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Rhyno posted:Man this poo poo is going around. My three closest friends are having major turmoil in their relationships and it's driving a small wedge. One is married to a woman who is about to be a doctor and he suddenly feels like his balls have been cut off. The second is married to a woman that cheated on him, lost a goldilocks job and now can't even hold down a retail gig. The third is engaged to a girl who wants to go back to her party roots and he just wants to chill at home. I think us buying the swanky new house is a sticking point as they all have voiced that they aren't all that thrilled with their own living situations in the last year. Oh and all three are previously divorced, I'm the only one who never got hitched early in life. the first guy sounds like an insecure moron baby fyi
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Sep 28, 2020 14:02
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KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:the first guy sounds like an insecure moron baby fyi Yeah it's a recent development. He's a mess lately. Divorced, one kid from that marriage, his new wife has one from a previous relationship, they have a third together AND he is still taking care of his ex wife's first child because she's a goddamn monster and threw her own kid out when he announced he was trans. So aside from his dumb issue he's a good dude and the best dad I know. He just needs to be less dumb about who is making the money. Edit: His ex wifes kid I have known since like 5 years old. And I apologize in advance if I mess up the transition pronouns, I don't know quite how to put it in reference to before and after.
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Sep 28, 2020 14:05
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please dear lord give me the problem of my wife making more money than me. in all seriousness that sucks, though, there are a lot of extremely toxic concepts around Being The Breadwinner. not trans but I believe that the preference is to refer to someone by the pronouns they have chosen, so if they are FtM you would write it as you did.
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Sep 28, 2020 14:30
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My wife got promoted again and went from making slightly more than me to a lot more than me, and the only part I'm not really okay with is holy poo poo let her team take some PTO and maybe stop working 12+ hour days since the pandemic started. Management calls apparently are on the weekends too. This would all seem more reasonable if not also handling a toddler. `
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Sep 28, 2020 14:37
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I too would be completely fine being a kept man.
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Sep 28, 2020 14:39
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Olympic Mathlete posted:I too would be completely fine being a kept man. Same. If things continue for my wife as they have been I can probably retire at 50.
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Sep 28, 2020 14:42
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Rhyno posted:Yeah it's a recent development. He's a mess lately. Divorced, one kid from that marriage, his new wife has one from a previous relationship, they have a third together AND he is still taking care of his ex wife's first child because she's a goddamn monster and threw her own kid out when he announced he was trans. So aside from his dumb issue he's a good dude and the best dad I know. He just needs to be less dumb about who is making the money. Basically deadname and previous gender do not get used for any reason unless they tell you to. The only thing I'm not really sure about is telling old stories from pre transition, I should have asked my bro what the preferred practice is 20 minutes ago. I try to avoid it right now, especially if it's a story I haven't thought about in a long time and I think I might screw it up.
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Sep 28, 2020 14:44
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KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:i mean on the other hand if your friend is going through some poo poo maybe don't be a dick to them For context, he was upset (unknown to us at the time) that we were joking about the hotel we all work at being sold and the possibility of the new owners tearing it all down (It's old) and starting over. He was convinced we were joking about it because "we all know how important his job is to him" and "how would you like it if I joked about your house being destroyed by a hurricane". And we didn't even know he was mad about it until months of radio silence and him avoiding us, moping because he MIGHT lose his job. He's still working btw, and the new owners have no plans to change anything  So I don't know, I told him that if he didn't like the joke all he had to do was say so and we would have dropped it and his answer was "I shouldn't have to tell you that you should have known" so.......I give up 
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Sep 28, 2020 14:49
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I know we have a few trans posters, i will await what they say. My friend's son transitioned a few years ago but I knew him as a young child and i still stumble on it. He made the naming easy on everyone and shortened his prior name to a male version. Great kid, his mom is a horror show. My friend finished the basement and built a bedroom down there so his step son had a safe place to stay away from his mom. I hope he can get over his bread winner issues, he deserves a break and doesn't seem to realize it's on the horizon.
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Sep 28, 2020 14:52
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My wife earns a fair bit more than me but it makes no difference as our finances are joined, it's all our money
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Sep 28, 2020 14:57
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Insecurity is a bitch
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Sep 28, 2020 14:59
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For sure. I supported us while my wife was in school but as soon as she started making good money I was so relieved. And now we both have good income and our finances are all joint so there's even less stress.
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Sep 28, 2020 15:23
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My wife is making more money now than she ever has, and I can't work right now so it's great actually, I can't imagine having a problem with it
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Sep 28, 2020 15:39
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Some guys just have smol peener
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Sep 28, 2020 15:40
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Applebees Appetizer posted:For context, he was upset (unknown to us at the time) that we were joking about the hotel we all work at being sold and the possibility of the new owners tearing it all down (It's old) and starting over. He was convinced we were joking about it because "we all know how important his job is to him" and "how would you like it if I joked about your house being destroyed by a hurricane". oh yeah he's bein a baby then
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Sep 28, 2020 16:04
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A reminder: We are all under remarkable stress. This is going to manifest in myriad ways, including excess assholeishness, less patience, withdrawal, etc. Be mindful of this in yourself and others. I've had multiple friends' marriages implode during this bullshit, try to be kind. In other news, my wife makes way more than me. There's definitely a societal stigma to that, but it doesn't bother me. I add value to the relationship in different ways. It works for us, so welp. In other, other news, my cabinets are slowly coming together. You can see the speaker grille in the top center. Still need to sort that out, but it's getting there. Need hardware and to paint the back of the bookshelves and TV area in a color to match the speaker grille cloth. 
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Sep 28, 2020 16:22
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meatpimp posted:In other news, my wife makes way more than me. There's definitely a societal stigma to that, but it doesn't bother me. I add value to the relationship in different ways. It works for us, so welp. That's actually a very good point that I hadn't considered (in depth) before. Running a modern family is hard loving work, and changing the diapers is just as important as bringing home the dosh, regardless of who does it. That looks schwank as gently caress.
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Sep 28, 2020 16:28
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meatpimp posted:A reminder: We are all under remarkable stress. This is going to manifest in myriad ways, including excess assholeishness, less patience, withdrawal, etc. Be mindful of this in yourself and others. Oh trust me, we were well aware of this and it's the reason another friend and I decided to talk to him about it in person, but he's refusing to take any responsibility for it at all and that's what irks me about the whole situation. His reasoning was basically "I know you guys did it to hurt me I don't care what you say" and as a good friend of over 8 years I'm disappointed he took that kind of a stance rather than taking some of the responsibility and just moving on from it Applebees Appetizer fucked around with this message at 16:36 on Sep 28, 2020 |
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Sep 28, 2020 16:32
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meatpimp posted:A reminder: We are all under remarkable stress. This is going to manifest in myriad ways, including excess assholeishness, less patience, withdrawal, etc. Be mindful of this in yourself and others. this looks very good but it appears your TV is too small
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Sep 28, 2020 16:38
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KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:this looks very good but it appears your TV is too small It's a placeholder. That's 65", I sized the piece for 85". Once I got the 65" up, I'm debating on whether the 85" would be too big aesthetically. I know 75" would be fine, but maybe 82"?
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Sep 28, 2020 16:55
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meatpimp posted:A reminder: We are all under remarkable stress. This is going to manifest in myriad ways, including excess assholeishness, less patience, withdrawal, etc. Be mindful of this in yourself and others. I was getting ready to add that! Great point. That TV center looks fantastic.
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Sep 28, 2020 16:56
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Speaking of home projects, I get to remove tile from terrazzo from over half of the floor of my house, yay? My back hurts already just thinking about it 
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Sep 28, 2020 17:02
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Applebees Appetizer posted:Speaking of home projects, I get to remove tile from terrazzo from over half of the floor of my house, yay? I bought a harbor freight sds max demolition hammer last week to sink some ground rods. I needed to do 15 of them to start. I can normally do 3 in a day with a post driver and sledge before I am done. With the hammer I had them all done within an hour. How were you planing on doing it? Trying to go back to the terrazzo?
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Sep 28, 2020 17:33
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my wife is almost the breadwinner now that i'm collecting unemployment
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Sep 28, 2020 17:34
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rdb posted:I bought a harbor freight sds max demolition hammer last week to sink some ground rods. I needed to do 15 of them to start. I can normally do 3 in a day with a post driver and sledge before I am done. With the hammer I had them all done within an hour. Gonna use a big hammer drill with scraper attachment. Actually gonna re do the whole house in waterproof vinyl and wanted it all completely level, coulda just went over the tile and used transition strips but gently caress it I'm gonna do it right. The tile comes up easy enough so why not. Would love to restore the terrazzo but unfortunately the colors they used are ugly as hell and the wife hates it. Too bad because a nice polished terrazzo floor with neutral colors is a thing of beauty.
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Sep 28, 2020 17:59
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Just found out friend/coworker’s house burned down yesterday. God, gently caress 2020.
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Sep 28, 2020 19:03
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meatpimp posted:It's a placeholder. That's 65", I sized the piece for 85". Once I got the 65" up, I'm debating on whether the 85" would be too big aesthetically. I know 75" would be fine, but maybe 82"? haha yesss
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Sep 28, 2020 19:32
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rdb posted:I bought a harbor freight sds max demolition hammer last week to sink some ground rods. I needed to do 15 of them to start. I can normally do 3 in a day with a post driver and sledge before I am done. With the hammer I had them all done within an hour. I got a rotary hammer on eBay as a refurb years ago and I can't believe I lived without it. With a ground rod attachment it's amazing.
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Sep 28, 2020 19:41
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Rhyno posted:For sure. I supported us while my wife was in school but as soon as she started making good money I was so relieved. And now we both have good income and our finances are all joint so there's even less stress. Also kept man checking in. But, there is some societal poo poo about it. Depending on parents, other friends, etc - guy may be getting his proverbial balls busted. lovely time to be in the "friend needs a drink and a night out", but yeah. Be there for friends moreso now than ever, if you can. But, we've all got our battles, and only so much energy.
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Sep 28, 2020 19:56
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meatpimp posted:It's a placeholder. That's 65", I sized the piece for 85". Once I got the 65" up, I'm debating on whether the 85" would be too big aesthetically. I know 75" would be fine, but maybe 82"? How far away is the seating? Most people these days tend to size up and with more and more high resolution content it makes sense to unless you're sat point blank. I've got a 65" in the office at work (as well as a 55") and it's about 9' away optimally viewing wise to not have to physically crank your neck to see everything.
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Sep 28, 2020 19:59
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Mrs. and I are very similar in take home and 10000% comfortable with that. It actually works out well since nobody, in the middle of a big argument, can really pull out the $$ card (would literally never happen anyhow). Now solidly in my mid 40s and being financially secure with zero debts is such a god drat good feeling I never want to get into debt again and highly recommend it for everyone... might be why I get a little over zealous with financial "advice" when it comes up from time to time. Knowing that both of us are in a position that if something drastic happens at work or if either of us want to take a piss on the bosses desk, we can and it's not going to financially ruin us. slidebite fucked around with this message at 20:07 on Sep 28, 2020 |
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Sep 28, 2020 20:04
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Humphreys posted:
Will it run Doom?
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Sep 28, 2020 20:05
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Siochain posted:Also kept man checking in. But, there is some societal poo poo about it. Depending on parents, other friends, etc - guy may be getting his proverbial balls busted. My new supervisor at work was giving me poo poo about it and I pointed out he's already older than I will be when I retire and he shut the gently caress up right quick. Edit: I just finished putting all new locks on the house, including a cool smart lock thing. This was way easier this time around than at the last house.
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Sep 28, 2020 20:12
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Rhyno posted:My new supervisor at work was giving me poo poo about it and I pointed out he's already older than I will be when I retire and he shut the gently caress up right quick. Lol gently caress yes. I don't get people who care. Mostly around here its guys jealous about it hahah. Amusingly, my entire friend cohort from high school is in exactly the same boat - all of us married women with strong, well paid careers. Another 10'ish years, I could afford to not work at all. Not likely going to, because we'd have a lovely retirement, but we could do it.
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Sep 28, 2020 20:14
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StormDrain posted:Remember when.... The benchmark for a badass computer was playing Far Cry on max? Must have been about when I stopped giving a poo poo bit also I caught the words ahead of the story and thought you booted it up as a benchmark. Ether Frenzy posted:It's still the benchmark. It makes modern killer rigs stutter in some parts, lol. MS Flight Sim on max settings is the new Far Cry hardware killer, from what I hear. KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:please dear lord give me the problem of my wife making more money than me. in all seriousness that sucks, though, there are a lot of extremely toxic concepts around Being The Breadwinner. Oh, Lord, this. I could be *such* a good house-husband. quote:not trans but I believe that the preference is to refer to someone by the pronouns they have chosen, so if they are FtM you would write it as you did. That's my understanding as well. To a lot of transitioned/ing folks, their "former self" is dead. kastein posted:Basically deadname and previous gender do not get used for any reason unless they tell you to. The only thing I'm not really sure about is telling old stories from pre transition, I should have asked my bro what the preferred practice is 20 minutes ago. I try to avoid it right now, especially if it's a story I haven't thought about in a long time and I think I might screw it up. Yeah, I'm not sure how to handle the stories, particularly when I and the trans person I know have been friends for years, since way before their change, and the people we're talking to aren't aware of their status. meatpimp posted:A reminder: We are all under remarkable stress. This is going to manifest in myriad ways, including excess assholeishness, less patience, withdrawal, etc. Be mindful of this in yourself and others. To be fair, that's usually indicative of other underlying issues, typically masked by the two parties not having to spend much time together due to jobs and such, a cushion that has been removed with the pandemic, WFH, etc. quote:Your shelves look great!
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Sep 28, 2020 20:14
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kastein posted:Basically deadname and previous gender do not get used for any reason unless they tell you to. The only thing I'm not really sure about is telling old stories from pre transition, I should have asked my bro what the preferred practice is 20 minutes ago. I try to avoid it right now, especially if it's a story I haven't thought about in a long time and I think I might screw it up. I ran into this in school, there was no guidance in the manual of style on how to on how to handle deadnames. Which is really annoying with academic citations, when you are trying to find all works of an author. And their current guidance is "ask".
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Sep 28, 2020 21:06
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flight sim is pretty CPU limited at 1440 i believe
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Sep 28, 2020 21:09
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Siochain posted:Lol gently caress yes. Funny, the guy I just mentioned being butt hurt about a joke would bust my balls about my wife supporting my family, and the other guys would join in but I didn't care because I would just point out that none of them would dare make the same sexist woman-should-be-cleaning-not-the-man jokes in front of their wives Also I frequently point out that I'm OCD about cleaning and enjoy cooking so I did it all the time when I was working anyway 
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Sep 28, 2020 21:36
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KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:flight sim is pretty CPU limited at 1440 i believe I run it on a 3440x1440 with a 9900k / 1080ti on max and it is almost always shows as gpu limited in developers mode.
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Sep 28, 2020 21:42
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MomJeans420 posted:
I told my GF it was like dating as a teenager again She also earns more than me, and IDGAF.
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Sep 28, 2020 22:45
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