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actually probably not that carefully
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Dec 16, 2014 00:17
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Secks Cauldron posted:Poop-smithing is a noble profession. It's also profession that was so lovely, the gong farmers were not allowed to live inside town.
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Dec 16, 2014 00:20
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Why not have two moats?
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Dec 16, 2014 00:21
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Instead of loving with even one moat a lot of castles were built on a really steep hill, sometimes man made, and the end result is basically the same thing but you don't have to gently caress with water. e: or do something like Ferrara and instead of having the moat around your castle you could have one around your entire city. 
Robo Reagan fucked around with this message at 00:35 on Dec 16, 2014 |
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Dec 16, 2014 00:31
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Robo Reagan posted:Instead of loving with even one moat a lot of castles were built on a really steep hill, sometimes man made, and the end result is basically the same thing but you don't have to gently caress with water. A cool note is even though the moat no longer exists, Ferrara still has the original walls around the city. It's a pretty neat well preserved example of trace italienne type fortifications.
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Dec 16, 2014 00:37
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I filled mine with pixels and called it an E-moat
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Dec 16, 2014 01:40
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Robo Reagan posted:Instead of loving with even one moat a lot of castles were built on a really steep hill, sometimes man made, and the end result is basically the same thing but you don't have to gently caress with water. #citadel
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Dec 16, 2014 01:42
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Quickscope420dad posted:moats were pre-existing natural phenomena and were utilized for strategic fort and castle placement, OP
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Dec 16, 2014 02:37
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You know how when you have a really bad illness your poop comes out as brown water? Well, back then everyone had this condition always. That is how they filled the moats.
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Dec 16, 2014 03:14
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Ave Azaria posted:remember this next time some scientist or historian tries to tell you people in the past were just as smart as people today. That's bullshit, people were loving idiots yo i poop on your head from the shoulders of giants
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Dec 16, 2014 03:16
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I've never seen a moat at a Medieval Times
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Dec 16, 2014 03:17
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Here's the easiest way I know how to explain it, OP.
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Dec 16, 2014 03:49
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This was an informative thread that still allowed for many poop jokes. Goldmine this poo poo
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Dec 16, 2014 04:20
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in some places in the world, bat poop (aka gauno) is harvested (or "mined") for sale as fuel literally, a goldmine of poo poo!
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Dec 16, 2014 04:21
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e: not literally, figuratively
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Dec 16, 2014 04:21
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nomadologique posted:in some places in the world, bat poop (aka gauno) is harvested (or "mined") for sale as fuel Pecunia non olet
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Dec 16, 2014 04:41
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Secks Cauldron posted:Poop-smithing is a noble profession. What? No it wasn't, it was for serfs. I don't think you know what you're talking about, at all.
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Dec 16, 2014 04:57
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Ave Azaria posted:remember this next time some scientist or historian tries to tell you people in the past were just as smart as people today. That's bullshit, people were loving idiots Not stupid, just inexperienced. It's kind of difficult to set up a drainage system that will be adequate to the task of cleaning out a moat when maybe one guy on the team can do math without counting on his fingers, and your measuring instruments are made out of sticks and such. If we wanted to build a working moat today (without using things like pumps and such) we could do a better job, simply because we can see how all those guys back then screwed up. Engineering is based on improving upon past failures as much as clever calculation and planning.
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Dec 16, 2014 06:14
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dog buttz posted:Did soldiers actually wear armor back then? Cause if they did, a moat would be deadly. if they didn't, it seems like it would be an inconvenience. Either way, just dig a deep and wide trench around your castle. keep some flaming poo poo for bridges they throw across. I think there's a video out there proving you can swim in full plate armor... a big set was only like 45 lbs, so while incredibly tiring and lovely its certainly not impossible to swim in (apparently, I've never done it).
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Dec 16, 2014 11:09
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pretty sure the average goon could not swim while wearing full plate armor
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Dec 16, 2014 12:33
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Security Drone posted:I think there's a video out there proving you can swim in full plate armor... a big set was only like 45 lbs, so while incredibly tiring and lovely its certainly not impossible to swim in (apparently, I've never done it). Remember that after swimming you would still have to climb a wall and then fight dudes on top of it.
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Dec 16, 2014 12:40
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Kanthulhu posted:Remember that after swimming you would still have to climb a wall and then fight dudes on top of it. And I'm going to be wet and covered in burning oil? Forget this. I'm going home to play Elder Scrolls Online.
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Dec 16, 2014 13:08
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Zeno-25 posted:Grains keep for years if they stay dry. You can preserve meat for a few years with enough salt and the right microbes, think prosciutto and salami. And things like live animals and fresh eggs and milk don't need to be refrigerated.
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Dec 16, 2014 13:21
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burritolingus posted:And things like live animals and fresh eggs and milk don't need to be refrigerated. That's because cows and chickens have built in fridges. If you ram a can of beer up a chicken and wait 30mins it comes out perfectly chilled.
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Dec 16, 2014 14:13
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Castles were just like old-timey rave clubs in abandoned warehouses, and moats were just the Port-a-johns.
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Dec 16, 2014 14:35
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LordArgh posted:pretty sure the average goon could not swim while wearing full plate armor fat floats
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Dec 16, 2014 16:01
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somewhat carefully
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Dec 16, 2014 21:42
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Suicide Sam E. posted:And I'm going to be wet and covered in burning oil? they're throwing rocks and poo poo and whatever garbage they've got on hand down on your head the whole time, too dicks
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Dec 16, 2014 21:47
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WanderingMinstrel I posted:People are still idiots though? people in the old days were so retarded, they didnt even know about not making GBS threads everywhere. now id love to stay and chat but ive got a crystal healing session with swami durukchena at the wellness center in fifteen.
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Dec 16, 2014 22:13
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well they did dump corpses right in with the drinking water and I didn't even have to learn about microbes and bacteria and poo poo to know that's a loving retarded disposal system so yeah idk about people a few hundred years ago I just chalk it up to europeans being stupid as gently caress for a few hundred years there in between the renaissance and the greeks/romans
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Dec 16, 2014 22:18
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paranoid randroid posted:people in the old days were so retarded, they didnt even know about not making GBS threads everywhere. now id love to stay and chat but ive got a crystal healing session with swami durukchena at the wellness center in fifteen. whoa i need my jo crystal recharged too
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Dec 16, 2014 22:23
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you just dig a ditch around yer castle then desginate it as a pond. with an ample supply of buckets the moat will fill itself
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Dec 16, 2014 23:15
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gggiiimmmppp posted:fat floats since goons are shaped like pears they'll float head down though Security Drone posted:I think there's a video out there proving you can swim in full plate armor... a big set was only like 45 lbs, so while incredibly tiring and lovely its certainly not impossible to swim in (apparently, I've never done it). poo poo, only 45 lbs? Video games and movies have seriously messed up my perception of history I guess. flick my Mr. Bean fucked around with this message at 23:33 on Dec 16, 2014 |
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Dec 16, 2014 23:31
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Gay Hitler posted:you just dig a ditch around yer castle then desginate it as a pond. with an ample supply of buckets the moat will fill itself
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Dec 16, 2014 23:35
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with skill and ingenuity?
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Dec 16, 2014 23:53
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Ekster posted:with skill and ingenuity? everyone was retarded back then, try to keep up
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Dec 17, 2014 00:01
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Gay Hitler posted:you just dig a ditch around yer castle then desginate it as a pond. with an ample supply of buckets the moat will fill itself if your moat is big enough and the water is far away enough it might evaporate just as fast as the serfs dump it in though
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Dec 17, 2014 00:08
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dog buttz posted:since goons are shaped like pears they'll float head down though 45 pounds isn't that heavy to pick up in weight form, but try running and fighting with it wrapped around you.
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Dec 17, 2014 01:18
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The X-man cometh posted:45 pounds isn't that heavy to pick up in weight form, but try running and fighting with it wrapped around you. The Something Awful Forums
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Dec 17, 2014 01:20
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Hahah
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Dec 17, 2014 01:33
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