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stringball posted:I was thinking something extremely new-age because you can make seemingly anything into a healing/warding type device. I feel like you don't hit the maximum market only getting new-age types. You could sell some kind of horseshit phone-data-boosting device to just about anybody, and it would be hard for the idiots you're rounding up to see through it. Like how companies sell audio cords for thousands of dollars.
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Mar 30, 2015 09:16
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PostNouveau posted:I feel like you don't hit the maximum market only getting new-age types. You could sell some kind of horseshit phone-data-boosting device to just about anybody, and it would be hard for the idiots you're rounding up to see through it. Like how companies sell audio cords for thousands of dollars. I agree. Getting the kind of people who do yoga and think it's spiritual is the way to go these days. Tons of money and gullible as gently caress.
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Mar 30, 2015 09:27
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My mom just started working for an MLM selling prepper food to Mormons. I think she is actually making a decent amount just selling the food right now, no Facebook posts about it yet at least. She's been super busy sending out orders because the church leadership is all about preparedness right now, more so than usual. I think she has a decent shot at making some money if she gets enough time to start recruiting people but she seems to be doing it just to stay busy at home as my step dad is making enough to support them. Herbalife is huge in the roller derby community because you have a captive audience and a lot of heavy girls who are getting into fitness and health for the first time. Its a plague.
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Mar 30, 2015 09:56
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Soviet posted:if this actually happened and it had absolute power, it would immediately kill a huge portion of the world's population as the first step in impeding (and eventually reversing) environmental degradation So far so good, what are their policies on guns, abortions, and healthcare?
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Mar 30, 2015 10:12
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Shimrra Jamaane posted:Here's my MLM story. reading this post sucked because i realized i was in a cult once i was going to say it also sucks because people i liked are still stuck in it then i remembered they all turned into soulless morons and i could care less if they died
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Mar 30, 2015 10:14
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That Mancave thing was hard to watch on Bullshit because the guy who was hosting made sure everyone had their One (1) [i]free beer![i], then snuck off later to tally his orders while all of his friends/ marks drank the other beers they'd brought and had a good time in his basement while he held back tears in the other room. Great idea to market to guys, though: free beer, free meat!* *You have to supply both
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Mar 30, 2015 10:17
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cool tree bro posted:On a scale of never getting off the couch to being a japanese salaryman, how difficult is starting your own MLM scheme to get rich off the hopes and dreams of others? anyone just trying to start a MLM or pyramid scheme deserves to be run over by a bus
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Mar 30, 2015 11:11
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i'm going to start an mlm selling homeopathic vape juice
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Mar 30, 2015 11:16
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It probably takes a pretty big front-end investment now that I think about it. Not only do you need a product, but you need enough marketing materials to make the company look like a huge concern right out of the gate. You can't just start a mom-and-pop MLM and grow it into something huge. You'd have to find a scumbag venture capitalist to partner with or something.
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Mar 30, 2015 11:20
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Honestly, a big market ripe for mlm would be stoner culture in recently legalized states. You could sell some additive to make joints/bowls better like the "dust of some rare ancient Egyptian strain that pharaohs used" which of course could just be any old innocuous pant matter maybe soaked with whatever flavoring stuff vape juice uses
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Mar 30, 2015 11:39
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And the initial funding for the company can be its own mlm targeting "smart scammers" know it's a pyramid but want to get in at the top. Auction off slots over a month; the more they pay, the larger their share of profit - make them fight each other to put in the most money and of course have nameless fake bidders that keep putting in more money and knocking existing bagholders to lower levels and encourage them to put in more money to get revenge on that fake person and regain their rightful place at the top
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Mar 30, 2015 11:55
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Why do none of these stories involve someone standing up at these things and informing everyone that it's a blatant scam? Like how the gently caress do you keep your mouth shut?
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Mar 30, 2015 12:15
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Why do none of these stories involve someone standing up at these things and informing everyone that it's a blatant scam? Like how the gently caress do you keep your mouth shut? People are dumb and will probably call you a communist or something
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Mar 30, 2015 12:21
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TapTheForwardAssist posted:Can anyone find on YouTube the hilarious MLM commercial where they're meeting with "big investors" at a suburban Denny's, and the investors are totally gobs marked when they see the Bentleys the MLM guys own. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6_AIQd9KnM
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Mar 30, 2015 13:36
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Oh shoot how can I not remember my MLM story. Not as exciting as the others but it was pretty awkward and really taught me something about people. I was working a retail job while attending community college and had been actually given a few legit job offers at the place. But for every legit opportunity there were probably 3 or 4 MLMs offered to me. Now, at the time, I was young and relatively gullible about this stuff, so only looking back to I realize it because of this one particular chance I took. A really cute girl came in and we chatted and got everything figured out for her purchase and then she offered me a chance at a side job. No commitment, just something she, too, did part time when she wasn't working her main job/going to school. Why not set up a time to talk about it? Sure, lets do it! Caribou Coffe, tomorrow 7 PM after work, great. I'm thinking it'll be another part time job thing she wanted me to do some kind of sales and if that didn't work out, hey, she was cute who knows? At the time I was in school so I had some math homework or some such so I was sitting down doing it in the Caribou shop when she comes in and immediately starts commenting on what I was doing. Not like "Hey, ah homeowrk, cool" but "OH MAN!!!11 I am doing this kind of work in MY classes too! I LoooOOoOoove math and could do it all day! SO! Are you ready to talk about this ~Amazing~ opportunity I have?!" She was REALLY loud and way too enthusiastic about some silly math homework I was doing. Was really off putting. So she pulls out some literature and they were of course working with some of the most major companies doing marketing and sales and we needed to get more young people (like me and her of course) to gain visibility and work together for success! At this point my eyes kind of glazed over and I began asking some basic question on like what we'd do, what the product was, etc. I honestly don't remember which MLM she was working for...it was some marketing company where you recruit others to open up virtual store fronts that you pay for, and get people to purchase items through your special store front to get money and recruit others. I wasn't really into that as I was focusing more on school and hopefully a 4 year instead of community college. She really said it was a GREAT way to make money and I could pay for school with all of my earnings and profits! I'm a smart guy! A nice guy! A friendly guy! I said wasn't really interested when, and I am not sure if this was staged or not, there was a guy who was working on his laptop sipping his coffee in one of the seats near by perked up and said "Hey, are you talking about [MLM]?! Hey, you're [Girls name], right? Oh yeah I do that too! Its great!" and she seemed to suddenly recognize him too and they started talking up and down about how great the MLM was and how they were doing this, and that, and the other. They seemed to know each other in some vague way, and I would be 100% convinced that he was planted there to encourage me to sign up but for the fact that she kinda started to ignore me in favor of talking to him about the business they were doing. It got to the point where I just started doing my homework ignoring them and then started to pack up and leave and no one said a thing. I just left while they started talking about how great their business was doing. So....if he was planted there to show how GREAT it was they did a terrible job of actually engaging me in their convo. I just left. I tell you though, I learned a lot that day about what MLMs are and how they operate and I consider it one of the "jading" moments of my life when it comes to interactions. It was so strange to me that they would invite a stranger to a "business" meeting, be overly enthusiastic about mundane things, heap loads of compliments on someone they legit didn't even know anything about, and be completely willing to ignore someone when they don't respond the way you would want them to. Thinking back its like I felt I was in some kind of instructional video on how to NOT be in an MLM since I was treated so badly as a "mark". sweetmercifulcrap posted:I wasn't sure but according to this it costs $40 to sign up as a coach and $15.95 per month after that. Thats interesting, thanks for letting me know. Jamberry works the same way, though I'm not sure I consider them as bad. I mean, you set up a storefront, post poo poo on FB and get the fun nails. Done, right? Recruiting is secondary, you're just a store frong. This looks the same way, though it seems to cost something. I'll have to ask that person if she pays a sub.
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Mar 30, 2015 13:37
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Why do none of these stories involve someone standing up at these things and informing everyone that it's a blatant scam? Like how the gently caress do you keep your mouth shut? No matter how strong and unique you think you are, your brain has had millions of years worth of social rules, cues, and responses hard-wired into it via evolution. Cults take advantage of all that firmware to manipulate people into behaviors beneficial to the cult. It's not coincidence that the word "cult" gets used so often when describing multi-level-marketing schemes. They share a lot of the same techniques, and many of the same goals. They create an environment where anyone who goes against them is seen as foolish, or wrongheaded, or unreasonably hostile. If you speak up, you're the jerk who wants to stop everyone else from succeeding, or you're the poor fool who is too dim or too lazy to take advantage take advantage of this amazing opportunity. The hypothetical whistle-blower knows that the cult will have answers for all of his objections, and plenty of practice using them. Very few people are willing to face that for what amounts to no benefit for themselves. So, the people who aren't taken in keep their mouths shut, and just go home when it's over. Edit: Ahh, ACN. My buddy is a victim of ACN. He was living with me at the time (actually, he's living with me, again). I tried to warn him off, I told him all the reasons it was garbage, and he wouldn't hear it. He lost thousands. Centripetal Horse fucked around with this message at 13:58 on Mar 30, 2015 |
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Mar 30, 2015 13:50
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LordArgh posted:i'm going to start an mlm selling homeopathic vape juice
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Mar 30, 2015 14:20
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Poe's Law strikes again - at the end of the video all I was left with was "Wait... That wasn't a parody?"
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Mar 30, 2015 14:22
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Centripetal Horse posted:No matter how strong and unique you think you are, your brain has had millions of years worth of social rules, cues, and responses hard-wired into it via evolution. Cults take advantage of all that firmware to manipulate people into behaviors beneficial to the cult. It's not coincidence that the word "cult" gets used so often when describing multi-level-marketing schemes. They share a lot of the same techniques, and many of the same goals. They create an environment where anyone who goes against them is seen as foolish, or wrongheaded, or unreasonably hostile. If you speak up, you're the jerk who wants to stop everyone else from succeeding, or you're the poor fool who is too dim or too lazy to take advantage take advantage of this amazing opportunity. The hypothetical whistle-blower knows that the cult will have answers for all of his objections, and plenty of practice using them. Very few people are willing to face that for what amounts to no benefit for themselves. So, the people who aren't taken in keep their mouths shut, and just go home when it's over. I can't disagree with that. Are there no consumer advocacy groups in the US and other countries where these are popular that would do things like find out where they're holding the initiation meetings and camp out the front with flyers?
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Mar 30, 2015 14:40
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Funky See Funky Do posted:I can't disagree with that. Are there no consumer advocacy groups in the US and other countries where these are popular that would do things like find out where they're holding the initiation meetings and camp out the front with flyers?
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Mar 30, 2015 14:42
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I have a distant friend who's knee deep in the Amway adventure. Through him, and under supremely vague pretenses, I was once invited to an Amway induction event at his place. It was hilarious, intellectually insulting and cult-creepy in equal measures. An Amway man came, wearing an ill fitting suit and demonstrating a desperate edge to his voice and manners. He talked for hours about the revolutionary Amway economic paradigm. Promises included; instantaneous return on investment; financial independence within 5 years; possibility of a 200K yearly income (tax free); all achievable in a 5-hour work week. Next to the literal MLM pyramide scheme he was drawing, he also talked a lot about the arts of selling and persuasion. That's the most fascinating part about Amway as far as I've seen; next to the explicit pyramid scheme of selling the product to those below you, there is a more implicit, meta-pyramid. The meta-pyramid is where members buy in on and resell knowledge about sales techniques, motivational speaking, life coaching, financial guru literature, etc. Recently my friend told me, proudly, that he had "invested" in a white board to "help grow his independent business". I suspect he's now the one giving feverish pitches of his own. Since starting last September I don't think he's made a singe dime by the way. Meanwhile, his department is stacked with Amway goods, all purchased at ridiculous markup. Funniest thing is that the guy is basically a greasy pothead nerd with serious personal hygiene issues. Imagine a lumpy guy in a Metallica shirt trying to sell you expensive cosmetics and a business opportunity that will like totally give you radical economic independence from the Man, man.
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Mar 30, 2015 14:49
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Funky See Funky Do posted:I can't disagree with that. Are there no consumer advocacy groups in the US and other countries where these are popular that would do things like find out where they're holding the initiation meetings and camp out the front with flyers?
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Mar 30, 2015 14:52
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Funky See Funky Do posted:I can't disagree with that. Are there no consumer advocacy groups in the US and other countries where these are popular that would do things like find out where they're holding the initiation meetings and camp out the front with flyers? As someone else mentioned, there isn't that much in the way of consumer advocacy. Or, to be fair, there are advocate groups, but there are more shady businesses than there are people with the will and the time to fight them. For the most part, at least here in the USA, we're used to living with these things, and we sort of shrug our shoulders and ignore them, as long as they aren't actually kidnapping our relatives off the streets. Palpatine MD posted:I have a distant friend who's knee deep in the Amway adventure. I have a close friend who took a ride on the Amway train. This is not the same friend who took it up the exit pipe from ACN. This friend somehow got suckered into Amway. I don't remember the details. What I do remember is that this person, who had essentially never been more than a couple of hours from Cleveland in his life, went to two Amway conventions on the west coast within a matter of months. Both of these conventions cost money to attend, and had optional activities that cost even more money to participate in, not to mention travel and accommodation expenses. This particular friend was working a minimum wage job in the photo processing department of a Walgreens. He shelled out literally thousands of dollars to attend these conventions, from which he received absolutely nothing of value. The only thing they did at the first convention was convince him to spend money going to the second convention. He also made a couple of smaller road trips to other Amway events. He hung in there for a long time, bleeding money into Amway's coffers, and never sold a thing except maybe some eye shadow to his mother. He was in so deep, he was buying their crappy products by the ton. He wiped his rear end with Amway toilet paper. He washed his clothes in Amway detergent. He bathed with Amway soap. He removed stains with Amway stain fighter. He balmed his lips with Amway lip balm. If he had been getting laid, I am pretty sure he would have been nutting into Amway rubbers.
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Mar 30, 2015 15:09
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I knew this dude named Allen in college who had a few of us go with him to some super blue green algae meeting. It was a pretty uncomfortable meeting about all the supposed benefits of this poo poo they harvested off the nasty lake nearby, and no one but Allen was convinced. Later Allen disappeared for a week, and when he came back he was all upset about how aliens put algae and shrooms on the planet to help us evolve so that we could communicate with them, and he was the only one of us evolving. I don't really believe the algae contributed much to his mental breakdown, and eventually we had to commit him. Once I had a roommate in college who sold Avon and was a Jehovah's witness, and I found that pretty funny. Her avon boss got mad about our "rude" answering machine message. Now there's this woman on my facebook who posts pretty much hourly about Younique make up. She says it's an easy way to make a little money as a stay at home mom - all you need to do is post on facebook and have make up parties. But then she makes all these other posts about how you can't be successful without a ton of hard work, so I'm confused about how easy it really is. At any rate, it seems like she has a lot of friends who all buy each other's crap so I guess it works in that she has something to do besides sign her kids up for baby model contests all day. opie fucked around with this message at 16:03 on Mar 30, 2015 |
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Mar 30, 2015 15:43
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Damnit who has the mancave beer meat dude party thing
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Mar 30, 2015 16:50
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chaosbreather posted:the funny thing is ponzi schemes, mlms for bankers, always work out because the government always bails them out. there hasn't been a ponzi scheme yet which has lost their investors money. because of this they don't even count as scams. some investment firms - quietly - seek them out because if you get in early you can actually make serious bank.
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Mar 30, 2015 16:57
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Yawgmoth posted:Please do this but also make it incredibly carcinogenic, vapers are the most insufferable retards I'm just a normal balding software guy who switched from cigs to something a lot healthier and it kicked me off the habit, I don't wake up needing a cig anymore, my bloodwork is way better, I can smell things again, etc. But I know what you mean it's impossible to go to a vape shop for more than just get in buy something get out, cause everyone in the store is a loving idiot and the reason this way better alternative is gonna get banned. I was at a restaurant the other day enjoying a meal and some douche decided to blow a massive loving cloud right in the middle of the place and get the vapor all over everyone's food. gently caress
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Mar 30, 2015 17:28
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Why do none of these stories involve someone standing up at these things and informing everyone that it's a blatant scam? Like how the gently caress do you keep your mouth shut? People do this and then are escorted from the premises and threatened with legal action for doing so. The moment you try and expose their scheme, for what it is, you are labeled, by the people perpetrating the scheme, as a (insert some form of non-believer here) hell bent on keeping people from reaching (some form of freedom/enlightenment here)
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Mar 30, 2015 18:20
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The one I know was run by a 300 pound 6'7" failed college football guy who had a team of goons as bouncers
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Mar 30, 2015 18:34
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Sentient Data posted:Honestly, a big market ripe for mlm would be stoner culture in recently legalized states. You could sell some additive to make joints/bowls better like the "dust of some rare ancient Egyptian strain that pharaohs used" which of course could just be any old innocuous pant matter maybe soaked with whatever flavoring stuff vape juice uses Not sure about the other states, but Colorado is not where you want to try this. Every plant is tracked from seed to store via RFID, there are fingerprint-swipe milligram scales to check yield at every processing stage, and we just restructured our edible sales because they claimed that the packaging was 'confusing'. I don't believe they'll put up with much weed ponzi bullshit at all here. That being said there's no law against convincing people that $5/bottle alkaline water is better for your bong
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Mar 30, 2015 18:46
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http://www.somethingawful.com/flash-tub/space-chip-commercial/ I always think of Space Chip when MLMs come up and any intelligible discourse I could have had gives way to laughing.
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Mar 30, 2015 19:38
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Why do none of these stories involve someone standing up at these things and informing everyone that it's a blatant scam? Like how the gently caress do you keep your mouth shut? a couple of us have posted exactly that. when i called the lead guy out he freely admitted it was a pyramid scheme and had no problem with that, then he hustled me out the room.
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Mar 30, 2015 21:21
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Nostalgia4Dicks posted:Damnit who has the mancave beer meat dude party thing It's the penn & teller thing. Worth the watch imo
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Mar 30, 2015 21:47
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Professor Shark posted:That Mancave thing was hard to watch on Bullshit because the guy who was hosting made sure everyone had their One (1) [i]free beer![i], then snuck off later to tally his orders while all of his friends/ marks drank the other beers they'd brought and had a good time in his basement while he held back tears in the other room. This must've been a later season one because I don't remember this episode, which one is it?
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Mar 30, 2015 22:10
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raditts posted:This must've been a later season one because I don't remember this episode, which one is it? http://bit.ly/1HfYMoj First three results, and then some.
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Mar 30, 2015 22:34
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^^^ gently caress yourself Sentient Data posted:Poe's Law strikes again - at the end of the video all I was left with was "Wait... That wasn't a parody?" I love how these two business suit guys aren't wowed by these mumbling, bumbling idiots until they go outside and see  SHINY (leased) CAR That seems to be a recurring thing in MLMs, and was also used as a way of impressing potential suckers at the Cutco thing I went to in college, they always brag about their fancy car. edit: AHAHAHA and then he tells the guy he's trying to sell to with this magazine, to go in his car and check in the glovebox? Is this poo poo for real? "Hey bitch, go in my car and see if you can find a spare copy of my promo materials  "
raditts fucked around with this message at 22:56 on Mar 30, 2015 |
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Mar 30, 2015 22:49
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Still can't find that mancave dude party website. I don't think it was mancave their website doesn't look familiar -edit I guess it is and they completely redid their website and the terrible promo videos are gone. All about hosting MEATings. They really did change and strip everything the only video I can find online is this. Where's the giant spatulas and shot boards? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhwKMSeE9Jw Need archives but here's the link to the most popular MLM thread ever on SA that people have referenced here many times http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2503040&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1 Some British dudes gf flies to US for summer job to go door to door selling books. Part of the training is finding your own place to stay in the beginning from people you sold or are trying to sell books to. She sends some very eerie emails that shows just how brainwashed she becomes. She's extremely malnourished and misses her period. At some point some guy does indeed come and talk about how he worked at that company and while being a slave sucked it taught him all these life lessons. Of course people tackle him and this goes on for a while. Finally the girlfriend finds out about the thread, or that he's sharing the emails, or something, and he closes the thread. They also ended up breaking up for unrelated reasons I think "Hi! How're you? Can't talk long because I'm on someone else's phone." "Oh, I'm okay! How're you doing?" "I'm great, we're great, I've arrived safely in LA and now we're going to knock on doors to find a place to live." [Stunned pause] "...what?" "We're going to knock on doors and find a place to live. Apparently it is "good practice" for when we're selling." [Stunned pause] "But... didn't your manager say he had a place for you to stay?" "Well, he helps!" [Stunned pause] "Darling? Are you alright?" "I... I'm fine, I just... Do you think that's normal?" "Oh it's fine don't be so silly. Love you, Got to go!" "Uh, um, bye?" Nostalgia4Dogges fucked around with this message at 00:59 on Mar 31, 2015 |
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Mar 31, 2015 00:51
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My in-thread MLM story is that after clicking the link to the "Empower Network" site and laughing at their posted income stats (less than 4% of "affiliates" break even after the costs of signing up) , clicking on the classic ACN Bently youtube video got me a targeted ad for an Empower Network event, which referenced that they knew I'd heard about them recently. Creepy! My real life MLM story is when I was a freshman in college, studying in the student union building, a student came up to me and asked if I wanted to maybe learn about possible internships for the summer. I said yes, she handed me a card to fill out with my contact info. I forgot all about it. Months later, I get woken up by a call at 9am on a Saturday. I groggily agree to attend a meeting about internship opportunities. It's a guy in a cheap suit and five other confused looking students. We sit at a public table in the student union building while he badgers us for about an hour and a half about how great an opportunity it is to sell educational books to people door to door in the Midwest. He talked about what sort of posture you should use when knocking on a stranger's door (stand sideways, to be less intimidating). They were called the Southwest Group or something, they got one mention earlier in the thread. This was in 2008. He asked who was ready to hear more and come to another meeting the next day. We all walked away, exhausted just from listening. Years later, as a junior or senior, I was reading in a quiet part of that same student union building, and heard a familiar voice giving a familiar spiel. It was the same dude, same suit, badgering some poor chubby girl one-on-one. They were sitting a few yards behind me. I sat and listened. He kept asking her if she thought it'd be cool to take vacations to Vegas, LA, NYC, all on a whim? And not have to worry about the cost? And treat her friends too? Don't you want to be successful and happy? And wouldn't you be willing to work pretty hard to make that happen? The conversation went on like that, with slight variations, for about half an hour. Eventually she told him she needed to talk to her dad about it and got away. I think the dude had another meeting lined up, but I left before the new mark got there.
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Mar 31, 2015 01:05
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I came across some letters that the FDA sent to doTerra and Young Living, two health-style MLMs. Apparently they claimed their cinnamon bark oils and whatever could cure ebola, autism, cancer, multiple sclerosis, and similar diseases. The FDA was not happy.
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Mar 31, 2015 01:50
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Soviet posted:if this actually happened and it had absolute power, it would immediately kill a huge portion of the world's population as the first step in impeding (and eventually reversing) environmental degradation do you have any regret for your avatar nowadays?
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Mar 31, 2015 04:27
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