Neighbourhood Necromancer - Another fine CYOA from Choice of Games

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Keeshhound: Jan 14, 2010; Mad Duck Swagger

I never realized how much I wish this game had a "health inspector alternate" ending.

# ? Feb 19, 2015 01:32

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# ? May 27, 2024 21:27

Oblivion4568238: Oct 10, 2012; The Inquisition.
What a show.
The Inquisition.
Here. We. Go.; College Slice

quote:

Yet another indignity of living in a small town is that there is only one place to go and get your hair cut. Unless you want to take your chances on that woman with the lazy eye who goes to people's houses.

No matter what time of day you go there, "Cut and Colour" is full of women who talk too loudly. The exact composition of the group changes from hour to hour but there are always familiar faces, and their tone is consistent: they know better.

At first you thought they were waiting for a haircut. Then you noticed it never seemed to be their turn. Finally you realised that what they liked was a warm room to hang out in, with free magazines and a captive audience. It is a sort of day care centre for bigots which also offers haircuts.

Vidal Sassoon supposedly said that with a small pair of scissors, he could make a woman cry for a week. Imagine what you can do with an undead horde.

quote:

You wait until late afternoon, when the light is fading. As you draw close to "Cut and Colour", you see figures inside. There are three women sitting around, and an elderly man in the chair. Geena, the stylist, is sporting a purple, ruffled blouse and has her hair pulled up in an unearthly bun. She looks over her shoulder at her cronies as she snips. Even from a distance, you are nervous about her customer's ears.

As you consider your approach, she waves a hand mirror at the man and removes the protective cape. He pays up and staggers from the shop, patting regions of his head.

How will you approach your mission of wrath against the hairdressers?

Get a haircut and improvise while in the chair.
Attempt to lure the inhabitants out into the open. (Energy ~-30, Control ~+5, repeat choice)
Send a zombie in for a trim.
Full-on undead assault.

This one's kinda rough. It was one thing to stuff every result from the chippy assault into a post even after having decided if we were doing the public or secret assault, but here... suffice to say, the three choices that aren't the second one each have very involved subchoices, and depending on what we choose from there, may have further choices that can't just be split like I have done so far. Probably the most complicated visit to a barber / hairdresser I've ever seen.

# ? Feb 19, 2015 04:32

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Full-on assault. I think that's the only one we haven't tried.

# ? Feb 19, 2015 04:42

Darth TNT: Sep 20, 2013

Full on assault!

# ? Feb 19, 2015 08:28

Rogue AI Goddess: May 10, 2012; I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees.
That was a joke... unless..?

Go in and improvise.

# ? Feb 19, 2015 10:07

Oblivion4568238: Oct 10, 2012; The Inquisition.
What a show.
The Inquisition.
Here. We. Go.; College Slice

quote:

Your pulse races as your undead horde rushes the window. A skeletal head butt, delivered with animated glee, shatters the glass and the salon crowd look up as the cheerful window of "Colour and Cut" rains to the floor in pieces.

Your horde steps through the raggedy spikes of glass.

Geena's mouth curls into a snarl. She snatches up a metal bin. "You wee freaks! Get out of my salon! Ladies�could you lend a hand?"

The three hangers-on look startled, yet respond to the authority in Geena's voice. One comes forward brandishing a rolled-up golf umbrella. The other two lift their chairs ready to swing.

Concentrate on Geena. (Energy, Control > 50 , Skeletons > 0; Failure = missing a wicked skeleton assassination, Control >50 , Zombies > 0; Success = Luck ~+15, Victory)
Ignore Geena and rush her cronies. (Target of (100 - (Minions *12))= (100-48)=52, Energy >52; Failure = PROBABLE PARTY WIPE)
Order general mayhem. (Control <63; Success = Not losing a zombie, Energy <47; Failure = Control ~-10, Skeletons -1, Control ~+5, Visibility +6, Body Count + 1 or 2)

To explain, the second option, when failed, gives the hairdressers a free kill from each of your zombies and your skeletons, so long as you have any, and then moves into the third option. The Control loss you suffer for losing minions would push us under the Control check there, losing our second zombie, and we would lose our second skeleton anyways. So, to recap, option one is still a win for us (the way we're going, missing the assassination is probably the better outcome, since we can't give a lecture if that happens), option three is going to kill one of our skeletons, and option two is going to murder our Control stat and our horde.

Stats posted:

A successful necromancer must manage an array of vital character statistics.

Control: 64%
Energy: 42%
Luck: 74%
Corruption: 0%
Humanity: 9%
Your activities have attracted some attention.

Your undead army consists of:
Skeletons: 2
Zombies: 2
and it has killed 2 people in total.

# ? Feb 20, 2015 06:40

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Option one. Let's not fail if we don't have to.

# ? Feb 20, 2015 08:54

Oblivion4568238: Oct 10, 2012; The Inquisition.
What a show.
The Inquisition.
Here. We. Go.; College Slice

quote:

You order a direct charge on the lady in command.

A zombie knocks aside a blow to the face and disarms Geena. It drags her down in a jumble of chairs, rollers, and hairdryer cord. Seeing her felled so quickly, her cronies work out they will be next on the menu. They drop their weapons and flee, screaming.

quote:

Geena blinks and moans, stretched out on the ground. Your zombie looms over her. "Wha�" she says. "What did�?"

Hold the zombie back and lecture her on customer care. (Control, Luck ~+10, Humanity +4, Visibility +2)
Leave, satisfied with the scare you've already given. (Luck ~+10, Control ~+5, Humanity +3)
Kill her. (Control, Luck ~+10, Corruption +2, Visibility +2, Recruit opportunity)
Kill her and get the zombie to remove her scalp. (Control ~+20, Luck ~+10, Corruption +4, Visibility +2, Recruit Opportunity)
New Day at end of scene

Stats posted:

A successful necromancer must manage an array of vital character statistics.

Control: 64%
Energy: 42%
Luck: 77% (+3)
Corruption: 0%
Humanity: 9%
Your activities have attracted some attention.

Your undead army consists of:
Skeletons: 2
Zombies: 2
and it has killed 2 people in total.

# ? Feb 21, 2015 09:05

Thesaya: May 17, 2011; I am a Plant.

LECTURE TIME!

# ? Feb 21, 2015 10:51

Amidiri: Apr 26, 2010

Lecture her so she can feel bad about what she's done, unlike us, who have only assaulted several people with an undead army

# ? Feb 21, 2015 11:53

Seraphic Neoman: Jul 19, 2011

GOON JUSTICE

# ? Feb 21, 2015 11:56

Anchors: Nov 27, 2007

Scalp 'em

# ? Feb 21, 2015 14:31

Darth TNT: Sep 20, 2013

Lecture!

# ? Feb 21, 2015 14:49

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Lecture!

# ? Feb 21, 2015 19:46

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

LECTURE!

I still love this game for allowing this.

# ? Feb 21, 2015 20:00

Angrymog: Jan 30, 2012; Really Madcats

Lecture!

# ? Feb 21, 2015 21:31

RedMagus: Nov 16, 2005; Male....Female...what does it matter? Power is beautiful, and I've got the power!; Grimey Drawer

lecture on how you properly run a business in this town!

# ? Feb 21, 2015 22:10

IrvingWashington: Dec 9, 2007; Shabbat Shalom; Clapping Larry

We should have named our character Hannibal Lecture

# ? Feb 22, 2015 03:42

Oblivion4568238: Oct 10, 2012; The Inquisition.
What a show.
The Inquisition.
Here. We. Go.; College Slice

quote:

The zombie leans in for a killing blow but you restrain it with a finger on the bone. You begin a catalogue of the indignities you've suffered at her hair salon: the teasing, the inattention, the unfortunate retro style choices. Geena seems initially startled, then confused, but after a couple of minutes of this, she seems to have a moment of revelation.

"I try to create a positive environment. With my bubbly personality," she murmurs. "But maybe it's too much for some customers�too overpowering�"

You slip away before she can recover her wits, taking the zombie with you.

Next Day posted:

It's a new day.

The sun seems terminally stuck behind a cloud. But the air is fresh and clear.

You have to pop out to the corner shop for supplies: milk, bread, skin cream for the zombies, mineral oil for the skeletons, and industrial-strength cleaner for�well, everything. On the way into the shop, you collide with a black-clad figure in big, goth boots. It's Sam, whom you know from school. You feel heat in your cheeks and mutter apologies as you squeeze past.

Is it because you find Sam attractive? Admit it.

Yes, and Sam's a boy. (Humanity +1, Meet Sam)
Yes, and Sam's a girl. (Humanity +1, Meet Sam)
I am a solitary necromancer with a secret life. I find no-one attractive. (Corruption +1, Do not meet Sam, get one of the best Fake Choices in game)

Even being in this scene means that we will meet the Banshee, thankfully. There's no further obligation to start a romance with Sam, though it would be a good way to get further Humanity throughout the rest of the story.

Stats posted:

A successful necromancer must manage an array of vital character statistics.

Control: 67% (+3)
Energy: 42%
Luck: 79% (+2)
Corruption: 0%
Humanity: 13% (+4)
Your activities have attracted some attention. (+2)

Your undead army consists of:
Skeletons: 2
Zombies: 2
and it has killed 2 people in total.

Oblivion4568238 fucked around with this message at 06:41 on Feb 22, 2015

# ? Feb 22, 2015 06:36

Seraphic Neoman: Jul 19, 2011

Yes Sam's a boy

but show off that fakechoice if you can

# ? Feb 22, 2015 06:39

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Go for the fake choice.

# ? Feb 22, 2015 06:55

Pladdicus: Aug 13, 2010

FAKE CHOICE

# ? Feb 22, 2015 08:47

Hiveminded: Aug 26, 2014

SSNeoman posted:

Yes Sam's a boy

but show off that fakechoice if you can

this please

# ? Feb 22, 2015 10:18

Shei-kun: Dec 2, 2011; Screw you, physics!

ultrafilter posted:

Go for the fake choice.

Gotta go with this. I wanna see this thing.

# ? Feb 22, 2015 10:40

Fangz: Jul 5, 2007; Oh I see! This must be the Bad Opinion Zone!

Let's try and romance Max this time round. If that is still possible.

Edit: so fake choice.

Fangz fucked around with this message at 15:00 on Feb 22, 2015

# ? Feb 22, 2015 13:19

Angrymog: Jan 30, 2012; Really Madcats

I thought we romanced Max the first time around. I would like to see this fake choice.

# ? Feb 22, 2015 14:52

Tunicate: May 15, 2012

Its a faaaaaaaaaaaaaake

# ? Feb 22, 2015 14:56

Fangz: Jul 5, 2007; Oh I see! This must be the Bad Opinion Zone!

Angrymog posted:

I thought we romanced Max the first time around. I would like to see this fake choice.

We romanced Sam the first time round. The second time round we had zombies eat Max. The third time round we accidentally melted Max's face.

# ? Feb 22, 2015 15:00

Keeshhound: Jan 14, 2010; Mad Duck Swagger

Fangz posted:

We romanced Sam the first time round. The second time round we had zombies eat Max. The third time round we accidentally melted Max's face.

Guys, I'm starting to think we might not be very good at this romance thing.

Fake choice

# ? Feb 22, 2015 15:29

Fangz: Jul 5, 2007; Oh I see! This must be the Bad Opinion Zone!

Keeshhound posted:

Guys, I'm starting to think we might not be very good at this romance thing.

Fake choice

I consider it Max's fault that they are attracted to pure evil, yet is apparently allergic to it....

# ? Feb 22, 2015 16:23

Angrymog: Jan 30, 2012; Really Madcats

Fangz posted:

We romanced Sam the first time round. The second time round we had zombies eat Max. The third time round we accidentally melted Max's face.

I thought we went and got sort of loveyy-doveyy with Max after driving the army out of the town the first time around?

# ? Feb 22, 2015 18:14

Fangz: Jul 5, 2007; Oh I see! This must be the Bad Opinion Zone!

Angrymog posted:

I thought we went and got sort of loveyy-doveyy with Max after driving the army out of the town the first time around?

That's Sam. Sam seems to be the good-aligned romance, while Max is the evil aligned romance, as you know from Sam and Max Hit the Road.

# ? Feb 22, 2015 18:37

Oblivion4568238: Oct 10, 2012; The Inquisition.
What a show.
The Inquisition.
Here. We. Go.; College Slice

We didn't melt Max's face off, we saw through them and how they were rotten on the inside, and we were only like 3 Corruption off from being able to join in. For this Fake Choice only, italicized text are the options we (I) aren't picking, they remain bolded for separation from each other.

quote:

Was there a flicker of something there? No. You can't risk exposure when you are waging war against the entire town from the shadows. You skulk off with your cheerful, blue polythene bag full of bulk groceries.

Still, you feel uneasy. A feeling of doom bothers you for a few blocks. You pass a decorative homeware shop with an interesting window display. Perhaps you should freshen up your domestic environment. What item will you choose?

A lampshade which, in a certain light, might appear to be made of human skin.
You purchase the lampshade. The cashier remarks upon its intricate texturing and retro appeal.

On the way home you examine it again. In daylight, it looks more like a bad 70s kitsch piece from a second-rate TV cop show. Still, undead residents will give it context.

You head home, the lampshade bumping against your leg.

A pair of cushions with a sequinned skull motif.
You purchase the cushions. They are black and furry. The cashier seems to think the sequins form a picture of a silver pretzel. Outside, you examine the cushions again. They are clearly skulls, unless you hold them tipped sideways. And why would a pretzel be silver anyway?

Still, it bothers you all the way home.

A statuette of a zombie mermaid.
You purchase a large, plaster ornament of a weed-choked corpse rising from beneath the waves carrying a trident. The cashier remarks upon its intricate tail and the small fish sculpted into the splashing water.

Halfway home, you bump the bag against a bollard and the statue smashes. You find you are not terribly upset at its loss.

I WILL DECORATE MY HOME WITH THE BONES OF MY ENEMIES

Even if it's a Fake Choice, there's only one true option here. I said this was one of the best Fake Choices, the other off the top of my head is that drat hot chocolate incident.

quote:

OK, good plan. Plenty of time for that later.

You head home.

quote:

Inside the house, you are struck by a feeling that something is wrong, something out of place. You freeze and listen. You hear nothing, except�is that a cold breeze against your skin? You imagine armed police in bulletproof vests, crouched against doorways, waiting for the signal to take you down�seconds away�

You look back at the door to outside. Should you trust your instincts?

quote:

"What time do you call this?"

The shriek makes you leap right off the floor. An immensely tall woman looms towards you, straggly red hair plastered down the side of her face with what looks like swamp water. She wears a loose green slip from some long-ago era, while her eyes are wide, dark-rimmed, and fixed on you.

It takes you a moment to realise she is floating six inches above the linoleum.

Make a break for it. (Max Energy, Energy ~-10)
Talk to her in a calm tone. (Control ~+5)
Summon the undead to attack. (Control ~-5)

Stats posted:

A successful necromancer must manage an array of vital character statistics.

Control: 67%
Energy: 42%
Luck: 79%
Corruption: 1% (+1)
Humanity: 13%
Your activities have attracted some attention.

Your undead army consists of:
Skeletons: 2
Zombies: 2
and it has killed 2 people in total.

# ? Feb 22, 2015 22:42

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Speak calmly.

# ? Feb 22, 2015 23:48

Darth TNT: Sep 20, 2013

Kill it with zombies!

# ? Feb 23, 2015 08:57

BDA: Dec 10, 2007; Extremely grim and evil.

Calm tone.

# ? Feb 23, 2015 13:57

Oblivion4568238: Oct 10, 2012; The Inquisition.
What a show.
The Inquisition.
Here. We. Go.; College Slice

quote:

You politely enquire what this shrill apparition is doing in your house. She seems a little miffed at your calm demeanour.

The woman drifts closer, towering over you, looking down her bony nose like a nightmare primary school teacher. She smells of grave dirt and Lily Of The Valley.

"The arrogance," she hisses. "You conjure the dead from their resting places below, for a twilight existence of whimsy and servitude. You quarter them here, in grubby suburban squalor. And then, do you spend your time caring for their immortal souls? No. You pop out to the shops."

Point out you went to buy serious cleaning materials. (Energy ~+5)
Explain that you didn't exactly choose to become a necromancer. (Luck ~-5)
Challenge this woman's right to lecture you. (Control ~+5)

Stats posted:

A successful necromancer must manage an array of vital character statistics.

Control: 68% (+1)
Energy: 42%
Luck: 79%
Corruption: 1%
Humanity: 13%
Your activities have attracted some attention.

Your undead army consists of:
Skeletons: 2
Zombies: 2
and it has killed 2 people in total.

# ? Feb 24, 2015 03:52

Seraphic Neoman: Jul 19, 2011

Yo lady we cleaning this poo poo can't you see?

# ? Feb 24, 2015 04:03

Anchors: Nov 27, 2007

If you'd let me finish, you'd see I'm about to clean.

# ? Feb 24, 2015 04:14

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# ? May 27, 2024 21:27

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Hey, no-one but me lectures people around here!

# ? Feb 24, 2015 04:26

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Neighbourhood Necromancer - Another fine CYOA from Choice of Games

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