What wearable tech do you own?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > What wearable tech do you own?

Prawned: Oct 25, 2010

Oberleutnant posted:

how does what help

wearing a watch that tells you taht you are running while you are running

e: didn't know that a smartphone counts, I have one of those

# ? Nov 29, 2014 23:38

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 20, 2024 13:27

ferroque: Oct 27, 2007

is it gay if you put a fleshlight in your rear end and have someone gently caress it

# ? Nov 29, 2014 23:39

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

heres me on a quick outing to a local urban center.... got my full load out prepped and ready. nothing fancy but i sacrifice complexity for mobility on tyhis one

# ? Nov 29, 2014 23:39

Prawned: Oct 25, 2010

^^ what's in the vials

Ferroque posted:

is it gay if you put a fleshlight in your rear end and have someone gently caress it

# ? Nov 29, 2014 23:39

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

Ferroque posted:

is it gay if you put a fleshlight in your rear end and have someone gently caress it

not if you have ur balls safely tucked away. then its just being a good friend

# ? Nov 29, 2014 23:40

JiveHonky: May 12, 2001; by zen death robot; Grimey Drawer

my super slim, ultra light micropenis never gets in the way of my day to day activities!

# ? Nov 29, 2014 23:40

Juanito: Jan 20, 2004; I wasn't paying attention
to what you just said.

Can you repeat yourself
in a more interesting way?; Hell Gem

My underwear uses cotton threads to filter my farts before they enter the environment (green technology)

# ? Nov 29, 2014 23:40

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

Juanito posted:

My underwear uses cotton threads to filter my farts before they enter the environment (green technology)

same except with my piss and poo poo

# ? Nov 29, 2014 23:42

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

brainstorming here op

# ? Nov 29, 2014 23:43

XMNN: Apr 26, 2008; I am incredibly stupid

i have a watch that can tell the time. unfortunately it doesn't have the terrorist cred of my old Casio F-91W but the strap is nowhere near as lovely and it was discounted to the same price so im not complaining.

# ? Nov 29, 2014 23:47

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

a starwar betamax posted:

brainstorming here op

TheGreekOwl posted:

# ? Nov 29, 2014 23:47

CruJones: Feb 22, 2006; by Lowtax

Transition lenses and a wedge insert that I put inside my specially made sho to both correct my scoliosos and even out the lengths of my legs.

# ? Nov 29, 2014 23:48

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005; Don't forget Hitler's contributions to medicine.

I wear a Fitbit as a cock ring.

# ? Nov 29, 2014 23:49

communism bitch: Apr 24, 2009

Prawned posted:

wearing a watch that tells you taht you are running while you are running

e: didn't know that a smartphone counts, I have one of those

it measure time over distance and heart rate so u know how much INTRENSITY. and the step counter is for efficiency because efficient running style stromgly correlates with a certain number of stesp per minute. u can also get ones which measure ground contact time, vertical oscillation and impact forces (all measures of economical and efficient runnig) but im not that loving rich jesus

# ? Nov 29, 2014 23:52

ferroque: Oct 27, 2007

do people still wear those pokeman themed running fitness aids

# ? Nov 29, 2014 23:54

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

Ratjaculation posted:

3 torches... won't make u brighter LOL

You stack them so it looks like you have a dick, duh.

# ? Nov 29, 2014 23:57

communism bitch: Apr 24, 2009

Ferroque posted:

do people still wear those pokeman themed running fitness aids

i have no idea what this is so i googled what uw rote and found this

is this it? i never seen one before

# ? Nov 29, 2014 23:58

Harime Nui: Apr 15, 2008; The New Insincerity

I own a watch and...... my clothes have pockets :shrug:

# ? Nov 29, 2014 23:59

Prawned: Oct 25, 2010

Oberleutnant posted:

it measure time over distance and heart rate so u know how much INTRENSITY. and the step counter is for efficiency because efficient running style stromgly correlates with a certain number of stesp per minute. u can also get ones which measure ground contact time, vertical oscillation and impact forces (all measures of economical and efficient runnig) but im not that loving rich jesus

my bad i forgot how important intensity was

# ? Nov 29, 2014 23:59

Stoic Commie: Aug 29, 2005; by XyloJW

my load out is about a half litre of cum

# ? Nov 29, 2014 23:59

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Sir John Feelgood posted:

None. I have a smartphone and I don't even want that. I'll never wear tech.

tech will wear you

Ferroque posted:

is it gay if you put a fleshlight in your rear end and have someone gently caress it

long live the new fleshlight

# ? Nov 29, 2014 23:59

communism bitch: Apr 24, 2009

one of the managers at my work wears a pedometer every day and brags about how he walks like 3000 steps per day and im like lmfao bitch if u assume an average stride length of 1m then u walked less than 2 loving miles in an entire day lmao good job what a bigf boy you are you loving waste of life

# ? Nov 30, 2014 00:00

The Belgian: Oct 28, 2008

pants

# ? Nov 30, 2014 00:00

angerbot: Mar 23, 2004; plob

My watch has a solar panel in it so I never have to wind it or change the batteries, which is far more useful than a smart watch you have to charge every night.

# ? Nov 30, 2014 00:00

paranoid randroid: Mar 4, 2007

im a huge shambling pile of obsolete hardware irl

bring me your mechanical mice and cd rom caddies, i hunger

# ? Nov 30, 2014 00:01

communism bitch: Apr 24, 2009

angerbot posted:

My watch has a solar panel in it so I never have to wind it or change the batteries, which is far more useful than a smart watch you have to charge every night.

cool waht watch is it

# ? Nov 30, 2014 00:01

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

a starwar betamax posted:

Load-out list:

Gerber LMF II survival knife. My favorite, although not an EDC item. I think my work environment would freak out!

Pair of wire snips (scissors for cutting cable).

10 in 1 screwdriver.

Smith and Wesson folding knife (my go-to knife for just about anything. LOVE beating on this thing!).

Smith and Wesson Tac light (Favorite light in my collection).

BlueMaxx high performance light (Nice and bright).

Leatherman Monarch 400 pocket light; Came with the Leatherman Wave.

Gorrilla pod tripod for the iPhone.

Maxpedition Mini roly Poly sack. Intended use is for a water bottle. I'm reconsidering this and possibly looking for a different option.

Mechanical pencil and a pen.

Matches and a small sewing kit.

USB thumbdrive (neon green device); Every IT tech should have one!

Bluetooth headset. (If i'm honest, the standard headset that comes with the iPhone sounds better as you have both ears being used and cancelling out some external noise at the same time. This just gives convenience in mobility).

iPhone and 160 gig iPod, which holds nearly EVERY TUNE I GOT!

The silver device is an i.Trek Supermount tripod adapter that attaches to the iPhone, which in turn attaches to any tripod.

Leatherman Wave (most useful tool in the chest!).

A pair of gloves.

A pair of extra socks.

And a Nike water bottle.

look at this scrub tier worm feeder who doesn't have a surivival chord bracelet

# ? Nov 30, 2014 00:01

Pissed Ape Sexist: Apr 19, 2008

I'm considering buying a fitbit to count my steps and monitor my sleep patterns. I find myself wondering, 'am I sleepy?' and 'should I actually exercise or pretend that dog walking counts?'. I require detailed analytics to quantify how I'm a combination of self-absorption and obliviousness rivaled only by toddlers. Please shoot me in the face immediately thank you

# ? Nov 30, 2014 00:02

treasure bear: Dec 10, 2012

Digital technology isn't helping us live better lives; it is creating a layer of abstraction that distances us from reality. Listen to your body, look at the world.

# ? Nov 30, 2014 00:03

Prawned: Oct 25, 2010

angerbot posted:

My watch has a solar panel in it so I never have to wind it or change the batteries, which is far more useful than a smart watch you have to charge every night.

so you know that automatic watches have existed for like 100 years right

# ? Nov 30, 2014 00:04

naem: May 29, 2011

I have a nine inch long penis (analog)

# ? Nov 30, 2014 00:04

angerbot: Mar 23, 2004; plob

Prawned posted:

so you know that automatic watches have existed for like 100 years right

expend valuable kinetic energy? the sun is my slave.

# ? Nov 30, 2014 00:04

paranoid randroid: Mar 4, 2007

i have one of those wrist watches that render the time in a really obtuse way, with like bars and poo poo. it shows that im a devil-may-care sort who has the leisure to spend a while converting a spirograph into hours and minutes according to a fold out chart that came with my watch

# ? Nov 30, 2014 00:06