based on their talent instead of whether the audience wants to gently caress them we wouldn't have to deal with this poo poo

burritolingus posted:

If you want to gently caress Megan Fox you're a necrophiliac or something because she just isn't there.

TetsuoTW posted:

It'd never work, I know I'm garbage.

Vagon posted:

Could anyone direct me to a post that I've missed while skimming the thread or offer some advice for my fiancee and I? ... Our primary issue is that we're both submissive when it comes to sex and each of us find it terribly awkward trying to dom for the other. For example, even dirty/down-talking is hard for us to get going. Humiliation is kind of our kink in the psychological sense, less so in the 'tie my up and make me helpless' sense.

LingcodKilla posted:

So..... You need a person to just come in and insult you while you guys have sex? Would a web camera observer making disparaging comments about your efforts be enough?

Triticum Guzzler posted:

GOON: I heard you can pay for sex, which I haven't had, in Las Vegas. Additionally I'm meeting up with some strangers from online who are frequently violent towards animals but share my views on Microsoft.

PROSTITUTE: Mmmpghggh. Oh baby, your dick is so big and the overwhelming smell of seafood is much less disgusting than you would initially think.

GOON: All this brings me to some issues I've been experiencing with my network card.

A Buttery Pastry posted:

Judge Clayjar posted:

gurggh: check out my cave wall drawing of two horses
balff: ur a dumb motherfucker. im gonna rape u and smear cum on your lovely drawing so it looks blurry in six thousand years
gurggh: well you suck at raping me b*tch
balff: idont even know why we live together.

Nice piece of fish posted:

Are you for real? Forcing a young childs head into a cake in front of all her friends, leading to traumatic feelings of shame, insecurity and humiliation is somehow not abuse by any reasonable definition of the word?

I don't care how "spoiled" that child is. If she is spoiled, it's certainly not cured through humiliation and use of force and at any rate the parents are completely to blame for her behaviour and her actions.

Children internalize everything that happens to them, and even small traumatic events can have severe consequences for their development and later on in life. This is the reason why we have the concept "emotional abuse". Face-in-the-cake is a fun prank to pull on an adult who likes you well enough to see the humor in it and not press charges for assault. It's never okay to do it to a child.

Any more basic poo poo you want me to explain to you? Maybe how punching people is wrong and that shoplifting isn't harmless?

toanoradian posted:

Maybe it's a really really lovely cake?

A Buttery Pastry posted:

The Flying Fish posted:

when im looknig for a woman she must be knowledgeable about computers, give great blow jobs, love math, cost no more than $200

Spiritus Nox posted:

The new title doesn't really bother me, I just don't really get it. Is there some deeper joke I'm missing or is it literally "hurr Nerds with No Friends also Nintendo?" Because that's like 4/10 poo poo.

CJacobs posted:

I would've preferred if it were the name of the Games subforum in general, by itself the joke doesn't really have anything to do with LP.

A Buttery Pastry posted:

Judge Clayjar posted:

she danced on my lap, rubbing her perfect rear end against my crotch again and again. "again?" she would ask, tickling my sensitive nerve and drawing my wallet back out. again, i would say, passing her another forty dollars, though i knew the money was only a formality; this babe was into me. why else would she have kept smiling at me the whole time? science knows their filthy profession offers little in the way of real pleasure

Ponce de Le0n posted:

Lets play guys are really chill when confronted by a joke.

Crain posted:

I still don't get it. Is it just supposed to be a games version of FYAD?

Sham bam bamina! posted:

On the Imp Zone:

Crain posted:

I think it's just that I have rose colored glasses about old SA. I started coming here in 04 and reg'd in 07.

Although I was just as bad as this poo poo in the past. I bought into the whole "South Park Equality" thing where as long as you insult and hate on everyone you're in the clear and you shouldn't be called on it.

Thankfully though...

Triticum Guzzler posted:

Fury - **** MOVIE OF THE WEEK

Fury was a delightful surprise when its press junket materials ended up in my hands after renting a suit to pretend to be a waiter and stealing the richest person in the room's bag. It was a leather sort of satchel affair, kind of effeminate, but nice if you're into that sort of thing. He had all these dumbass business cards which I've kept in a stack on my desk to make myself feel important and to have something other than food wrappers to wipe my boogers on. I don't have an infection or anything, but I'm going through a brief phase where I produce these extremely wet, yet viscous strings that wrap around my nasal passage and into the upper reaches of my throat. Pulling them free feels nothing short of orgasmic, and when I wipe them on Doug Belgrad's business cards, the unusual matte finish really makes my glistening mucous "the star of the show".

Brad Pitt gives a charismatic performance as Tyler Durden, but in this movie, the car's the star! Set in an alternate version of the 1940's where Hitler is bad, this road trip movie follows a disfunctional family who have sex at least once, according to the wikipedia summary. Shia LaBeouf dies. War is hell, but in another, more realistic sense, hell is hell, and war is fairly cool depending on your perks and loadout (Juggernaut, Stopping Power, Last Stand).

Ponce de Le0n posted:

That dude is incredible lol




Thankfully though... i don't understand jokes anymore.

cobalt impurity posted:

DoctorWhat posted:

Her?

client posted:

That whole thread is such pure old GBS it's incredible. It's like one of those lost south american tribes except instead of hunting pigs with sticks theyre getting incredibly upset over the fact that republicans exist.

quote:

Honestly this level of cheating is standard, even in high school. I had a classmate who, in AP physics, just had his text and notebooks on the floor, open to the right sections. He would look down extremely obviously, flip pages, and write the answers down.

Unfortunately this kids was also the most stereotypical friend of the family you have ever seen. Whenever a teacher would call him out on it he would instantly jump up, get in their faces and scream about how they were racist.

Worst part was that it worked. Until senior year in AP physics, where the teacher videotaped the room. He called the kid out on being an obvious cheater, kid jumped up to do his shpeal. And at the end the kid went on about how it was his senior year, it didn't matter anyway, and that he had been able to gently caress with the school for 4 years by crying racism.

Well the teacher got him on tape saying that, the school had the evidence they would need to shoot down a lawsuit, and the kid was not only expelled, but all the teachers he had formerly "testified" against him saying that he had cheated on every test he had taken in their classes, thus basically failing due to earning zeros for cheating. As such he technically failed out halfway though freshman year.

The school revoked his passing of freshman-junior year. This meant that he couldn't just transfer down the road to another school to repeat senior year. He actually would have to repeat highschool.

So don't lose hope, these kids will gently caress themselves so bad one day that these small victories, or losses won't even matter.


EDIT:

FINALLY I GOT A HELLDUMP! Apparently all it takes to use a racial slur. Although I'm not so sure the limpwrists in HD would have cared if I had used kike, chink, cracka, or spic.

Link: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2839535&pagenumber=1#post343042089

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

PJOmega posted:

PJOmega posted:

Jaweeeblop posted:

DoctorWhat approaches the stage for open mic night at his local comedy club, nervously clutching a carton of eggs against his chest. With hands shaking he picks up the first egg, but quickly falls into a nice calm groove, like you would get from doing the same things over and over again. He draws a smiley face on the egg and shows it to the audience, then announces into the microphone "her?" to a dead silent room. Placing the egg back into the carton he picks up the second egg and draws a sad face, then shows it to the audience. "her?" The audience is anxiously shuffling their feet and murmuring. "is this guy for real?" "The gently caress is this poo poo?" "Someone get this tard off the stage!" The process is repeated through every egg, each punchline of "her?" repeated with the same gusto. Placing the 11th egg back in the carton PJOmega walks in and takes a seat at a table in the back of the room. DoctorWhat picks up the last egg, draws a bored face and shows the egg to the audience. "her?" A cacophony of rofls erupts from the back.

PJOmega: HAHA that was awesome, it's just like from when the guy says it on the tv show I watch. Hey you mind if I copy that down and tell my friends? They'll love it!
DoctorWhat: Sure thing man i've been making this joke at every opportunity and i'm very happy it was noticed

Jaweeeblop posted:

DoctorWhat approaches the stage for open mic night at his local comedy club, nervously clutching a carton of eggs against his chest. With hands shaking he picks up the first egg, but quickly falls into a nice calm groove, like you would get from doing the same things over and over again. He draws a smiley face on the egg and shows it to the audience, then announces into the microphone "her?" to a dead silent room. Placing the egg back into the carton he picks up the second egg and draws a sad face, then shows it to the audience. "her?" The audience is anxiously shuffling their feet and murmuring. "is this guy for real?" "The gently caress is this poo poo?" "Someone get this tard off the stage!" The process is repeated through every egg, each punchline of "her?" repeated with the same gusto. Placing the 11th egg back in the carton PJOmega walks in and takes a seat at a table in the back of the room. DoctorWhat picks up the last egg, draws a bored face and shows the egg to the audience. "her?" A cacophony of rofls erupts from the back.

PJOmega: HAHA that was awesome, it's just like from when the guy says it on the tv show I watch. Hey you mind if I copy that down and tell my friends? They'll love it!
DoctorWhat: Sure thing man i've been making this joke at every opportunity and i'm very happy it was noticed

DoctorWhat posted:

well that's me told. sincerely, this is far funnier than my soft-boiled arrested development references.

DoctorWhat posted:

. sincerely, this is far funnier than my soft-boiled arrested development references.

DoctorWhat posted:

well that's me told. sincerely, this is far funnier than my soft-boiled arrested development references.

Crane Fist posted:

It's like you're a robot programmed to recycle humour but they missed a step and all you can do is break it down into its constituent parts and spit them back out in a jumbled mess

DoctorWhat posted:

As a matter of fact, you are NOT the first individual to accuse me of domestic-violence-apologia because of The Coat!

I am extremely aware of the loving garbage legacy of the Sixth Doctor's introductory story. I do not defend the decision to depict such actions, as some fans do, on the basis that it was "regenerative trauma". The Twin Dilemma, and the stories that follow, depict a horrendously tone-deaf and toxic relationship dynamic between the Doctor and Peri.

However, I became a fan of the Sixth Doctor via a series of audio dramas produced decades later, which posit a much-developed and "mellowed" character who expresses deep remorse for his behavior. (I am particularly looking forward to this winter's series of Six-and-Peri stories, which seem set to directly address those troubles.) So while I'd never try to excuse or defend Dilemma, I can at least honestly claim that my fannishness is DESPITE those loving abominable moments, not because of them.

Of course, defending the Sixth Doctor (who has a number of qualities that I find, to be honest, profoundly relatable and inspirational on a personal level, especially in his more recent, better-written appearances) isn't the only angle at which I could address this. For instance:

Do you accuse cosplayers of the Joker of similar callousness? The Joker, irrespective of the whole mass-murder thing, has a profoundly abusive relationship with Harley Quinn. Yet every convention I attend, I see numerous couples dressed as that pair. The psychosexual implications are troubling, to be sure - but odds are they're just not worrying all that much about it. And just talking about Doctor Whos, the Tenth Doctor at one point invades a woman's mind against her explicit, verbal protests, yet is portrayed as being justified in that action. Furthermore, I have, in person, gotten more poo poo this past NYCC alone about my costume choice than I've EVER seen aimed at fans/cosplayers of Noted Rapist James Bond. And I'm willing - nay, GRATEFUL - to take that poo poo, because it means that people are (rightfully) finding fault with the strangulation scene, and being socially conscious.

Of course the coat is loaded. The whole incarnation of the Doctor is loaded. I endeavor to represent the more positive qualities of Ol' Sixie, without ignoring or defending the - make no mistake - MASSIVE loving BAGGAGE the character carries.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

...of SCIENCE! posted:

Nastyman posted:

Someone make a giant ascii out of this tia

Mr. Sunshine posted:

Would bringing helldump back stop this thread from going "lol u r gbs" at random people every other page?

WindmillSlayer posted:

bring back helldump

SaltyJesus posted:

Could somebody try to explain the appeal of Doctor Who. Is it the standard nerd thing where length is mistaken for depth?

Beeswax posted:

Yes, this thread is definitely the place for explaining Dr Who. I can feel it.

SaltyJesus posted:

Could somebody try to explain the appeal of Doctor Who. Is it the standard nerd thing where length is mistaken for depth?