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Update on page 12 I'm sitting here at work(night watchman at a hotel), about an hour and half ago I got a call from a customer who has gotten lost on the way here. The guy DEMANDED directions from where he is cursing about every other word. I give him the requested directions and he hangs up. I go back to what I was doing(jack poo poo). 45 minutes later, the phone rings again. Its the same guy, Except this time he is screaming into the receiver that thanks to my crappy directions he is now totally freaking lost, That hes wasted a bunch of fuel, ect. I'd just read him off directions from Google maps. I apologize This just sets him off on a blizzard of curses, Threats, and damnations. He finishes up with "I've found my way back onto the right loving road. If you are there when I get there I am going to kick your scrawny rear end" and hangs up. I'm debating what to do, I can take the easy(boring) way out and just call the cops on him. But I REALLY don't want to bother the Officer this early in the morning.(hes nice, he let me off on would have been a rather nasty ticket) I want some options other than the obvious  / optionShall I gently caress with his mind? And place one of my tiny coworkers at the front desk and when he asks who was on the desk last night, I can walk out(ducking Through the doorway) and reply that I was. Or perhaps lower the seat so my head is barely peaking out above the desk and then stand up when he comes in. In any event, I really don't care if I get fired, I'm about to quit anyways. I Already have another job lined up. But i'd like to avoid getting arrested. WHATS IN YOUR WALLET? 
ZerglingMinor fucked around with this message at 04:59 on Oct 1, 2005 |
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Sep 30, 2005 07:26
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Aren't you that giant guy from the Ask/Tell thread? If so, I don't think you're going to get your rear end kicked by anyone. edit: I checked and it turns out that you are.  In that case, I vote for your "lower chair and then stand up when he enters". Please get someone to take pictures of the guy's reaction.
Uranium 235 fucked around with this message at 07:30 on Sep 30, 2005 |
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Sep 30, 2005 07:27
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Wait for the guy to come in screaming, then proceed to become entirely amused at his anger. Nothing pisses people off like being laughed at while they're angry.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:27
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Just say that you just got into work, and change the pitch of your voice, and say you have no idea what you're talking about.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:28
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When he comes in, throw a pie at him.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:28
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man you need to scare the poo poo out of him. What with being huge and all.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:28
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I don't think he's really going to kick your rear end. I think he is just a pissed off individual, I highly doubt that if he comes in there and you just try to get him settled that he is going to try and hurt you. You've done nothing but try and help him. Just calm down and handle the situation, you should be fine. People will rarely go off on someone that is not continuing to provoke them.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:28
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take your pants off
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Sep 30, 2005 07:29
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I think when he sees you he will poo poo his pants. So I vote gently caress with his mind.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:29
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Bastard Tetris posted:Wait for the guy to come in screaming, then proceed to become entirely amused at his anger. Nothing pisses people off like being laughed at while they're angry. I still prefer the blank stare. While he is yelling at you stare at a spot just past one of his ears and let your jaw go a little slack. Bonus points if you can get a little drool going from the corner of your mouth.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:29
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I'd just tell him that you left for the night, he doesn't know what you look like and most people don't remember what a person sounds like on the phone. Say you're there for the rest of the night and that you're sorry if the other person caused an inconvenience. Say some bullshit about how you'll see the guy he talked to gets written up and that should be the end of it. I've changed my mind after seeing your picture, sit as low as you possibly can, possibly not even in a chair, on the floor, then slowly stand up. Use his body like a baseball bat and smash his head into the coke machine in the lobby. tonokeemon fucked around with this message at 07:57 on Sep 30, 2005 |
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Sep 30, 2005 07:30
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Uranium 235 posted:Aren't you that giant guy from the Ask/Tell thread? If so, I don't think you're going to get your rear end kicked by anyone. Just keep asking him "Are you SURE you aren't the guy that was going to kick my "scrawny rear end"? As you beat him down like the bitch he is.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:30
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JimmyJARS posted:I think when he sees you he will poo poo his pants. If this does occur create a new thread.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:30
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Uh dude... I think as soon as he sees you he'll poo poo his pants Beaten drat it
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Sep 30, 2005 07:30
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^^^^^^^^^^^ HOLY loving poo pooTheMadMadman posted:I still prefer the blank stare. While he is yelling at you stare at a spot just past one of his ears and let your jaw go a little slack. Bonus points if you can get a little drool going from the corner of your mouth. Hell, when I got lectured by my parents I just thought about surfing. Or if it was via phone, browse porn. The cornerstone of the strategy is to make sure they know you're not paying any attention to them at all.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:30
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Grind his bones to make your bread.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:31
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Invite him in to kick your rear end and watch him recoil in terror at your sheer size. Seriously dude, if he wants to kick your rear end he's suicidal.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:31
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Eat him. Or ignore him.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:32
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No fair I didn't realize it was that guy, just call him a giant pussy then beat him with his own fists.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:33
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Deluxomatic posted:He is indeed! Nothing can beat the comedy option of this wayward traveller encountering this giant of a man. Bastard Tetris posted:^^^^^^^^^^^ HOLY loving poo poo
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Sep 30, 2005 07:33
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Judging by your photo, your clearly not a pussy. If he comes in and starts poo poo, kick his loving rear end dude.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:35
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Wristy McSlashalot posted:Uh dude... Wow, poo poo. I remember this guy. If the guy walks in all pissed off and screaming, just say "I hope the directions weren't too bad" and stand up to offer him a "friendly" handshake. It'll make him feel awkward because he'll be intimidated by you but he also wouldn't want to piss you off by NOT shaking your hand.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:36
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Haha, I almost skipped over this thread title until I saw who it was posted by. PLEASE get photos
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Sep 30, 2005 07:37
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Just mess with him. Messing with people is always great, especially when you have nothing to lose and laughter to gain.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:38
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just look at him and roar. don't stop until he flees!
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Sep 30, 2005 07:38
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Whatever you do, it is paramount that you have a cameraman.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:40
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MariusMS posted:Grind his bones to make your bread.  upon reading that woke my wife upI suggest ignoring him. Let him rant and rave and just sorta blow him off. I know from years of customer experience (Home Depot) that that pisses them off more than getting all defensive or angry. Let him shoot his angerwad all over your desk, then shrug and give him a "whatever." I've actually seen heads explode.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:44
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Haha, yeah I also vote for the "lower your seat so your head is just barely peeking over the desk and then stand up" option. Just for the sheer absurdity and suprise value. In fact, you should do this with ALL customers who come in.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:45
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ZerglingMinor posted:Or perhaps lower the seat so my head is barely peaking out above the desk and then stand up when he comes in. Yes, do this. If you have a camera phone, you should have it ready to snap his picture when he sees your massive girth. 
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Sep 30, 2005 07:46
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I cast my vote for the "sitting low in the chair idea"
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Sep 30, 2005 07:48
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Make sure that you can obtain a copy of the security tape to show us. Then proceed to lower your chair so that your head is barely showing and stand up when he walks up to you.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:48
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It looks like you wouldn't have too much trouble slipping this guy into a nice little coma. Subscribed and waiting. By the way, can you tell us your stats (height, weight, and the model of German car you're able to lift over your shoulders) or kindly link to this supposed Ask/Tell thread.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:48
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Oh god, please gently caress with his mind. I am giggling just picturing the scenario in my mind.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:52
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Ask / Tell thread. I also say you do the "lower the seat" thing. And try to wait as long as possible until "revealing" how big you actually are.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:53
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You should let him kick your scrawny rear end. It's your fault he got lost. Voted "lure him out with wimpy coworker then intimidate him until he defecates in lobby."
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Sep 30, 2005 07:53
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However you do it, it must be done wearing a clown suit and makeup.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:54
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TheMollusk posted:It looks like you wouldn't have too much trouble slipping this guy into a nice little coma. Subscribed and waiting. don't feel like finding the link for the ask/tell thread, but the stats are 6'7" 477lbs 1985 VW Diesel Golf(to be honest I can only lift it a little bit) I think i might get drunk before he gets here, just for fun... My drunken rages are scary to behold or so I have been told
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Sep 30, 2005 07:55
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ZerglingMinor posted:Or perhaps lower the seat so my head is barely peaking out above the desk and then stand up when he comes in.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:55
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I think you should have another person at the desk, then come out and announce you were running the desk. At that point look at the man directly in the eye and say: "So would you like to kick my rear end here, or should the rear end kicking commence outside? I would hate to damage something whilst I fall unconscious to the ground." Say this in a serious manner and lean down a bit twords him, keeping eye contact the whole time. The reason you need to do this is, there will be one less person in the world who will threaten to "kick rear end" over petty small stupid stuff. Failing all of this, I picture you sitting with him on your lap, holding his arms saying: "Stop hitting yourself! Why can't you stop hitting yourself?" While you use his own hands to beat himself about the head and shoulders.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:57
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Oh man this is going to be awesome. Your Ask/Tell thread was fantastic, and this thread is just better. I'm giggling at the thought of the look on his face when you emerge from behind the desk, seemingly ready to snap him like a twig. Bonus points if he's similarly sized and you have some kind of battle of the titans.
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Sep 30, 2005 07:59
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