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You know what's weird about MLMs? Everybody knows not to give a drug addict money because they're just going to use it on drugs, but some people will grit their teeth and say 'I'm just going to buy something to get them off my back' when the cutco/avon/etc person comes knocking at their door. It's the same thing, though, because the drug user and the MLM rep have an equal chance of losing all their money and are equally lovely friends.
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Mar 26, 2015 21:43
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Naerasa posted:You know what's weird about MLMs? Everybody knows not to give a drug addict money because they're just going to use it on drugs, but some people will grit their teeth and say 'I'm just going to buy something to get them off my back' when the cutco/avon/etc person comes knocking at their door. It's the same thing, though, because the drug user and the MLM rep have an equal chance of losing all their money and are equally lovely friends. a lot of MLMs are based around having parties (like tupperware), specifically because its hard to turn someone down when you're at their party
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Mar 26, 2015 22:59
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FactsAreUseless posted:I don't think most MLM schemes ask you to gently caress your friends and family and then smash their heads in with rocks. MLM schemes absolutely ask you to gently caress your friends and family.
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Mar 26, 2015 23:29
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raditts posted:MLM schemes absolutely ask you to gently caress your friends and family. It's basically in their literature. They train you to first go to friends and family and try and sell them the crap and/or recruit them
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Mar 26, 2015 23:52
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I wonder why Scientology puts so much effort into their scam when they could have just cornered the market on MLM's...
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Mar 27, 2015 00:43
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FactsAreUseless posted:The GOP wants to be seen as supporting small businesses and entrepreneurs, and Amway is the most widely-accepted MLM company. Who's a smaller businessman than some idiot selling Amway door to door? LOL if you actually believe this, if you're trolling good job and more of a lol in that case
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Mar 27, 2015 00:55
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Dr. Video Games 0112 posted:LOL if you actually believe this, if you're trolling good job and more of a lol in that case It's pretty much a scientific fact you shithead
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Mar 27, 2015 01:59
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The number one freedom to conservatives is the freedom to con and be conned.
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Mar 27, 2015 02:05
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Professor Shark posted:I wonder why Scientology puts so much effort into their scam when they could have just cornered the market on MLM's... Scientology's a, for lack of a better term, pyramid with much steeper walls. There are like what 30k Scientologists worldwide? How many catladies does Avon have to wrangle?
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Mar 27, 2015 02:08
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Dr. Video Games 0112 posted:LOL if you actually believe this, if you're trolling good job and more of a lol in that case
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Mar 27, 2015 02:38
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Anyone remember that E/N thread where some goon's girlfriend somehow got scammed into travelling to the US from England to sell encyclopedias? Step one was being told that the company wouldn't actually provide the promised housing and they had to go door to door until they convinced someone to let them stay with them (this was a lesson in the power of salesmanship). There was one goon in the thread who used to do the same thing who kept arguing that even though he got scammed into working 16 hour days for a commission that worked out to less than minimum wage, it had taught him mental toughness and prepared him for any challenge life might throw his way.
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Mar 27, 2015 02:44
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P-Mack posted:Anyone remember that E/N thread where some goon's girlfriend somehow got scammed into travelling to the US from England to sell encyclopedias? Step one was being told that the company wouldn't actually provide the promised housing and they had to go door to door until they convinced someone to let them stay with them (this was a lesson in the power of salesmanship). people always tell this story but no one ever provides a quote it may be a goon urban legend
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Mar 27, 2015 02:51
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P-Mack posted:Anyone remember that E/N thread where some goon's girlfriend somehow got scammed into travelling to the US from England to sell encyclopedias? Step one was being told that the company wouldn't actually provide the promised housing and they had to go door to door until they convinced someone to let them stay with them (this was a lesson in the power of salesmanship). I'm pretty sure this is the company that tried to recruit me in college. It's called Southwestern and the fact that they dump you in a random part of the country without any living arrangements was advertised as one of the selling points, because it teaches you how to bootstrap I guess.
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Mar 27, 2015 02:57
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raditts posted:MLM schemes absolutely ask you to gently caress your friends and family. Some ask you to isolate yourself from detractors who get in the way of your success and not debate them.
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Mar 27, 2015 03:15
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Family is all about supporting one another. If your family won't support you, they're not really your family are they?
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Mar 27, 2015 03:18
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babypolis posted:people always tell this story but no one ever provides a quote it may be a goon urban legend nah i read that entire thread, it might even be goldmined. its really old though. i remember because a few weeks after i read it, i had my first cutco experience and that thread was fresh in my memory. apparently cutco in my region uses more or less made up business names that they change the second anything comes up on google to trick people into showing up to their recruitment sessions. is that a thing everywhere else? i remember being really suspicious when i got the call but absolutely nothing came up on google when i searched whatever name they gave me, so i actually showed up and nope i stumbled into a knife salesmen cult. VendaGoat posted:Family is all about supporting one another. cutco was literally pushing selling knives to family members on me in however long i sat there enjoying the show before i walked out. this isn't even hyperbole, its one of the first thing mlm schemes will try to get you to do. within the first 10 minutes they're talking about how selling to your family early on (because 99% of people sell dumb knives to their family and neighbors before running out of "leads") to get into higher commission brackets. scummy as gently caress. the only way to make money in mlm is to be a soulless vampire dickbag mlm recruiter and profit off of all the idiots you sucker into selling their friends and family mystical fruit energy drinks. HEY VAPER fucked around with this message at 03:36 on Mar 27, 2015 |
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Mar 27, 2015 03:33
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OK so here's a story about Todd and some kind of ridiculous MLM. When I first moved to Tallahassee to go to FSU, a friend of mine from home named Todd told me he'd move in with me. This was the plan: Move in with JS, get a job, profit, live a decent life. Well, for the first 2 weeks Todd basically did nothing but play Super Black Bass on SNES and gently caress off so hard it registered on gently caress-off sensors in Japan. At the end of this 2 week period he was running out of money and saying things like, "Hey... JS... could I have some of your slices of ham?" which is still one of the funniest requests ever. So he finally starts looking for a job. This is like 1995 or so, so he hits up the newspaper. I come home one day and he is just as smug as poo poo, think  x a million. "Dude, I got this whipped, look at this!" He shows me an ad that is blatantly, obviously a huge scam, MAKE $100,000+ A YEAR OWNING YOUR OWN BUSINESS, NO EXPERIENCE REQUIRED, NOTHING REQUIRED, JUST A PULSE AND A BRAIN STEM, etc. I pointed out to him that no, you don't really get six-figure jobs from newspaper ads advertising the fact they are looking for not just unskilled labor but drat near undead labor but of course hope springs eternal. "Well, I have a meeting tomorrow with the guy, I'm going to go buy a suit." Keep in mind Todd has like $150 to his name at this point, so it's more likely to be a "suit" than, you know, a suit. I try to dissuade him from this, but hope springs eternal. He goes to Wal-mart and buys a (reasonably decent-looking, actually) dress shirt, slacks, sport coat, etc. The next day he gets up, gets dressed, pumped as gently caress about the easy street he's about to be rolling on. I give him an attaboy and start to go to class but on the way out the door he just had to ask: "Hey man... do you think this is going to work out?" Because I genuinely cared about Todd I told the truth. "Nope. There's a zero percent chance this ends up in gainful employment. You're coming home crying tonight." He called me a dick and looked hurt but God drat already, don't ask if you don't wanna know. So I go to class, come home, Todd's still gone. He comes home about 7 PM, TRIUMPHANT! EXULTANT! GLORY TO CAESAR! "Ha ha ha JS, you don't know what the gently caress you are talking about, this is all on the up-and-up, I go in tomorrow to start training, what do you think of that?" This sounds like Internet badassery but I swear it's true. I said, "Yes, I was wrong. I said you're coming home crying tonight. Turns out I was off by a day; you're coming home crying tomorrow night." gently caress yeah, that's some Hollywood badass walk-away-from-the-explosion-putting-on-sunglasses-poo poo right there, friends. The rest of the evening was Todd waxing philosophical about what he was going to spend his newfound, not-yet-in-his-possession and also completely non-existent wealth on. Maybe he'd move out of our run-down trailer into some hot new student apartments. Get a Mercedes, maybe a tattoo, WHATEVS. During this entire time I made helpful comments like, "One in the hand is worth two in the bush," "Don't count your chickens before they hatch," and "Remember all this bravado tomorrow night when all these dreams have turned to ash in your hands." So, can you guess how the story ends? Yes you can. But in case you can't, I'll tell you. I come home the next day and Todd is sitting on the couch in his now-rumpled suit looking like someone just beat the gently caress out of his soul, just beat-down, miserable, sick-looking. "DON'T YOU SAY A loving WORD JS NOT A loving WORD." Because I'm not a sadist I just waited for him to talk, and finally he did. "Don't you want to know what happened?" "I know what happened. You got hosed." "Yeah, but don't you want to know how?" "I know how. Unmercifully and with no lube. But yes. Tell me." So when Todd got to "training" the next day he discovered that well, yes, we can provide you with a $100,000 a year job for answering a newspaper ad. All we'll need is an investment of $10,000 (that's ten thousand dollars for you non-Arabic speakers) to set up the storefront where you're going to do this mystery six-figure work. Why, yes, it is a little strange that we are asking you to pay us for the chance for us to pay you, but under no circumstances is this just a fly-by-night smash-and-grab rip-off scheme because you see I am nicely dressed! Even with visions of automotive tattoos dancing in his head Todd realized that normally, in a job situation, the employer is the one who pays the employee. Admittedly, even if he hadn't seen this, he was a long-rear end way from having 10 Gs to drop on this stupid poo poo. I dunno if it was MLM or just a con or what, but it's been awhile since I told this story so now you read it. Thanks! Oh, and for completeness Todd got a job 2 days later as a vet tech, which was cool because now he had money and could stop eating all my ham slices but uncool because he came home smelling like flea dip and then sat on the couch with his balls hanging out of these holey old sweatpants he had until he moved back home six months later.
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Mar 27, 2015 04:03
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im Todd
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Mar 27, 2015 04:11
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HEY VAPER posted:im Todd I'm glad to see you stopped smoking and started vaping, brother. I also hope your role-playing game idea panned out in the end.
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Mar 27, 2015 04:14
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I know Todd. ^^hi todd^^
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Mar 27, 2015 04:15
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JonathonSpectre posted:I'm glad to see you stopped smoking and started vaping, brother. I also hope your role-playing game idea panned out in the end.  *tips fedora at u* 
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Mar 27, 2015 04:24
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HEY VAPER posted:
Damien loving Walters is the Double-Emerald of the stunt community.
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Mar 27, 2015 04:43
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babypolis posted:people always tell this story but no one ever provides a quote it may be a goon urban legend No, I definitely remember that thread in particular. I think there might have even been a similar thread from someone else.
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Mar 27, 2015 04:48
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JonathonSpectre posted:OK so here's a story about Todd and some kind of ridiculous MLM. This was the gooniest thing I've ever read. Not the actual story, just the way that you write.
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Mar 27, 2015 09:55
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Moridin920 posted:huh I wonder how prevalent MLMs are globally or if it's a uniquely American thing (for now)  This is from a year and a half ago but WELP Of course there are also all the rumblings that Herbalife accounts are just used as money laundering tools by drug cartels.
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Mar 27, 2015 13:25
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Pittsburgh Lambic posted:
that's hilarious, they can't even be bothered to have half of these actually point at the correct countries. unless switzerland is suddenly on the iberian, taiwan is now on the mainland, etc. maybe herbalife knows more about politics than we do.
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Mar 27, 2015 13:44
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Pittsburgh Lambic posted:
why the gently caress does mexico have thirty thousand of those fuckers? thats 3 times as many in the us. maybe we are more gullible and poo poo but ive never seen anyone hawking that poo poo here, althought there is a big rear end herbalife warehouse downtown
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Mar 27, 2015 13:56
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Do you think the single Croatian HerbaLife sales guy and the single Hungarian, sorry, Hungrian sales guy hate each other and are bitter rivals? Edit: Oh, whoops, there's 2 in
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Mar 27, 2015 13:57
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it's not a surprise there's only three australian centers considering you need to fly over to new zealand to visit your australian herbalife representative. and it's nice of them to consider brittany the real uk, celtic pride.
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Mar 27, 2015 14:01
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I have a lovely churn and burn job with Xerox and one of the funnier moments was when they were going over the "triangle of accountability" some sketchy rear end pyramid scheme looking poo poo. So the managers are at the bottom and there the smallest section because there's not that many of them. Below that is the supervisors there a larger portion because there's more of them. The last part is the agents people like you guys! See your the biggest part and have the most power! The accountability goes both ways! While your accountable to your supervisor so to are they accountable to you! (Think upside down triangle) I had to stop myself from laughing during training.
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Mar 27, 2015 14:54
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Has anyone heard of Beachbody, a type of MLM? I have this person that vociferously is defending the Beachbody and MLM model as legit since "All businesses funnel money upward". What is the story with this one?
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Mar 27, 2015 15:18
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Jastiger posted:Has anyone heard of Beachbody, a type of MLM? I have this person that vociferously is defending the Beachbody and MLM model as legit since "All businesses funnel money upward". What is the story with this one? Why dont you join up and tell us?
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Mar 27, 2015 15:40
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why no herbalife in canada, i think they have similar laws to the US about it . do they just call bullshit on the loopholes instead of, you know, making sure that the loopholes are there?
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Mar 27, 2015 15:52
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How do I start a mlm cult and start raking in the money from stupid people?
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Mar 27, 2015 16:37
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Infinite Karma posted:How do I start a mlm cult and start raking in the money from stupid people? http://www.warriorforum.com/
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Mar 27, 2015 17:11
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Is it possible to make money this way? Has anyone actually witnessed it? I'd like to see what a day is like for someone who goes full tilt recruiting every numbskull in town to be their downliners.
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Mar 27, 2015 19:02
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AR EYOU INTERESTED IN A 6 FIGURE RESIDUAL INCOME? JUST CHECK OUT THIS NERIUM CREAM
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Mar 27, 2015 19:06
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Budget Dracula posted:Is it possible to make money this way? Has anyone actually witnessed it? I'd like to see what a day is like for someone who goes full tilt recruiting every numbskull in town to be their downliners. It's possible to make money if you - get in early. if you're already at the bottom of the pyramid you're not making poo poo. - realize what it is and work the con to your advantage. you're not starting your own business or whatever, you're conning people into being under you in a pyramid scheme
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Mar 27, 2015 19:09
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The best pyramid schemes are the ones that don't even bother to have a product. Think about how much more efficient you can con people out of their money if you don't have to print labels for juice and poo poo. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAVy4StwGDY http://www.empowernetwork.com/
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Mar 27, 2015 19:09
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Budget Dracula posted:Is it possible to make money this way? Has anyone actually witnessed it? I'd like to see what a day is like for someone who goes full tilt recruiting every numbskull in town to be their downliners. you dont make money from selling the product, but from recruiting. any intelligent, charismatic sociopath could probably do alright with it.
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Mar 27, 2015 19:12
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