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HappyKitty posted:Gandalf played by Ricky Gervais calls up Bilbo periodically, all "Bilbo, you bald Shire twat! Why the gently caress are you lounging about the Elf-King's halls? Go stuff yourself in the god-drat barrel we arranged for you!" Movie of the year to be sure
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Dec 26, 2014 18:24
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HappyKitty posted:Gandalf played by Ricky Gervais calls up Bilbo periodically, all "Bilbo, you bald Shire twat! Why the gently caress are you lounging about the Elf-King's halls? Go stuff yourself in the god-drat barrel we arranged for you!" http://youtu.be/bg8NS6s0fkw
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Dec 26, 2014 18:35
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Greed is eternal posted:gollum's not aligned with Sauron gollum has abandoned his unalligned status with NATO
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Dec 26, 2014 18:54
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Leggo my Eggolas.
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Dec 26, 2014 19:10
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Real talk: To my shame, I saw the LOTR movies before I read the book (which is fantastic) and I never really got the danger or menace of the ring in the movies. The closest I came to "getting it" was when Boromir went temporarily insane. But otherwise, it was a ring that made you invisible and corrupted you - big deal. The book makes it much clearer how dangerous it is.
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Dec 26, 2014 19:51
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Rad Gravity posted:Dragons, like all other things, have become much shittier in these latter days, and are thus unsuited for advanced metallurgy getting reeeeaaal sick of this trope in fantasy. why cant poo poo be better than it ever was. dark age bullshits just that. bullshit
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Dec 26, 2014 19:59
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the only thing worse than mordor is gay elf mordor
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Dec 26, 2014 20:14
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redshirt posted:The book makes it much clearer how dangerous it is. No it loving doesn't. "It's a ring that makes you invisible and corrupts you, also it exerts power over the other rings in some nebulous way". Big fuckin' whoop. Now let's all sit around and sing songs every twenty pages!
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Dec 26, 2014 20:42
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Well that and it lets you impose your will on others, particularly orcs and such I think, so you get to have massive armies and set yourself up as the new dark lord. Or if you're a hobbit you get to make massive gardens and be the lord of pipeweed.
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Dec 26, 2014 20:54
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Rad Gravity posted:Well that and it lets you impose your will on others, particularly orcs and such I think, so you get to have massive armies and set yourself up as the new dark lord. Or if you're a hobbit you get to make massive gardens and be the lord of pipeweed. It's pretty easy to handle a haunted ring that tempts you with power when power seems like a distraction from your true love, weed and eating.
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Dec 26, 2014 21:25
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Ok I thought it was dumb at first but the more I read about "Bilbo and Thorin go to (Saruman the) White's Castle" the funnier it seems.
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Dec 27, 2014 05:37
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dog buttz posted:It's pretty easy to handle a haunted ring that tempts you with power when power seems like a distraction from your true love, weed and eating. In the movies it seemed like it was the shiny property of the ring that got to them. They really drive that point home. It's shiny , we get it. Peter Jackson won an Academy Award for that.
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Dec 27, 2014 05:58
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I'm sad the movies are over 
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Dec 27, 2014 08:46
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The last hobbit movie gave me a real trauma and compulsion to kill orcs that is affecting my personal & professional life
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Dec 27, 2014 08:47
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OP missed the part where Frodo offered the ring to Galadriel (i.e. a super-elf) and she did a quick synopsis of what would happen (elven North Korea)
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Dec 27, 2014 09:04
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She already had a ring e: i'm really infuratied by the title
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Dec 27, 2014 09:07
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she didnt have the one ring to rule them all.
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Dec 27, 2014 09:08
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she's already undead... this is why u cant give elves this stuff
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Dec 27, 2014 09:09
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i would like to have given her my baby batter iykwim.
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Dec 27, 2014 09:11
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opus111 posted:i would like to have given her my baby batter iykwim.  would be enslaved forever in her dark kingdom ANIME IS BLOOD fucked around with this message at 09:17 on Dec 27, 2014 |
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Dec 27, 2014 09:15
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IT seems like you have to know what you are doing, or at least already have some serious magical power to actually put the power in the ring to use. Everyone else just played with it and turned invis/realmwalked before getting themselves killed or hiding out for hundreds of years masturbating with it. I'm guessing if Sarumon or the Galadriel had it they would actually be able to control fuckers with it. Or cast Ultima. Or something.
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Dec 27, 2014 09:25
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I wish had the ring
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Dec 27, 2014 09:30
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The Mad Archivist posted:
she wore my dick,, then she made that face
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Dec 27, 2014 09:40
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then she turned invisible, snuck right out
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Dec 27, 2014 09:41
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im lonely
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Dec 27, 2014 09:42
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Frostwerks posted:im lonely kiss me
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Dec 27, 2014 09:51
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The Mad Archivist posted:OP missed the part where Frodo offered the ring to Galadriel (i.e. a super-elf) and she did a quick synopsis of what would happen (elven North Korea) FFWD to 3:00 to see galadrials lady boner http://youtu.be/wZautQ0yhm4
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Dec 27, 2014 09:51
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what the poo poo do these super powerful beings do all day, hayer just loving lazy as gently caress and are stupid as poo poo. like, use your magic productively you dumb fucks. gandalf uses his magic to get hosed up and honestly thats cool, thats a cool thing to do why doesn't galadriel or saruman or whatever, like, use their explosive magic to help mine minerals for poor people or something. and if the elves are so smart why didn't they invent the iPhone huh instead of those faggy bows and arrows. like, use a gun, idiot. if the Manbeast developed firearms the rest of the world would be hosed. or, like, airplanes with guns on them? hosed. honestly the Age of Man is gonna be the best because you know we're gonna genocide the poo poo out of the ugly ones, and gently caress the poo poo out of the pretty ones (elfs).
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Dec 27, 2014 09:55
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WHAT A GOOD DOG posted:what the poo poo do these super powerful beings do all day, hayer just loving lazy as gently caress and are stupid as poo poo. like, use your magic productively you dumb fucks. gandalf uses his magic to get hosed up and honestly thats cool, thats a cool thing to do o/////////////////////////////k.............. 
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Dec 27, 2014 09:56
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WHAT A GOOD DOG posted:what the poo poo do these super powerful beings do all day, hayer just loving lazy as gently caress and are stupid as poo poo. like, use your magic productively you dumb fucks. gandalf uses his magic to get hosed up and honestly thats cool, thats a cool thing to do heh..... I don't think you ""get"" John Ronald Reuel Tolkien's epic masterwork, my friend 
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Dec 27, 2014 10:00
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The Mad Archivist posted:heh..... I don't think you ""get"" John Ronald Reuel Tolkien's epic masterwork, my friend yeah and like, okay, why do elves even have their own dumb language if they speak english to each other when there are only elvish-speakers around anyways. thats like a spanish-speaking family in mexico city, mexico speaking swedish over dinner
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Dec 27, 2014 10:04
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and also, like, okay, are elves not loving humans? like, humans idolize the poo poo out of them, so why doesn't some fine-rear end elf sneak on in and woo some fine-rear end human with its 1000-year-old, perfected art of seduction. If they live forever, surely they got good at banging and seducing right, so why are the elves sitting around eating loving vegan black beans out of lettuce cups listening to harps instead of getting into some really depraved sexual poo poo imagine you had to live forever, and you were looking to entertain yourself. would you listen to another stupid loving sonnet about some dude falling in love or some dude killing/being killed or would you pop down to the slut shack and pick up some PYT. and also if you're an elf and you're married like you have got to be bored of that girl. what if an elf marries an ugly elf, like, that loving sucks because its not even going to change forever. that ugly elf is gonna be an ugly elf forever.
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Dec 27, 2014 10:11
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and elfish soldiers are retarded. if you're an immortal (at least from death by natural causes) and you're going to fight a much more disposable army with your precious soldiers, maybe don't fight them in a high-casualty way like with swords???? elfs have books and can make machines, why not make some loving war machines which are way more disposable than your immortalish people. the orcs are way dumber and even they figured out a way to bring a catapult to a sword fight across the world. elfs are all assuredly going to fight the orcs in, lets say, the next 100 years. they're going to fight orc infantry. they are immortal. why don't they take a couple weekends every year and learn to bring 500+ arrows to a fight, draw super fast and with great aim, and kill 500+ orcs each before they start swinging swords (where they lose, like 90% of the time because they're retarded. and also, battle of helms deep. the orcs are charging in from a chokepoint and are mired down in a watery/swampish area. just shoot arrows at them, don't charge at them like a retard.
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Dec 27, 2014 10:20
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WHAT A GOOD DOG posted:and also, like, okay, are elves not loving humans? like, humans idolize the poo poo out of them, so why doesn't some fine-rear end elf sneak on in and woo some fine-rear end human with its 1000-year-old, perfected art of seduction. If they live forever, surely they got good at banging and seducing right, so why are the elves sitting around eating loving vegan black beans out of lettuce cups listening to harps instead of getting into some really depraved sexual poo poo this is basically the backstory of the Ayleid Empire from the Elder Scrolls. I recommend you play The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion to find out more
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Dec 27, 2014 10:21
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The Mad Archivist posted:this is basically the backstory of the Ayleid Empire from the Elder Scrolls. I recommend you play The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion to find out more ayleid more like ayyy laid, am i right
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Dec 27, 2014 10:22
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I see the Ring like an F-35. You need some skills to really control it. This isn't Battlefield Earth
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Dec 27, 2014 12:37
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Decebal posted:I see the Ring like an F-35. You need some skills to really control it. This isn't Battlefield Earth The Ring crashes and stops working whenever it gets cold/hot/goes outside?
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Dec 27, 2014 12:46
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gold is a very gaudy colour for jewelry sauron should have chosen a silvery metal
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Dec 27, 2014 12:47
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Decebal posted:I see the Ring like an F-35. You need some skills to really control it. This isn't Battlefield Earth <slips on Ring> <Ring explodes into flame for no reason>
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Dec 27, 2014 12:53
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Decebal posted:I see the Ring like an F-35. You need some skills to really control it. This isn't Battlefield Earth I think the point with the ring was that you *couldn't* destroy it very easily
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Dec 27, 2014 12:54
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