The bing to the McNugget bong, the ding to the dong: Ads You Hate.

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > The bing to the McNugget bong, the ding to the dong: Ads You Hate.

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Bloody Hedgehog: Dec 12, 2003; 💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something

ayn rand hand job posted:

Technically there's still some stores who never switched to the Gamestop branding after EB got bought out

I wouldn't say it's "technically", as they're all still EB here in Canada.

# ? Jan 3, 2015 16:09

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 20:21

PT6A: Jan 5, 2006; Public school teachers are callous dictators who won't lift a finger to stop children from peeing in my plane

That Robox posted:

And in between verses there was a lady listing off who she was going to buy tickets for. Mailman, Grandparents, Little Bobby's teacher, pretty much the whole neighborhood.

It was pretty over the top and cheesy. They just seem to get more elaborate pushing the lottery tickets for gifts thing each year. Is that a common thing people do? Have I been missing out?

My parents got me a lottery ticket pack, that they proceeded to do themselves because they correctly guessed that I wasn't going to have the time or patience to scratch the miserable loving things in hopes that I could win literally ones of dollars. Christ, for how long some of the more involved games (like Bingo or Crossword) take, I could just do my job and be sure to earn more money.

The ads here made very clear, though, that lottery scratchers are not for kids because it's gambling and gambling is very, very bad. Frankly, I think that's the wrong lesson. The right lesson is that, if other people let you gamble with their money with no consequences if you don't win, you should always do it 100% of the time! That's responsible gambling right there.

EDIT: Also, kids are the only ones with enough time to actually do the lottery scratchers.

# ? Jan 3, 2015 17:54

Canned Panda: Jul 10, 2012

That Robox posted:

I'm glad the Christmas season is over, I've always hated the Michigan lottery "give scratch-off tickets as gifts" ads.

There was a new radio one I heard this year that stood out as pretty awful. I kinda wish I could find the lyrics to it. It was a woman singing a song that started off something like "Hope ya don't think I forgot, everything you've done for meeeee!"

And in between verses there was a lady listing off who she was going to buy tickets for. Mailman, Grandparents, Little Bobby's teacher, pretty much the whole neighborhood.

It was pretty over the top and cheesy. They just seem to get more elaborate pushing the lottery tickets for gifts thing each year. Is that a common thing people do? Have I been missing out?

Fellow Michigoon here, and I agree. That commercial was the worst! And yes, there was a TV version of it as well.

Did you think that I'd forget all the things you do for me? I didn't, so here's a probably worthless piece of paper!

# ? Jan 3, 2015 18:13

PT6A: Jan 5, 2006; Public school teachers are callous dictators who won't lift a finger to stop children from peeing in my plane

Canned Panda posted:

Did you think that I'd forget all the things you do for me? I didn't, so here's a probably worthless piece of paper!

Our's are better. You're guaranteed a (very small) prize in each holiday ticket package. So, you'll win at least $2 on the thing that cost $20, and you probably have to put in an hour to scratch all of them. Wonderful, isn't it?

# ? Jan 3, 2015 18:53

Zeether: Aug 26, 2011

That Robox posted:

I'm glad the Christmas season is over, I've always hated the Michigan lottery "give scratch-off tickets as gifts" ads.

There was a new radio one I heard this year that stood out as pretty awful. I kinda wish I could find the lyrics to it. It was a woman singing a song that started off something like "Hope ya don't think I forgot, everything you've done for meeeee!"

And in between verses there was a lady listing off who she was going to buy tickets for. Mailman, Grandparents, Little Bobby's teacher, pretty much the whole neighborhood.

It was pretty over the top and cheesy. They just seem to get more elaborate pushing the lottery tickets for gifts thing each year. Is that a common thing people do? Have I been missing out?

Florida does this every year for their scratch off tickets and it's the worst poo poo ever.

"Scratch off games, scratch off games..." to the tune of Jingle Bells or some other Christmas tune. I avoided it this year because I didn't listen to the one station that plays them often much, but good god it's irritating.

# ? Jan 3, 2015 19:05

PaganGoatPants: Jan 18, 2012; TODAY WAS THE SPECIAL SALE DAY!; Grimey Drawer

Sounds like a party. Woop. Woop. :geno:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_6QlccPuG0

# ? Jan 3, 2015 20:31

That Robox: Mar 15, 2010

Zeether posted:

Florida does this every year for their scratch off tickets and it's the worst poo poo ever.

"Scratch off games, scratch off games..." to the tune of Jingle Bells or some other Christmas tune. I avoided it this year because I didn't listen to the one station that plays them often much, but good god it's irritating.

Yeah, that's how it usually is here, catchy but obnoxious jingles but this one was like a full-on pop ballad so it took me by surprise. I was pretty lucky to avoid most TV ads because I rarely watch anymore.

I don't tend to listen to the radio when I drive, but this winter I've had to do work with some friends who are all country music addicts, so I got to have all the Christmas ads, godawful country Christmas carols, plus that Christmas Cookie song they played like every half hour.

:suicide:

# ? Jan 3, 2015 20:35

raditts: Feb 21, 2001; The Kwanzaa Bot is here to protect me.

ayn rand hand job posted:

Technically there's still some stores who never switched to the Gamestop branding after EB got bought out

Also I just discovered that EB started in King of Prussia, PA.

Which is a great town name if you're looking to attract German tourists or something idk

It's got a nice mall, and a nice Ikea.

PT6A posted:

My parents got me a lottery ticket pack, that they proceeded to do themselves because they correctly guessed that I wasn't going to have the time or patience to scratch the miserable loving things in hopes that I could win literally ones of dollars. Christ, for how long some of the more involved games (like Bingo or Crossword) take, I could just do my job and be sure to earn more money.

Scratching the "game" part is a formality these days, since the only part that counts is the QR code that you scan at the lottery counter to see if the ticket ID corresponds to "LOSER" or the amount you've won.

Lottery life hacks :eng101:

raditts fucked around with this message at 20:55 on Jan 3, 2015

# ? Jan 3, 2015 20:52

Tedd_Not_Ed: Feb 16, 2014; I've seen games go perfect for 12 innings all for naught. I've seen no-hitters pitched on illicit drugs. Homer streaks lasting eight games and 20 run losses. I've seen pennants won and seasons collapse. All these memories will be lost in time. Like tears in the rain.

Time to die.

ayn rand hand job posted:

Also I just discovered that EB started in King of Prussia, PA.

Which is a great town name if you're looking to attract German tourists or something idk

The name, like many old towns with strange names, comes from the name of the local tavern. Often times this local tavern was also the location of the post office so any mail to the town was delivered to the King of Prussia Tavern :eng101:

# ? Jan 3, 2015 21:25

Sarah: Apr 4, 2005; I'm watching you.

PaganGoatPants posted:

Sounds like a party. Woop. Woop.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_6QlccPuG0

What the... I don't like Domino's, but if I download this app and say that I better get the woop woop :geno:

or I'll be very disappointed.

# ? Jan 3, 2015 21:26

Good soup!: Nov 2, 2010

gently caress that loving jeep ad with that loving "I bet my life" song, god drat, I must see that stupid loving thing at least twenty times every time I watch a hockey game

# ? Jan 4, 2015 01:31

ElwoodCuse: Jan 11, 2004; we're puttin' the band back together

raditts posted:

It's got a nice mall, and a nice Ikea.

The mall owns, I remember going to the Kiddie City there way before they like, tripled the size of it with snooty poo poo

# ? Jan 4, 2015 09:30

Majorian: Jul 1, 2009; Inverted Offensive Battle: Acupuncture Attacks Convert To 3D Penetration Tactics Taking Advantage of Deep Battle Opportunities

raditts posted:

The "rap" part of Rapture is terrible though

This. The only example of rap worse than this is French rap. The only thing to occur in the 80's that was whiter than the rap part of "Rapture" is the Bowie/Jagger "Dancing in the Street" video.

# ? Jan 4, 2015 10:17

Macdeo Lurjtux: Jul 5, 2011; BRRREADSTOOORRM!

raditts posted:

It's got a nice mall, and a nice Ikea.

For the longest time I thought King of Prussia was just the mall's name and that people always just they're going to King of Prussia because the mall is really the only thing worthwhile in the town.

# ? Jan 4, 2015 14:27

Nerdfest X: Feb 7, 2008; UberDork Extreme

Kids do not Skype with Santa, they write him letters, or see him at the Mall.

Kids do not talk to Santa after Christmas.

Kids do not ask Santa for a real car.

Santa doesn't care if there is a sale at the car dealership, the elves make it or Santa just has it appear out of thin air with *Christmas Magic*

I'm not sure where I stand with Santa playing golf in Florida during the off-season.

# ? Jan 5, 2015 15:10

Tree Dude: May 26, 2012; AND MY SONG IS...

I read a story in Wired years ago about a guy who could tell a winning ticket from a losing one on a particular scratch off. It was pretty interesting.

Edit: off topic post made days after it would have been more relevant. At least have a link

http://www.wired.com/2011/01/ff_lottery/all/

Tree Dude fucked around with this message at 16:33 on Jan 5, 2015

# ? Jan 5, 2015 16:29

Cosmik Slop: Oct 9, 2007; What's a hole doing in my TARDIS?

Mokinokaro posted:

The commercial is their first commercial so XP might've been state of the art at the time.

My favourite bit is "Look at all those nos" followed by "look at all those yeses"

Supports All Browsers
No CD Rom To Install
Safe Registry Cleaner
Intelligent Folder Mover
Option To Shred Clutter
Easy Undo Clean Up
24/7 Online Support

Dang it! Why did I buy "competition" for fifty bucks when WinCleaner is a YES on every one of those?!

# ? Jan 5, 2015 18:03

Gonz: Dec 22, 2009; "Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

Unintelligent Folder Moving is where it's at.

# ? Jan 5, 2015 18:06

vyst: Aug 25, 2009

Gonz posted:

Unintelligent Folder Moving is where it's at.

I hate when my folders up and move themselves in the dumbest way possible.

# ? Jan 5, 2015 21:10

RMZXAnarchy: Sep 9, 2011; *Insert Sailor Jupiter joke here*

Nerdfest X posted:

Kids do not Skype with Santa, they write him letters, or see him at the Mall.

Kids do not talk to Santa after Christmas.

Kids do not ask Santa for a real car.

Santa doesn't care if there is a sale at the car dealership, the elves make it or Santa just has it appear out of thin air with *Christmas Magic*

I'm not sure where I stand with Santa playing golf in Florida during the off-season.

Holy poo poo, Northland Ford?

I was gonna bring those up here but since they're local commercials I didn't really think they'd be relevant.

Also who the hell makes a commercial in standard def 4:3 in 2014-2015 anymore? I get it with old commercials since there's lots of them but for some reason car dealerships just keep doing these on the cheap.

# ? Jan 6, 2015 07:23

McSpanky: Jan 16, 2005

RMZXAnarchy posted:

Holy poo poo, Northland Ford?

I was gonna bring those up here but since they're local commercials I didn't really think they'd be relevant.

Also who the hell makes a commercial in standard def 4:3 in 2014-2015 anymore? I get it with old commercials since there's lots of them but for some reason car dealerships just keep doing these on the cheap.

I'm pretty sure I've seen recent local car commercials done on videotape, possibly even VHS. I think just run that poo poo til it breaks and then get whatever's available on craigslist the next day.

# ? Jan 6, 2015 09:59

Pity Party Animal: Jul 23, 2006

RMZXAnarchy posted:

Holy poo poo, Northland Ford?

I was gonna bring those up here but since they're local commercials I didn't really think they'd be relevant.

Also who the hell makes a commercial in standard def 4:3 in 2014-2015 anymore? I get it with old commercials since there's lots of them but for some reason car dealerships just keep doing these on the cheap.

This must be a nationally produced spot edited for local relevance because I see it here too in Denver. The audio is cut so weird; listening to it without watching, it sounds like the elf is calling the fat girl "big guy."

# ? Jan 6, 2015 20:47

Tedd_Not_Ed: Feb 16, 2014; I've seen games go perfect for 12 innings all for naught. I've seen no-hitters pitched on illicit drugs. Homer streaks lasting eight games and 20 run losses. I've seen pennants won and seasons collapse. All these memories will be lost in time. Like tears in the rain.

Time to die.

It is a national ad, as I can attest to seeing it in Suburban Phoenix, the North Panhandle of West Virginia, Southwestern Pennsylvania, and North Eastern Maryland in that order this year.

Speaking of which, I remember the earliest version near Thanksgiving began with Santa incredulously saying "It's only November!" If the characters in your Christmas Ad are questioning why there's Christmas Ads in November it might be a sign that something's not right here.

# ? Jan 6, 2015 23:47

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

The radio commercials for National Auto Plaza in Utah are plain old hard to listen to.

It has three layers to it. The first track is the announcer rushing through all the information as fast yet coherent as possible. The second track is the music jingle, "Isn't It Time To Go National" which has a constant beat throughout the whole thing. And this is all fine and good, it's just a commercial but the third audio track is loud obnoxious sound effects. And they're not contextually tied in to what the announcer's saying, they're just sound effects.

Every time the announcer says the word 'Car' or mentions a specific make there's a horn honking; whenever he mentions money there's a loud crashing of coins like at a slot machine; and whenever he mentions the phone number or says 'call us' (which is a lot) they play the sound of a telephone dialing. All this I might add almost drown out the other two tracks.

I know people aren't supposed to pay attention to radio ads so sometimes they just chuck in the basic elements but it's just thirty seconds of noise. At one point it feels Pavlovian, or like I'm being programmed to become a sleeper agent for a foreign power.

# ? Jan 7, 2015 05:28

FuzzySkinner: May 23, 2012

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7Fcz/dominos-pizza-carryout-experts

oh jesus christ domino's.

Those poor loving people stuck making minimum wage get stuck trying to make a billion pizzas because you're trying to make some bullshit point?

Go gently caress yourselves. I've had to actually work at a place like this. It's a living hell, and you get stuck working to god know's when having to do dishes because of this poo poo.

gently caress Corporate America and their dumbass "tests".

# ? Jan 8, 2015 01:44

PaganGoatPants: Jan 18, 2012; TODAY WAS THE SPECIAL SALE DAY!; Grimey Drawer

Those drat Match.com commercials.

:v:

"You know anyone that uses Match?"

;-*

"yes my friend met her husband there."

:v:

"And what about you?"

;-*

"Uhh nothing yet."

:colbert:

"Well aren't you an idiot for not using Match."

# ? Jan 10, 2015 21:36

Mister Kingdom: Dec 14, 2005; And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

No link, but there's a Lipozene commercial that's five loving minutes long. I was watching something on the DVR and kept hitting the FF button (30 second skip) and it just kept going on and on. I thought I had recorded an infomercial.

Same goes for a commercial for Dragon speech recognition software. It ran during Christmas and had the most annoying background music. It was the same 10 second loop played over and over.

# ? Jan 10, 2015 22:21

Nerdfest X: Feb 7, 2008; UberDork Extreme

Not a TV commercial, but I got this phone call:

"This is a special message for *~NerdfestX~*.
This is not a timeshare or mortgage refinance promotion.
To receive this special message for *~NerdfestX~* call back Monday through Friday, between 7 AM and 4 PM at" - /CLICK/

gently caress off. Don't call ME telling me to call YOU.

# ? Jan 11, 2015 01:28

McSpanky: Jan 16, 2005

Nerdfest X posted:

Not a TV commercial, but I got this phone call:

"This is a special message for *~NerdfestX~*.
This is not a timeshare or mortgage refinance promotion.
To receive this special message for *~NerdfestX~* call back Monday through Friday, between 7 AM and 4 PM at" - /CLICK/

gently caress off. Don't call ME telling me to call YOU.

Ugh gently caress this poo poo so much, and double gently caress the calls where they call you and then put you on hold without even telling you what the hell is going on. Eat my rear end, telemarketers or whoever the gently caress can't even answer the phone when YOU'RE THE ONE CALLING ME! :rant:

# ? Jan 11, 2015 01:38

Cage: Jul 17, 2003; www.revivethedrive.org

Thread title didnt specifically say TV ads.

I got an apartment 7 years ago. I signed up for DirecTV for one day, realized it was pretty lovely and canceled the next day. Ever since then I've been getting a letter from them, roughly once every two months. Its not a standard envelope, its greeting card sized and has no DirectTV logos. It even has a handwritten font to make it look like its from a person, not a corporation. Open it up and its just DirecTV pamphlets asking me to come back.

loving one day I was signed up.

# ? Jan 11, 2015 02:13

SpacePig: Apr 4, 2007; I'M FEELING JIMMY

Saw an ad today for the new Camry. I know car commercials are always pretty stupid, if not completely uninteresting, but this one was special. It suggested that a guy drove to a wedding in his new Camry, and the bride, right then and there, decided to leave her husband at the altar. And everyone was so impressed with the car that even dogs stopped the groom from chasing them. gently caress you.

# ? Jan 11, 2015 02:13

Cage: Jul 17, 2003; www.revivethedrive.org

Remember the Subaru ad with the garage sale hunter? Hes a pro getting all the deals, then a new rival keeps showing up before him in a Subaru. So one day he buy a Subaru himself and suddenly hes now able to beat the other Subaru dude.

Just leave 5 minutes earlier dude.

# ? Jan 11, 2015 02:23

muscles like this!: Jan 17, 2005

I want to murder everyone in the Geico zoo commercial. As well as everyone involved with making it.

# ? Jan 11, 2015 03:16

Mahoning: Feb 3, 2007

Cage posted:

Thread title didnt specifically say TV ads.

I got an apartment 7 years ago. I signed up for DirecTV for one day, realized it was pretty lovely and canceled the next day. Ever since then I've been getting a letter from them, roughly once every two months. Its not a standard envelope, its greeting card sized and has no DirectTV logos. It even has a handwritten font to make it look like its from a person, not a corporation. Open it up and its just DirecTV pamphlets asking me to come back.

loving one day I was signed up.

In their defense, directv actually is better than almost every pay TV service.

# ? Jan 11, 2015 06:06

Cage: Jul 17, 2003; www.revivethedrive.org

Look at this guy who doesn't have fios.

# ? Jan 11, 2015 06:09

Mahoning: Feb 3, 2007

Cage posted:

Look at this guy who doesn't have fios.

I did say almost.

# ? Jan 11, 2015 06:12

Vicas: Dec 9, 2009; Sweet tricks, mom.

Cage posted:

Thread title didnt specifically say TV ads.

I got an apartment 7 years ago. I signed up for DirecTV for one day, realized it was pretty lovely and canceled the next day. Ever since then I've been getting a letter from them, roughly once every two months. Its not a standard envelope, its greeting card sized and has no DirectTV logos. It even has a handwritten font to make it look like its from a person, not a corporation. Open it up and its just DirecTV pamphlets asking me to come back.

loving one day I was signed up.

Optimum has spent the last year telling me I could add a phone line to my cable/internet and keep paying exactly what I'm paying now*

_{(*for the next 12 months at which point rates hike)}

# ? Jan 11, 2015 07:40

Nerdfest X: Feb 7, 2008; UberDork Extreme

Cage posted:

Thread title didnt specifically say TV ads.

I got an apartment 7 years ago. I signed up for DirecTV for one day, realized it was pretty lovely and canceled the next day. Ever since then I've been getting a letter from them, roughly once every two months. Its not a standard envelope, its greeting card sized and has no DirectTV logos. It even has a handwritten font to make it look like its from a person, not a corporation. Open it up and its just DirecTV pamphlets asking me to come back.

loving one day I was signed up.

For mail that is unwanted, I take comfort in the fact that they continue to have me on a list, and put forth the time/resources/effort/expense to send me something on a regular basis, when I toss it straight in the trash without opening it and I am never. Ever. EVER. going to buy a single thing from them or give them a dime from now to until when the Sun goes supernova.

# ? Jan 11, 2015 14:17

Tree Dude: May 26, 2012; AND MY SONG IS...

Cage posted:

Thread title didnt specifically say TV ads.

I got an apartment 7 years ago. I signed up for DirecTV for one day, realized it was pretty lovely and canceled the next day. Ever since then I've been getting a letter from them, roughly once every two months. Its not a standard envelope, its greeting card sized and has no DirectTV logos. It even has a handwritten font to make it look like its from a person, not a corporation. Open it up and its just DirecTV pamphlets asking me to come back.

loving one day I was signed up.

I get the same poo poo and they wouldn't even sign me up. They came out and said that my location had too many trees for satellite or something.

# ? Jan 11, 2015 20:54

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 20:21

FuzzySkinner: May 23, 2012

http://adage.com/article/cmo-strate...m_medium=Social

welp McDonalds just hosed up.

# ? Jan 11, 2015 22:08

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > The bing to the McNugget bong, the ding to the dong: Ads You Hate.

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