the elder scrolls online was a steaming turd

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Imp Zone > the elder scrolls online was a steaming turd

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Davincie: Jul 7, 2008

Smarmy Coworker posted:

i like todd but i also like to poo poo on him

a weird relationship i know

its called being tsundere

# ? Feb 16, 2014 15:47

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# ? May 25, 2024 16:14

tankadillo: Aug 15, 2006

Nonsense posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaiPSrCJK8o

this feels like a clip from the office or something

# ? Feb 16, 2014 15:53

GreatGreen: Jul 3, 2007; That's not what gaslighting means you hyperbolic dipshit.

rainy day posted:

the only thing this has in common with tes games is the lore which is a terrible reason to buy a game since tes lore is boring as poo poo and apparently they even hosed that up

Actually TES has some seriously kick rear end lore. The whole universe including afterlife realms and whatever else are incredibly thoroughly and vividly detailed, and there's all kinds of interesting characters, sociopolitical poo poo happening, subterfuge, and greek tragedy level stuff that goes on all the time. Hell the universe even has Chim.

The problem is that there has never been an Elder Scrolls game that has even remotely come close to being as good as the lore, Morrowind included.

Basically the Elder Scrolls series has Warhammer 40K Syndrome.

GreatGreen fucked around with this message at 21:25 on Feb 17, 2014

# ? Feb 17, 2014 20:53

rainy day: Jul 20, 2009; by Ralp

GreatGreen posted:

Actually TES has some seriously kick rear end lore. The whole universe including afterlife realms and whatever else are incredibly thoroughly and vividly detailed, and there's all kinds of interesting characters, sociopolitical poo poo happening, subterfuge, and greek tragedy level stuff that goes on all the time. Hell the universe even has Chim.

The problem is that there has never been an Elder Scrolls game that has even remotely come close to being as good as the lore, Morrowind included.

tes lore is really good. for a videogame. also you're right in that its basically not in any of the games so i guess its not actually videogame lore

# ? Feb 17, 2014 20:59

GROVER CURES HOUSE: Aug 26, 2007; Go on...

GreatGreen posted:

Actually TES has some seriously kick rear end lore. The whole universe including afterlife realms and whatever else are incredibly thoroughly and vividly detailed, and there's all kinds of interesting characters, sociopolitical poo poo happening, subterfuge, and greek tragedy level stuff that goes on all the time. Hell the universe even has Chim.

The problem is that there has never been an Elder Scrolls game that has even remotely come close to being as good as the lore, Morrowind included.

skyrim: hey lets hire a bunch of good writers to write us an epic and then get some unpaid interns to write the dialogue and quest lines

we can hire another voice actor with the money saved!!

# ? Feb 17, 2014 21:14

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

GROVER CURES HOUSE posted:

skyrim: hey lets hire a bunch of good writers to write us an epic and then get some unpaid interns to write the dialogue and quest lines

we can hire another voice actor with the money saved!!

The Elder Scrools: let's blow the whole acting budget on two famous people who each voice one peripheral character so that way we're hamstrung into using three other people to record lines for all of the other NPC's in the game.

# ? Feb 18, 2014 19:37

Fried Watermelon: Dec 29, 2008

Is there a "Lusty Argonian Maid" questline?

# ? Feb 18, 2014 19:56

Wrestlepig: Feb 25, 2011; my mum says im cool; Toilet Rascal

Fried Watermelon posted:

Is there a "Lusty Argonian Maid" questline?

you meet the author in morrowind iirc

# ? Feb 18, 2014 21:47

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Fried Watermelon posted:

Is there a "Lusty Argonian Maid" questline?

You actually meet the lusty Argonian maid. There are no loaves of bread nearby, and you must supply your own.

# ? Feb 18, 2014 21:55

The Protagonist: Jun 29, 2009; The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

Has there ever been another example of the triplefuck full priced upfront, monthly sub with cash shop from day one mmo? Quadruplefuck if lifetime sub is an option?

Those poor, poor gamers. An exploited minority.

# ? Feb 18, 2014 22:00

rainy day: Jul 20, 2009; by Ralp

lol apparently broteam got banned from twitch for streaming (and making fun of) eso even though the NDA is no longer in effect.

# ? Feb 19, 2014 06:34

Nonsense: Jan 26, 2007

twitched banned my friend for posting a drawing of zeus's dick on his stream

# ? Feb 19, 2014 06:36

Dredrum: Nov 21, 2013; Shoot to kill!

Dexters Secret posted:

elder scrolls combat has been historically terrible. but it oozes charm, puts you in a bigass world to explore, has a lot of hilarious glitches, and makes you feel important

so naturally bethesda decided this was the perfect game for an MMO because it's.. literally the opposite of their games?

God! Elder Scrolls combat is so retarded. I've never been able to finish an elder scrolls game... I mean had great story, heaps of side quest blah blah blah but drat I need some great combat to keep me hooked.

# ? Feb 19, 2014 20:48

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Dredrum posted:

God! Elder Scrolls combat is so retarded. I've never been able to finish an elder scrolls game... I mean had great story, heaps of side quest blah blah blah but drat I need some great combat to keep me hooked.

I'm nerding myself but I liked the combat in Neverwinter Nights.

# ? Feb 19, 2014 20:56

01011001: Dec 26, 2012

Crazy Ted posted:

I'm nerding myself but I liked the combat in Neverwinter Nights.

im a huge fan of "click target, sit back for awhile as you lob misses at each other every 6 seconds because you only control one guy" too

# ? Feb 19, 2014 20:58

Oil of Paris: Feb 13, 2004; 100% DIRTY; Nap Ghost

Lol if your dagger doesn't hit at 1000x a minute and drain souls/life force

# ? Feb 19, 2014 21:46

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

01011001 posted:

im a huge fan of "click target, sit back for awhile as you lob misses at each other every 6 seconds because you only control one guy" too

Becoming a monk and swinging too fast for any enemy solved the poo poo out of that problem.

# ? Feb 19, 2014 21:53

Corek: May 11, 2013; by R. Guyovich

https://www.wowhead.com/npc=50952

# ? Feb 21, 2014 07:13

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

I guess everyone stopped posting here because they're having such great fun with the game

# ? Feb 24, 2014 03:46

The Protagonist: Jun 29, 2009; The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

Don Tacorleone posted:

I guess everyone stopped posting here because they're having such great fun with the game

No they went to go play morrowind which is still better in every conceivable way

# ? Feb 24, 2014 04:16

Pistol_Pete: Sep 15, 2007; Oven Wrangler

New beta test this weekend guys!

(although I won't be playing it, 'cos I uninstalled the whole thing after being utterly unimpressed with the previous beta test)

# ? Feb 26, 2014 17:55

GreatGreen: Jul 3, 2007; That's not what gaslighting means you hyperbolic dipshit.

Yeah I saw an invite in my inbox and laughed and laughed, then closed my inbox.

(I'm not worried about saying this openly and people pm'ing me for the key because lol)

# ? Feb 26, 2014 19:10

Pistol_Pete: Sep 15, 2007; Oven Wrangler

Like someone cleverer than me said in this very thread: if I can't even be bothered to play it for free, i'm sure as hell not going to pay a monthly fee to play it.

# ? Feb 26, 2014 19:14

kingcom: Jun 23, 2012

Someone play it and stream so i can point and laugh tia.

# ? Feb 27, 2014 00:33

Space Pussy: Feb 19, 2011

kingcom posted:

Someone play it and stream so i can point and laugh tia.

# ? Mar 1, 2014 06:20

rainy day: Jul 20, 2009; by Ralp

unfortunately I just moved and the internet hasn't been hooked up yet so I wont be able to stream this weekend. if anyone wants an invite (lol) tho hit me up

# ? Mar 1, 2014 06:23

Agrajag: Jan 21, 2006; gat dang thats hot

kingcom posted:

Someone play it and stream so i can point and laugh tia.

Yo, nerds stream this turd

# ? Mar 1, 2014 06:34

Third World Reagan: May 19, 2008; Imagine four 'mechs waiting in a queue. Time works the same way.

I'll find someone to stream it tomorrow. We got about 5 or 6 people who can enter pvp now.

# ? Mar 1, 2014 06:40

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

I got a beta invite. I am definitely not paying for this poo poo. You start in a WoW-looking area and then go to more WoW looking areas with WoW-looking versions of the TES races and a bunch of dumb WoW quests. This is just a lovely generic MMO with TES's setting pasted on, except it mostly just shits all over the setting instead of being anything like it.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 00:10

Agrajag: Jan 21, 2006; gat dang thats hot

I took a look at a stream of ESO today and everything seems to be in coloured in different shades of brown. Coincidentally it is the colour of poop.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 00:12

Swamp Fancy: Apr 6, 2003; Look, I'm not exaggerating when I say the success of your mission hinges on how you use that cardboard box.

Agrajag posted:

I took a look at a stream of ESO today and everything seems to be in coloured in different shades of brown. Coincidentally it is the colour of poop.

It can't even disguise it's shittiness

# ? Mar 2, 2014 00:25

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK: Sep 11, 2001

is the draw distance still rear end? or will it only be improved in the magical day1 patch

# ? Mar 2, 2014 01:41

kingcom: Jun 23, 2012

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK posted:

is the draw distance still rear end? or will it only be improved in the magical day1 patch

Nah dont worry day 1 magic patch will make it the number one mmo guaranteed. You should probably buy the lifetime subscription now.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 02:11

Bloody Hedgehog: Dec 12, 2003; 💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK posted:

is the draw distance still rear end? or will it only be improved in the magical day1 patch

Under normal circumstances, the draw distance is perfectly fine. The issues with it were either some sort of bug, or people confusing weather-based fog with distance-culling fog. During clear weather and with long lines of sight, the draw distance pretty much extends to the map edges.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 02:12

Jalumibnkrayal: Apr 16, 2008; Ramrod XTreme

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK posted:

is the draw distance still rear end? or will it only be improved in the magical day1 patch

A week ago they released a huge list of patch notes (which included "fixing thousands of quest bugs"), and then they launched this new beta event without the new patch. So if it was rear end before, it's rear end now.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 02:23

Agrajag: Jan 21, 2006; gat dang thats hot

kingcom posted:

Nah dont worry day 1 magic patch will make it the number one mmo guaranteed. You should probably buy the lifetime subscription now.

Best to get in on the ground floor it only goes up up up upon release.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 02:23

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK: Sep 11, 2001

is the FOV really locked to 60 if you run around in first person? goddamn thats pathetic

# ? Mar 2, 2014 03:18

GreatGreen: Jul 3, 2007; That's not what gaslighting means you hyperbolic dipshit.

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK posted:

is the FOV really locked to 60 if you run around in first person? goddamn thats pathetic

Hahahahahaha

Well hey if that's the case just pick up the console vers... oh right. God if that's true what a bunch of loving idiot devs.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 03:59

Torka: Jan 5, 2008

lol 60

# ? Mar 2, 2014 04:03

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# ? May 25, 2024 16:14

Third World Reagan: May 19, 2008; Imagine four 'mechs waiting in a queue. Time works the same way.

My draw distance is still poo poo. And it rains constantly in cyrodill where I took those photos so it may just be fog all the time.

# ? Mar 2, 2014 04:18

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Imp Zone > the elder scrolls online was a steaming turd

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