Amazing and informative Save-ur-life™ wall posters!

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Amazing and informative Save-ur-life™ wall posters!

fuckingtest: Mar 31, 2001; Just evolving, you know?
Right Here, Right Now.

First, take a look at this page:

http://www.proctorelem.org/nurse/nurse.htm

nothing there? Well there are some images on there that cracked me up. These are pics from one of those School Nurse's office posters showing what to do if a child is choking. I found these while looking for accident victims for another thread and thought, this could be good...Ive always loved the imagery and lettering on these. This was the first page:

http://www.proctorelem.org/nurse/choking_victim_6.jpg

so I just started adding numbers and found a some more:

http://www.proctorelem.org/nurse/choking_victim_1.jpg
http://www.proctorelem.org/nurse/choking_victim_2.jpg
http://www.proctorelem.org/nurse/choking_victim_3.jpg
http://www.proctorelem.org/nurse/choking_victim_4.jpg
http://www.proctorelem.org/nurse/choking_victim_5.jpg
http://www.proctorelem.org/nurse/choking_victim_7.jpg
http://www.proctorelem.org/nurse/choking_victim_8.jpg

You can use these or find some more if you would like. Here's mine:

BONUS: Since I hate having to match fonts...Ive included the two fonts I used above in a .zip file here!

N-JOY!

# ? Jul 9, 2004 06:04

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 8, 2024 17:31

Not an Anthem: Apr 28, 2003; I'm a fucking pain machine and if you even touch my fucking car I WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOU.

I have been looking for "Choking Victim" posters EVERYWHERE. Thank you so much.. I keep trying to pinch them from various horrible restaurants that carry them but they're always pasted to the wall or behind glass.

edit- if there was any way you could transform #1 into a child smoking a crack pipe, with an american flag behind it, I would love you forever.

# ? Jul 9, 2004 06:07

KillerTwinkie: Sep 11, 2003; I swear it wasn't me...

# ? Jul 9, 2004 06:17

CreamCheese: Oct 23, 2002

# ? Jul 9, 2004 06:31

plushpuffin: Jan 10, 2003; Fratercula arctica; Nap Ghost

# ? Jul 9, 2004 06:32

Iridium: Apr 4, 2002; Wretched Harp

quote:

plushpuffin came out of the closet to say:
Miracle Heal

You forget step 2 which is where you throw your cordless mouse across the room because the loving game doesn't recognize your goddamned spiral. Good one though.

# ? Jul 9, 2004 06:33

Madcosby: Mar 4, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

Nice work... I'll try and keep up with your zombie theme.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jul 9, 2004 06:39

FacelessMime: Jan 26, 2004; Where's my face?

I want to be revitalized like that little girl.

# ? Jul 9, 2004 06:42

Hans E.: May 11, 2004; by Fistgrrl

This is like that one post with 101 or so things to do with you child :)

I wish I had photoshop...

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jul 9, 2004 06:43

Almost Smart: Sep 14, 2001; so your telling me you wasn't drunk or fucked up in anyway. when you had sex with me and that monkey

I tried to use the fonts you supplied, but Gimp is real pissy about that kind of thing.

# ? Jul 9, 2004 07:06

Zarikov: Jun 20, 2004; Metal Gear? Metal Gear? Metal Gear!; Dinosaur Gum

# ? Jul 9, 2004 07:07

William Lee: May 16, 2003; I guess it's about time for our William Tell routine.

'Twas a bit of a rush job...

# ? Jul 9, 2004 07:08

Fuck Man: Jul 5, 2004

quote:

You forget step 2 which is where you throw your cordless mouse across the room because the loving game doesn't recognize your goddamned spiral. Good one though.

Oh so true.

# ? Jul 9, 2004 07:09

fuckingtest: Mar 31, 2001; Just evolving, you know?
Right Here, Right Now.

quote:

Arson Equity came out of the closet to say:
I have been looking for "Choking Victim" posters EVERYWHERE. Thank you so much.. I keep trying to pinch them from various horrible restaurants that carry them but they're always pasted to the wall or behind glass.

edit- if there was any way you could transform #1 into a child smoking a crack pipe, with an american flag behind it, I would love you forever.

Thanks for the idea dude. Sorry no jingoist symbols of capitalism and the bourgeois excess!

Oh and here's the original size without my text. http://www.amorphousmedia.net/sa_stuff/crack_large.jpg

# ? Jul 9, 2004 07:09

Kleebner: Jan 26, 2004

quote:

Zarikov came out of the closet to say:

awesome
awesome
awesome

# ? Jul 9, 2004 07:10

B4Ctom1: Oct 5, 2003; OVERWORKED COCK; Slippery Tilde

awsome!

# ? Jul 9, 2004 07:11

Not an Anthem: Apr 28, 2003; I'm a fucking pain machine and if you even touch my fucking car I WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOU.

quote:

fuckingtest came out of the closet to say:
Thanks for the idea dude. Sorry no jingoist symbols of capitalism and the bourgeois excess!

No its actually not an attack on america :( Choking Victim is a really, really old band and it always kills me to see the plethora of Choking Victim! posters in all the nyc restaurants (their home for the most part). The american flag is just part of a photo shoot one of the guys did with an american flag, I wanted to add in his background. Thanks a BILLION for the image, its really keen, I'll probably rasterbate it. <3 <3 Fuckingtest

# ? Jul 9, 2004 07:13

fuckingtest: Mar 31, 2001; Just evolving, you know?
Right Here, Right Now.

quote:

Arson Equity came out of the closet to say:

No its actually not an attack on america :( Choking Victim is a really, really old band and it always kills me to see the plethora of Choking Victim! posters in all the nyc restaurants (their home for the most part). The american flag is just part of a photo shoot one of the guys did with an american flag, I wanted to add in his background. Thanks a BILLION for the image, its really keen, I'll probably rasterbate it. <3 <3 Fuckingtest

Just joshing you dirty hippie commie bastard :)

# ? Jul 9, 2004 07:15

Wraith: May 22, 2001; ARISE
ARISE, ROBOTS OF THEODEN

quote:

Zarikov came out of the closet to say:
[img-aliens]

Perfect.

Does anybody else lose their appetite when they have to sit facing the giant "CHOKING HAZARD" sign in a restaurant?

# ? Jul 9, 2004 07:16

Madcosby: Mar 4, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

I made another, but since I can't draw I had to use some other images... sorry.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jul 9, 2004 07:17

Zarikov: Jun 20, 2004; Metal Gear? Metal Gear? Metal Gear!; Dinosaur Gum

Hmm.

# ? Jul 9, 2004 07:25

Omicr0n: Sep 11, 2001

# ? Jul 9, 2004 07:28

olaf2022: Feb 19, 2003; Fun Shoe

# ? Jul 9, 2004 07:28

sH_: Jun 4, 2004; by Ozma

I think we have another glorious "airline safety poster" thread on our hands! awesome awesome awesome!!

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jul 9, 2004 07:33

Voodude: Sep 17, 2003; Roll me through the gates of hell

quote:

plushpuffin came out of the closet to say:

Genius! I was obsessed with that game for so long...

# ? Jul 9, 2004 07:37

Low Disk Space: Oct 8, 2003

Low Disk Space fucked around with this message at 07:42 on Jul 9, 2004

# ? Jul 9, 2004 07:40

EVIL Gibson: Mar 23, 2001; Internet of Things is just someone else's computer that people can't help attaching cameras and door locks to!; Switchblade Switcharoo

# ? Jul 9, 2004 07:43

Omicr0n: Sep 11, 2001

# ? Jul 9, 2004 07:43

Almost Smart: Sep 14, 2001; so your telling me you wasn't drunk or fucked up in anyway. when you had sex with me and that monkey

:confused:

# ? Jul 9, 2004 07:44

Not an Anthem: Apr 28, 2003; I'm a fucking pain machine and if you even touch my fucking car I WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOU.

quote:

fuckingtest came out of the closet to say:

Just joshing you dirty hippie commie bastard :)

So was I! This was all a ruse to get you to make the latest propaganda for my Al Quaeda Freedom Fighter Frenchie Commune Lovefest Longhair convention! Mwahahahaha..

No seriously thanks :(

# ? Jul 9, 2004 07:45