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easyjo
Nov 4, 2004

fleeee!
Yesterday my flatmates and I created this, a house made only of meat.. Similar to a gingerbread house, but purely pork based :)

Vegetarians please look away now..

Here's the steps:

Starting to lay the walls on a bed of breadcrumbs:


Building up the walls more:


We decided kebab sticks would be a good addition to hold it together during the cooking:


Creation of the lawn, (750g of sausage meat, seasoned with sage, and a load of food colouring):


Laying down the lawn, and starting the roof:


Adding the roof, streaky bacon of course:


A few more additions, some seasoning, a paprika car and a bird bath:


Oven time!


100 minute later:


Kebab stick removal, now everything inside is totally edible:


And that's it, meat house complete:


Ingredients:
~20 sausages
12 rashers of bacon
1kg of sausage meat
2/3 a packet of bread crumbs
= 5870 calories...

6 of us managed to complete about 75% of it in one sitting :)

easyjo fucked around with this message at 16:53 on Oct 29, 2007

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The Doctor
Jul 8, 2007

:toot: :toot: :toot:
Fallen Rib
Oh God so disgusting.

Good job! :)

TheLizard
Oct 27, 2004

I am the Lizard Queen!
Your pictures aren't working for me. I desperatly want to see this house of meat.

forbidden dialectics
Jul 26, 2005





That is loving disgusting and you should be banned from ever cooking again.

easyjo
Nov 4, 2004

fleeee!

TheLizard posted:

Your pictures aren't working for me. I desperatly want to see this house of meat.

I've changed the image urls, it may work now.

Vlex
Aug 4, 2006
I'd rather be a climbing ape than a big titty angel.



Nostrum posted:

That is loving disgusting and you should be banned from ever cooking again.

Christ, GWS is becoming antagonistic, what with this and the whole "ale-vs-stout" drama in that chilli thread.

that said, I would eat the poo poo out of that house.

The Jizzer
Mar 19, 2003

...a man that doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man.

Nostrum posted:

That is loving disgusting and you should be banned from ever cooking again.

Well, it IS disgusting but it still looks delicious in the "meat sickness" kind of way like those giant meat rolls of GWS fame.

It's like churrascaria art.

forbidden dialectics
Jul 26, 2005





The Jizzer posted:

Well, it IS disgusting but it still looks delicious in the "meat sickness" kind of way like those giant meat rolls of GWS fame.

...lest we forget the horror of the Hotdog Rollup and Goon Pizza, and unearth the sins of the past.

Squashy Nipples
Aug 18, 2007

Ug, that is vile and depraved... My arteries hardened a little just by looking at it.

I salute you for taking your vision to fruition!


The choices of meats seem very British tho... I wonder what a "USA" version would be made of? Jimmy Dean, hotdogs and kielbasa?

Tindjin
Aug 4, 2006

Do not seek death.
Death will find you.
But seek the road
which makes death a fulfillment.
That

is

the

most

beautiful

thing

EVER!

Hurray for Meat!@

Chalk is Cheap
Mar 29, 2005

You know, Maine has a really cool underground hip-hop scene...
You are my hero. That is pure genius.

Out of curiosity, what was the thought process that led up to this? Was one of your parents killed by a rogue vegetarian or something?

Gourd of Taste
Sep 11, 2006

by Ralp
You are one gross motherfucker.

Redbeard
May 12, 2005

by Fragmaster
woa meat shouldnt be green dude

Andre Weed 420
Feb 19, 2007

by angerbot
...I'd eat it.

Atrox
Jul 19, 2003
Take a page from DK's book and find a jewish teenager
Saw the thread title and was wondering if there was a fellow NH goon into cooking. There's a local chain of butcher shop/deli/general store that lean towards the higher end of food items called the meathouse. One just opened near me so it may have been on the mind.

Anyway, interesting house of pork. Reminds me some of that meat cake that was posted here a bit ago. Makes me wonder how many undocumented things have been attempted to be built out of meat.

Shekfester
Mar 8, 2007

Can I interest you in a chicken wing?
The rosemary-sprig-tree make it feel ever so cozy! Well done.

Perhaps next time you could make a bacon tent in the backyard for the kids? With steak stakes holding it in place.

utonium
Dec 17, 2002
That's radtacular. But that ketchup wasn't for the meat, was it?

Painless
Jan 9, 2005

Turn ons: frogs, small mammals, piles of compost
Turn offs: large birds, pitchforks
See you at the beach!
Nothing in the OP is not gross. But yeah, I guess that's some kind of extremely questionable achievement. Did it taste edible?

easyjo
Nov 4, 2004

fleeee!

utonium posted:

That's radtacular. But that ketchup wasn't for the meat, was it?

yes, although the gravy we had was better.


Painless posted:

Nothing in the OP is not gross. But yeah, I guess that's some kind of extremely questionable achievement. Did it taste edible?

Yup it was actually pretty good, all the sausagement was seasoned nicely, and the sausages were decent quality. :)

Dache
Dec 26, 2003

this happy little fella is steve


Admit it - you guys were stoned.

MrTuffPaws
Feb 7, 2005

So cool, so :barf:

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS


The Jizzer posted:

churrascaria

You just went way over their heads.

I'm all for playing with your food...but I like the meatloaf cake better in execution and realism.

Diving Buttress
Aug 20, 2002

oh jesus christ
Do I see people actually ate slices of the lawn? All I can imagine is the taste of sausage and bacon grease run-off combined with the (green) meat. :(

I'd eat the roof.

easyjo
Nov 4, 2004

fleeee!

Diving Buttress posted:

Do I see people actually ate slices of the lawn? All I can imagine is the taste of sausage and bacon grease run-off combined with the (green) meat. :(

I'd eat the roof.

The lawn was actually pretty good, and wasn't too greasy as we had a bed of breadcrumbs to absorb most of it. Although yes, the roof was by far the tastiest bit :)

FetusSlapper
Jan 6, 2005

by exmarx

Diving Buttress posted:

Do I see people actually ate slices of the lawn? All I can imagine is the taste of sausage and bacon grease run-off combined with the (green) meat. :(

I'd eat the roof.

I think thats what the breadcrumbs were for, grease sponge.

Randomity
Feb 25, 2007

Careful what you wish,
You may regret it!

Dache posted:

Admit it - you guys were stoned.

Totally, if I was still a pothead I would be all over my own meathouse.

oni5000
Feb 24, 2006

YOU ARE NEXT!
Absolutely amazing.

Precious Roy
Jul 1, 2002

randomity posted:

Totally, if I was still a pothead I would be all over my own meathouse.
My stoned roommates and I agree that we would utterly demolish a meathouse. We particularly liked the ground meat masonry.

Myron Baloney
Mar 19, 2002

Emitting dimensions are swallowing you
This made me think of the Vision of Mac Conglinne immediately. So I guess the old Gaels would have liked your recipe at least.

A lake of new milk I beheld
In the midst of a fair plain
I saw a well-appointed house
Thatched with butter.

Puddings fresh-boiled were its thatch-rods
Its two soft door-posts of custard
Its dais of curds and butter
Beds of glorious lard
Many shields of thin pressed cheese.

Under the straps of those shields
Were men of soft sweet smooth cheese
Men who knew not to wound a Gael
Spears of old butter had each of them.

A huge cauldron full of meat
(Methought I'd try to tackle it),
Boiled, leafy kale, browny-white
A brimming vessel full of milk.

A bacon house of two-score ribs,
A wattling of tripe - support of clans -
Of every food pleasant to man,
Meseemed the whole was gathered there.

A bacon palisade,
Of chitterlings of pigs were made Its beautiful rafters
Splendid the beams and the pillars of marvelous pork
A butter draught-board with its men, smooth, speckled, peaked
God bless the words I utter, A feast without fatigue!

hisss
Mar 31, 2006

Tindjin posted:

That

is

the

most

beautiful

thing

EVER!

Hurray for Meat!@

I am disgusted by the idea of a meat house. But want to make one now....soooo badly.

Revolver Bunker
May 12, 2004

「この一撃にかけるっ!」
Look at it makes my blood run slower. But I'd still eat it. It reminds me of when I made a 2 layer meet cake for my friends birthday. Best surprise and look of disgust from my friends I've seen so far.

awesomekittens
Jan 26, 2007
oh my god dinosaur
Oh my God. This is the best thing I have ever seen in my life. I am going to have to have a party which includes a meat house.

k0konutz
Dec 27, 2006

Just be yourself, as long as that means you're a successful person.
Did the green sausage lawn color your teeth?

HackensackBackpack
Aug 20, 2007

Who needs a house out in Hackensack? Is that all you get for your money?
You now know what you must do, don't you?

You must construct additional meat houses, maybe some meat skyscrapers and perhaps a meat mall or school. Only then will you have literally built Heart Attack City.

pamer
Sep 22, 2006
Plaque is a figment of the liberal media and the dental industry to scare you into buying useless appliances and pastes. Now, I've read the arguments on both sides, and I haven't found any evidence yet to support the need to brush your teeth. Ever.

easyjo posted:

yes, although the gravy we had was better.

Next time add a swimming pool filled with gravy

pr0k
Jan 16, 2001

"Well if it's gonna be
that kind of party..."
A MEAT HOUSE????


Brilliant. :haw:

pamer posted:

Next time add a swimming pool filled with gravy


And a lake of stew and of whiskey too...?

floofyscorp
Feb 12, 2007

Oh my. It's... amazing. And it looks so tasty, too...

witchcore ricepunk
Jul 6, 2003

The Golden Witch
Who Solved the Epitaph


A Probability of 1/2,578,917
Next time you should encase the whole thing in aspic, for a weird Biodome effect!

minarets
May 12, 2003







one of these things is not like the others

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Scythe
Jan 26, 2004
I can't tell from the pictures whether or not you already thought of this, but I don't think so:

Why not notch the sausages like Lincoln Logs? Then they'd stay together without any skewers and you wouldn't have to do something different for the front. You could probably figure out a reasonable way to build up the walls and get a peak with a sausage crossbar to lay bacon "thatching" over, also.

(For the record, no part of this is disgusting except the lawn. Next time forgo the food coloring jesus christ.)