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kalonZombie posted:25 minutes worth of footage condensed down into this. I hate this game. I hate it so much. OK so things that happened in that episode you didn't see.
So kind of a short episode, but the next episode will more than makeup for it, with bonus special guests.
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Jan 24, 2016 15:44
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Ah, jumps of doom, the best level feature in a life-less game.
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Jan 24, 2016 15:52
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Jesus this game
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Jan 24, 2016 16:21
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You were right, that was incredible. At a guess, mechanically, the jumping might be trying to sync up with your walking cycle in order to create smoother, more 'cinematic' animations, at the cost of giving you completely unplayable bullshit controls where pressing jump only works immediately on certain frames of your running animation. Add to that everything else being wrong with this game and, from the looks of it, poo poo loving sucks.
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Jan 24, 2016 22:21
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Shady Amish Terror posted:You were right, that was incredible. At a guess, mechanically, the jumping might be trying to sync up with your walking cycle in order to create smoother, more 'cinematic' animations, at the cost of giving you completely unplayable bullshit controls where pressing jump only works immediately on certain frames of your running animation. Add to that everything else being wrong with this game and, from the looks of it, poo poo loving sucks. See what gets me is the times where we slammed into the ledge and just flopped.
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Jan 24, 2016 23:35
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Ape Has Killed Ape posted:See what gets me is the times where we slammed into the ledge and just flopped. Well, yeah, but unreliable ledge grabs are far from unique to this game. The jumping frequently just failing to happen in the first place was a little more special. Or, for that matter, the times where a running start led to a half-length little hop, which was also hilarious. As a whole, it's a bad combo, no doubt.
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Jan 25, 2016 13:04
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 Widely regarded as one of the worst Batman games of all time, Batman: Dark Tomorrow came out in 2003 for the Gamecube and the Xbox. For some reason, the PS2 was spared this black mark of a game. It's about a shadowy figure who totally isn't Ras Al Ghul guys c'mon trying to destroy Gotham by... some... way. Gang warfare or something? I honestly couldn't give less of a poo poo. The game looks like poo poo. Keep in mind this was made in 2003. This is the same year Ratchet and Clank: Going Commando was released. It controls like rear end, somehow simultaneously having tank controls but not? Directions on where to go are unclear, requiring a walkthrough. You get a fixed camera that changes with no warning at all, causing you to run in all sorts of weird directions. This game is garbage trash. I originally planned on not having this be an LP at all, and just stream it. However since the game is also short as poo poo, I ended up almost beating it in one sitting, and would have if I had only had another 30-45 minutes or so. As a result, I'm making this an impromptu LP and will probably get to beating it in not too long from now. Episode 1: Swing Batta Batta Batta Batta Swing! Episode 2: Resetti [FILLER] Episode 3: You're Under Bat-Arrest Episode 4: WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?! *FART NOISE* Episode 5: A Baseball Bat and a 2X4 Episode 6: Mandatory Sewer Level Episode 7: Yes, This Episode Is Seriously One Room [FILLER] Episode 8: Killer Croc of poo poo Episode 9: Backtracking [MOSTLY FILLER] Episode 10: Uncle Episode 11: That isn't Schwarzenegger at all! Episode 12: Bat Glider Episode 13: I Want The Good Ending, For Some Reason Episode 14: I Never Have To Play This Again! Hooray! kalonZombie fucked around with this message at 23:47 on Mar 8, 2016 |
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Jan 25, 2016 18:11
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I apologise.
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Jan 25, 2016 22:26
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kalonZombie I have to say that I love that you use The Gonk during the dumb scenes in Star Trek. It's really the perfect song for just really silly stupid moments.
Cowman fucked around with this message at 20:33 on Jan 26, 2016 |
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Jan 26, 2016 20:28
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It's one of the staple songs I keep in the top level of my LP folder (or if I don't, I should), along with the overused but still handy Yakety Sax and Spanish Flea. Breakfast Machine is also a really good one to have available.
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Jan 27, 2016 01:04
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Whoops this game from 2003 doesn't have autosave whoops. Episode 2: Resetti [FILLER]
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Jan 27, 2016 13:47
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I can only assume you're using images from the best Batman depiction to increase contrast with the game.
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Jan 27, 2016 14:34
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ZeeToo posted:I can only assume you're using images from the best Batman depiction to increase contrast with the game. It doesn't deserve the respect of a good modern Batman, so I gave it the hokiest Batman ever. Speaking of which, I'll be streaming the last of the game in about an hour if anyone is interested. https://www.hitbox.tv/kalonzombie
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Jan 28, 2016 01:08
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kalonZombie posted:Whoops this game from 2003 doesn't have autosave whoops. Hrm. So, the level design just consists of hallways and alleys packed densely with garbage?
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Jan 28, 2016 02:44
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Cathode Raymond posted:Hrm. Oh no no no. It's much worse than that. Eventually we bust out a walkthrough and never stop referring to it.
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Jan 28, 2016 06:43
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It's quite an interesting experience to blindly guide someone through a series of environments with no landmarks. Also the guide is awful and it is literally the only one that exists.
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Jan 28, 2016 07:04
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Hey, actual progress! Episode 3: You're Under Bat-Arrest
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Jan 28, 2016 14:26
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And you're sure this is a Gamecube game? The reason I ask is that when I was sixteen I took a poo poo in an empty n64 cartridge just to see what would happen. When I tried to play it, it looked almost exactly like this. Also, please continue playing until you reach at least this point: Shoddy Gamefaqs Guide posted:Batman decapitates Scarface (not graphic), getting him out of the I want to see if the guide is referring to a somehow censored decapitation scene or if the game literally lacks the graphics to depict a decapitation at all.
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Jan 28, 2016 18:06
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Cathode Raymond posted:Also, please continue playing until you reach at least this point: Well considering I beat the game last night, okay. Will do.
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Jan 28, 2016 18:12
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Cathode Raymond posted:I want to see if the guide is referring to a somehow censored decapitation scene or if the game literally lacks the graphics to depict a decapitation at all. I'm pretty sure Scarface is a puppet.
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Jan 28, 2016 18:29
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Ape Has Killed Ape posted:I'm pretty sure Scarface is a puppet. Yes, Scarface is a puppet, Ventriloquist is the guy holding him. Scarface may or may not be haunted by the souls of Arkham inmates who were hung on the tree he was made out of.
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Jan 28, 2016 19:06
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Technowolf posted:Yes, Scarface is a puppet, Ventriloquist is the guy holding him. Scarface may or may not be haunted by the souls of Arkham inmates who were hung on the tree he was made out of. Ohhhhhhhh. The guide made no mention of this, but now I'm remembering a Batman: The Animated Series episode about a puppet crime boss, which was very good, much better than that gamefaqs guide. That's just my opinion though.
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Jan 29, 2016 00:11
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I accidentally put on my best AVGN impression on this episode. Episode 4: WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?! *FART NOISE*
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Jan 29, 2016 15:55
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kalonZombie posted:I accidentally put on my best AVGN impression on this episode. My favorite part is at about 7:20 when you were about to beat Black Mask, and he decides to just run offscreen where you cannot possibly keep track of him due to the uncooperative camera angle and he shoots you in the back. The AI really knows how to exploit Batman's main weakness, lovely Resident Evil camerawork. I think of all the games in this thread, this one is probably the worst, since it fails the hardest at being what it's trying to be. Anatomically speaking, what exactly is going on with that stealth takedown? It looks like Hollywood CPR done lazily from behind, or maybe a half-hearted Heimlich maneuver.
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Jan 29, 2016 18:38
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He's punching them so hard in the chest their ribs are crushed into their heart and lungs and they have a heart attack. Then he just cuffs them and leaves them to die. It's the beginning of the behaviour he shows in the Arkham games.
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Jan 29, 2016 19:06
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If you don't wanna do the Bat-Time don't do the Bat-Crime (the crime is playing this awful game).
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Jan 31, 2016 04:08
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If I could be bothered downloading Origin and Battlefield 3/Dragon Age 2, they would fit into this thread perfectly as some of the worst games of this decade. Great thread so far, does Pound the Ground's general look like a reject psychonauts character to anyone else?
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Jan 31, 2016 04:58
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THE LESBIATHAN posted:If you don't wanna do the Bat-Time don't do the Bat-Crime (the crime is playing this awful game). I can't wait for all of those thugs to go free because citizen's arrests are illegal in Gotham.
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Jan 31, 2016 05:38
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Do NOT miss this Star Trek update. Even if you've been ignoring the LP up until now. This is absolutely required viewing for this thread. Episode 7: Fock
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Jan 31, 2016 14:17
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kalonZombie posted:Do NOT miss this Star Trek update. Even if you've been ignoring the LP up until now. This is absolutely required viewing for this thread. 
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Jan 31, 2016 14:40
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Jan 31, 2016 17:29
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kalonZombie posted:Do NOT miss this Star Trek update. Even if you've been ignoring the LP up until now. This is absolutely required viewing for this thread. Sorry, dude I only made it 3 min in. Drunk whomever's constant laughing exasperated my headache. Good luck on the next video.
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Jan 31, 2016 20:01
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Major_JF posted:Drunk whomever's constant laughing exasperated my headache.
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Jan 31, 2016 20:10
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why is drunk Shmorky on your video?
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Jan 31, 2016 21:28
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JFairfax posted:why is drunk Shmorky on your video? Hi I am not Shmorky but I was drunk. To answer your question its because Kalon asked me to be. I hope you are now informed and, therefore, happy with life. edit: I realized that I did not answer your question in full. I was in the video because Kalon lost the audio and Ape was very mad. So that is the story of how I was in this video, thank you. THE LESBIATHAN fucked around with this message at 21:52 on Jan 31, 2016 |
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Jan 31, 2016 21:49
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thank you, kale in
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Jan 31, 2016 22:02
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Major_JF posted:Sorry, dude I only made it 3 min in. Drunk whomever's constant laughing exasperated my headache. Good luck on the next video. Yeah, the drunk commentary was a bit much. Has this been posted yet? Because I'm posting it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwhAq3F8NCE
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Jan 31, 2016 22:13
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Wanamingo posted:Yeah, the drunk commentary was a bit much. Everything else was garbo. In my viewers experience, drunk commentators are best done when they're slightly tipsy so they can still have crazy reactions/say things but are not commentating by the seat of their pants the rest of the time.
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Feb 1, 2016 03:55
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"Of all the AIs I have played with... "His was the most... "... "Apelike."
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Feb 1, 2016 03:55
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Mandatory sewer level hooraaaaaaaaaay. Episde 5: A Baseball Bat and a 2X4
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Feb 2, 2016 01:33
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