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Diamonds are Forever (1971)  Bond: Sean Connery The Evil Mastermind: It's a secret...buwahahaha! The Henchperson: Nancy Boy #1 and #2. The Bond Girl: Jill St. John as Tifanny Case. Director: Guy Hamilton Scripting: Richard Maibaum et. al. IMDB:http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066995/ Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2C-3xGpP1Y https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2C-3xGpP1Y "I didn't know there was a pool down there. " - Nameless Goon's best line ever. James Bond is Saturday morning cartoons for adults. The Moore series of 007 movies underscores this, and to some degree, the script for this movie was written for a Bond character like that. By sheer power of the almighty dollar, Connery was brought back for his last official role as Bond, but the script really wasn't written with him in mind. As such, the film turned out to be something like more like something you would see in an episode of MadTV then anything that had come before it. For example, let's look at the characters. First we have Wint and Kidd, who represent the 1970's stereotype of a gay couple who happen to enjoy wetwork in the bedroom as much as they do as a profession. The writers go to great lengths to make sure that you are aware of their gayness (gaiety?), in case you weren't sure, with hand-holdin', perfume sprayin', and making jokes about women that don't really come off very well. Apparently in 1970, people were really unnerved by homosexuals, but in this era, they just come across as a couple of poofs.  "Would you kindly bend over and cough, Mr. Kidd?" Next up we have Tiffany Case, who starts out as an intelligent young lady, and proceeds to get dumber by the minute until she finally devolves into a loony tune character falling off a platform when she tries to fire a machine gun. It's as if they got cold feet half way through the script, and decided it would be funnier if she turned out to be a bimbo. Even the world's greatest criminal mind (criminologist in this case) is played for laughs by having him dress in drag. There isn't a single villain in this movie that is played straight. Finally, Bond. I don't really have a problem with Connery's performance here, but he definitely seems detached. Whether it is just the fact that he is doing it for the money, or whether he finds the script grossly disinteresting doesn't really matter. I'd still take this Connery over most (but not all) of Moore's performances. The real problem here is that you can't really take Bond seriously here as an assassin. He's really let himself go with a great set of love handles, and he just looks tired and grey most of the time. Maybe this is all as it should be. When you get to the scene where Bond is bragging about himself in the third person on the phone, one would think that the ego of Bond would eventually get to a state where he would lose some of his edge, and kind of look like the Bond you see here.  Blofeld found out the hard way what he should say when offered a "Chocolate Starfish" The movie is played for laughs with sexual innuendos running amok, and Bond rises to the occasion. In one occasion, hoodlums capture Bond as he is about to bed a women, and says "You've caught me with more than my hands up". It's the kind of joke that isn't delivered half-cocked, but is more "grade school" funny than anything else. However, the basic plot has an interesting twist to a tired formula, and it commands more attention than the average Bond story even if you see where it's going far before you get to the end. It really depends on your style of Bond. This leans far more towards the Moore side of scale than the Craig side of 007. If From Russia with Love is a Solera '51, then Diamonds are Forever is more like MGD. Yet, a fine wine doesn't really go well when you have a craving for pizza. Diamonds are Forever is comfort food, and you can't really hate it for being what it is.  What Pamela Grier was doing before "Jackie Brown" came out. The Good: Last look at Connery, interesting story idea. The Bad: A distracted 007 with some goofy plot elements (a moon rover, really?). Some jokes work better than others. The Ugly: The Fruity assassin couple cliches, of course. FINAL SCORE As a Bond Flick:   As a movie in general: The disgusting Trivia: The mud in the pre-credit sequence was made out of mashed potatoes that starting rotting on the set, stinking it up 
Yabanjin fucked around with this message at 17:22 on Dec 4, 2009 |
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Dec 4, 2009 12:09
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