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Oh, Christ... The geocities site went back up and it's got ANOTHER version of the Journey To Love and it's an actual autobiography, with Kevin ruminating on why he decided to start loving dolls and his obsession with Small Wonder. "The Real Journey To Love--A concise, factual and otherwise detailed story about my love life, starting from my discovery of the show Small Wonder in 1985, ending abruptly early in 2007, leaving things up in the air about what me and my current girlfriend are doing." http://www.geocities.com/casperg1977/The_TJTL_Project/index.html 
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Nov 24, 2008 06:23
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Surfingelectrode posted:"The Real Journey To Love--A concise, factual and otherwise detailed story about my love life, starting from my discovery of the show Small Wonder in 1985, ending abruptly early in 2007, leaving things up in the air about what me and my current girlfriend are doing." Holy poo poo, Motherload. Cali! Get right on searching through this one for ridiculous quotes.
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Nov 24, 2008 09:29
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Surfingelectrode posted:From his LastFM: quote:Your musical compatibility with casperghostboy is Very Low Thank gently caress for that
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Nov 24, 2008 10:27
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Nemesis Of Moles posted:Holy poo poo, Motherload. Cali! Get right on searching through this one for ridiculous quotes. Here are some... This isn't as hilarious as the others, it's just kind of depressing. Kevin Havens, lover posted:Later on that evening, when my parents decided to retire for the evening, I was sent to bed and given my medication for the night, which was supposed to make me sleepy within a few minutes or so of taking it, but this night was an exception. I wasn’t tired yet. So, when my parents fell asleep, I closed my bedroom door and slipped out the catalogs and flipped to wherever the pages that displayed the mannequins for sale within their certain business and got “excited” inside and “down below.” But I didn’t masturbate to them, because I really didn’t know how to masturbate yet. It would be way, way later in my adulthood years to finally learn how to do it. And I didn’t know what the “technical” term for this kind of fetish was called yet, and that would have to wait until I was long into my adult years to find that out also. To put it like this, I thought that I was the only one who felt this way. It would be that way throughout my high school years and somewhat beyond. Kevin Havens, denied love posted:But it seemed like that David really should not have known fully about the mannequin fetish until I was really ready to tell him when I could get a private moment with him. But, it seemed like that afternoon was the telling moment. He found out the hard way. The origin of Beetface posted:So, I was being placed on some medication called “Accutane,” a powerful vitamin A capsule that was supposed to clear up my acne, which was getting very close to the cystic stage (and it did), but dried up my face and my entire skin on my entire body, and also counter-acted my medications. I was, you could say, an rear end in a top hat, because the medication that was supposed to clear up my face also didn’t make my psych meds work correctly. So, I went in to a downward spiral, really didn’t care about my classes, and sure as hell didn’t care about my self health. I stopped taking showers and I also stopped washing my clothes, just throwing the clothes in the bottom of my closet and when I needed to wear it again, I’d just spot clean off any stains by running it under some running water and using my shampoo as a spot cleaner, rinsing the article of clothing and hanging the piece of clothing up to dry, then wear it right after it dried. Even though, my dorm counselors were consistently telling me to wash my clothes “the right way” (in a washing machine) and get rid of that pile of clothes piling up on the bottom floor of the closet that I was using, and wash them, fold them and put them up correctly. But, I’ve never lived on my own in my entire life before Woodrow Wilson, so all of this was new to me. Kevin Havens, badass posted:The mud-slinging about bad things about Davecat kept up after I gathered up enough steam in my head after doing so, I’d write something about it when I found out about it. And on this computer that I’m writing this, there is a song titled “Davecat Ain’t My Bitch,” which was an experiment in fooling around with ID3 tags in MP3 files. It really is just “Ain’t My Bitch” by Metallica off the Load album; I didn’t record new lyrics above the song, because some people (mostly in my family) consider my singing voice “terrible.” I promised myself that I would change back the ID3 info, but once I liked it (I even made an album cover to be displayed in the “Now Playing” section of iTunes—the album’s title is The Best/Worst of The Doll Forum), I kept it and the Metallica song “Ain’t My Bitch,” even though that it got its ID3 tag changed to “Davecat Ain’t My Bitch,” and the inspiration for the title was from that same email that he sent me that had the sentence that said “This isn’t prison, I ain’t your bitch.” So, the inspiration for “Davecat Ain’t My Bitch” came to be. But, I am never going to distribute it over the peer-to-peer file sharing services such as LimeWire, because I have fears that one person who knows Davecat or Davecat himself may be browsing for the actual Metallica song “Ain’t My Bitch” and somehow it would get back to me, because the artist is billed as “CasperGhostboy feat. Alexa, Angie and Jenni Tilbrook.” And everyone knows on TDF that I am known as CasperGhostboy.  There's also his experiences at Beach House, writing TJTL, getting his first doll, meeting and loving Kat (and their zany adventures trying to buy condoms), and Kat being put on suicide watch.
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Nov 24, 2008 14:32
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Surfingelectrode posted:
This is truly epic. Cal, if your brain breaks from reading all this, I pledge to set up a paypal account to help with your recovery. But please, please, keep going. It's so hilarious and awful at the same time, I can't look away.
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Nov 24, 2008 15:40
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April posted:This is truly epic. Cal, if your brain breaks from reading all this, I pledge to set up a paypal account to help with your recovery. But please, please, keep going. It's so hilarious and awful at the same time, I can't look away. It looks like the site went down again. I've got the PDF saved on my computer at home so I'll upload it somewhere reliable later today.
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Nov 24, 2008 17:08
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IT. NEVER. ENDS. The Geocities site is still up. They go down easily if more than, like, 5 people are browsing them at a time. He has a whole folder of pics dedicated to Zero Wing. I shouldn't be surprised, but I am.   By the by, that Daphne mp3 on there would be "Daphne" by Squeeze. He named her after the song. Still staring with disbelief at the main Geocities site. There is a Journey To Love v8.0! There really IS!! And... he claims it doesn't involve A DOLL!!!  !!!Kevin " |
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Nov 24, 2008 17:57
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Sometimes I wish there were a new thread just so that more goons could enjoy the beauty that is Kevin Assburgers prose. Kevin the Red posted:So, read on and you will find out why I started loving mannequins, then silicone dolls, then abruptly Here we go... We learn that Kevin's junk food obsessions started at an early age as his mother gives him hot dogs and Pepsi for dinner and, Little Kev posted:Usually we would head off to the on-base grocery store, called a It sounds like he bitched and whined so much his mother just told him to go on the computer so he would STFU. Little did she know it would begin a Linux/Mac obsessionthe world has never seen. Kevin the younger years posted:I usually would be getting up most of the time during a Kevin the Pedo posted:So, you’re saying, how in the hell can this show afflict my sexual life? It’s a little thing that I found out Kevin the Obsessed posted:However, when my parents  He goes on to go to girls sections of department stores and name the girl mannequins and call one his girlfriend. One thing he constantly says whether in his stories or in posts is "blah blah even though that blah bah." It's so annoying and ridiculous.
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Nov 24, 2008 18:00
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TigerMoJo posted:Sometimes I wish there were a new thread just so that more goons could enjoy the beauty that is Kevin Assburgers prose. I'm strongly considering it. This one's starting to get rather unwieldly. Anyone in agreement just lay down some 5s to see if this can get Goldmined and I'll get to work on an OP for Round 3! Caligasti fucked around with this message at 18:12 on Nov 24, 2008 |
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Nov 24, 2008 18:04
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I tried reading through that Real Journey and couldn't do it. By the second page I had given up on reading and skimmed through a few more pages. Now I want to remove my brain from my skull and give it a soak in soapy water. I think Kevin is what happens when you have someone crazy enough to be a serial killer, but too much of a pussy to actually do any thing violent.
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Nov 24, 2008 18:07
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Holy loving poo poo! I hadn't noticed at first but he has a FILM SCRIPT version of TJTLv5.1 on that GeoCities page!Academy and Emmy Award-hopeful screenwriter Kevin Havens posted:Act one scene one Ffffffuuuuuuccccckkk! !
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Nov 24, 2008 18:35
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quote:Act one scene one I went ahead and fixed up the first couple lines for Kevin.
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Nov 24, 2008 18:40
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^^^^^ Ahahahahaha! That actually sounds more like an interaction between Dave and Shit_Viper. Speaking of those two... The Goons know their roll ""I swear I [u posted:was[/u] goonobyl the whole time!""] ""I swear I [u posted:wasn't[/u] goonobyl! Dave is just THAT brilliant!""] Yeah, whatever Dave  . Jimmy-boy lost your money and account for you because he (and by extension you) were indeed breaking the rules here. You haven't been defrauded... you PAID to get trolled and to troll in kind! You got more than your money's worth in that respect. Also, why on earth are you using a screenshot from Shit_Viper's desktop? We all know that he is the one obsessed with space shuttles and rocketships, not you. Such a sad attempt at a mindfuck, you losers. May Lowtax wipe his rear end with your  .
Caligasti fucked around with this message at 18:59 on Nov 24, 2008 |
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Nov 24, 2008 18:55
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We all called it. He's acting like he won some victory over us, and then whines about how he didn't break any rules. Not only was he account sharing, pretty much a bannable offense on any forum or game, but he also broke just about every other rule here including image leeching, signing posts, multi-postng like a madman, admitted trolling, using about a billion catchphrases and Internet-speak, worthless posting, flaming, not respecting Ozma (an admin), using offensive terms just to be offensive, and being probated and continuing to do the thing for which he was probated. Da Rules posted:We here on the Something Awful Forums are very elitist and strict assholes. We pride ourselves on running one of the most entertaining and troll-free forums on the internet. This is accomplished by charging a $10 fee to filter out folks not serious about adhering to the rules, and banning those who manage to slip through and break them. We are very serious about keeping our forums clean and troll-free, so please consider your account an investment and treat it accordingly. You want to pride yourself on "trolling" us, then you get banned. Here's some helpful information, since I know you're reading Pit Hockey. Da Rules posted:What If I Get Banned? This can all be found here: http://www.somethingawful.com/d/forum-rules/forum-rules.php?page=1
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Nov 24, 2008 19:18
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quote:I think I'll lodge a complaint with VISA and get my membership fees back at the very least. Now here is a phone call that I would like to hear. quote:
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Nov 24, 2008 20:09
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Thank you for calling Visa customer service, how may I help you?
Yes, this is David Hockey. I was unjustly banned from an internet forum, and I want you to do a charge back on them.
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I dont know about you guys but the "They can dish it out but cant take it" comment was pretty great too. Yep Vips, you and your razor sharp wit certainly cut ME down!
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Nov 24, 2008 20:15
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From TJTLv8.0..."I keep Babylon and on!" posted:Regardless of forgiving Sears, but not “Kelly” and this customer, I fell back to going to D’Signers Boutique to see this mannequin, which I did name Vanessa at first. Most of my visits to Vanessa and Luz were spent with a few minutes speaking and kissing Vanessa/Jennifer, then going to speak to Luz for a good while and possibly going home with a few catalogs, mostly the Dann Dee catalog. That she had plenty to give away. A couple of times I got other catalogs, one that was called “The All-In-One Fixture Company.” It had pages among pages of mannequins for sale, mostly about eight or ten pages full of mannequins for sale. Even though it was a black-and-white catalog (since they claimed low prices, it seemed like that’s why they printed their catalog in monochrome), but most of their mannequins were $500 and under. That seemed like a good price, because I could attempt to save up some cash in my bank account (which I had a savings account at that time and find some way to send off either a money order or some kind of check to one of them to get the object of my dreams. (I never did. Each paycheck and each extra money that came in, whether birthday money or odd-job money got spent on 7-Eleven Big Gulp “Suicide” [mixed fountain soda] drinks and Big Bite hot dogs. It never went into my account.) So that's how he picks names out.  .His freind John sounds... "interesting"... "Mah college buddy was a Nintendo-loving furry!" posted:I liked John Harris as a good “college” (Woodrow Wilson is considered a disabled persons’ college) friend, but one thing that I didn’t like about him was that he was a die-hard Nintendo fanboy. He even told me that it would be a “cold day in Hell” when Sonic The Hedgehog gets released on a Nintendo system. His nightmare came true when Sonic games were released for the Game Boy Advance and the GameCube back in 2002 or so. Ditto for the PlayStation 2 and the Xbox. And to make matters even worse, you can buy Sega Genesis games, which includes the first Sonic game, on the Nintendo Wii Shop Channel, for 800 points (roughly $8). He hated Sega with a passion. He even created his own comic book hero, called “Tanooki John,” which was based on the same suit in Super Mario Brothers 3 that basically gave the same powers as the Raccoon suit, but allowed you to freeze in a statue-like state for five or so seconds in case of danger. His “Tanooki John” character fought the “evils” of Sonic, and had Dr. Robotnik on his side. As far as I know, there were only two Tanooki John comic books ever made, and I believe that John kept both of them. I wonder if John eventually got to the internet? And about his nemesis at Beach House... "Debbie Wilcher is EVIL!" posted:But the real meat of this part is that Debbie Wilcher tried her hardest to stop me from loving mannequins. She even gave the permission to have Janice Schoger monitor my home directory for any “questionable” documents that I may have typed up about mannequins and giving her full authorization to remove the said offending document, or replace it with a “dummy” file, which when I opened the file, it would open in WordPerfect, the MS-DOS word processor that members could use (only staff could use Windows at that time, members had to be restricted to the MS-DOS environment only), stating that the document was “inappropriate” for storage on a city computer system and if the file or something similar was placed again on the system, my computer privileges would be revoked. Whenever I brought in a Dann Dee catalog, it was removed if I left it out of my sight and she found it, it was contained to a place out of my sight and discarded at the end of the day in the dumpster. My god! So he's sneaking in mannequin magazines for wank material, then later he tries to rip Beach House off in an attempt to get a real mannequin to masterbate too, then gets upset when he's revealed to be a fraud?!  indeed!Ah, and the origins of The Journey To Love... " |
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Nov 24, 2008 20:35
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Hahahaa! We can't take it? That coming from the guy who's response to anything is "I'm a-gonna sue!" Jesus, Hockey is such a little bitch-manchild. You know I was always against the goonobyl account being banned, despite the continual breaking of the rules. Why? Because I knew, I loving well knew that no matter how far ahead we called it, no matter how many itenerations of the senerio we made up, Hockey would do *exactally* what we predicted he'd do and actualy be serious about it. I wanted to save myself from that small moment of disbelief on my part. Three cheers for Debbie Wilcher!
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Nov 24, 2008 20:53
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Caligasti posted:I'm strongly considering it. This one's starting to get rather unwieldly. Anyone in agreement just lay down some 5s to see if this can get Goldmined and I'll get to work on an OP for Round 3! I second this. Maybe call it 'Images of Loving Part Three: The Fantasies and Musings of a Dollfucker' or something. I'd say we should focus more on Kevin because Hockey and Shit_Viper just aren't funny any more. Don't forget that v8.0 was written literally a month or two before Daphne entered his life, so that statement that he was over dolls didn't last very long. This TJTL is fascinating to me because it shows the roots of all of his crazy obsessions. Seriously, anyone who lets Squeeze and Small Wonder dictate their life is hosed up. And that huge feud with Davecat that always talks about? Here's how it started: Kevin Havens, friend posted:I opened an IM window and shot off a question of “yt?” (meaning “you there?”) to signal that I’m ready to talk and to see if he was there. The reply, which was automated, came back that said “I’m busy getting a drink out ov a glass ov water! Ahhh!” I shot back a “?” meaning I didn’t understand what he said. The same automated reply came back. I said that I’ll talk to him in a few minutes, when he “finished his glass ov water.” I then closed the window and kept Yahoo IM open, but in the background. I then steered Mozilla Firefox to TDF and searched for a few messages to reply to. About an hour later, I reopened another IM window to see if Davecat was ready to talk, but the same automated message kept on coming. DAVECAT  We have to find that blog. Seriously. And Kat's suicide attempt: Kevin Havens, lover posted:Then about an hour later, I got a call from Kat. I seemed relieved at that moment, but I got worried when I found out that she was at Norfolk General for “suicide watch” because of four trigger points: her phone was disconnected that morning, her sister blaming her for everything; Melanie and Jason threatening to break us up because of what Melanie and Jason had seen Kat to be “bitchy” and that wasn’t “acceptable,” among other things. Right when she started to cry, the nurse took the phone from her and said that there was to be “no crying” on the phone, then the nurse got on the line and told me that she would call me back “tomorrow” when she “is better.” I didn’t get any explanation of what was truly wrong with Kat, even when I asked the nurse, but all that was said by the nurse was “She cannot talk right now, and I’m taking the phone away. Bye.” I was infuriated at the nurse’s actions that she couldn’t take the time to explain what was wrong with Kat, just she told me that she cannot talk, neither could Kat, and that she was taking the phone away. And something else I found... Kat is a political activist! The Y.E.A.! Disability Advocacy Group Surfingelectrode fucked around with this message at 20:59 on Nov 24, 2008 |
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Nov 24, 2008 20:54
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Surfingelectrode posted:
I'll get the ball rolling on that. Here's his youtube http://www.youtube.com/user/Davecat I'm pretty sure this is his blog http://www.kuroneko-chan.com/echoes/ His Myspace http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=225086076 A blogger profile http://www.blogger.com/profile/3972975 And Wordpress http://wordpress.com/tag/davecat/ And either he or a Hockey-ish person is being nice to him in Urban Dictionary. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Davecat
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Nov 24, 2008 21:16
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Is the complete and antisocial selfishness that Kevin displays common or typical among Asperberger's people?
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Nov 24, 2008 21:22
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I'm goldmining, once a new thread is posted by whomever I think anyone who has posted info in the last page or so ought to repost. Though one thing: let's keep family member myspace stuff out of it, Kevin's family is tortured enough by his mere existence so I think we should let them be.
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Nov 24, 2008 21:28
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