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CrackTsunami posted:I work on a team managing a WAN/LAN that is state-wide (NSW, AU) and has 180 campuses attached with at least ten switches for each location. It's really awesome to get calls like this - no location, an incorrect phone number and that's it. It'd be nice even if they told us where they were so we could check the switch for alarms. Please tell me you are not from the DET 
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Dec 5, 2008 03:43
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I found out yesterday that some of the internal devs write code in batch scripts Only reason I know is because one of the managers came over to me and asked me to help him figure out why a script wasn't working. A dev had written it who was out on vacation, and he'd been trying to find out for 2 days. Turns out that the script takes a directory structure as an argument, and splits each level into an argument. It's supposed to be run against one 4 levels deep, but it was written to if it doesn't get a fifth, it won't run and spits out a vauge debug error.
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Dec 5, 2008 03:59
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boo_radley posted:How does food service intersect with HIPAA? Is this for a hospital cafeteria? Google solves all of your problems, you know. poo poo, that's the wrong link, where did that tab go....
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Dec 5, 2008 04:17
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boo_radley posted:How does food service intersect with HIPAA? Is this for a hospital cafeteria? HIPAA is usually only involved with patient diet office/room service stuff, but there's a few sites that integrated everything so the patients can go to the main cafeteria and charge it to their hospital bill.
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Dec 5, 2008 04:27
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UserNotFound posted:.xls association: Slightly random, but how the hell do you do this in Vista?
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Dec 5, 2008 06:55
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unruly posted:I really wish I this was made up. I really do. Reply to the ticket: "Yes it does."
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Dec 5, 2008 07:01
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I work in On-Site Support for a large Australian Government Department, so I go out and fix things that Help Desk can't, either because it's a physical issue or because they don't know how. Here are two tickets that we have received, with the titles Help Desk gave them. **URGENT PC NEWS** Have you confirmed client's details: Yes FAQ Search Conducted for fixes: Yes Problem: - client called to advise that her pc was really noisy - she also advised that her pc would not work and she had tried a few others which did not work Detail Attempted Fix: - could onsite please assist? Reference Number Given: Yes HER PC WOULD NOT WORK AND SHE HAD TRIED A FEW OTHERS WHICH DID NOT WORK. Okay, I will apply the 'make pc work' patch'. KEYBOPARD NOT WORKING Have you confirmed client's details: Yes client know on 6th floor Problem:most buttons on keybpard are not working. water appear to be leaking out. can onsite please assist? Error Message(s):nil Detail Attempted Fix:cl;ient is using another kepboard at the present When was the last time this worked successfully?today Does client have a work around?yes Reference Number Given: Yes] Besides the obvious reason for this one, I like that the Help Desk person didn't spell keyboard correctly once.
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Dec 5, 2008 07:28
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sanchez posted:Even if they were great at their actual job? We only exist to allow them to work more effectively, if that includes loading paper, so be it. We regularly send users on basic computer usage courses. An informal/playful day with someone who tolerates technologically retarded people often does wonders.
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Dec 5, 2008 09:05
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amerrykan posted:Technicians who insert carriage returns This is modern poetry.
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Dec 5, 2008 11:05
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One day the receptionist came running to my desk, with a very panicked voice. The problem ? She managed to cut her phone wire. Not one of those tiny regular one, no, a bigass one of those huge "my phone has a shitload of lines" wire thing. How the gently caress did that happen ? She decided to move her phone on the other side of her desk, but since the wires were going trough a zip tie (not even tightened, just a loose loop to hold the wires up) she used the biggest scissors she could find to cut the zip tie, and managed to cut the phone line at the same time. The kicker ? Her desk doesn't have a hole for wires on the other side, so she can't move her phone there.
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Dec 5, 2008 12:44
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Other details: When Tammie tries to print to xxxxxxx she can only print to the "open tray". She has needs to print to the "closed tray". Im not even sure what this means, but I have no doubt that its just end user stupidity.
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Dec 5, 2008 14:53
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Chunky Monkey posted:Other details: When Tammie tries to print to xxxxxxx she can only print to the "open tray". She has needs to print to the "closed tray". If it's a LaserJet, then it means her computer settings are defaulting to Tray 1, which is a fold-out tray that you use for odd-sized paper. The 'closed tray' is likely tray 2 or 3, which are the normal letter paper trays which sit under the printer.
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Dec 5, 2008 15:32
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Chunky Monkey posted:Other details: When Tammie tries to print to xxxxxxx she can only print to the "open tray". She has needs to print to the "closed tray". Manual feed maybe? I dunno I love trying to decipher vague tickets before I even call someone back.
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Dec 5, 2008 15:38
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Got KarmA? posted:When a ticket comes in to build a server, install a new site, configure a client FTP, troubleshoot client connectivity issues, architect the production configuration for a new product, or anything at all? Agreed. The pay probably isn't as good but being the sole IT manager of a small company, and making all the decisions from the ground up does have it's upsides. Also seconding the 'Network is slow' or the 'Internet is slow' complaints. I realize not everyone is a technical guru but even a wee bit more description would be helpful.
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Dec 5, 2008 16:01
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r.mutt posted:Agreed. The pay probably isn't as good but being the sole IT manager of a small company, and making all the decisions from the ground up does have it's upsides. Been getting 15-20% raises yearly  Edit: Part of a 3-man team counting my working manager - we were about to add a fourth and make me more of an official team lead before the economy went and hosed itself and there's a hiring freeze. I doubt I'll ever be able to go back to a large corporation. I've been there, done that. Such fine partitioning of responsibilities cause such nightmares getting anything done. Got KarmA? fucked around with this message at 16:19 on Dec 5, 2008 |
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Dec 5, 2008 16:07
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I'm quite surprised no one's mentioned the Chronicles of George yet : http://chroniclesofgeorge.nanc.com/
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Dec 5, 2008 16:36
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I've read those before, I was havening a good laugh.
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Dec 5, 2008 17:20
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ZippySLC posted:At my job we're Mr. Fix-It plus Guardians of the Thermostat. Ha! For some reason it was decided to move the Thermostat for an entire hallway to my office. Maybe it has something to do with all the heat being generated in here.
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Dec 5, 2008 18:45
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ab0z posted:I've read those before, I was havening a good laugh. I keep meaning to use "havening" more often in my daily speech.
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Dec 5, 2008 18:53
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Revenant.Eagle posted:Slightly random, but how the hell do you do this in Vista? Regedit & search for the .xls extension... In the Vista file association thingy you can only select executables and its not possible to add arguments...
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Dec 5, 2008 19:22
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I just got a call: "My computer is locked up." "Okay, go ahead and hold down the power button for a couple of seconds...." "Where's that? What's a power button?" Then later she said there was a problem with her password, but it's because she typed it incorrectly.
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Dec 5, 2008 19:40
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ab0z posted:Yes, for a couple years now. And if I was a manager with these clowns working for me, I'd fire them all. this has been pointed out but in what crazy world can IT fire people for "being bad users" yes, I fired everyone in HR because they complained about the password policy.
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Dec 5, 2008 19:58
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Commissar posted:I just got a call: "mY eMAIL KEEPS SAYING pASSWORD iNCORRECT FIX IT"
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Dec 5, 2008 19:58
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I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR TOTAL LACK OF CUSTOMER SERVICE!!!I AM STILL RECEIVING THE SAME F***ING ERROR AND ALL OF YOUR A**ININE SUGGESTIONS HAVE DONE ABSOLUTELY NOTIHING!!! NOTHING!!! NOTHING!!! TO RESOLVE THE F***ING ISSUE. FIX YOUR G** D***ED WEBSITE SO THAT I CAN DOWNLOAD AND INSTALL MY GAME. AT THIS POINT I AM READY TO REPORT THIS BULL**** TO THE FTC AND SEE WHAT THEY CAN DO TO FORCE YOU TO ASSIGN AN AMERICAN WHO CAN READ AND SPEAK AMERICAN TO RESOLVE THIS ISSUE AND NOT JUST SOME LOWLIFE FROM A FOREIGN COUNTRY WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT. I WANT A SOLUTION NOT STOCK ANSWERS FROM YOUR KNOWLEDGEBASE WEBSITE. I HAVE TRIED EVERY SOLUTION YOUR HELPLESS WEBSITE HAS SUGGESTED AND I CANNOT DOWNLOAD MY GAME. I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DOWNLOAD OTHER GAMES FROM YOUR WEBSITE SO I KNOW IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE WAY YOU HAVE SET UP THE DOWNLOAD FOR THIS GAME. FIX IT G*** D*** IT. NO MORE BULL****, NO MORE STOCK ANSWERS. READ THE ERROR CODE FIGURE OUT WHY YOUR WEBSITE DOESN'T WORK AND FIX IT!!! FIX IT!!! FIX IT!!! I DON'T WNAT ANOTHER APOLOGY I WNAT A SOLUTION, YOU KNOW THAT'S WHERE YOU DO SOMETHING THAT FIXES THE ERROR. TRY THAT INSTEAD OF CONTINUING TO PRACTICE YOUR ILLETERACY ON AN UNSUSPECTING AMERICAN PUBLIC. (Censorship his)
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Dec 5, 2008 20:19
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Commissar posted:Then later she said there was a problem with her password, but it's because she typed it incorrectly. I got a call this morning (that I later submitted on their behalf as a ticket for propriety's sake) that an office manager (the one that's the reason I carry a voice recorded on off-site calls and who has been very polite since being caught plain and simple in a complete fabrication about me to the CFO) is receiving an "account has been locked" notification. I explained that these usually result from too many failed login attempts and unlocked the account from their site's server while she swore up and down that she had definitely not attempted to log in prior to receiving the message. Also what the hell: SA Banner Ad posted:Www Awful Plastic Surgery Why yes, I sure need me some www awful plastic surgery! URL provided has "The Resource Guide for WWW Awful Plastic Surgery Lover" splashed on the front page.
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Dec 5, 2008 20:20
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Midelne posted:I explained that these usually result from too many failed login attempts and unlocked the account from their site's server while she swore up and down that she had definitely not attempted to log in prior to receiving the message. Actually, this isn't entirely unusual, a few months ago we had a string of events where users would just get locked out for no reason in particular, they would come into work in the morning and be locked out, or just be working and suddenly be locked out. Had to work with Microsoft directly to resolve the issue.
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Dec 5, 2008 20:26
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Figured I'd toss this dialog out there from when I was working on a helpdesk. Hi there! I'm having a problem with my monitor, it seems to keep turning off randomly! Okay, how long has that been happening? A few weeks, when it happens I need to reboot my computer to fix it. Your computer, huh? Yup. It tends to happen after I've been away for a while. So it's happening right now, right? Yup. There should be a light next to the power button, it might be off, green, or amber. What color is it? Amber. *tenatively* Have you ... tried moving your mouse? *pause* Ohhhhhhh*Random banter about power saving and how embarrassed she is* No problem ma'am, that sort of thing confuses a lot of people.  
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Dec 5, 2008 20:33
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I got a ticket last week saying that one of my windows users had a virus that was deleting all of her files. I had not received any alerts from our antivirus server so I went upstairs to check on it. She demonstrated the problem to me: Every time she opened a Word doc, all of the text started deleting itself, almost as if someone was holding down the backspace key. I pushed her keyboard drawer down, as she had it jammed up against the underside of the desk.
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Dec 5, 2008 20:49
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I had to stick around late the other night to perform some maintenance on one of our SQL servers. Yesterday, one of the managers came into my cube and started bitching about how I "broke the reports" and that I needed to fix them ASAP. First off, "broke the reports" doesn't tell me poo poo. We have god knows how many different sets of reports for different applications. It took five minutes to work out which reports he was talking about in the first place. I pulled up the reporting site, logged in, and followed his directions to reproduce the problem (the report defaults to show data in the current month, so 12/1/2008 to 1/1/2009). I changed the dates to what he wanted (11/28/2008 to 12/2/2008) and it worked fine. We spent fifteen minutes going through different combinations that he had worked out. Each time, the numbers that came up were right. He took me back to his desk to show me what was going on. He pulled the reports up, logged in, and changed the dates. "See!", he yelled, "The numbers are all messed up!" "Yeah, that's because you're running a report from 11/28/2008 to 12/2/2009, you dumbass." 
Boogeyman fucked around with this message at 21:08 on Dec 5, 2008 |
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Dec 5, 2008 20:51
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I just got this today, not so much a ticket but it could have been if I hadn't caught wind of it. I'll preface by saying I support 1500 desktops with my two co-workers at my current place of employment and I don't mean to brag but considering the amount of work that's done in our department, the three of us on desktops do the most out of everyone and I not only deal with desktops but application implementations and server support. We tend to get shat on because we carry the forever loathed stigma in IT that "Desktops aren't important." Self Absorbed Lazy Network Admin: "Hey n0manarmy I hope you don't mind but we agreed to put IIS on your server yesterday in that meeting. Me: "WTF, why would you agree to put IIS on my server with out talking to me?! It's already running Apache AND Tomcat?" Self Absorbed Lazy Network Admin: "Oh it is? I didn't know that! Maybe we should have invited you to the meeting." Me: *Rabbid dialing of telephone to reach Easily Influenced Server Administrator* Me: "Easily Influenced Server Administrator don't put IIS on that server! It's already got Apache and Tomcat on it and putting a third web engine on there isn't going to help." Easily Influenced Server Administrator: "Well IT Boss Who Wants To Make Everyone Happy Said to do it so I already went ahead and did it. Maybe we should have included you in that meeting yesterday" Me: *A horrid torrent of cursing* Me: "Well you might as well take it off of there because you're not going to figure out how to get the website for Self Absorbed Lazy Network Admin working!" A half hour later I walk in on Easily Influenced Server Admin and Self Absorbed Lazy Network Admin as they sit there scratching their heads, completely confused as to why IIS isn't working. The entire time if they'd had figured to include me on the addition of software to a server that I setup and manage they would have learned right away that IIS doesn't play well with other web engines and that it was already setup to handle the tasks they needed it to do. I guess they felt that since I was technically a "Desktop Support Person" that it doesn't matter. n0manarmy fucked around with this message at 00:45 on Dec 6, 2008 |
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Dec 5, 2008 20:52
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Ticket: 1882 Summary: User is unable to load CD media, states that IT gave her a "fake drive" Description: User is unable to load CD media; when putting a CD-Rom into the drive tray and closing it, a grinding noise is heard and the CD-Rom ejects. User states that she was given a "fake" drive by IT and it was never hooked up properly. Resolution: User has a desktop PC she was using as a tower. User was placing CD on the under-side of the CD-Rom tray, where the mechanical gears and drive pulley system are located. Placed CD-Rom on the correct side and user was able to see it in "My Computer." Operator error; Closing ticket... -- God i wish I were kidding...... EDIT: We have a #sysadmin channel on irc.synirc.net if anyone is interested ... talking about tickets last week someone said (paraphrasing) "Escalated first level support tickets read like you've converted them to Korean in Babelfish then back to English." Truer words were never spoken... highmeh fucked around with this message at 20:56 on Dec 5, 2008 |
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Dec 5, 2008 20:52
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Ashex posted:Actually, this isn't entirely unusual, a few months ago we had a string of events where users would just get locked out for no reason in particular, they would come into work in the morning and be locked out, or just be working and suddenly be locked out. Had to work with Microsoft directly to resolve the issue. This particular user has a habit of lying about verifiable things to IT. A bit after I posted, I checked the logs on her site's server out of curiosity and found eight failed logins for her user account on her workstation in her (closed and locked unless you are her with her key) office between 8:01:13AM and 8:03:56AM. She starts work at 8:00AM and called me at 8:15AM. I don't care if users get locked out -- poo poo happens, and it's even happened to me once, but why lie about it? It just makes things more difficult to diagnose and fix if it's even slightly complicated.
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Dec 5, 2008 21:10
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Midelne posted:This particular user has a habit of lying about verifiable things to IT. A bit after I posted, I checked the logs on her site's server out of curiosity and found eight failed logins for her user account on her workstation in her (closed and locked unless you are her with her key) office between 8:01:13AM and 8:03:56AM. She starts work at 8:00AM and called me at 8:15AM. Sometimes I'll ask users for their password to log in as them and I hear "I don't know" in a tone of voice that's almost saying "Why the hell would I know my own password, you incompetent rube?!"
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Dec 6, 2008 00:29
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Gorfob posted:Please tell me you are not from the DET No but my fiance works on the data warehouse team there and things appear to be just as bad.
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Dec 6, 2008 02:42
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Midelne posted:I don't care if users get locked out -- poo poo happens, and it's even happened to me once, but why lie about it? It just makes things more difficult to diagnose and fix if it's even slightly complicated. some people just can't accept responsibility for anything, even trivial things like forgetting their password or case number. I've had users call in and say "the person I talked to before didn't give me a case number", then I find the case by searching for the site name and see that I was the person they talked to before, and I know I gave them the case number. sometimes they get really angry about it too. "what is it with you people and your case numbers? just connect me to a tech already" and then they yell at the tech for not already knowing who they are and what their problem is.
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Dec 6, 2008 03:07
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From my ancient ticket database The Tickets posted:Ticket Opener: ekarats4
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Dec 6, 2008 03:46
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Oh my god, that's loving amazing. Was this user terminated entirely or did they simply have their support revoked?
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Dec 6, 2008 03:55
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Got KarmA? posted:Oh my god, that's loving amazing. Deleting the security roles (as opposed to making them only able to access Word or something) was termination. From what I know of this (I came in late on the game) she was only there for two weeks and had something like 25 tickets. I can't directly search on the originator, I can only search by ticket ID and guys working on it so I can't pull them all in one groady punchbowl of humiliation. Worse was, this company charged your department for the time you used IT. Each of those tickets was at least $25 plus the equipment rental and loss (a basic handycam, so like $750 or $1000 at the time to replace, and like $50 per week to rent). So she cost her department somewhere around $1425 in two weeks. I think her boss just got tired of her.
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Dec 6, 2008 04:02
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Got KarmA? posted:Oh my god, that's loving amazing. Destruction of property is generally something that can easily lead to termination. If I were a management position in that company, I'd can her rear end immediately when I heard of this bullshit.
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Dec 6, 2008 04:05
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How about more! It takes me a couple minutes for each because I can't quite remember how to work this horrible DOS application from the 1920's and it helpfully gives you no real hint of what keys do what. So I have crashed it quite a few times by trying to access features that don't work outside the server it was on. (Don't hit "A" in the action box. It hard locks and I can't remember what A was supposed to do  )This is why you don't build things internally with a team of monkeys going wild on punch cards during the flapper movement. quote:Ticket Opener: jhull
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Dec 6, 2008 04:31
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