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Writer Cath
Apr 1, 2007

Box. Flipped.
Plaster Town Cop
Foley was dead on in a recent interview he did where the said the Authority has too much power. Like there's no real getting over on them, because they're the boss and they can fire you. When it's a little more balanced, it's more entertaining.

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pressedbunny
May 31, 2007

To A Brand New Galaxy
Vince was the same. The key difference was that Austin was able to piss him off so much Vince skipped firing him in favour of trying to get him beaten up more, and/or Austin would be fired and didn't give a poo poo and came back the next week anyway. The Authority isn't getting pissy. They're just smug and constantly right. Lose decisively at a PPV? Oh well, we've somehow turned Seth Rollins to our side in less than 24 hours. Cena's champion? Oh well, here's Brock Lesnar. Win Survivor Series or be thrown out? Oh well, we'll just fire, maim and threaten everybody else and nobody on this roster will fight back other than Cena who makes us a fucktonne of money anyway so that's fine. The Authority don't need their power removed, they just need to actually take a real blow for once and sell it.

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

pressedbunny posted:

Vince was the same. The key difference was that Austin was able to piss him off so much Vince skipped firing him in favour of trying to get him beaten up more, and/or Austin would be fired and didn't give a poo poo and came back the next week anyway. The Authority isn't getting pissy. They're just smug and constantly right. Lose decisively at a PPV? Oh well, we've somehow turned Seth Rollins to our side in less than 24 hours. Cena's champion? Oh well, here's Brock Lesnar. Win Survivor Series or be thrown out? Oh well, we'll just fire, maim and threaten everybody else and nobody on this roster will fight back other than Cena who makes us a fucktonne of money anyway so that's fine. The Authority don't need their power removed, they just need to actually take a real blow for once and sell it.

Vince worked because he was eventually driven mad by Austin. He stopped wanting Austin to be fired, or even drop the title, he wanted to keep Austin in the company just so he could finally beat him up.

Writer Cath
Apr 1, 2007

Box. Flipped.
Plaster Town Cop
It wasn't even that long where Hunter was so mad at Daniel that he had to be dragged to the back frothing and screaming. That was great.

Hunter and Stephanie are Mary Sue characters.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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I remember a segment where Mankind asked Vince why he just didn't fire Austin since he hated him so much and Vince's answer was "because he makes me money."

DeathChicken
Jul 9, 2012

Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

Yeah, it was the one where he fired Foley. "The reason I keep him around is that he makes me rich. You just make me sick. You're fired."

Perigryn
Oct 22, 2010

TaJaaaaadoruuuuu

Writer Cath posted:

It wasn't even that long where Hunter was so mad at Daniel that he had to be dragged to the back frothing and screaming. That was great.

Hunter and Stephanie are Mary Sue characters.
So's Cena. He's the upstanding company man but he's a rebel too. He doesn't help anyone but he's such a swell guy that others rush to lend him a hand. When he loses, it's never his fault and we get a parade of Legends showing up to praise the multiple time world champion and Never Give Up.

They might as well just made it Cena vs Triple H and left everyone else out of this.

Sushipants
Sep 8, 2010
Calling it now, the Authority gonna get replaced by Brad Maddox. Makes sense since he was fired as GM during the whole Shield/Evolution feud and he's the only recent manager-type character who could conceivably be Vince's hand-picked replacement. Also, his personal bodyguards will be the new Nation of Inspiration who will get big pushes and win all the belts.

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

Foley and Edge and Christian should all take over as GMs, not just Foley.

ColonelJohnMatrix
Jun 24, 2006

Because all fucking hell is going to break loose

All this Lesnar "will he go to UFC or is he using it as leverage against Vince for another contract" talk seems so stupid to me. Hasn't it been proven that isn't anywhere near worth what he is currently making in regards to drawing power? Why in the world would WWE resign him for a similar or larger payday in the current economic climate of the company?

What say you, numbers guys?

Tato
Jun 19, 2001

DIRECTIVE 236: Promote pro-social values
Wrestling is fake, so Brock Lesnar is worth what WWE makes him worth. They chose to take a super hot free agent, pay him lots of money, and have him lose his very first match back. They also totally revamped their PPV business model to a new one where paying a single person for a PPV appearance no longer makes sense.

Lesnar might not be worth that money, but WWE certainly didn't do much to try and make him be worth it, and I certainly can't begrudge him for taking it. Millions and millions for 11 matches in a few years? loving awesome.

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

I thought that last word was they'll let this contract finish up and be done with him since he isn't drawing. It's not totally his fault, but they know they can't afford him. So he'll put over Reigns at Wrestlemania and that'll be it.

ColonelJohnMatrix
Jun 24, 2006

Because all fucking hell is going to break loose

Tato posted:

Wrestling is fake, so Brock Lesnar is worth what WWE makes him worth. They chose to take a super hot free agent, pay him lots of money, and have him lose his very first match back. They also totally revamped their PPV business model to a new one where paying a single person for a PPV appearance no longer makes sense.

Lesnar might not be worth that money, but WWE certainly didn't do much to try and make him be worth it, and I certainly can't begrudge him for taking it. Millions and millions for 11 matches in a few years? loving awesome.

I don't begrudge Brock one bit for taking the money. Wouldn't if he did it again either. I love a wrestler having them by the balls for once. That being said, my point was does it make any fiscal sense for WWE?

Also, thanks for pointing out wrestling is fake.

Stealthed Zombie
Dec 21, 2007

And Introducing:
Dean "Titty Master" Ambrose

Codependent Poster posted:

So he'll put over Reigns Cena at Wrestlemania the next PPV they have a match and that'll be it.

Remember Cena is NUMBER ONE CONTENDER now, again.

Tato
Jun 19, 2001

DIRECTIVE 236: Promote pro-social values
I don't think it makes any financial sense for them, but who knows if that has any bearing on their decision making process. The Network model has completely upended things now, so that the numbers for one single PPV (besides stuff like RR and WM) are less important than they were before. Brock's contract may have had a chance of paying off back under the old model where you could get enough people to pay for a PPV to justify his salary, but now that's out the window.

It seems like if they ever get to their ideal Network subscription rate, they'll be so flush with cash they won't mind shelling out for the occasional big name guest star. But they're far from that at the moment so the Lesnar contract seems like a total waste to extend. Using him to build up Reigns would be the most they could get out of him. So he'll probably end up losing to Cena.

flashy_mcflash
Feb 7, 2011

ColonelJohnMatrix posted:

I don't begrudge Brock one bit for taking the money. Wouldn't if he did it again either. I love a wrestler having them by the balls for once. That being said, my point was does it make any fiscal sense for WWE?

For WWE? Probably not. For UFC he would make a difference as a draw and for Bellator it would be a game-changer. I don't know how much money Bellator (through Viacom) has to play with though.

RagingHematoma
Apr 19, 2004

Goiters can be beautiful too!
Wasn't Brock forced to retire from the UFC from all the damage his stomach illness did to him?

Yuriy
Dec 25, 2006

Pay no attention to me, for I am a stupid cunt.

flashy_mcflash posted:

For WWE? Probably not. For UFC he would make a difference as a draw and for Bellator it would be a game-changer. I don't know how much money Bellator (through Viacom) has to play with though.

This is a Scott Coker-era Bellator, reminder that he hates money and loves making big name fights so expect to see Fedor vs Lesnar in a pit of money shoot-style match soon on Spike

Thauros
Jan 29, 2003

RagingHematoma posted:

Wasn't Brock forced to retire from the UFC from all the damage his stomach illness did to him?

He wasn't forced to retire but he wasn't quite the same fighter afterwards. I don't pretend to know how much of it was lasting damage vs just getting older and not being able to train for a while.

Dana has said that he and Brock still talk regularly and he'd be happy to bring him back.

Yuriy
Dec 25, 2006

Pay no attention to me, for I am a stupid cunt.

RagingHematoma posted:

Wasn't Brock forced to retire from the UFC from all the damage his stomach illness did to him?

No, he retired because he came back too soon and this man happened



and did this

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

MassRafTer posted:

They'd never do it but if they have a prospect who is there as a talker but needs work in the ring it'd be great to see the old President character come back. Just a guy we aren't told much about, he's on the board or whatever and he's there to rule against the faces when need be and make some other announcements, slowly generating heat until you think he's ready in the ring. But Raw just needs these authority figures to be there nearly every show so joy we'll get another one.

Shaun Ricker would have been great for this but he was fired so oh well

oatgan fucked around with this message at 17:00 on Nov 21, 2014

The Cosby Mysteries
Oct 5, 2007

Happy Birthday, Mr. President
He tested positive for PEDs after that fight so I can't knock Lesnar much on that one. Overeem could be the next Bob Sapp if he wanted to get in on that sort of thing.

Shine
Feb 26, 2007

No Muscles For The Majority

The Cosby Mysteries posted:

Overeem could be the next Bob Sapp if he wanted to get in on that sort of thing.

The world needs more fighters who spin in circles as they get kicked.

achillesforever6
Apr 23, 2012

psst you wanna do a communism?
You know it is really going to suck if Team Authority loses and they do the whole thing on Raw where Vince comes out to personally fire them, but something interrupts Vince and because of that the Authority is still in power.

rare Magic card l00k
Jan 3, 2011


achillesforever6 posted:

You know it is really going to suck if Team Authority loses and they do the whole thing on Raw where Vince comes out to personally fire them, but something interrupts Vince and because of that the Authority is still in power.

That something will be Linda McMahon.

flashy_mcflash
Feb 7, 2011

achillesforever6 posted:

You know it is really going to suck if Team Authority loses and they do the whole thing on Raw where Vince comes out to personally fire them, but something interrupts Vince and because of that the Authority is still in power.

It'd also really suck if Team Cena loses and Vince comes out to interrupt the Authority before they can fire Cena and his dumb idiot pals.

What sucks the most is that one of these two sucky options are a near-certainty.

triplexpac
Mar 24, 2007

Suck it
Two tears in a bucket
And then another thing
I'm not the one they'll try their luck with
Hit hard like brass knuckles
See your face through the turnbuckle dude
I got no love for you
They should have made the stip that the losing team has to be the winning team's PERSONAL ASSISTANTS!

Tato
Jun 19, 2001

DIRECTIVE 236: Promote pro-social values
Whatever team loses, they will just do like John Cena when he was fired and show up every week anyway without changing a thing. Or they'll mumble something about boards, executives, commissioners, and power, as the power structure of WWE is amorphous, makes no sense, and changes as they need it to.

WWE needs someone with mutant powers to show up, yell "NO MORE AUTHORITY FIGURES," and will them all out of existence. Then maybe wrestling as a whole can move out of the 90s.

triplexpac
Mar 24, 2007

Suck it
Two tears in a bucket
And then another thing
I'm not the one they'll try their luck with
Hit hard like brass knuckles
See your face through the turnbuckle dude
I got no love for you

Great White Hope posted:

That something will be Linda McMahon.

This is giving me a hazy flashback... didn't they try turning Linda heel once before?

Gonzo McFee
Jun 19, 2010

triplexpac posted:

This is giving me a hazy flashback... didn't they try turning Linda heel once before?

Kicked JR in the balls, although I don't know if anything else came of it.

Monkeycheese
Feb 24, 2002

ninja minúsculo

Gonzo McFee posted:

Kicked JR in the balls, although I don't know if anything else came of it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMKP2UHeOa8

achillesforever6
Apr 23, 2012

psst you wanna do a communism?

Tato posted:

WWE needs someone with mutant powers to show up, yell "NO MORE AUTHORITY FIGURES," and will them all out of existence. Then maybe wrestling as a whole can move out of the 90s.
But but people love the 90s!!

Perigryn
Oct 22, 2010

TaJaaaaadoruuuuu

flashy_mcflash posted:

It'd also really suck if Team Cena loses and Vince comes out to interrupt the Authority before they can fire Cena and his dumb idiot pals.

What sucks the most is that one of these two sucky options are a near-certainty.
Eh, even if they did get fired, Cena will just keep showing up because he's such a swell guy that every security guard in the country lets him into the arena...because he earned their respect.

The rest of his team? Well, sucks to be them.

Dimebags Brain
Feb 18, 2013





They should just drop all pretenses and make Cena the new authority figure. He already basically runs the company and always gets what he wants so they should make that explicit.

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


triplexpac posted:

They should have made the stip that the losing team has to be the winning team's PERSONAL ASSISTANTS!

I wouldn't want Luke Harper to be my personal assistant. That seems unsafe.

triplexpac
Mar 24, 2007

Suck it
Two tears in a bucket
And then another thing
I'm not the one they'll try their luck with
Hit hard like brass knuckles
See your face through the turnbuckle dude
I got no love for you

Perigryn posted:

Eh, even if they did get fired, Cena will just keep showing up because he's such a swell guy that every security guard in the country lets him into the arena...because he earned their respect.

The rest of his team? Well, sucks to be them.

I know Cena hustles, and he probably respects the fans, but I'm really doubting his loyalty these days

boar guy
Jan 25, 2007

HAY GUYZ MAYBE THIS IS CENA FINALLY TURNING, RIGHT?!

DeathChicken
Jul 9, 2012

Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself.

Sure he will. He'll get in the ring, turn his foot and laugh.

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


Cena probably hates wrestling fans more than Vince and Dunn combined.

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fart blood
Sep 13, 2008

by VideoGames
Not sure where to put this so I figure it'll go here:

Internet News Site posted:

Screeching Weasel frontman Ben Foster, aka Ben Weasel, posted the following on Facebook regarding former WWE Superstar CM Punk:

"Okay gang, CM Punk’s been running his mouth again and it’s time to teach him a lesson. Who’s CM Punk, you ask (along with the rest of the world)? Some washed up, burnt-out, has-been former wrestler who’s been reduced to hanging out on Twitter challenging guys half his size to fist fights, that’s who. I wish I was joking.

Yours truly was targeted by the big goof when he saw a YouTube video purportedly showing me hitting two women while on stage in Austin TX a few years ago. In fact I was hugging those ladies with my fists, not that it’s any of his business. But the slobbering nitwit still challenged me to a fight, I guess so women will feel like he’s a really great guy.

Well, guess what? I don’t believe our female fans are delicate flowers in need of the protection of some oily mouth-breather who runs around in his underwear pretending to fight other men for a living. I think you ladies can hold your own. Heck, I KNOW you can.

So I’m challenging all our female fans – including all our M-F transgender fans – to stand up with us on stage at our show in Chicago on 11/22 and challenge the big goon to a fight. He thinks it’s so easy to slug a chick? Let’s see him try!

This is not a joke. If you’re up to the challenge and can throw a solid punch, or even just kick a gym-muscled bully in his shriveled-up, steroid-ravaged nuts, post in this thread. Our road manager Kotton will contact you if we can use your help. Let’s shut this buffoon’s mouth once and for all!
"

I can't even.

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