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Kill victims in their own homes. Before leaving, go to the kitchen and remove any and all dried herbs.
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Aug 21, 2016 13:42
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| # ? May 7, 2024 11:33 |
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gleebster posted:Kill victims in their own homes. Before leaving, go to the kitchen and remove any and all dried herbs. Okay, okay good lets-- I'm glad you're trying-- let's try to step back though and see if theres... literally anything else We could try, besides just... removing dried herbs from their kitchen. 
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Aug 21, 2016 13:46
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gleebster posted:Kill victims in their own homes. Before leaving, go to the kitchen and remove any and all dried herbs. Better yet, add water into the containers. You be the "Rehydrator."
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Aug 21, 2016 13:47
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I dunno, if I was going to go to all that effort, I think my victims would deserve some dignity and creative use of their minor celebrity as a serial killer victim. I would post photos of their dead mutilated corpses on their own facebook pages, change all their social media images to their dead faces, but post photo's do a body job on them like a mortician so any of their freinds and family don't have to pay a funeral home to make them look nice again. Alternatively, hide dangerous chemicals and explosives in their bodies to kill the medical examiners who CSI the body.
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Aug 21, 2016 13:48
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Cut off male and female victims heads and replace them with cantaloupes. Cut off the women's breasts and replace them with grapefruits. Cut off the men's penises and testicles and replace them with a banana and some walnuts. Leave the body parts in the cantaloupe, grapefruit, banana, and walnut sections of the produce area in the grocery store.
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Aug 21, 2016 13:48
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Nigmaetcetera posted:Cut off male and female victims heads and replace them with cantaloupes. Cut off the women's breasts and replace them with grapefruits. Cut off the men's penises and testicles and replace them with a banana and some walnuts. Leave the body parts in the cantaloupe, grapefruit, banana, and walnut sections of the produce area in the grocery store. Sounds fruity! 
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Aug 21, 2016 13:50
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I'd cut my victims open, hollow them out and fill them back up with a variety of tasty pasta salads.
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Aug 21, 2016 14:11
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i'd kill myself next to the victims, that way the cops would think I was a victim as well and then they'd never catch me
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Aug 21, 2016 14:14
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I'd poo poo in a box and sent it to the police after every kill.
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Aug 21, 2016 14:36
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Bob James posted:I'd poo poo in a box and sent it to the police after every kill. Just send your posts. Same thing.
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Aug 21, 2016 14:37
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Blow their brains out, cut off their hand and glue the gun to the stump, jam Betamax tape into vertical slit in abdomen, be known as videodrome killer. If that works out start recreating deaths from other James Woods movies.
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Aug 21, 2016 14:53
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a gbs post requesting my victims suicide
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Aug 21, 2016 14:59
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I would commit my horrible murder streak in the US, travelling across the country and leaving behind printouts of this image: The police would think that the killer was an African-American man with green hair, a purple shirt, blue bow-tie and white gloves. This would lead to a nationwide man hunt. Amidst the ensuing race war, I could simply slip out of the country and prepare my next heinous crimes with nobody the wiser.
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Aug 21, 2016 15:05
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I'd tuck them into bed so they nice and rested.
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Aug 21, 2016 15:05
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I would use the wet-on-wet oil painting technique made famous by Bob Ross to create beautiful seasonal outdoor scenes in 30 minutes or less and at the end sign my signature in the bottom right corner of the painting.
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Aug 21, 2016 15:08
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I would stuff the dead bodies into anime body pillow cases The Weeb Killer
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Aug 21, 2016 16:01
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I'd be the guy who keeps loving up and murdering himself instead
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Aug 21, 2016 16:10
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i would leave boxes of booberry, frankenberry, or count chocula at the scene... the cereal killer strikes again
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Aug 21, 2016 16:13
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Aryu Kiddimeh posted:I'd be the guy who keeps loving up and murdering himself instead You're a monster!
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Aug 21, 2016 16:18
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John Denver Hoxha posted:i would leave boxes of booberry, frankenberry, or count chocula at the scene... the cereal killer strikes again This is good. I like this one.
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Aug 21, 2016 16:22
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I would be too scared to do that, makes it all the easier to get caught. And also makes it harder to inflate your kill count after you get caught.
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Aug 21, 2016 16:24
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I'd grow weed and put a shitload in their house, that way the cops think they're drug dealers and some cartel dude or whatever offed them.
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Aug 21, 2016 16:37
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Woden posted:I'd grow weed and put a shitload in their house, that way the cops think they're drug dealers and some cartel dude or whatever offed them. hey it worked in ohio
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Aug 21, 2016 16:38
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The Bananana posted:Here's another idea if some of you shy folks still need some suggestions: I'll leave a banana on your corpse, fucker!!! Otherwise I think my calling card would be to leave behind sign-up forms for a Wal-Mart Mastercard.
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Aug 21, 2016 16:38
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steamy poo poo on the forehead
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Aug 21, 2016 16:42
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The Goatfather posted:steamy poo poo on the forehead Would that this poo poo were steamy still
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Aug 21, 2016 16:44
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The Goatfather posted:steamy poo poo on the forehead Back in the day you could have actually done this. Stupid dna testing. 
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Aug 21, 2016 16:44
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Replace the victims ringtone with the Macarena, then when the police find the body and are wondering who could have done this, the phone will go off and they'd be like 'oh yeah this rear end in a top hat again'.
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Aug 21, 2016 16:51
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The Bananana posted:Okay, okay good lets-- I'm glad you're trying-- let's try to step back though and see if theres... literally anything else We could try, besides just... removing dried herbs from their kitchen. It's not a bad idea at heart, you just need the right spin. Call the papers after each victim and be all "I want to place a WANTED ad, for a jar of dried basil" and after a while they'll figure out the link and start calling you The Herbivore
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Aug 21, 2016 19:04
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its thyme to kill again only the sage will live it can work
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Aug 21, 2016 19:06
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Some reddit meme so the police would have to do a serious audit of its userbase.
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Aug 21, 2016 19:33
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removing the victim's eyes and replacing them with huge plastic anime eyes
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Aug 21, 2016 19:35
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Large red star on the victim's face
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Aug 21, 2016 19:37
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Really nice toilet paper.
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Aug 21, 2016 19:40
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I'll stuff rags in all the drains of their homes and then leave the water running.
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Aug 21, 2016 19:43
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Gratuitous amounts of potato salad shoved into anal cavities.
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Aug 21, 2016 20:56
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Incitatus posted:Gratuitous amounts of potato salad shoved into anal cavities. That of your victim and yourself?
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Aug 21, 2016 21:59
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There should be a serial killer who ties helium balloons to the corpses of their victims and releases them so they float around for a while then land in wacky places.
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Aug 21, 2016 22:21
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Gently KRS posted:I will become the goatse killer, leaving a Polaroid of me standing over the victim with my rear end stretched open. don't frame me for murder tia
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Aug 21, 2016 22:49
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| # ? May 7, 2024 11:33 |
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Here's my wacky scheme. Get a load of this, I'm going to specifically target the most marginalized and vulnerable people in modern society like sex workers, the homeless, runaway teens, and minorities whose deaths the authorities will not care about, ensuring I can ply my diabolical trade without getting caught.
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Aug 21, 2016 23:12
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