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Get drunk have sex have kids its the advice i give all my children i talk to once a year/decade
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Jul 30, 2016 07:51
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Iron Prince posted:it doesn't have to be You have the same reg year as me. gently caress off if you can't understand it as being a "thing"
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Jul 30, 2016 07:51
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five in the stink
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Jul 30, 2016 09:04
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VendaGoat posted:You have the same reg year as me. yeah sure its a real thing no one disagrees but it doesnt have to be
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Jul 30, 2016 09:12
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when the lights are out, nobody can tell if you swap your dick out for someone else's
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Jul 30, 2016 09:20
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Randy newman wifeswap.
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Jul 30, 2016 09:22
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suck the dick. if your partner does not have a dick, you are doing it wrong.
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Jul 30, 2016 09:34
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DoctorG0nzo posted:https://youtu.be/oM2PwriqOjc Thread needs to just be about this video now. Once I took off the blindfold I never wanted this video to stop.
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Jul 30, 2016 09:35
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lonesomedwarf posted:five in the stink
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Jul 30, 2016 09:36
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Stink in the pink.
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Jul 30, 2016 09:39
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poo poo in the sink.
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Jul 30, 2016 09:40
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Lick pussy, less effort than penis sex
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Jul 30, 2016 09:48
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DoctorG0nzo posted:https://youtu.be/oM2PwriqOjc pro click
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Jul 30, 2016 09:52
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im too fat for sex, op I try to do the sex but I get exhausted very quickly and i can't operate my penis correctly
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Jul 30, 2016 10:03
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guys really like it when you get so drunk you puke all over their dick when giving head
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Jul 30, 2016 10:04
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Remember to leave the money on the dresser table.
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Jul 30, 2016 10:15
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Zzulu posted:im too fat for sex, op if you are getting tired during sex, you can get around this by storing a couple dozen fresh grapes inside your anus to snack on during the process as a refreshing and energizing pick-me-up. for a slightly more advanced technique, try offering some to your partner to show that you are a caring and considerate lover
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Jul 30, 2016 10:21
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Leave at least a 17% tip.
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Jul 30, 2016 10:33
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if she asks what you are there for, its probably a cop
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Jul 30, 2016 10:40
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👌👈
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Jul 30, 2016 10:43
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Don't be afraid to try new things, eat out an rear end in a top hat, let someone strap electrodes to your most sensitive areas, give consent to be chloroformrd and penetrated by a taxidermied eel sex is an adventure
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Jul 30, 2016 12:14
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i heard sex stings pls dont have sex
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Jul 30, 2016 12:20
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MC Eating Disorder posted:Don't be afraid to try new things, eat out an rear end in a top hat, let someone strap electrodes to your most sensitive areas, give consent to be chloroformrd and penetrated by a taxidermied eel sex is an adventure Pro tip: Eating an rear end is the mildest 'wild' thing you can do. If your face is alll up in that pussy dont be afraid to go south for a while. Basic bitches will applaud you for being crazy, even though you're actually terrible at sex.
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Jul 30, 2016 12:25
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rear end eating is actually at least a mid tier move given that you can't always just eat an rear end you gotta know when the right time is for a bunch of different reasons
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Jul 30, 2016 12:41
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Don't actually just go out an eat an rear end in a top hat out off of the street just cause of my post I refuse to accept responsibility for what may happen to you
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Jul 30, 2016 12:42
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a hole-y ghost posted:I'll give you a tip It's never just a tip
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Jul 30, 2016 12:46
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No, eat all the assholes!
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Jul 30, 2016 12:52
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no kissing alright that'll be extra
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Jul 30, 2016 12:57
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Avoid the vaginal fangs.
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Jul 30, 2016 14:20
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Submitting to post-copulatory cannibalism improves your chances of paternity by as much as 65%.
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Jul 30, 2016 14:24
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Get a running start and slam it in there. 
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Jul 30, 2016 14:27
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if you spell out the letters of the alphabet with your tongue while also speaking the letters of the alphabet as youre sticking it to your old lady, she'll cum and you'll cum too
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Jul 30, 2016 14:30
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lonesomedwarf posted:pepper surprise There was an old actor that was in those old, boring 40s movies and black pepper was his signature thing in the sack. Maybe Cary Grant or someone like that.
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Jul 30, 2016 14:45
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Here's a tip for ya: have some sex.
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Jul 30, 2016 14:46
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Lie on you back and make the woman do all the work
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Jul 30, 2016 14:52
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Hector Beerlioz posted:Lie on you back and make the woman do all the work That's a good one. But no lie, I have fallen asleep doing this before, and it's a real big mood killer.
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Jul 30, 2016 14:54
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The Bananana posted:That's a good one. Well if you fell asleep it must be her fault
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Jul 30, 2016 14:54
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Hector Beerlioz posted:Well if you fell asleep it must be her fault (Well, it was at the end of a very long day, and I was tired... but yeah, yes. I agree with you, Beerlolz. It was her fault. Thanks friend.  )
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Jul 30, 2016 14:57
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yeah i used to date a chuck who was all about being on top 100% of the time and i, being a super lazy rear end in a top hat, was like
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Jul 30, 2016 14:58
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The Bananana posted:(Well, it was at the end of a very long day, and I was tired... but yeah, yes. I agree with you, Beerlolz. It was her fault. Thanks friend. Don't forget to tell her that the moment you fell asleep she was raping you and that she is going to go to jail forever, that will put her in a wild mood and will want to have hot sex again.
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Jul 30, 2016 14:58
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