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Puppy Galaxy posted:i sharted on january 2nd, 2014. i remember the date because my first thought was that i barely made it 2 days into the new year without making GBS threads my pants.  i can't compete with this.
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Nov 11, 2015 00:04
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 00:21 |
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Many, many times I've checked myself after a particularly wet fart but I've never actually done it. The dream lives on though, in my heart and in my soul.
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Nov 11, 2015 00:16
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making GBS threads yourself makes you a new kind of special.
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Nov 11, 2015 00:16
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RIP Erethizon_dorsatum
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Nov 11, 2015 00:17
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AKA Pseudonym posted:Many, many times I've checked myself after a particularly wet fart but I've never actually done it. I recommend eating nothing for a day and then smoking a cigarette and drinking coffee the next morning.
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Nov 11, 2015 00:27
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Erethizon_dorsatum posted:Thanks Sorry, I know this is from page 1, but loving laffo. I have still never shat my pants so I can halfway relate. I STILL feel smug as hell about having bowel control and constantly wonder what is wrong with you people.
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Nov 11, 2015 00:30
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I poo poo my pants 3 times between the ages of 18 and 30, and only one of those times was when I was piss drunk. Hope that makes you feel better, you filthy poo poo stained dirtball.
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Nov 11, 2015 00:45
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Rape Stink
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Nov 11, 2015 01:03
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Nathilus posted:Sorry, I know this is from page 1, but loving laffo. I have still never shat my pants so I can halfway relate. I STILL feel smug as hell about having bowel control and constantly wonder what is wrong with you people. One day it will happen. I pray for your sake it isn't on an important day or a busy day when you cannot escape and deal with it.
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Nov 11, 2015 01:19
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OP buy Pepto Bismol from the first gas station you see and chug that poo poo It works really fast
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Nov 11, 2015 01:27
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Op eat an entire bag of sugar free gummy bears like LA Beast did
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Nov 11, 2015 01:34
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Here's a song about making GBS threads oneself! Hope this helps. I hear the drums echoing tonight But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation She's coming in, 12:30 flight The moonlit stalls reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation I stopped an old man along the way Hoping to find some old forgotten words or ancient remedies He turned to me as if to say, "Hurry boy, it's waiting there for you" It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do I bless the rains down in Africa Gonna take some time to do the things we never had The wild dogs cry out in the night As they grow restless, longing for some solitary company I know that I must do what's right As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti I seek to cure what's deep inside, frightened of this thing that I've become It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do I bless the rains down in Africa Gonna take some time to do the things we never had Hurry boy, she's waiting there for you It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do I bless the rains down in Africa I bless the rains down in Africa (I bless the rain) I bless the rains down in Africa (I bless the rain) I bless the rains down in Africa I bless the rains down in Africa (Ah, gonna take the time) Gonna take some time to do the things we never had Lawrence Gilchrist fucked around with this message at 01:53 on Nov 11, 2015 |
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Nov 11, 2015 01:50
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hey op, i just had a dream where i went over to PHIZ and asked them what their forum was about. i think god is telling me something
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Nov 11, 2015 01:53
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I am continually amused that my brother has Crohn's and has never poo poo his pants, but it seems like 2 out of every 3 goons have done so.
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Nov 11, 2015 02:45
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Nathilus posted:Sorry, I know this is from page 1, but loving laffo. I have still never shat my pants so I can halfway relate. I STILL feel smug as hell about having bowel control and constantly wonder what is wrong with you people. enjoy it while you can, you sweet, naive fool
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Nov 11, 2015 02:57
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i finally finished with work and I'm in my hotel room now. i have access to a private toilet mere feet away at any moment. is this what heaven feels like?
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Nov 11, 2015 02:59
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Wear the poopy underweat on your head as a warning to others
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Nov 11, 2015 03:08
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Fishy Joe posted:shart through the drawers, i made stain, you give farts, a bad name
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Nov 11, 2015 03:30
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Weener Beater posted:This was me on the drive back from Cabo San Lucas to San Francisco after eating a bad chicken sandwich. 8 hours of hell. I still owe my best friend for driving the whole way back. Back in college I was on an 8 hour road trip with my roommate. We stopped at a truck stop where he picked up what looked like a can of chewing tobacco but was actually just beef jerky in a quirky container. He at a few bites and we continued for about an hour when he started doubling over groaning in pain. He quickly pulled over to the side, threw open the door and basically fell out of the truck, trailed by a jet of projectile vomit. I wasn't sure what to do, so I just sat there asking him if he was ok while he was spraying puke everywhere and dry heaving so hard we later learned he cracked a rib. Some time into this, I became aware of a second terrible smell that accompanied the already pervasive scent of vomit. Apparently his dry heaves were powerful enough to force his bowels into movement as well, and I could clearly hear the muffled bursts diarrhea rapidly overflowing his underwear and soaking his jeans from the inside out. When he regained enough composure to stand again, he lay in the bed of the truck for the rest of the trip while I took over driving. I half expected him to find him dead at the end of the trip, but we got home and he stumbled to the bathroom to continue wretching and puking up bile in some rather disturbing tones for the rest of the night. The next morning, I found him passed out in the bathtub, where he was forced to kneel, spraying unpredictably from either end. One of the cats had dragged a sock over his face.
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Nov 11, 2015 04:27
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kinda sounds like he should have gone to the ER, jesus christ
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Nov 11, 2015 05:17
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Sounds like classic food poisoning except that it happened so fast. But yeah people often get a tummyache and then cry food poisoning and its like, naw dog. You know when you have food poisoning because you'll be soldered to the toilet by poo poo and puke for days of hellish misery.
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Nov 11, 2015 05:28
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Just when I thought I had gotten everything I had wanted for my birthday, this thread pops up. Thanks OP, for having a loose sphincter and also for not having the presence of mind to go and get a new pair of underwear out of your luggage or whatever.
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Nov 11, 2015 05:57
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The Bible posted:One of the cats had dragged a sock over his face. Was that a tempt to comfort him? Lol Erethizon_dorsatum posted:kinda sounds like he should have gone to the ER, jesus christ One hell of a stomach flu. Can we get an artistic rendering of his friend pooping and puking in the tub as a cat brings him a sock? Microwaves Mom fucked around with this message at 13:39 on Nov 11, 2015 |
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Nov 11, 2015 13:33
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Microwaves Mom posted:Was that a tempt to comfort him? Lol She drags tissues or cloth over anything she doesn't like the smell of. She most often did it immediately after the other cat took a rancid poo poo and no one was home to clean it. She would use socks for that too if they were available.
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Nov 11, 2015 13:40
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The Bible posted:She drags tissues or cloth over anything she doesn't like the smell of. She most often did it immediately after the other cat took a rancid poo poo and no one was home to clean it. lol I think shes going to need more than a sock for him. That's adorable.
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Nov 11, 2015 13:41
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As a note, I did suggest the ER, but we are American and he was uninsured, and didn't want to ruin himself financially quite so early. To this day he won't so much as touch dried meat.
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Nov 11, 2015 13:52
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The Bible posted:As a note, I did suggest the ER, but we are American and he was uninsured, and didn't want to ruin himself financially quite so early. Understandable. Poor guy.
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Nov 11, 2015 15:11
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Well the crisis seems to have passed. I want to thank you all for coming with me on this incredible journey
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Nov 11, 2015 16:29
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Erethizon_dorsatum posted:Well the crisis seems to have passed. *trail of poop abruptly ends*
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Nov 11, 2015 18:47
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I need more closure. Please share what you have learnt from this experience in order to complete the narrative arc that we have all become so invested in.
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Nov 11, 2015 18:55
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I like to drink a gallon of coffee and slide around the kitchen floor sharting. I look like a slug.
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Nov 11, 2015 19:31
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Moon Atari posted:I need more closure. Please share what you have learnt from this experience in order to complete the narrative arc that we have all become so invested in. I guess I've learned you can go from being a toddler through your 28th birthday shart free, but no one, NO ONE is truly safe. Also make sure to pay attention to the weight of your farts before letting it rip. And also, always carry extra underwear. I'm done here in Oklahoma and I'm about to begin my 4 hour drive back home. Hopefully this new knowledge will have me arriving with clean underwear.
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Nov 11, 2015 20:23
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Erethizon_dorsatum posted:Currently huddled in a bathroom stall in Greensburg Kansas. Had to throw away my underwear but it did NOT get on my pants. Poor sphincter control. Do you even clench bro?
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Nov 11, 2015 20:26
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mazzi Chart Czar posted:Poor sphincter control. I clamp down like a bear trap but it somehow wasn't enough this time
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Nov 11, 2015 20:29
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mazzi Chart Czar posted:Poor sphincter control. No, see, the thing about a shart is that you think it's just going to be a fart and let 'er rip.
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Nov 11, 2015 20:29
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No biggie, OP. Just play it cool and go commando. Stay away from the hot co-worker though; you can't hide that boner
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Nov 11, 2015 20:31
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Mock me if you must, but BEWARE! For I was once like you.
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Nov 11, 2015 20:32
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When in doubt, just fart inverted, in a headstand or candlestick. The gas will escape against gravity, the solids will not.
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Nov 11, 2015 20:47
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Just want to interject here and say gently caress you Franco (aka Spanish Manlove) for reporting this thread and for most of the other reports you make you were a poo poo mod and are an even more poo poo reporter
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Nov 12, 2015 07:18
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 00:21 |
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you hav eto be more careful about your farts dude you can't just go ripping them anymore you gotta crakc them open real slow, make sure they're safe once you can feel you're not gonna hsit yourself, then let er rip!!
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Nov 12, 2015 07:19
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