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MikeCrotch
Nov 5, 2011

I AM UNJUSTIFIABLY PROUD OF MY SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE RECIPE

YES, IT IS AN INCREDIBLY SIMPLE DISH

NO, IT IS NOT NORMAL TO USE A PEPPERAMI INSTEAD OF MINCED MEAT

YES, THERE IS TOO MUCH SALT IN MY RECIPE

NO, I WON'T STOP SHARING IT

more like BOLLOCKnese
Calvin Johnson Considering Retiring

We did it guys

We broke his spirit just like we did Barry's

Another generational talent down the toilet of life :v:

...

:smith:

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JIZZ DENOUEMENT
Oct 3, 2012

STRIKE!
drat you. The thread title made me think he confirmed his retirement.

Don't play with my heart strings!!

Samadhi
May 13, 2001

Come to the Packers Calvin

It is your only hope

Paint Crop Pro
Mar 22, 2007

Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.



I thought he announced his retirement.

There is hope for another year.

Trade him Detriot, trade him to Carolina :smith:

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

if every single one of you doesn't admit that calvin is only considering retirement because having a long nfl career is a death sentence then i'll give you a spicy brain trauma of your own

Wiccan Wasteland
Oct 15, 2012

MikeCrotch posted:

Calvin Johnson Considering Retiring

We did it guys

We broke his spirit just like we did Barry's

Another generational talent down the toilet of life :v:

...

:smith:



This had to have been the moment when he started contemplating retirement.

SunshineDanceParty
Feb 7, 2006

One Road. Two Friends. One Ass.
Hey Calvin, I know a guy with the biggest smile and he's the Kid's Champion. Talk to him before retirement. For the kids Calvin. For the kids.

Parmesan Basil
Nov 12, 2008

TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK
We need to start viewing a career as long as his as long and varied and let dudes retire before they hit thirty so they're not dead by the time they're forty.

R.D. Mangles
Jan 10, 2004


Petite Dinklage posted:

Come to the Packers Calvin

It is your only hope

Samadhi
May 13, 2001


Aaron Needs Weapons

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

I got a taste for blown saves
Being from Georgia, he should go to the Falcons where he and Julio can be the scariest WR duo since Moss/Carter

Beautiful Ninja
Mar 26, 2009

Five time FCW Champion...of my heart.
I'm just saying the Jets did a pretty good job invigorating Marshall who was in a similar boat as Megatron is now.

Not that the Jets can afford him, but the idea of a Megatron/Marshall/Decker WR corps intrigues me.

JIZZ DENOUEMENT
Oct 3, 2012

STRIKE!

Intruder posted:

Being from Georgia, he should go to the Falcons where he and Julio can be the scariest WR duo since Moss/Carter

that would be so loving filthy


Megatron + Kelvin Benj would be neat too

Cool NIN Shirt
Nov 26, 2007

by vyelkin

Beautiful Ninja posted:

I'm just saying the Jets did a pretty good job invigorating Marshall who was in a similar boat as Megatron is now.

Not that the Jets can afford him, but the idea of a Megatron/Marshall/Decker WR corps intrigues me.

How was Brandon Marshall in a "similar boat" to Calvin Johnson?

Calvin Johnson Jr.
Dec 8, 2009
This city will not break me.

Ghost of Reagan Past
Oct 7, 2003

rock and roll fun
Calvin actually wants to play next to Larry and Malcolm and John.

MikeCrotch
Nov 5, 2011

I AM UNJUSTIFIABLY PROUD OF MY SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE RECIPE

YES, IT IS AN INCREDIBLY SIMPLE DISH

NO, IT IS NOT NORMAL TO USE A PEPPERAMI INSTEAD OF MINCED MEAT

YES, THERE IS TOO MUCH SALT IN MY RECIPE

NO, I WON'T STOP SHARING IT

more like BOLLOCKnese
Guys, would an abrupt Calvin Johnson retirement be the only thing that can make Jim Caldwell show emotion?

lol of course not

Hot Diggity!
Apr 3, 2010

SKELITON_BRINGING_U_ON.GIF

Petite Dinklage posted:

Come to the Packers Calvin

It is your only hope

mbison_yes.gif

Trast
Oct 20, 2010

Three games, thousands of playthroughs. 90% of the players don't know I exist. Still a redhead saving the galaxy with a [Right Hook].

:edi:
Come to Miami so Tannebaum can ask questions about your mother and then mandate you are lined up in the slot to the coaches.

Parmesan Basil
Nov 12, 2008

TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

Ghost of Reagan Past posted:

Calvin actually wants to play next to Larry and Malcolm and John.

Anybody here/seen my old friend Calvin/can you tell me where he's gone/he caught a lot of touchdowns/but it seems the good they die young

John Brown
Jul 10, 2009

If he were to leave Detroit his preferences should be New England, Carolina, Atlanta, and New Orleans, in that order. He'd put up monster numbers in NO but that defense needs some serious help before they can be a contender again.

Detroit_Dogg
Feb 2, 2008
Aaron Rodgers is gay and lame and oh please cum in me Aaron PLEASE I NEED IT OH STAFFORD YOUR COCK IS NOT WORTHY ONLY THE GAYEST RODGERS PRICK CAN SATISFY MY DESPERATE THROAT
Why would Calvin want to leave Detroit for any of these other teams with worse quarterbacks than he currently has?

John Brown
Jul 10, 2009

Detroit_Dogg posted:

Why would Calvin want to leave Detroit for any of these other teams with worse quarterbacks than he currently has?

I know you're being sarcastic but Stafford is above average at best, and is a bit of a disappointment as I had very high hopes from him with being from Dallas and all.

Knyteguy
Jul 6, 2005

YES to love
NO to shirts


Toilet Rascal

Detroit_Dogg posted:

Why would Calvin want to leave Detroit for any of these other teams with worse quarterbacks than he currently has?



Checks out

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World
Vote Gronk-Megatron 2016: Because Size Matters

The 7th Guest
Dec 17, 2003

Detroit_Dogg posted:

Why would Calvin want to leave Detroit for any of these other teams with worse quarterbacks than he currently has?
Tom Brady, Cam Newton and Drew Brees are worse than Stafford??

Detroit_Dogg
Feb 2, 2008
Aaron Rodgers is gay and lame and oh please cum in me Aaron PLEASE I NEED IT OH STAFFORD YOUR COCK IS NOT WORTHY ONLY THE GAYEST RODGERS PRICK CAN SATISFY MY DESPERATE THROAT
Matthew Stafford had comparable seasons to these other guys despite having the first half of his season wasted on an offensive coordinator who thought the best thing to do with Calvin Johnson was to use him as a decoy.

The 7th Guest
Dec 17, 2003

Well comparable is not the same as better now is it!!!!

Detroit_Dogg
Feb 2, 2008
Aaron Rodgers is gay and lame and oh please cum in me Aaron PLEASE I NEED IT OH STAFFORD YOUR COCK IS NOT WORTHY ONLY THE GAYEST RODGERS PRICK CAN SATISFY MY DESPERATE THROAT
Thats a real thing by the way, Joe Lombardi was like "hmmm calvin johnson? Yes, well you see the opposing defenses will key in on him opening up the offense to get the ball to Ameer Abdullah and uh...Eric Ebron"

Scipiotik
Mar 2, 2004

"I would have won the race but for that."
I thought there was a real chance Stafford would get shown the door after his craptastic first 8 games. But in the second 8 he put up 19 TDs, 2 Ints, and was right around 70% completion. Basically he went from worst season ever, to best season ever.

Oil!
Nov 5, 2008

Der's e'rl in dem der hills!


Ham Wrangler

sean10mm posted:

Vote Gronk-Megatron 2016: Because Size Matters

Don't forget Minitron.

MikeCrotch
Nov 5, 2011

I AM UNJUSTIFIABLY PROUD OF MY SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE RECIPE

YES, IT IS AN INCREDIBLY SIMPLE DISH

NO, IT IS NOT NORMAL TO USE A PEPPERAMI INSTEAD OF MINCED MEAT

YES, THERE IS TOO MUCH SALT IN MY RECIPE

NO, I WON'T STOP SHARING IT

more like BOLLOCKnese

sean10mm posted:

Vote Gronk-Megatron 2016: Because Size Matters

I will be genuinely torn if Calvin goes to the Pats to try and earn his ring. I mean, I want Megatron to get a ring, right?

But the Pats

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


He's not going to another team, sorry yall

John Brown
Jul 10, 2009

Knyteguy posted:



Checks out

One season of top-tier play since 2011. Yes, it does indeed check out.

Granted Ryan's stats aren't much better, but he's much more dependable and if Megatron were to go to ATL he'd have Julio on the other side. Carolina is just an overall better team and has the chance to be a contender for years to come. We've all seen what Brady can do with a HoF WR who's lost a step.

Dubious
Mar 7, 2006

The Heroes the Vikings Deserve
Lipstick Apathy
ya'll getting trolled by detroit dogg's gimmick

Trast
Oct 20, 2010

Three games, thousands of playthroughs. 90% of the players don't know I exist. Still a redhead saving the galaxy with a [Right Hook].

:edi:
Stephen Ross: "Now Calvin I want you to know that this is a true 1st class organization on everything but the field. We'd never have squandered the talents of Barry Sanders as we never run the ball so you can be guaranteed twenty targets a game from Ryan Tannehill."

Before Megatron can even get up to leave he hear's Bill Belichick's voice in his head like the one ring speaking to Frodo.

Detroit_Dogg
Feb 2, 2008
Aaron Rodgers is gay and lame and oh please cum in me Aaron PLEASE I NEED IT OH STAFFORD YOUR COCK IS NOT WORTHY ONLY THE GAYEST RODGERS PRICK CAN SATISFY MY DESPERATE THROAT

Dubious posted:

ya'll getting trolled by detroit dogg's gimmick

It's not really a gimmick to say one of the better quarterbacks in the league is indeed, one of the better quarterbacks in the league

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR

Scipiotik posted:

I thought there was a real chance Stafford would get shown the door after his craptastic first 8 games. But in the second 8 he put up 19 TDs, 2 Ints, and was right around 70% completion. Basically he went from worst season ever, to best season ever.

~Jim Bob Cooter~

But yeah it'd suck if Calvin retired. But also it'd be pretty great if he didn't die before age 50? So. I dunno. Maybe he should retire.

John Brown
Jul 10, 2009

Detroit_Dogg posted:

It's not really a gimmick to say one of the better quarterbacks in the league is indeed, one of the better quarterbacks in the league

He is indeed one of the better QBs in the league. That's why I said he's above average. Matt Ryan is also above average, but having Julio opposite of you instead of Golden Tate is a substantial difference.

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Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005

Cavauro posted:

if every single one of you doesn't admit that calvin is only considering retirement because having a long nfl career is a death sentence then i'll give you a spicy brain trauma of your own

Who wants to wreck your brain for a poo poo-tier franchise.

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