Pick posted:

That's a good point, JFK.

Paladinus posted:

I know Americans are not big on the idea of a Catholic president, but drat.

pressedbunny posted:

WHAT

Freudian slippers posted:

Well, thanks for not spoiling it or anything.

Stalin McHitler posted:

Let's not do this "anime does/doesn't equal pedophilia" derail now. They're both wrong

Pick posted:

DNS posted:

Beanpants posted:

"I came here to do two things: toss salad and scramble eggs. And I just ran out of eggs."

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

when is advertising going figure out that sending me free samples works way better than spraying poo into my eyeballs

The MSJ posted:

Alex Ross draws an Archie cover for an alternate reality story where Archie dies.

Mr. Maltose posted:

This is the last thing a hitchhiker sees after being stuck in the trunk of a jalopy for a couple hundred miles.

Neo Helbeast posted:

Superman has a special Krypton Anti Gravity Liver. I never want to know what powers Godzilla's atomic breath.

Xguard86 posted:

He swings by Korea every decade to load up on spice and cabbage.

Phlegmish posted:

I don't get it, wasn't he Irish, they were the ones getting killed by satanic German tribes.

DNS posted:

I want one where a turtles holding a hard-rear end dick... mmm

Duck_King posted:

The RPK-74m owns. One of my favorite LMGs. Here's the data from symthic if you don't believe me.

....................../´¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
..............\.............\...

guppiehaus posted:

Xxxtra hot cjeetos rule

i dont even have any sensation in my rear end in a top hat anymore but that might be all the dick i take and not the blisteringly hot processed corn snacks

reallivedinosaur posted:

The whole idea is to loosen a wire or switch or something so you can turn it off when it's time to beat someone down or gently caress an underage prostitute, or to easily doctor them after the fact.

Source: I used to work for a company that dispatching and record keeping software to cops, and the laptops for their cars, and have seen it done and been asked about ways to do it. And change dates and timestamps on reports, etc.

The funniest was when the IT admin for one of the bigger and richer cities under the LAPD umbrella needed me to retroactively change all the race codes on all the incident reports from 'N' to 'B', because they had hired a black man.

Got out of lots of tickets but all in all it was a lovely job.

Bro Nerd Alpha posted:

Nightswimming posted:

Engorgment ring

BAWRLIN posted:

Does anyone have an old quote from a train engineer going into excruciating detail describing a derailment and what happens to him during it?

B4Ctom1 posted:

Pretty much this. It is hard to explain not just the physics, but the amounts of forces involved.

We use throttle to create stretching or "draft" forces and dynamic braking (think of downhill engine braking in a car) to create bunching or "buff" forces.

To start with, when you are running the train, you are feathering the throttle or dynamic braking to keep "in train forces" at acceptable levels. This is based upon the terrain each part of the train is passing over.

Even small changes in grade, if there are enough of them under the length of the train, are enough to break knuckles, rip out draw bars, or derail cars simply by doing "nothing at all" at the wrong time.

In these situations heavier applications of power or dynamic brake are required to keep these "in train forces" down.

Think of a large sliced loaf of bread. I take the wrapper off of it and ask you to carry it across the room. One hand on each end should suffice. A small amount of pressure to keep the bread from being crushed and across the room you go.

The knuckle and drawbar connections between the cars seem very strong to the layman, but when compared to the amount of weight of loaded freight cars, and all of the cars behind them piled upon it, it may as well be dental floss.

You can break dental floss easily, but the difference is that it is hard to "crush" dental floss.

The poster I have quoted above is addressing something we call "train make up". THe "in train forces" can be additionally effected by the way cars or groups of cars are placed in the train. Long cars next to short cars, loads next to empties.

Generally freight trains that are not hauling a bulk of the same commodity are mixed freight. A bulk commodity train would be an entire train of wheat or coal. These trains are very heavy, and have their own set of problems, but in general do not have any issue of train make up because all of the cars are generally the same weight and type. Mixed freight trains are the most common types of trains on the main rail thoroughfares.

A mixed freight train I haul might have 25 heavy loaded lumber cars, 15 empty or loaded auto racks, 20 empty or loaded tank cars of various lengths, 30 empty or loaded covered hopper cars of various lengths, and 30 loaded or empty boxcars of two different lengths.

So for this example train of 120 cars. Lets say it weighs 7900 tons and is 9000 feet (2.75KM) long.

I am traveling along at 50 MPH.

The "head end" of the train has passed the bottom of the grade and the train is still descending the grade. As about half of the train leaves the grade I am looking ahead at the next grade to climb directly ahead. I have been using dynamic brake and need to "transition" from braking to power. I move the lever into the idle position and begin waiting my 10 seconds. In my my mind, from experience, I know that I need to rapidly, but gently begin notching through my power notches without allowing my train to accelerate past 50 MPH which I am restricted to.

The very head of the train is traveling around a slight curvature in the track. I also need to see that the next signal is green "clear" so that I do not have to formulate an entire other plan as a reduction of speed might be required instead. I see that the signal is flashing yellow "advanced approach". This will mean a reduction of speed to 40 MPH and a possible stop short of the second signal ahead.

As I am thinking of what I am to do next and waiting for the 10 seconds to pass, the next crossing becomes visible and I see that there is a truck hauling a low slung trailer with a heavy piece of equipment on it. He is blocking the crossing because his low slung trailer is stuck on the raised rail and crossing lumber that you drive across.

Without hesitation or further consideration, I slam the brake handle into the emergency position, dumping all the trainline air. I reach up and toggle the switch that ensures that the "End Of Train" device dumps from the rear as well. I bail off the locomotive air brakes because they are so powerful in a situation like this, that they can cause such a massive buff forces which will certainly derail a train. Additionally they can crumple or destroy the track beneath them.

While in earlier transition from dynamic braking to power "slack" had developed in the train. Slack is neither draft or buff, but more of a null position like rail cars standing in a yard not connected to a train. A developed space between cars where they are sort of relaxed.

As the air dumped from the train-line, the brake valves on each car sense this emergency and dump the full value of air contained within their emergency reservoir into the large cylinder that applies the brakes giving each car higher than usual stopping power.

Somewhere near the head end of the train a group of empty tank cars having such massive braking power begin to stop the train, but right behind them a group of heavy loaded hoppers presses against them, their own braking being less substantial. A tank car of Anhydrous Ammonia right between the groups which has been taking the brunt of these two opposing forces has a wheel that lifts off the rail as it is being pressed around a curve. This car, the car ahead of it, and nine of the loaded hopper cars behind it all leave the rail and head into a tiny quiet suburb in the middle of the night.

Half way back in the train where the most of the box cars are, they settle down for their stop. Still bunched because they were still descending the hill. The heavy loads of lumber fighting them as they come to a stop. Even though on straight track the, one end of an empty boxcar in the group begins to lift into the air. The opposing force of the heavy lumber cars and the stopping train ahead of it is too much. As it sets back down the wheels miss the track and begin to erase the track, all of the cars behind it having no track to ride on begin to take paths of their own in each direction.

Near the back of the train the auto-rack settle down hard. Harder than the group of heavy lumber cars ahead of them. This causes one of the long 500+ pound (230kg) draw-bars in the third auto-rack to be sheared from place. For a moment it tumbles through space, whistling though the wind in contact with only the air. Then it strikes a tie and the car passing above it in vaulted, only inches off of the rail, and a carload of new rangerovers tumbles end over end into a reservoir of drinking water.

The drawbar is angry, propelled by its last impact it drops onto the rail for a moment derailing a load of mini coopers, a load of corvettes, a load of ford diesel pickups, and a load of prius. The last of the autoracks ram into those derailed and the drawbar impales itself through the bottom of a boxcar piercing 20 cases of aged Glenfiddich.

Back on the locomotive, pressed forward by the loads behind, we cover the half mile to the stuck trailer in about 45 seconds. My conductor sees that the piece of equipment is a D9 Caterpillar bulldozer and screams like a woman as he jumps from his window at 35 mph. The fall from 15 feet in the air certainly would have killed him but instead he tumbled and struck feet first shattering his legs in 20 places and cartwheeling to his death as his head exploded when it struck the hard granite ballast some 20 times or so in the cartwheeling tumble. It takes 24 hours for them to find his body under crumpled boxcars.

I run out the back door to the second locomotive where I lay down in the cab. The impact at 35 mph is brutal. The second locomotive which I am on climbs under the front locomotive. The third locomotive does the same to mine. When the locomotive comes to a rest, is on its side, and both my arms are broken.

I drown, face down, in 200 gallons of brownish, blueish sewage from a chemical toilet long overdue for a cleaning. But my dignity is preserved because a fire from the combined 12,000 gallons (45.5 Kiloliters) of fuel burns for 3 days incinerating me and most of the locomotives completely.

The undocumented worker driving the truck with the wedged trailer disappears.

During the conductor's autopsy, trace amounts of THC from a brownie he consumed 3 weeks earlier while on vacation in Amsterdam are found to be the cause of the accident.

It was also noted in the government report that the cellphone of an engineer on a different train following ours was "on" at the time of our impact, and this may have contributed to the wreck.

socilest butthomo posted:

Here it is.

socilest butthomo posted:

Here it is.

Volume posted:

Holy poo poo those last two lines are depressing.

escape artist posted:

So here's a fun fact: I WAS writing a book with a man who was a meth kingpin. His teacher's teacher was the man who invented the blue meth. He was actually a college professor, not a high school teacher. He (the blue meth innovator) died in 2006, 2 years before his life was turned into a billion dollar franchise. Sadly, the book fell through, because working with someone who smokes meth regularly is as difficult, if not worse, than you can imagine, and I could only tolerate so much.

escape artist posted:

I've never done meth in my life, nor will I. I don't care if you believe me or not. The book deal fell through, but we went to multiple lawyers to see how much we could reference Breaking Bad without any legal recourse. I could disprove you, but I'd rather not associate with any of those loving psychos again.

escape artist posted:

Actually they obfuscate the real process, for legal reasons. We couldn't post the entire formula for legal reasons, either. The Efidac base is what makes it blue.

But you know, hey, let's be douche bags instead when we could have an interesting conversation!

escape artist posted:

Sorry you're so goddamn jaded that you can't enjoy a story. Also, it's pretty cool how you quoted something I never once said.

Jackass. People beg me via PMs to continue posting in this forum because it's gone to poo poo. You know why? Because of people like you.

anne frank fanfic posted:

i wrote a book with the dude who invented the stuff in the briefcase that shines when people open it. what? you thought that was a narrative device? ive been to lawyers dude, i dont even care if you believe me

Deteriorata posted:

If I stick to about 1200 Calories per day of beer and pizza I will not gain weight. And those two substances would provide a pretty broad spectrum of vitamins, minerals, and amino acids so I'd be pretty healthy, too.

...of SCIENCE! posted:

Say Nothing posted:

Make up your own pun.

Hiro Protagonist posted:

Of course, it's the Muslim princess who gets stoned.

Skrill.exe posted:

Anime and pedophilia, despite the cause/effect relationship, are both wrong.

Invisble Manuel posted:

Denmark's Fromandskorpset

cobalt impurity posted:

Christ, I'd hate to see the bees those guys have to deal with.

Macasaurus posted:

Acquire Currency! posted:

Settlers of Futon

Hat Thoughts posted:

I think it's funny

Aericura posted:

NoneMoreNegative posted:

porkour

Darth123123 posted:

Can someone post that one about driving to work on govt roads, safe cars, standardized time, etc. I need to use it and will save it this time!

Tight Booty Shorts posted:

Goons and their food.

PleasingFungus posted:

Does anyone have the quote about two men sitting on a bench at an old folks' home, one of whom lived their life having EXPERIENCES and ADVENTURES, and the other one who lived his life getting as swole as possible?