I bought some outsider art from a mentally ill hobo

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > I bought some outsider art from a mentally ill hobo

Centripetal Horse: Nov 22, 2009; Fuck money, get GBS

This could have bought you a half a tank of gas, lmfao -
Love, gromdul

He's not actually a hobo; that just made for a better title. I think he lives in one of the not-terribly-nice buildings near where he approached me.

I heard somebody yelling behind me, so I turned around. There was a thin, older (than me, but not old) black guy waving at me. He walked up, making placating gestures with his hands, and smiling and bobbing his head. I didn't know what he wanted, until he held out some pieces of paper, and said he suffers from dementia, and he tries to earn money selling his artwork on the street. He showed me the three pieces he had, and repeated he was trying to get a little money for him. I asked how much "a little" was. He waffled a bit, then I asked how much for all three. He looked stunned, and a little nervous. He took two steps back, and pulled the drawings in close to himself. "Are you serious?" He looked like he thought I was loving with him, or like he thought I was going to attack him.

The man though about my question for a while, looking up, and blinking. He hesitantly said, "Twelve. Three dollars each." Note that this is wrong. Maybe he thought there were four pieces, or maybe he meant to say four dollars each. Maybe I misheard him. He looked like he thought he was asking for the moon. Anyway, I offered him $20, and he was thrilled. His breath might have smelled a tiny bit of alcohol.

I got two Alis, and a Jesus. I think I did alright.

The writing says, "If Muhammad Ali had to box Superman, no one would have liked it."

This one is especially apropos, since I chased a drunk driver who slammed into an oncoming vehicle, last night.

The condition of the drawings is apparently from his home flooding during the rain we recently had.

After I paid him, he said he was going to go straight to the library, and "draw them, again." I told him not to draw them again, but to draw new ones, and to come find me if he draws any more Muhammad Alis.

# ? Jul 17, 2016 00:47

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# ? May 13, 2024 12:26

Enfield: May 30, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

great job you loving retard

# ? Jul 17, 2016 00:48

let it mellow: Jun 1, 2000; Dinosaur Gum

he told u $12 and u offered $20?

congrats on your financial acumen op

# ? Jul 17, 2016 00:49

Centripetal Horse: Nov 22, 2009; Fuck money, get GBS

This could have bought you a half a tank of gas, lmfao -
Love, gromdul

jackyl posted:

he told u $12 and u offered $20?

congrats on your financial acumen op

I was pretty sure the street art sketch artist with dementia hustling pictures for nickels didn't have change.

# ? Jul 17, 2016 00:49

Putty: Mar 21, 2013; HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

how dare you admit to purposefully clickbaiting your thread title i am calling the police

# ? Jul 17, 2016 00:50

jeff smisek: May 18, 2009

Thought u were poor or something??? Anyways, sick art op

# ? Jul 17, 2016 00:51

Luvcow: Jul 1, 2007; One day nearer spring

frame them

# ? Jul 17, 2016 00:51

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

You done good, OP.

# ? Jul 17, 2016 00:51

ANIME IS BLOOD: Sep 4, 2008; by zen death robot

build a gallery

(in a refrigerator box)

# ? Jul 17, 2016 00:52

Elusif: Jun 9, 2008

i expected drad bert art

# ? Jul 17, 2016 00:52

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Can't post for 15 hours!; Nap Ghost

Centripetal Horse posted:

He's not actually a hobo; that just made for a better title. I think he lives in one of the not-terribly-nice buildings near where he approached me.

I heard somebody yelling behind me, so I turned around. There was a thin, older (than me, but not old) black guy waving at me. He walked up, making placating gestures with his hands, and smiling and bobbing his head. I didn't know what he wanted, until he held out some pieces of paper, and said he suffers from dementia, and he tries to earn money selling his artwork on the street. He showed me the three pieces he had, and repeated he was trying to get a little money for him. I asked how much "a little" was. He waffled a bit, then I asked how much for all three. He looked stunned, and a little nervous. He took two steps back, and pulled the drawings in close to himself. "Are you serious?" He looked like he thought I was loving with him, or like he thought I was going to attack him.

The man though about my question for a while, looking up, and blinking. He hesitantly said, "Twelve. Three dollars each." Note that this is wrong. Maybe he thought there were four pieces, or maybe he meant to say four dollars each. Maybe I misheard him. He looked like he thought he was asking for the moon. Anyway, I offered him $20, and he was thrilled. His breath might have smelled a tiny bit of alcohol.

I got two Alis, and a Jesus. I think I did alright.

The writing says, "If Muhammad Ali had to box Superman, no one would have liked it."

This one is especially apropos, since I chased a drunk driver who slammed into an oncoming vehicle, last night.

The condition of the drawings is apparently from his home flooding during the rain we recently had.

After I paid him, he said he was going to go straight to the library, and "draw them, again." I told him not to draw them again, but to draw new ones, and to come find me if he draws any more Muhammad Alis.

scribblings that some drug addict sold you do not count as outsider art

# ? Jul 17, 2016 00:53

Unknowable Hole: Feb 2, 2005; Pillbug

The superman one is pretty great.

# ? Jul 17, 2016 00:53

extra stout: Feb 24, 2005; ISILDUR's ERR

Centripetal Horse posted:

He's not actually a hobo; that just made for a better title. I think he lives in one of the not-terribly-nice buildings near where he approached me.

I heard somebody yelling behind me, so I turned around. There was a thin, older (than me, but not old) black guy waving at me. He walked up, making placating gestures with his hands, and smiling and bobbing his head. I didn't know what he wanted, until he held out some pieces of paper, and said he suffers from dementia, and he tries to earn money selling his artwork on the street. He showed me the three pieces he had, and repeated he was trying to get a little money for him. I asked how much "a little" was. He waffled a bit, then I asked how much for all three. He looked stunned, and a little nervous. He took two steps back, and pulled the drawings in close to himself. "Are you serious?" He looked like he thought I was loving with him, or like he thought I was going to attack him.

The man though about my question for a while, looking up, and blinking. He hesitantly said, "Twelve. Three dollars each." Note that this is wrong. Maybe he thought there were four pieces, or maybe he meant to say four dollars each. Maybe I misheard him. He looked like he thought he was asking for the moon. Anyway, I offered him $20, and he was thrilled. His breath might have smelled a tiny bit of alcohol.

I got two Alis, and a Jesus. I think I did alright.

The writing says, "If Muhammad Ali had to box Superman, no one would have liked it."

This one is especially apropos, since I chased a drunk driver who slammed into an oncoming vehicle, last night.

The condition of the drawings is apparently from his home flooding during the rain we recently had.

After I paid him, he said he was going to go straight to the library, and "draw them, again." I told him not to draw them again, but to draw new ones, and to come find me if he draws any more Muhammad Alis.

i sort of feel like you're a better person than i am and then i sort of wonder if he'll commit his greatest crime ever while hosed up out of his mind using your 20 dollars very efficiently

# ? Jul 17, 2016 00:53

Drad_Bert: Jun 26, 2013; by Smythe

E Equals MC Hammer posted:

i expected drad bert art

You gots to pay

# ? Jul 17, 2016 00:57

Centripetal Horse: Nov 22, 2009; Fuck money, get GBS

This could have bought you a half a tank of gas, lmfao -
Love, gromdul

jeff smisek posted:

Thought u were poor or something??? Anyways, sick art op

I was poor. I am no longer poor, although I am not swimming in money. I can afford a one-time $20 expenditure. If he had wanted $30, I would have had to pass.

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

scribblings that some drug addict sold you do not count as outsider art

It explicitly does.

Luvcow posted:

frame them

I may very well do that.

captainoblivious posted:

The superman one is pretty great.

It is. I also like the Jesus one. The other want I bought just to keep the collection intact.

extra stout posted:

i sort of feel like you're a better person than i am and then i sort of wonder if he'll commit his greatest crime ever while hosed up out of his mind using your 20 dollars very efficiently

I suspect his greatest crimes may be against his liver.

# ? Jul 17, 2016 00:59

JakeP: Apr 27, 2003; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Lipstick Apathy

grats on buying some crack or heroin for a homeless person OP

# ? Jul 17, 2016 01:00

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Can't post for 15 hours!; Nap Ghost

no, its hobo scriblling. Outsider art has to have an audience.

# ? Jul 17, 2016 01:03

nomadologique: Mar 9, 2011; DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO

did you draw these op and try to pass tehem off as the work of a demetia sufferer?

# ? Jul 17, 2016 01:06

Centripetal Horse: Nov 22, 2009; Fuck money, get GBS

This could have bought you a half a tank of gas, lmfao -
Love, gromdul

JakeP posted:

grats on buying some crack or heroin for a homeless person OP

If he's a heroin addict, it's still a new habit. He didn't have the signs. Anyway, the crack isn't going to buy itself.

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

no, its hobo scriblling. Outsider art has to have an audience.

First of all, no, it doesn't. Art produced and hidden in some nobody's attic for fifty years is still outsider art. Have a quote from the ultimate authority on everything:

quote:

a label created by French artist Jean Dubuffet to describe art created outside the boundaries of official culture; Dubuffet focused particularly on art by those on the outside of the established art scene, such as psychiatric hospital patients and children

Second of all, it has an audience. I bought it. I posted it, here, and other people viewed and commented on it. It is now more successful and widely seen that 99.9% of all art ever produced.

Edit:

nomadologique posted:

did you draw these op and try to pass tehem off as the work of a demetia sufferer?

Nope. The story is 100% true.

# ? Jul 17, 2016 01:06

Unknowable Hole: Feb 2, 2005; Pillbug

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

no, its hobo scriblling. Outsider art has to have an audience.

Eat a dick Pumpkinz

# ? Jul 17, 2016 01:07

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Can't post for 15 hours!; Nap Ghost

sorry. it has to be able to gain an audience.

# ? Jul 17, 2016 01:10

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

Now kill him and reap the profits.

# ? Jul 17, 2016 01:25

ANIME IS BLOOD: Sep 4, 2008; by zen death robot

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

sorry. it has to be able to gain an audience.

*shakes mumpy roughly* Im the audience now

# ? Jul 17, 2016 01:26

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

Sorry about your hentai game, OP.

# ? Jul 17, 2016 01:33

Dreddout: Oct 1, 2015; You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

Thought this would be about buying the rights to dgsw's hit song "Castle Kids"

# ? Jul 17, 2016 01:35

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Can't post for 15 hours!; Nap Ghost

ANIME IS BLOOD posted:

*shakes mumpy roughly* Im the audience now

please dont do that

# ? Jul 17, 2016 01:37

ANIME IS BLOOD: Sep 4, 2008; by zen death robot

Its outsider art from an insane hobo, not the #1 Summer Jam

# ? Jul 17, 2016 01:37

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

ask him to get some color in those things!

# ? Jul 17, 2016 01:37

let it mellow: Jun 1, 2000; Dinosaur Gum

I dunno what outsider art even means, apparently it means a mentally ill dude writes some poo poo in a napkin under a bridge and tries to sell it for $12 but another mentally ill dude gives him $20 for it while they are both outside

# ? Jul 17, 2016 01:38

spud: Aug 27, 2003; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

I like your husband's pictures op.

# ? Jul 17, 2016 01:40

Iron Prince: Aug 28, 2005; Buglord

WHATS HIS FUCKIN NAME OP

# ? Jul 17, 2016 01:42

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

jackyl posted:

I dunno what outsider art even means, apparently it means a mentally ill dude writes some poo poo in a napkin under a bridge and tries to sell it for $12 but another mentally ill dude gives him $20 for it while they are both outside

# ? Jul 17, 2016 01:44

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Can't post for 15 hours!; Nap Ghost

jackyl posted:

I dunno what outsider art even means, apparently it means a mentally ill dude writes some poo poo in a napkin under a bridge and tries to sell it for $12 but another mentally ill dude gives him $20 for it while they are both outside

I new there was a loving reason I liked you

# ? Jul 17, 2016 01:45

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

satanic splash-back posted:

ask him to get some color in those things!

Buy him some coloured pencils so he can do this.

# ? Jul 17, 2016 01:46

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

Why does Superman have Tawny Kitain hair?

# ? Jul 17, 2016 01:46

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Can't post for 15 hours!; Nap Ghost

criscodisco posted:

Why does Superman have Tawny Kitain hair?

the only word i understood in that was superman

# ? Jul 17, 2016 01:48

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

You just like to be argumentative Mumpy and I'll never understand why.

# ? Jul 17, 2016 01:49

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Can't post for 15 hours!; Nap Ghost

criscodisco posted:

You just like to be argumentative Mumpy and I'll never understand why.

Its no fun if we all agree.

# ? Jul 17, 2016 01:52

Centripetal Horse: Nov 22, 2009; Fuck money, get GBS

This could have bought you a half a tank of gas, lmfao -
Love, gromdul

satanic splash-back posted:

ask him to get some color in those things!

I was actually thinking about buying some colored pencils to give to him next time I see him. True story. That occurred to me as I was creating this thread.

jackyl posted:

I dunno what outsider art even means, apparently it means a mentally ill dude writes some poo poo in a napkin under a bridge and tries to sell it for $12 but another mentally ill dude gives him $20 for it while they are both outside

This is essentially correct.

Iron Prince posted:

WHATS HIS FUCKIN NAME OP

He signed the pictures.

Sunswipe posted:

Buy him some coloured pencils so he can do this.

Apparently we're all on the same page with this.

criscodisco posted:

Why does Superman have Tawny Kitain hair?

I'm not sure, but I am almost certain that particular Superman is black, and not just black, but modeled after a particular black actor whose name I can't quite dig up.

Edit: Or it could just be coincidence, and some superficial resemblance to someone making my facial* recognition go haywire.

* Let it go, criscodisco.

# ? Jul 17, 2016 01:57

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# ? May 13, 2024 12:26

Iron Prince: Aug 28, 2005; Buglord

Centripetal Horse posted:

He signed the pictures.

this implies that i can read. don't literacy shame pls.

# ? Jul 17, 2016 02:01

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