My wife bought the best teapot ever - The Something Awful Forums

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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > My wife bought the best teapot ever

ZenMaster: Jan 23, 2006; You died hideously! Press fire.

I can't stop looking at it.

I want to play with it.

Horrified!

Ready for a night on the town.

Debilitating injury!

Laying down the law.

It watches me now and then. It thinks I don't know, but oh... I KNOW.

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:05

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 19, 2013 11:24

ToastyPotato: Jun 23, 2005; CONVICTED OF DISPLAYING HIS PEANUTS IN PUBLIC

If you are alone in the house and you see that poo poo move you get RIGHT THE gently caress OUT you hear me?

Also how much was it and where did it come from?

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:06

President Unerlion: May 3, 2008; by Ozmaugh

how the gently caress does that thing work?

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:07

Cairo Dog: May 1, 2008; The Ruskies are coming! Run away!

So how do you make tea with that huge hole in it?

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:07

pintle: Aug 3, 2007; to err is human, dear fez

Hear me shout indeed

But how does it work?

E: beaten on asking so what.. SO WHAT HUH?

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:08

Shibaz: May 17, 2004; This poster is not good. Really not good. Bad, basically.

This is amazing, voted 5.

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:08

RICKON WALNUTSBANE: Jun 13, 2001

How does it work?

efb

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:08

let's dance: Oct 29, 2004; You don't really even need to understand what the hell I'm saying to know I'm a genius -Bob Dylan

It doesn't look like it would hold tea very well.

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:08

Designer0: Jun 7, 2008; Experience
Producer
Extraordinaire

seeing that you probably have a SLR camera in your house you should probably be able to take a bit sharper photos. if you do i will certainly give it my best.

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:09

grumpy: Aug 30, 2004

I'd hate to see the matching teacups and saucers that would match such a ghastly pot.

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:10

dynendal: Aug 13, 2006; ..with Sexy Results!

Awesome teapot. You should stain it brown and give it teeth and call it Domo-kun-pot!

Also, this is completely random, but I am calling you out on the third picture - that's a bottle of Lens Cleaner from Sunglass Hut. You weren't planning on poisoning the little guy were you?

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:11

Shibaz: May 17, 2004; This poster is not good. Really not good. Bad, basically.

Be our guest, be our guest, put our serrrrvice to the test!

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:11

ms-dos: Nov 6, 2005; This night you are mistaken; I'm a farmer in the city.

I think he's horrified that his creator made him the world's worst teapot. It's the same look that a harlequin baby gives God.

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:12

Banner: Mar 30, 2008; The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss

That is awesome. Please put fangs and a cape on it.

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:12

A Perturbed Parrot: Nov 10, 2005; He was the kind of person who kept a parrot.

53504 posted:

That is awesome. Please put fangs and a cape on it.

Dractulea!

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:15

Big Wreck: Feb 8, 2004

Get drunk and awkwardly gently caress its mouth.

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:16

Anemia: Mar 28, 2002; Felix El Cartuela

For everyone wondering how it works: It's meant for candles, not tea.

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:17

HauntedRobot: Jun 22, 2002; an excellent mod
a simple map to my heart
now give me tilt shift

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:17

rockcity: Jan 16, 2004

Cairo Dog posted:

So how do you make tea with that huge hole in it?

I'm guessing the huge hole is for a candle and that the water only goes partway down. I'm not sure what those other two holes are doing though.

edit: Beat on the candle thought.

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:17

Banner: Mar 30, 2008; The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss

If you can find two pieces of black paper or tape, make eyebrows.

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:17

status: Feb 18, 2003; what.

Give him some angry eyebrows. Then he would truly be a badass

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:18

Fudgement Day: Mar 30, 2007; Keep On Walkin In The Free World

Bink posted:

Give him some angry eyebrows. Then he would truly be a badass

And then reverse them for some empathy.

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:18

Johnny Walker: Jun 14, 2005; I've got a home for
Bloggers Let's exchange
ideas,stories and photos
with friendly writers
and editors.

Anemia posted:

For everyone wondering how it works: It's meant for candles, not tea.

It's a candleholder in the shape of a teapot or the candle heats the tea or what?

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:20

caveman thug shit: Jan 27, 2007; STREET SMART

I'm a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle, here is my face of absolute shock and horror Jesus this tea is loving HOT.

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:23

Feet Slash Birds: Feb 5, 2008; I demanded real money for internet risk and this is the result

ANGRY EYEBROWS \ /

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:24

DeviouslyInclined: Jun 12, 2006; Official Meme Generator

Kettles unite!

Here's my beloved chicken kettle:

DeviouslyInclined fucked around with this message at Aug 15, 2008 around 18:33

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:24

NotJust4Breakfast: Feb 13, 2002; Sweet but Crude

Bink posted:

Give him some angry eyebrows. Then he would truly be a badass

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:26

Cannon_Fodder: Jul 17, 2007; "Hey, where did Steve go?"
Design by Kamoc

A great investment!

You should make a picture-a-day FuriousTeapot Calendar!

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:30

Crispy_Rapcakes: Apr 9, 2007; by Peatpot

DeviouslyInclined posted:

Teapots unite!

Here's my beloved chicken teapot:

I hate to be a pedantic prick on the internet but that right there is a kettle, not a tea pot.

*edit: I should add though that it's loving awesome.

*edit edit: Wait, do you put that thing on the stove or what?

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:31

DeviouslyInclined: Jun 12, 2006; Official Meme Generator

Fiiine. I'll change it :/

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:32

sexy olorin: Apr 14, 2008; Workin' the corners of Azeroth.

This thread has such odd timing. I had a teapot shatter on me early in the morning at work the other day. I found a portion of the pot hanging from my finger with a nice 1/2" gash bleeding all over. This has made my day!! I really need a teapot now and this one i really cool.

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:36

Alfredo Pangea: Aug 19, 2007; In Pangea, first you get the head, Then you get the money.

Finally a teapot for the lesser known Zelda enemies.

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:37

Bundle of Keys: Jul 3, 2007

Now you just need a pair of teacups shaped like wacky burglars.

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:40

Johnny Walker: Jun 14, 2005; I've got a home for
Bloggers Let's exchange
ideas,stories and photos
with friendly writers
and editors.

Alfredo Pangea posted:

Finally a teapot for the lesser known Zelda enemies.

Holy poo poo!

I hated those guys.

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:41

Nthman: Nov 3, 2004; Creepy

Put him next to Picard with some earl gray tea in his gaping maw.

# ? Aug 15, 2008 18:43

Tyrannosaurus: Apr 12, 2006; After a long history of behavior problems, the on-air attack of Ed McMahon was the last straw. The courts ruled that the band’s drummer, Anima