The Best (Worst) Of Conservapedia

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Stalingrad: Feb 5, 2011

razorrozar posted:

One hundred percent of the people who have ever lived will die.

That is actually what the article that links to points out...

It claims God is killing famous people to remind us that we're going to hell if we die in our sins.

# ? Feb 28, 2016 20:56

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 14:59

Twelve by Pies: May 4, 2012; Again a very likpatous story

razorrozar posted:

One hundred percent of the people who have ever lived will die.

I think you mean 99.99999999999999999999999999999999% you heathen, Elijah was carried into Heaven without dying. :colbert:

Stalingrad posted:

That is actually what the article that links to points out...

It claims God is killing famous people to remind us that we're going to hell if we die in our sins.

It checks out, famous people never died before this, proving it's a message from God.

# ? Feb 28, 2016 21:50

Orange Fluffy Sheep: Jul 26, 2008; Bad EXP received

Incidentally, literally nothing about the colliding black holes which provide evidence Andy is wrong, because it provides evidence Andy is wrong.

# ? Feb 28, 2016 22:37

Fathis Munk: Feb 23, 2013; ??? ?

Orange Fluffy Sheep posted:

Andy is wrong.

Preposterous! :monocle:

# ? Feb 29, 2016 07:34

Pope Guilty: Nov 6, 2006; The human animal is a beautiful and terrible creature, capable of limitless compassion and unfathomable cruelty.

Stalingrad posted:

That is actually what the article that links to points out...

It claims God is killing famous people to remind us that we're going to hell if we die in our sins.

I like the idea that God murders people just to teach me a lesson. It makes me feel like God cares for me infinitely, and for everybody else not at all.

# ? Feb 29, 2016 07:52

evilmiera: Dec 14, 2009; Status: Ravenously Rambunctious

Pope Guilty posted:

I like the idea that God murders people just to teach me a lesson. It makes me feel like God cares for me infinitely, and for everybody else not at all.

It also makes him senile. Like we forgot people died in droves just last year. But apparently this time it was super serious because celebrities died again.

# ? Mar 24, 2016 00:00

Parahexavoctal: Oct 10, 2004; I AM NOT BEING PAID TO CORRECT OTHER PEOPLE'S POSTS! DONKEY!!

http://www.conservapedia.com/Dungeons_and_Dragons posted:

Many of these mythological gods are considered creatures of human invention, but some are now considered demons by the Christian Church

(...)

Now based in Seattle Washington, rather than Lake Geneva Wisconsin, the editors at WotC seem to exhibit the cultural norms found in Seattle rather than the heartlands. For example, rather than using the pronoun he in non-gender specific rules, Third Edition D&D bypasses the clumsy but politically correct construct he/she, and describes rules based on hypothetical characters.

(...)

many of the more evil creatures in Dungeons and Dragons prey on each other as much as on good people (the iconic example being lawful evil devils and chaotic evil demons); some of the text in the game indicates that they should be left to do this, rather than someone trying to destroy one or the other and uniting them, however briefly, in a struggle against the interloper. This is a troubling symptom of our cultural drift from conservative values

(...)

no thought or planning was invested into the potential impact of defining the powers and abilities of demons and devils. To the game's designers and players, killing a demon (in game) was no more controversial than killing a bishop in a game of chess.

But to bystanders the very inclusion of demons and devils was enough to cast suspicion upon the entire game--particularly since the game's much-touted freedom might allow a character to side with them. Additionally, the inclusion of demons and devils in the game raised other questions, such as why there are no angels in the game

(...)

role-playing is a powerful behavior modification tool. The concept is that if you pretend that you believe something, eventually you will believe that thing. For this reason, he posited that it was important to avoid role-playing in a polytheistic world. Referencing the classic argument from Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis, Ravitts explained how polytheism is really just atheism or monotheism in disguise. He believed that if players and DM's actively played in an atheistic world, they would eventually become atheists.

(...)

for those who care about their spiritual well-being. Firstly, one could assume that all humans are teleported from Earth or descended from folks who were teleported from Earth. These humans have preserved their religious identities and thus Christianity is an option

(...)

The game has drawn criticism for allowing players to undertake the roleplaying of un-Christian activities

# ? Mar 29, 2016 19:22

420 Gank Mid: Dec 26, 2008; WARNING: This poster is a huge bitch!

quote:

role-playing is a powerful behavior modification tool. The concept is that if you pretend that you believe something, eventually you will believe that thing.

This says a lot about these diehard evangelicals if they really think like that.

# ? Mar 29, 2016 19:28

Nihilarian: Oct 2, 2013

Parahexavoctal posted:

But to bystanders the very inclusion of demons and devils was enough to cast suspicion upon the entire game--particularly since the game's much-touted freedom might allow a character to side with them. Additionally, the inclusion of demons and devils in the game raised other questions, such as why there are no angels in the game

Angels in D&D 3.5

# ? Mar 29, 2016 19:34

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

quote:

many of the more evil creatures in Dungeons and Dragons prey on each other as much as on good people (the iconic example being lawful evil devils and chaotic evil demons); some of the text in the game indicates that they should be left to do this, rather than someone trying to destroy one or the other and uniting them, however briefly, in a struggle against the interloper. This is a troubling symptom of our cultural drift from conservative values

Strategy and letting your enemies fight each other aren't conservative values?

I guess that explains the War on Terror.

# ? Mar 29, 2016 19:34

Dirk the Average: Feb 7, 2012; "This may have been a mistake."

Nihilarian posted:

Angels in D&D 3.5

Even better, if I'm not mistaken, the most powerful angels are the ones straight out of biblical mythology.

# ? Mar 29, 2016 19:50

Parahexavoctal: Oct 10, 2004; I AM NOT BEING PAID TO CORRECT OTHER PEOPLE'S POSTS! DONKEY!!

http://www.conservapedia.com/Unbreakable posted:

Unbreakable is a movie about a college football star who gave up the game after a car accident and his encounter with a man who wants to know his "place" in the world. It was directed by M. Night Shyamalan, who previously made the much more successful film The Sixth Sense.

Spoiler warning

This article contains important plot information

David Dunn (Bruce Willis) is a security guard at university football stadium, looking for new work in New York because of his strained marriage.

... and that's it.

# ? Mar 29, 2016 23:34

Fathis Munk: Feb 23, 2013; ??? ?

Haha facts, who are you going to convince with those silly things?

# ? Mar 30, 2016 00:28

Mischalaniouse: Nov 7, 2009; *ribbit*

That's really bizarre, trying to describe a movie using its tertiary plot details. Like "Kill Bill is about a woman who goes on a trip to Japan. She speaks Japanese and visits local businesses."

# ? Mar 30, 2016 01:31

Pope Guilty: Nov 6, 2006; The human animal is a beautiful and terrible creature, capable of limitless compassion and unfathomable cruelty.

420 Gank Mid posted:

This says a lot about these diehard evangelicals if they really think like that.

Obviously false, since they've been pretending to believe in the teachings of Christ for the longest time.

# ? Mar 30, 2016 01:33

Dr. Arbitrary: Mar 15, 2006; Bleak Gremlin

Mischalaniouse posted:

That's really bizarre, trying to describe a movie using its tertiary plot details. Like "Kill Bill is about a woman who goes on a trip to Japan. She speaks Japanese and visits local businesses."

That sounds like a fun challenge.

Ghostbusters (1984) is about three scientists who live in New York. They visit a library but get fired so they all move in together to live in a fire station.

They meet a cellist, an accountant, an EPA lawyer, and an unemployed black man.

They get arrested, but they are let go later.

In the end, they go to the roof of a building and make a mess.

# ? Mar 30, 2016 01:45

TapTheForwardAssist: Apr 9, 2007; Pretty Little Lyres

Dr. Arbitrary posted:

That sounds like a fun challenge.

Ghostbusters (1984) is about three scientists who live in New York. They visit a library but get fired so they all move in together to live in a fire station.

They meet a cellist, an accountant, an EPA lawyer, and an unemployed black man.

They get arrested, but they are let go later.

In the end, they go to the roof of a building and make a mess.

GBS needs this to be a thread. Do it.

# ? Mar 30, 2016 02:40

VitalSigns: Sep 3, 2011

Hamlet is the story of some Danish guy who finds out his stepdad has enlisted two of his childhood friends to spy on him and set him up to be executed, but Hamlet outsmarts them and the pair unwittingly deliver themselves up to execution instead.

# ? Mar 30, 2016 02:56

jojoinnit: Dec 13, 2010; Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.

The Day the Earth Stood Still (1928): a robot is in Central Park. Autumn passes.

# ? Mar 30, 2016 04:43

Jedi Knight Luigi: Jul 13, 2009

Laura: They find the clue in the clock.

# ? Mar 30, 2016 04:51

BravestOfTheLamps: Oct 12, 2012; by FactsAreUseless; Lipstick Apathy

New work in New York

# ? Mar 30, 2016 05:34

Pope Guilty: Nov 6, 2006; The human animal is a beautiful and terrible creature, capable of limitless compassion and unfathomable cruelty.

It's very cold, and a man doesn't want to be tied to a couch.

# ? Mar 30, 2016 05:43

Dr. Arbitrary: Mar 15, 2006; Bleak Gremlin

Groundhog Day stars Bill Murray who plays a TV weatherman. He visits the town of Punxsutawney to report on Groundhog day. He wakes up at 6 AM, learns some new skills, falls in love with a his producer Rita and decides to move to Punxsutawney permanently.

# ? Mar 30, 2016 07:16

Dr. Arbitrary: Mar 15, 2006; Bleak Gremlin

TapTheForwardAssist posted:

GBS needs this to be a thread. Do it.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3770305

# ? Mar 30, 2016 07:23

Fulchrum: Apr 16, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Inside Out: A young girl moves to a new city and is sad. She tries to run away, but comes back.

# ? Mar 30, 2016 07:36

Mr. Belpit: Nov 11, 2008

edit: whoops, shoulda refreshed; didn't see the thread link.

# ? Mar 30, 2016 08:10

Your Gay Uncle: Feb 16, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

The Accused: Jodie Foster gets what she deserves.

An Oscar for best actress

# ? Apr 6, 2016 04:24

Shalebridge Cradle: Apr 23, 2008

A bit tangential to Conservapedia, but it looks like Phyllis Schlafly might get kicked out of her own organization. At the very least it looks like the Eagle Forum is coming apart at the seems just because she endorsed Trump

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/phyllis-schlafly-eagle-forum-plotting-coup

# ? Apr 13, 2016 05:35

Dr. Arbitrary: Mar 15, 2006; Bleak Gremlin

Parahexavoctal posted:

... and that's it.

TapTheForwardAssist posted:

GBS needs this to be a thread. Do it.

This was an enormous success!

# ? Apr 13, 2016 06:41

Fathis Munk: Feb 23, 2013; ??? ?

Everytime this thread gets resurrected I go back to Conservapedia to check their news. They are always preposterous. :allears:

# ? Apr 13, 2016 07:46

TapTheForwardAssist: Apr 9, 2007; Pretty Little Lyres

Shalebridge Cradle posted:

A bit tangential to Conservapedia, but it looks like Phyllis Schlafly might get kicked out of her own organization. At the very least it looks like the Eagle Forum is coming apart at the seems just because she endorsed Trump

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/phyllis-schlafly-eagle-forum-plotting-coup

You skipped the best part: Today, she maintains an active presence on the Eagle Forum site, where she writes posts such as a recent April column titled "Chinese Crowding Our College Campuses."

Oh, them grapes is sour!

quote:

High school seniors are eagerly watching their mail this month, hoping for the �fat envelope� indicating acceptance by the college of their choice. Unfortunately, more American students are receiving the �thin envelope� because college acceptance rates are continuing their decade-long decline.
....
One reason for this trend is the huge increase of students from foreign countries, especially China, who are admitted to study on American campuses. The numbers of Chinese and other foreign students who go to college in the U.S. is truly mind-boggling.
...
California has more U.S.-born Chinese students than any other state, but its public colleges nevertheless admit huge numbers of students from mainland China, including 1,200 at UC Berkeley (up from 47 a decade ago) and 2,200 at UC San Diego (up from 70). Of the nearly 1 million people living in the United States on F-1 student visas, about 360,000 are from China.

Why did U.S. universities decide to open their doors to foreign students? Follow the money. Foreign students usually pay full tuition rates, which could be two or three times more than American students pay.

Like any business seeking to exploit a new profit opportunity, the higher education �industry� has hired more Chinese-speaking staff in order to recruit more students and cater to them after they arrive on campus. Some U.S. universities even hold pre-departure orientations in China.
....
Chinese students do seem to have plenty of money to spend, and not just for tuition, room and board. Many drive expensive cars and wear fashionable clothing, which makes them stand out among typical American college students.

While an American kid might drive a beat-up Toyota handed down from an older member of the family, Chinese students seem to have no problem affording a new Audi, BMW, or Lexus. In the Boston area, which has 44,000 foreign students attending dozens of colleges, the 12,000 Chinese students are often seen driving Maseratis, Lamborghinis, and Range Rovers.

At Michigan State in East Lansing, where 4,400 Chinese students are enrolled, Chinese students accounted for 10 to 20 percent of a luxury car dealer�s entire sales. Chinese students provided 8 percent of the sales of a luxury car dealership near the University of Oregon at Eugene, and 5 percent of sales by a luxury dealer near the University of Iowa in Iowa City.

In case you�re thinking that Chinese students must be some of �the best and the brightest� who provide the brain power needed by America�s engineering schools, nothing could be further from the truth. Most Chinese students have no better than average ability, and many do not speak, write, or understand English well enough to contribute significantly to the academic community.

A professor of Chinese history at New York University told the Wall Street Journal that students from China often pose a �burden� on her lectures, which she has to modify for their benefit. Many Chinese students �are woefully underprepared,� she said.

WholeRen Education, a U.S. company that caters to students from China, reported that some 8,000 Chinese students were expelled from American universities last year, mostly for poor academic performance or cheating. �Chinese students used to be considered top-notch,� a WholeRen executive said, �but over the past five years their image has changed completely � wealthy kids who cheat.�
....

What, the spoiled rotten offspring of filthy rich oligarchs are wasting everyone's time going to top-tier colleges, paying pricey out-of-state tuition, where they just party and flaunt their wealth? Not in *my* America, pal!

# ? Apr 13, 2016 11:17

Fathis Munk: Feb 23, 2013; ??? ?

You'd think they'd be happy about the Chinese spending their hard earned money in America.

Also that's your dear :capitalism:

at work, as a Conservative, shouldn't you be happy?

# ? Apr 13, 2016 12:42

MeLKoR: Dec 23, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

Yeah

. Does she ever make a point about why she thinks any of this is bad other than "uppity orientals"?

# ? Apr 13, 2016 13:42

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

I'm dissapointed Andy didn't post anything about the two earthquakes the other day. Doesn't he have some loony thing about earthquakes being a sign the world is getting worse or less godly or something?

# ? Apr 17, 2016 19:03

DeusExMachinima: Sep 2, 2012; This poster loves police brutality, but only when its against minorities!

Put this loser on ignore immediately!

quote:

Why did U.S. universities decide to open their doors to foreign students? Follow the money. Foreign students usually pay full tuition rates, which could be two or three times more than American students pay.

Like any business seeking to exploit a new profit opportunity, the higher education �industry� has hired more Chinese-speaking staff in order to recruit more students and cater to them after they arrive on campus. Some U.S. universities even hold pre-departure orientations in China.

Holy poo poo lady. :irony:

Catering to market demand to make profit is, like, the whole point of businesses.

# ? Apr 17, 2016 23:07

Twelve by Pies: May 4, 2012; Again a very likpatous story

Hmm, it's almost as if "Businesses exist to make profit" is just an excuse they use so they can poo poo on poor people and the environment.

# ? Apr 17, 2016 23:37

Fly: Nov 3, 2002; moral compass

Most U.S. universities are explicitly not-for-profit. For-profit universities have recently come under scrutiny, and accepting any position that universities *should* be for-profit is dangerous. Among the many things for which I can fault her, I cannot fault her for not wanting universities to be motivated by profit.

# ? Apr 18, 2016 01:33

hooah: Feb 6, 2006; WTF?

We would all like them not to be motivated by profit (or making money to do whatever with, certainly not for profit!), but that's how the system currently works. So she's naive and stupid.

# ? Apr 18, 2016 02:04

VitalSigns: Sep 3, 2011

Fly posted:

Most U.S. universities are explicitly not-for-profit. For-profit universities have recently come under scrutiny, and accepting any position that universities *should* be for-profit is dangerous. Among the many things for which I can fault her, I cannot fault her for not wanting universities to be motivated by profit.

She does though, she just wants the rich kids pricing poors out of education and getting a free pass on their wealth and connections to be white kids.

# ? Apr 18, 2016 02:12

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 14:59

Dr. Killjoy: Oct 9, 2012

The California UC system is one such source of this "cashing in on rich Chinese" trend in universities and the motivations aren't so much profit-driven as they are that there's just never enough federal funding to go around so the schools are trying to make up for that with these international admissions. Otherwise we'd be raising tuition for in-state student and boy golly try justifying that to in-state students. "Sure we're just as expensive as a private university now but aren't ya glad something something ethics in admissions process something something no more celestials"

# ? Apr 18, 2016 04:59

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