There's no "conservative"

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > There's no "conservative"

Hydrocodone: Sep 26, 2007

It's not a thing. Liberalism is largely empathy, which is learned, and conservatism is just selfishness, which is natural. (So babies are all conservative, coincidentally.)

Liberal may as well be called political and conservative just not. Normal. Just not political.

No judgment on liberals or conservatives, by the way. But if you are conservative, go gently caress yourself.

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:03

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# ? May 7, 2024 12:45

Enfield: May 30, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

wow thats really loving thought provoking bideogame man

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:05

MeLKoR: Dec 23, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

if_theres_no_conservative_how_can_i_a_canned_herring_remain_edible_for_so_long.jpg

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:06

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

wow never really thought about it like that before

gonna give this some serious thought tonight

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:06

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

when im playing Victoria II the conservative rebels are always the biggest douchelords

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:08

Hobohemian: Sep 30, 2005; by XyloJW

Most conservatives never develop post conventional morality.

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:09

Kleen_TheRacistDog: Feb 17, 2014; Can't bust the Krust fuckman
www.skullmund.com

the more i overcome my own difficulties, the more conservative i become. my reasoning is that if I - goon beta - can do it, then other people have no excuse.

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:11

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

conservatives just care about themselves their family and their immediate poo poo which is a fairly selfish attitude of course but they'll argue that it's just because that's how the world works.

ultimately they are retarded though because for the most part cooperation - especially on a large scale - is often the superior and more efficient way of doing things. they fail to see the long term and latent benefits of things like eliminating poverty and so on. They just think 'gently caress those people, they can help themselves!' not realizing that if that segment of the population was able to contribute to consumer spending in a meaningful way, then the economy would improve overall for everyone. This is just one example of many. Nationalized healthcare is another example of their mentality of only caring about their particular family unit and failing to recognize the benefits that they would get under a one payer system.

So yeah they're short sighted idiot babies for the most part.

Kleen_TheRowdyDog posted:

the more i overcome my own difficulties, the more conservative i become. my reasoning is that if I - goon beta - can do it, then other people have no excuse.

your reasoning is flawed because we live in a society structured like a pyramid. There's the people at the top; the rich, the leaders, etc. There's the people at the bottom; the minimum wage workers, kitchen people, etc. You can have the pyramid be super high and unfair, you can flatten it out a bit so it's a decent life where ever you end up, but you'll always have people at the bottom.

Not everyone can climb up in society because there aren't enough jobs/slots/positions for them to fill at those higher rungs of the pyramid. Not everyone can be a doctor/lawyer/astronaut. We need garbage men to make society function, too. So why make their lives miserable when they don't have to be?

Moridin920 fucked around with this message at 21:15 on Sep 26, 2015

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:13

Yaldabaoth: Oct 9, 2012; by Azathoth

Hydrocodone posted:

It's not a thing. Liberalism is largely empathy, which is learned, and conservatism is just selfishness, which is natural. (So babies are all conservative, coincidentally.)

Liberal may as well be called political and conservative just not. Normal. Just not political.

No judgment on liberals or conservatives, by the way. But if you are conservative, go gently caress yourself.

If selfishness is natural then maybe this world is actually an upper layer of Hell.

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:13

BeefThief: Aug 8, 2007

Kleen_TheRowdyDog posted:

the more i overcome my own difficulties, the more conservative i become. my reasoning is that if I - goon beta - can do it, then other people have no excuse.

what about people who can't read, or blind people, or crazy people? Being a goon is pretty low on the 'cant get my poo poo together' scale, at least some of the time

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:14

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Yaldabaoth posted:

If selfishness is natural then maybe this world is actually an upper layer of Hell.

Selfishness is natural but conservatives fail to grasp the benefits of a harmonious society.

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:16

Kleen_TheRacistDog: Feb 17, 2014; Can't bust the Krust fuckman
www.skullmund.com

BeefThief posted:

what about people who can't read, or blind people, or crazy people? Being a goon is pretty low on the 'cant get my poo poo together' scale, at least some of the time

those people get a pass. but the main problem with the liberal view of public service is that they often conflate "helping" with "enabling."

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:17

Hell Yeah: Dec 25, 2012

your mom is very "liberal" with the blowjobs, op

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:18

ghlbtsk: Apr 19, 2005; these bath mats
are
GORGEOUS

I was going to turn off the lights to save energy, but soon realized there was no way to reach the light switch since I don't exist.

KONUNDRUM KREW

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:18

Enfield: May 30, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

Kleen_TheRowdyDog posted:

those people get a pass. but the main problem with the liberal view of public service is that they often conflate "helping" with "enabling."

your undeserved sense of accomplishment is loving nauseating

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:18

Hobohemian: Sep 30, 2005; by XyloJW

Kleen_TheRowdyDog posted:

the more i overcome my own difficulties, the more conservative i become. my reasoning is that if I - goon beta - can do it, then other people have no excuse.

You haven't overcome poo poo you self mandated sobriety loser. You just practice avoidance because you lack the faculties to handle yourself responsibly.

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:20

GORDON: Jan 1, 2006; by Fluffdaddy

If liberals really believed that all people should.contribute to the common good then they'd be a lot more interested in getting people off welfare and actually contributing to the common good instead of living off of it.

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:22

fuck the ROW: Aug 29, 2008; by zen death robot

im a young (34) fresh liberal and sure i spend most of my time complaining about republikkkan$ but thats actually pretty healthy *relentlessly watches another 4 hours of john beohner crying* this is good to me

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:23

Hydrocodone: Sep 26, 2007

gently caress the ROW posted:

*relentlessly watches another 4 hours of john beohner crying*

I am relentless but I don't JUST watch.....................................

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:25

Pulp Can Move: Oct 4, 2012

If I, a straight white male, can overcome the disadvantage of posting on a dying message board, what's stopping those nigs, disabled people, and other welfare leeches?

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:30

tetsuo: May 12, 2001; I am a shaman, magician

there is only zuul >:D

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:32

Leonard Ghostal: Apr 26, 2006

Moridin920 posted:

There's the people at the top; the rich, the leaders, etc. There's the people at the bottom; the minimum wage workers, kitchen people, etc.

lol, just lol, if you think american minimum wage earners are the bottom of the pyramid

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:33

Hydrocodone: Sep 26, 2007

I do keep coming back to the empathy being learned thing, though. Is it entirely learned or at least largely learned? Or is there enough natural empathy in some people to be born liberal? Who was the first liberal?

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:38

Heath: Apr 30, 2008; 🍂🎃🏞️💦

Actually op very small children will spontaneously share toys and affection with each other as part of the bonding process that makes each of us a human being

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:52

CaptainSarcastic: Jul 6, 2013

A modern "conservative" is usually socially repressed and economically neoliberal, so the word really has devolved into an almost meaningless portmanteau.

# ? Sep 26, 2015 21:57

Flavahbeast: Jul 21, 2001

Hydrocodone posted:

I do keep coming back to the empathy being learned thing, though. Is it entirely learned or at least largely learned? Or is there enough natural empathy in some people to be born liberal? Who was the first liberal?

jesus christ

# ? Sep 26, 2015 22:35

Flavahbeast: Jul 21, 2001

was the first liberal, is what I mean

# ? Sep 26, 2015 22:35

Testikles: Feb 22, 2009

Moridin920 posted:

conservatives just care about themselves their family and their immediate poo poo which is a fairly selfish attitude of course but they'll argue that it's just because that's how the world works.

ultimately they are retarded though because for the most part cooperation - especially on a large scale - is often the superior and more efficient way of doing things. they fail to see the long term and latent benefits of things like eliminating poverty and so on. They just think 'gently caress those people, they can help themselves!' not realizing that if that segment of the population was able to contribute to consumer spending in a meaningful way, then the economy would improve overall for everyone. This is just one example of many. Nationalized healthcare is another example of their mentality of only caring about their particular family unit and failing to recognize the benefits that they would get under a one payer system.

So yeah they're short sighted idiot babies for the most part.

The classical answer is always some non-falsifiable horseshit where if you nationalize healthcare you are simply preventing the most efficient healthcare providers from ever existing.

# ? Sep 26, 2015 22:38

Ekster: Jul 18, 2013

If being liberal is superior then explain Hollywood celebrities.

# ? Sep 26, 2015 22:39

Tighclops: Jan 23, 2008; Unable to deal with it; Grimey Drawer

Moridin920 posted:

conservatives just care about themselves their family and their immediate poo poo which is a fairly selfish attitude of course but they'll argue that it's just because that's how the world works.

ultimately they are retarded though because for the most part cooperation - especially on a large scale - is often the superior and more efficient way of doing things. they fail to see the long term and latent benefits of things like eliminating poverty and so on. They just think 'gently caress those people, they can help themselves!' not realizing that if that segment of the population was able to contribute to consumer spending in a meaningful way, then the economy would improve overall for everyone. This is just one example of many. Nationalized healthcare is another example of their mentality of only caring about their particular family unit and failing to recognize the benefits that they would get under a one payer system.

So yeah they're short sighted idiot babies for the most part.

your reasoning is flawed because we live in a society structured like a pyramid. There's the people at the top; the rich, the leaders, etc. There's the people at the bottom; the minimum wage workers, kitchen people, etc. You can have the pyramid be super high and unfair, you can flatten it out a bit so it's a decent life where ever you end up, but you'll always have people at the bottom.

Not everyone can climb up in society because there aren't enough jobs/slots/positions for them to fill at those higher rungs of the pyramid. Not everyone can be a doctor/lawyer/astronaut. We need garbage men to make society function, too. So why make their lives miserable when they don't have to be?

This is a good post, thanks. I've never met a right leaning person that wasn't some measure of blindly self interested rear end in a top hat, they only differ in matters of degree

# ? Sep 26, 2015 22:48

TEAH SYAG: Oct 2, 2009; by Lowtax

Curious, I always associated liberalism with a sheepish like mental state caused by some form of retardation. Eh. They still bleed well. BAAAAAAHHHHHH! *salutes at a Ronald Reagan picture*

# ? Sep 26, 2015 22:51

Hobohemian: Sep 30, 2005; by XyloJW

Ekster posted:

If being liberal is superior then explain Hollywood celebrities.

As far as rich people go they definitely have the least blood on their hands.

# ? Sep 26, 2015 22:51

Hydrocodone: Sep 26, 2007

Ekster posted:

If being liberal is superior then explain Hollywood celebrities.

I assume you mean that some of them seem insufferable?

Because superior doesn't necessarily mean likable. Responsibility's important but no fun.

# ? Sep 26, 2015 22:53

Manifest Despair: Aug 20, 2008

Well, we have to end police brutality for one. And slow down the effects of climate change, stop terrorism and nationalize healthcare. We have to provide food and shelter for the homeless, and oppose racial discrimination and promote civil rights, while also promoting equal rights for women. We have to encourage a return to sanity. Most importantly, we have to promote general social concern and less materialism in young people.

# ? Sep 26, 2015 22:54