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Well, some would tell you it's a comedy spoof. There's no comedy. The jokes are terrible. It's not a spoof. It's a ripoff. Of what? Star Wars, Back to the Future, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Star Wars, James Bond, The Matrix, Star Wars, and my god more Star Wars. Lucas should sue. My wife and I just finished watching this movie. Thankfully the theatre was empty, because I could not have kept my mouth shut through that. The real problem here is the movie was made by Christians. We were guessing Mormons, but I'm pretty sure this was the work of your family values evangelicals. It's written and directed by Ray Griggs, the same guy who brought you Lucifer (which I have not seen but understand is a film rending of the Biblical story of Satan). So how did this make the movie terrible? The direction was terrible. I don't think they had the budget to redo takes. The timing and delivery of lines was just way off. We're talking community/high school theatre bad. The script was also terrible. The jokes were unoriginal and sophomoric. The family values bullshit was annoying. The protagonist's super power is the power of prayer. He didn't know he had a super power until he was thrown in front of a minotaur and began to pray to God. God deus ex machina-ed an escape, and that's how he found his super power. One of the super heroes is vain. He was defeated by a bad guy when the bad guy noticed he was going grey and getting a little fat. The vain hero runs away and cries. In an attempt to save the situation, the protagonist gives him a pep talk telling him he's fit and very handsome. The vain hero then asks, "Are you gay?" Protagonist responds to the negative, which only proves how handsome the vain character actually is. This is an example of the movie's so-called humor. There were two black characters. One was called Sarge. His lines were terrible, and so was his acting. That can be excused. The other black character was Mr. Smith number 2. He was Mr. Smith's twin brother. He was a big black man. All he did was emphatically "Yeah!" after the white Mr. Smith gave and order. It was embarrassing to watch. There were two female characters. One threw fire, the other threw ice. One was slutty, the other chaste. One was evil, the other good. Their only on-screen motivation so far as I could tell was their pursuit of the male protagonist. I'm blanking on who delivered the line and why (again, this movie sucked) but someone said: "You don't really believe global warming is caused by man, do you?" I think it was the protagonist. Whoever it was, they were dead serious. Okay. So there were parts I grit my teeth or rolled my eyes and said "Man, that could have been interpreted as racist/homophobic/politically motivated/sexist/lame." What was worse still was the aforementioned ripping off of the classics. The showdown between the protagonist and the bad guy at the end was a ripoff of Return of the Jedi. Not a spoof - there were multiple instances of line for line copying. The protagonist actually stops and says, "Hey. This is right out of Return of the Jedi." The bad guy then tells him he's the protagonist's father. The superhero RV the team drives around in has a Y-shaped glowing light set up in the back. "What's that do?" "It makes time travel possible." The hero squad had a British guy who made gadgets. His name was Q. Q had a robot who looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger and gave such classic lines as "Hasta la vista, baby" and "I'll be back." He also called people girlie men. They did similar things with the Matrix and Bill and Ted. Finally, religion. It was in the beginning when you learn the protagonist's parents made sure he always went to church and always watched some lame fake super hero show. The protagonist wore "I love Jesus" boxers. The protagonist's use of prayer saved him from death twice. The Devil smiles beside the bad guy at the end as he plummets to his doom. The insertion of religion was hamfisted, and the rest of movie had nothing redeeming to forgive it. My wife and I have been looking for reviews, and they're pretty scant. Do people even know this movie exists? Really, if you're looking for a bad movie - take the Pepsi challenge with this one. I am going to go as far as to say that this sucked more than Twilight and, yes, even Battlefield Earth. This, and I don't say this without a broad background for comparison, is the single worst movie I have ever seen. Dicere fucked around with this message at 08:30 on Mar 23, 2009 |
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Mar 23, 2009 08:23
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