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Even though elections were ruled unconstitutional in 2018 after the Number One Tricky Incident, Glorious Leader Donald Trump has bowed to the WILL OF THE PEOPLE and has decided to hold another one. Unusually, Glorious Leader has demanded that no insults be levied against his opponent, as well as the already-standing rule about not insulting Glorious Leader. THE CANDIDATES Glorious Leader DONALD J TRUMP Winning by the greatest popular vote in history, Donald Trump has revitalized the economy and enjoys the support and love of every citizen, We are all familiar with his Love Agents touring the country to keep morale up, occasionally at gunpoint. Mysterious Handsome Rogue DONALDO J TRUMPITO Appearing from nowhere, this Mexican immigrant has taken the populace by storm. Even the famously-loyal Love Agents have been swayed by his incredible charisma and Glorious Leader himself has admitted that he finds his opponent "incredibly handsome and large-handed" and has even offered to make a political marriage between his lovely daughter and this dashing foreigner. Jeb! who?
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# ? Jan 24, 2017 02:48 |
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# ? Apr 28, 2024 03:41 |
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Nate is shook
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# ? Jan 24, 2017 02:59 |
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The Trumpstaffel is on the watch for voter fraud, and will be monitoring our ballots for sufficient patriotism. And that's a good thing! A very good thing!
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# ? Jan 24, 2017 03:00 |
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Hodgepodge posted:The Trumpstaffel is on the watch for voter fraud, and will be monitoring our ballots for sufficient patriotism. i hear they've already made sure to keep the California Magaprison from voting, good first steps
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# ? Jan 24, 2017 03:09 |
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As a Russian Hacker how does each candidate affect ME?
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# ? Jan 24, 2017 04:14 |
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Waah! No one I like! Stays home. 4 More Years Of Trump!
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# ? Jan 24, 2017 04:27 |
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voting trump don't change horses midstream
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# ? Jan 24, 2017 04:36 |
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*spits on the campfire* "Hey Carlos. What's the date man? Almost feels like November already." Carlos puts down his rifle and removes a tattered journal from his satchel. He flips for a moment before settling on a page. Suddenly he bursts into wild, unhinged laughter. A sound I haven't heard in years. "Good news brother! Good news! It's later than you think, later than you think...tomorrow...tomorrow, tomorrow is ELECTION DAY! I throw my head back and roar along with Carlos. Truly the signs are clear. Tomorrow we march on the Tower.
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# ? Jan 24, 2017 04:43 |
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voting is for sad losers
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# ? Jan 24, 2017 04:46 |
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the black husserl posted:*spits on the campfire* Where you at? I'm comin' to the tower too.
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# ? Jan 24, 2017 04:55 |
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I'm currently commanding a rebel cell linked to a larger revolutionary network ran by the true hero of the people, JEB!
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# ? Jan 24, 2017 05:03 |
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*cautiously pushes tent flap aside* A hulking figure looms over a table piled high with fresh scalps. Some of them have their red hats still attached. The stench of gore is overwhelming. JEB! (snarling): What the gently caress do you want?
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# ? Jan 24, 2017 05:08 |
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the black husserl posted:*cautiously pushes tent flap aside* Jeb! I didn't know you were going to deadpool this!
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# ? Jan 24, 2017 05:10 |
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the black husserl posted:*cautiously pushes tent flap aside* "you're a hard man to find, Jeb!." the gruff general said to the darkness of the woodland cabin, putting unnecessary emphasis on the last word "not hard enough" replied Jeb!, emerging from the shadows still somehow dressed in the same stupid loving campaign outfit
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# ? Jan 24, 2017 09:20 |
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# ? Apr 28, 2024 03:41 |
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Yinlock posted:"you're a hard man to find, Jeb!." the gruff general said to the darkness of the woodland cabin, putting unnecessary emphasis on the last word "Jeb!, I'm not sure how to sugarcoat this so I'm not even going to try. Turtlecom One has spotted increased redhat activity fifty clicks outside base camp-- hell, even that's putting it mildly. It's a red tide. Whatever move you're planning to make, you had better make it fast". Jeb! turns, his shrinking chin doing its best to jut defiantly, to regard the mouldering specter propped up in the corner. "This is it, mom." "Sir?" "Put the message out over all low-energy frequncies" he mutters, almost calmly. "Let's guac and roll". Meanwhile, on the other side of the camp, the man known only as "W" has put his now-empty red Solo cup upside down on his head and improvised a clumsy Hula, causing the men to roar with laughter.
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# ? Jan 24, 2017 18:20 |