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i friggin jimmy off jimmy off
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Feb 18, 2016 00:33
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Chinatown posted:i like to fantasize about murdering the other people on the road during my daily commute If you don't fantasize about murdering somebody at least one a day then you're a pussy
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Feb 18, 2016 00:49
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i start the day by inciting a riot and then i carefully sneak out of the mob scene and put on my body armor and riot baton
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Feb 18, 2016 00:55
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I take a moderate poo poo and then drink a cup of coffee and smoke some weed and a cig which triggers the full poo poo
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Feb 18, 2016 00:57
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I hit the snooze button or poo poo myself, depending on how much I drank the night before
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Feb 18, 2016 01:01
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As New York City's leading Mohel I begin my day by ritually sharpening my right thumbnail. I don't clean it, or myself, very well. Then I begin my busy day of using my razor sharp nail to snip off young boys foreskins and then suck on the wound with my herpes infested mouth. I finish by having sex with my wife through a hole in a sheet  PEACE
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Feb 18, 2016 01:05
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Jeff Sichoe posted:As New York City's leading Mohel I begin my day by ritually sharpening my right thumbnail. I'm the sheet
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Feb 18, 2016 01:05
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Jeff Sichoe posted:As New York City's leading Mohel I begin my day by ritually sharpening my right thumbnail. I'm the nail
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Feb 18, 2016 01:12
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I keep an IV of meth next to the bedside, it's the only way I can move after waking up lol I don't sleep b/c I IV meth
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Feb 18, 2016 01:12
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i wake up grab a brush and put a little makeup
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Feb 18, 2016 01:14
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Wake up and start brewing coffee. Once the coffee is done and I have a cup I sit down and check e-mails, forums and general computer stuff. Around this time I have to take a massive poo poo. This is probably the most important thing in my life. Depending on how satisfying the dump was really delegates my mood for the rest of the day.
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Feb 18, 2016 01:15
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the great deceiver posted:i wake up somethin somethin somethin on the table somethin somethin somethin if you're able
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Feb 18, 2016 01:39
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i wake up when the ambien wears off to find my dick in a hobo's rear end and my first impulse is to pull out but then i figure hey, the damage is done
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Feb 18, 2016 01:40
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MiracleWhale posted:somethin somethin somethin on the table I WANTED TO
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Feb 18, 2016 01:41
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MiracleWhale posted:i wake up when the ambien wears off to find my dick in a hobo's rear end and my first impulse is to pull out but then i figure hey, the damage is done That was you????
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Feb 18, 2016 01:54
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pinksock posted:That was you???? 
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Feb 18, 2016 02:14
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There is no greater disappointment on this earth than a half baked morning poo poo you just know is gonna crop up again around tennish forcing you to find refuge in a completely undesirable bathroom
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Feb 18, 2016 02:16
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i dont' wke up op specifically i have a system which involves mechanical slides which move me from my bed to my google self driving car. eventually i 'come to' during the soft sounds of U2 playing over my bose noise cancelling headphones which are programmed to slowly increase volume as i get closer to work. once my car arrives i have a cup of coffee and jack off at my desk
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Feb 18, 2016 02:17
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I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.
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Feb 18, 2016 02:19
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mull around in the bathroom until the stimulants kick in then dog trot to work in my car going 2x the speed limit but still arriving 15min late on average https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABCDPGzjalQ guess which one i am gently caress
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Feb 18, 2016 02:24
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naem posted:I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. same. you won't believe my business card. it's bone, and lettering is something called silian rail
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Feb 18, 2016 02:40
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every day I wake up and kill myself
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Feb 18, 2016 02:42
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Moola posted:every day I wake up and kill myself this is the time of our livvvvvvvves
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Feb 18, 2016 02:43
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Moola posted:every day I wake up and kill myself same except it's other people
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Feb 18, 2016 02:44
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On the weekends i like to have a coffee and smash a couple cones then have a big poo poo, followed by a huge wank and then lunch and a nap.
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Feb 18, 2016 02:50
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Rasmussen posted:On the weekends i like to have a coffee and smash a couple cones then have a big poo poo, followed by a huge wank and then lunch and a nap. 
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Feb 18, 2016 02:51
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^^^same but kind of daily
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Feb 18, 2016 02:54
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* alarm clock plays I Got You Babe* GODDAMMIT
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Feb 18, 2016 02:58
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Rasmussen posted:followed by a huge wank gotta crank your engine to get things started
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Feb 18, 2016 03:23
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When i was younger it was a pint of wine and a few bumps of speed and off to work
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Feb 18, 2016 03:29
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MiracleWhale posted:if i don't take a whole fistful of pills and jack off and take a poo poo and drink two cups of coffee and eat a huge breakfast and smoke a pipe thoughtfully while watching the stock ticker in my velvet wallpapered parlor then i'm just not myself Same
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Feb 18, 2016 03:31
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Used to snort speed all day. Go to the pub till 5am. Sleep an hour then go to work. Then on the weekend id really party.
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Feb 18, 2016 03:32
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Isaac posted:Used to snort speed all day. Go to the pub till 5am. Sleep an hour then go to work. Then on the weekend id really party. So when are we supposed to start pitying you because that sounds loving glorious
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Feb 18, 2016 03:34
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Nigmaetcetera posted:So when are we supposed to start pitying you because that sounds loving glorious It was pretty fun
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Feb 18, 2016 03:38
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I fall back asleep and dream of getting a blowjob.
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Feb 18, 2016 03:39
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Microwaves Mom posted:I fall back asleep and dream of getting a blowjob. i always have sex dreams and that's why i can't sleep on my front side, cuz of the lever action, and also because i can't breathe
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Feb 18, 2016 04:03
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Isaac posted:It was pretty fun is there any downside or should i hop on this train right now
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Feb 18, 2016 04:04
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Isaac posted:It was pretty fun I'm craving crystal so bad right now
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Feb 18, 2016 04:06
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Chivas regal with the morning papers, Dunhills, cocaine
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Feb 18, 2016 04:07
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MiracleWhale posted:is there any downside or should i hop on this train right now You need to do lots of work to pay for the speed that lets you do lots of work. Also eventually makes you crazy.
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Feb 18, 2016 04:09
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