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Soop
Jul 20, 2002

by Lowtax


Last night my parents came home from my dads work party. They were both mildy drunk.

I go downstairs to get a drink and slowly open my door. Below I hear

"poo poo"

<rapid sprinting of naked bodies accross hardwood floor>


Yes, my parents were loving in the lounge room. Luckily I didn't see anything.

I did cry myself to sleep that night.

I acknowledge that they do it, but really there is no reason to do it in the lounge room. Jesus loving christ.


Please share your stories of catching your parents in the act !

----------------<br><i>This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!</i><br>

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Ignoramus
Jun 14, 2001


Oh man. My dad had went on this week long fishing trip when I was a young boy of about 11 years old.

Anyway it was the day he got back. I was upstairs and I needed to get something from my parents room, dont remember what. I just walk right in, no knock or anything. All I saw was my moms naked legs way up in the air, there was giggling too. Although that stopped abruptly. I did a 180 as fast as I could and got out.

My dad gave me the most embarassing lecture I've ever had in my life 5 minutes later about how to knock. He was really mad at me too, which made me feel 10 times worse.


Another time, not my parents luckily, but friends of theirs. Our family was on vacation for 2 weeks at a cottage. They always invited friends of theirs up for a week. I've known them my whole life, really nice people. Anyways it must have been about 1:30 in the morning, and I think they had been doing a bit of drinking. I was up reading Belgarath the Sorcerer in my room adjacent to theirs. The walls, as they are in most cottages, were very thin. They consisted pretty much of that fake 1/2cm thick beaver panel. I started to hear this sound, the sound of a rusty old bed squeaking, you know the sound. And it goes on and on for about half a loving hour.

Ignoramus fucked around with this message at Dec 8, 2002 around 15:08

Skywise
May 20, 2001


Actually, I've caught them a bunch of times, but three in particular stand out.

1) We'd just moved back to the US from Germany, and my mom, my dad and I were sharing a hotel room... I was a bedroom away, but I heard..
*muted unfs*
Mom: "What about Jay?"
Dad: "He's asleep, don't worry about it."
Me: *weeps silently into pillow*

2) I walked in on them when I was REALLY young, like 7-8.
Mom: "!"
Dad: "Shut the goddamn door!"
Me: *runs to room, weeps silently into pillow*

3) 2 years ago. I had my girlfriend over, and we were hibbidying the jibbidy as the kids say. Then I hear my parents bed start to move above us (not bunkbeds, parents' bedroom was directly above me), and more muted unfos.
Girlfriend: "Oh, that's sweet! Your parents still have sex!"
Me: *stops having sex, weeps silently into pillow*

Man, I have such scars. Thanks for bringing it up!


Proud member of the Mosquito Dusting Car Club

Brit Studman
Jun 18, 2001
BANNED

But wait, parents don't have sex.

Alan Greenspan
Jun 17, 2001



My parents stopped trying to hide their sexuality when I was like 14 or 15. Maybe they never hid it and I just did not notice it when I was younger. When they thought I was in bed they wouldn't even shut the door to the room they were just having fun in and as my dad is quite loud I heard a lot of moaning. Somtimes I was close to get out of my bed and start yelling at them to shut the gently caress up because I wanted to sleep. I never did that though.
When I was 18 or 19 I went downstairs to talk to my parents and when I entered the living room I saw my mom kneeling in front of my dad with her head in his crotch. I stood in the door and they didn't see me. For a short moment I felt like commenting with something like "So, how does it taste, mom?" but I decided not to disturb them. I just made myself some food and proceeded to watch TV upstairs.

<KTX> Hey, I am 14/f/Canada I know this will sound weird but have you ever seen a pic of people doing it????

TICB
Dec 2, 2002
BANNED for being a FUCKING MORON

quote:

Rheingold came out of the closet to say:
"So, how does it taste, mom?"


I bet you've asked that quite a bit eh?

ErIog
Jul 11, 2001

I RAPED MY WAY TO N1 AND ALL I GOT WAS
A SHITTY SCORE,
A BAD CASE OF THE SPERGS,
AND THIS PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:

Ladies, do not let this goon simultaneously interpret for you.


marry me kapalama


quote:

Rheingold came out of the closet to say:
My parents stopped trying to hide their sexuality when I was like 14 or 15. Maybe they never hid it and I just did not notice it when I was younger. When they thought I was in bed they wouldn't even shut the door to the room they were just having fun in and as my dad is quite loud I heard a lot of moaning. Somtimes I was close to get out of my bed and start yelling at them to shut the gently caress up because I wanted to sleep. I never did that though.
When I was 18 or 19 I went downstairs to talk to my parents and when I entered the living room I saw my mom kneeling in front of my dad with her head in his crotch. I stood in the door and they didn't see me. For a short moment I felt like commenting with something like "So, how does it taste, mom?" but I decided not to disturb them. I just made myself some food and proceeded to watch TV upstairs.

Yeah that's bordering on child abuse sonny. If someone had called child protective services on them for that, there would surely have been some action. You also should have talked to them. Told them that they should not do it in the living room and close the god drat door, they were parents and should act as such.

pelle
Jun 7, 2001
yes I know I a mighty pirate..

quote:

Skywise came out of the closet to say:
Actually, I've caught them a bunch of times, but three in particular stand out.

1) We'd just moved back to the US from Germany, and my mom, my dad and I were sharing a hotel room... I was a bedroom away, but I heard..
*muted unfs*
Mom: "What about Jay?"
Dad: "He's asleep, don't worry about it."
Me: *weeps silently into pillow*

2) I walked in on them when I was REALLY young, like 7-8.
Mom: "!"
Dad: "Shut the goddamn door!"
Me: *runs to room, weeps silently into pillow*

3) 2 years ago. I had my girlfriend over, and we were hibbidying the jibbidy as the kids say. Then I hear my parents bed start to move above us (not bunkbeds, parents' bedroom was directly above me), and more muted unfos.
Girlfriend: "Oh, that's sweet! Your parents still have sex!"
Me: *stops having sex, weeps silently into pillow*

Man, I have such scars. Thanks for bringing it up!

it's Evolution Baby! (not gay)

love your sig and love the video...

Lankiveil
Feb 23, 2001

Forums Minimalist

My mother and stepfather don't make a habit of being quiet. And its not like I can knock on their door and tell them to quiet down, either.


[Halo-17]

aitrus
Nov 23, 2002
D'ni

quote:

ErIog came out of the closet to say:
Yeah that's bordering on child abuse sonny. If someone had called child protective services on them for that, there would surely have been some action. You also should have talked to them. Told them that they should not do it in the living room and close the god drat door, they were parents and should act as such.
Rheingold is german.

Enoch
May 22, 2001



You guys are exaggerating. Parentsex is completely different from normal sex. Instead of putting penis in vagina and bumping around, they lie in different beds and read books facing opposite directions until they fall asleep.

Zebadaiah
Jun 21, 2000



quote:

Rheingold came out of the closet to say:
My parents didn't mind if I saw/heard them have sex

Do you feel this has somehow changed you for worse? Your sexuality? I'm genuinely interested because there's so much stuff people judge horrible just by what they've always been taught without giving things a second thought.

Grand_High_Took
Jul 9, 2002

Lawyers like to look pretty, too.

quote:

ErIog came out of the closet to say:


Yeah that's bordering on child abuse sonny. If someone had called child protective services on them for that, there would surely have been some action. You also should have talked to them. Told them that they should not do it in the living room and close the god drat door, they were parents and should act as such.

Child abuse? Oh give me a break.
1)He was 18 or 19, dude. NOT A CHILD.
2)It's not like they were performing in front of him; they didn't expect him to be
there and he happened to see them doing something sexual - BFD.

People get way too worked up about sex.


Oh, and yes, once I walked in on my parents at about 6:30 in the morning. I was probably about 10 or 11, and I had knocked but they hadn't heard. I opened the door and I just see my dad appear to fly across the bed from his previous perch on top of mom (who was clothed(?!) in a nightgown, luckily). Mom stutters "we were just ... ah ... snuggling!" I stood somewhat paralyzed for about 3 seconds, and said "carry on!" then turned around and walked out.

We never spoke of it again, but I was drat proud of myself for coming up with the smartass comment. (Hey, I was 11 remember).

Pilsner
Nov 23, 2002



child abuse? ya know, the thing i hate most about people who actually do abuse kids or give them horrible upbringings, is all the hype they cause amongst the population.

Alan Greenspan
Jun 17, 2001



quote:

Zebadaiah came out of the closet to say:
Do you feel this has somehow changed you for worse? Your sexuality? I'm genuinely interested because there's so much stuff people judge horrible just by what they've always been taught without giving things a second thought.
I don't know. I am definitely very prude, at least to European standards. I don't like to talk about sexuality in general and I chose to shut up when people talk about it. That's just the talking part though, I generally live by the words "as long as it's consentual anything goes" when it comes to sexuality.
Consciously I don't know if the behaviour of my parents changed me. It's not like I've ever seen something I hadn't seen before. Softcore porn (anything without erected penises, labias and sperm) is available without age restriction here and I - like most others - started to check out the porn magazines at the supermarket when I was 12 or 13 years old.
The noise part also did not affect me in a "OMG how horrible, that's SEX" way. It disturbed my attempts to sleep in the same way a loudly played CD would have disturbed me.

<KTX> Hey, I am 14/f/Canada I know this will sound weird but have you ever seen a pic of people doing it????

ford prefect
Mar 16, 2001

by Fragmaster


only heard them once
my dad was giving my mom a right good lovin and she made her joy very vocal

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Mayor Wilkins
Nov 18, 2002

by Lowtax


About two years after my parents divorced I started taking karate lessons. A mere month into the lessons I got up late one night to get a glass of water...and I heard noises from the living room. I peeked around the corner and...yeah, my mom. loving my karate coach. On the goddamned couch. Both she and my father were mystified that I was suddenly giving karate up, that I refused to go back to class. To this day neither of them knows the reason.

I didn't say anything, though. I just went back to bed sans water.

And since I never caught her loving my dad - hell, they separated when I was five - I had to catch her loving other guys. The MARRIED guy she was seeing, he moved us here, abandoned us without a car or money or food, my mom didn't have a job...anyway, we'd just arrived and were staying in a hotel. Two beds, one room. I'm a very heavy sleeper, so they didn't wake me up. But I DID manage to wake up and turn over, sleepy-eyed, to face them. While the guy was in mid-thrust.

They both froze.

And I will never forget the look in that rear end in a top hat's eyes. Pure comedy gold.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

IndyPunkOne
Aug 5, 2002



a couple quick pictures would have helped validate this story for all...plus provided you with blackmail material.

Mangoat
Sep 28, 2001

by Lowtax


quote:

[Enoch Root] came out of the closet to say:
You guys are exaggerating. Parentsex is completely different from normal sex. Instead of putting penis in vagina and bumping around, they lie in different beds and read books facing opposite directions until they fall asleep.

And nine months later, *POP* there's your new baby brother.


Once, when I was about 12, I caught my mom with a guy that wasn't my dad. That sucked horribly.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Cousin Balki
Jan 31, 2002


I'm so glad these experiences aren't mine. The image of my parent's doing it would forever sear itself into my eyes and I would never have an erection ever again.

Kids in the Hall Fanboy
It's That Salty Bloody Ham!!

Mein Eyes!
Apr 15, 2002

arf bark woof

SHUT UP NOW

gaaaaarrrrrrrrhhttheimagesssssshhhrrhhhhh!!!

error1
Sep 29, 2001

BBC Computer 32K
BASIC
>_

I'm happy to say that i've never caught my parents having sex.

In fact, i've never even been AWARE of my parents having sex, even though my bedroom is right next to theirs.

They must both be really boring in bed.


Precious Roy
Jul 1, 2002



quote:

Brit Studman came out of the closet to say:
But wait, parents don't have sex.

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.

acro
Mar 15, 2002
Please don't breed, thank you.


After the birth of the last sibling, my mother got her uterus removed because of some crazy disease. That was when I was two.

elf pr0n
Oct 13, 2002

They fucking better have lemon cakes.


What kind of horrid images are you trying to bring to me at 11:30 in the morning?

gently caress imageshack

TheChaplain
Apr 22, 2002

God is just the start of your problems, neh?

quote:

pelle came out of the closet to say:
it's Evolution Baby! (not gay)
love your sig and love the video... :)
I've got a friend who borrows my tank helmet from time to time and she looks a hell of a lot like the girl in that video... so sexy. I've wanted to say that about that sig for a long time.[/hijack]
And no, I've never even heard my parents laying pipe. Thank god.

"As far as writers go I consider myself to be hands on, the kind of guy who would beat off just to get into the proper mood for an emotionless post-coitus scene."

Zebadaiah
Jun 21, 2000



quote:

acro came out of the closet to say:
After the birth of the last sibling, my mother got her uterus removed because of some crazy disease. That was when I was two.

How's that relevant?

FreshYaPepper
Nov 18, 2002

Fresh Ya Pepper Guv'na?

This is my favorite story to tell when my parents try to embarass me. It's a little gross, but the comedy makes up for it. i was about 3-4 years old, and was sleeping, when i heard a noise downstairs. my dad and i had been wrestling earlier that night, and i come downstairs to see my dad on top of my mon, pinning her down, and going to town. being three years old, i yell "ONE TWO THREE DADDY WINS!" at the top of my lungs. Mom screams, Dad just about jumpos through the loving ceiling. Somethimes when I come home now, and the door is locked (usually for the afforementioned reason), I come inside and say "MOM! GET HIM IN THE FIGURE 4!" or something like that. It's for reasons like that that that my mom puts rat poison in my food.
EDIT - One time, before I graduated, my mom let me have girls over, but she made it clear: NO SEX. One day, I'm about a millisecond from shooting the mother load, and I hear her car door shut. My girlfriend was like "GET OFF GET DRESSED!" but I just took a few more thrusts, done. Then we get dressed REALLY fast, mom comes up[ and opens the door. To this day, I don't know how I did it, but I had my khaki pants on COMPLETELY INSIDE OUT. And I even zippered and buttoned it. She just took one look, and said "oh my god". I got a stern lecture that night.

FreshYaPepper fucked around with this message at Dec 8, 2002 around 16:37

Mr. Pumroy
May 20, 2001

how've you been?...
that's good


This happened when I was 16. A friend and I spent the night at my old house, watching TV. The front room was adjecent to my dad's room, and we could hear some woman in there making short gasping sounds.

My friend said, "Dude, your dad's porkin' someone." It was kind of embarrasing. They must have heard the TV and tried to keep it quiet, but it was pretty obvious.

The next morning (we didn't sleep, because it was summer vacation and sleep was a weakness) we were in the computer room when dad asked us to close the door. We were like "WTF." But we closed it because we knew whoever was in bed with him was going to bolt. I knew dad had a girlfriend, but when I looked out the window, I could see that was most certainly not her.

Fun. But it wasn't the first time. The first time this happened I was 9. I know I talked about walking into my dad and my Boy Scout master's wife when they were together in the living room, so I won't repeat it here. It's kind of funny. Hahahahahaha.

Mom had her fair share of boyfriends. I met a few when I visited her, but thank God I never caught her in that kind of situation. I mean, one parent is enough, thank you.

You know, now that I think about it, I was exposed to a lot of wierd sex-related situations thanks to old dad and some of his friends. Geh. Horrifying. Shutting up and getting out of this thread now.

Mr. Pumroy fucked around with this message at Dec 8, 2002 around 16:38

acro
Mar 15, 2002
Please don't breed, thank you.


quote:

Zebadaiah came out of the closet to say:


How's that relevant?

They've never had sex while I had the ability to walk/catch/see them.

Dr. Grumbles
Nov 21, 2002


So this one time, me and my brother were at the movies, and after it was over, I called my parents to come pick me up(I was about 14, shut up.)

Mom: Yeah, what is it?
Me: Can you come pick us up?
Mom: Uh...(muffled swear)...yeah sure, give us an hour. (hangs up)
(It's a 20 minute drive)

So I wait, mom picks me up, I come home, and what do I see in the toilet closest to their bedroom? A condom, a condom wrapper, and JESUS CHRIST a lot of babyjuice.

Gah.

Skywise
May 20, 2001


quote:

TheChaplain came out of the closet to say:
I've got a friend who borrows my tank helmet from time to time and she looks a hell of a lot like the girl in that video... so sexy. I've wanted to say that about that sig for a long time.[/hijack]

If you have her wear it, I'll throw that in my sig.

Hell, if you have her wear it naked, I'll throw THAT in my sig.


Proud member of the Mosquito Dusting Car Club

Wompa164
Jul 19, 2001

Don't write ghouls.


Comedy 'Penis in mom's ear = Dance all night' option.

fishsuit
Nov 2, 2002

I know that one of us (I'm not saying who) has got rocks in her head.


I'm a horrible morning person, so my mom usually got my up in the morning for school. I wake up at about 9AM on a school day back in 6th grade, look over at the clock and realize that "poo poo... mom didn't get me up." So I get up, kinda pissed and run to my parents room to bitch her out. Swing the door open *BAM* they're having sex. I honestly think my brain has blocked part of this memory, because it's really fuzzy (no pun intended), but my dad rolls over super quickly and I just slam the door and run to the bathroom. I did my morning business in complete horrified shock, and walked to school.

When I got home that afternoon, my mom and my dad were in the living room watching TV. I just stood in the doorway and stared at them for about 2 straight minutes. My mom said that my dad had to talk to me about something, and she got up and left the room. My dad got up out of his chair, came over to me, put his arm on my shoulder. He looked down at me... and we proceeded to laugh hysterically for the next ten minutes.

harrybozack
Jun 6, 2002

Pibbily Bibbily Tibbily Pip.. Poooooooo!

quote:

Wompa164 came out of the closet to say:
Comedy 'Penis in mom's ear = Dance all night' option.

Comedy "Shhhhhhh" Option

Lord Kimbo
Oct 15, 2002

PO-TA-TOES

Comedy "Painful Childhood Divorce with Lots of Crying" Option

dojokm
Sep 20, 2001

SCOOTSMAGOO I AM GOING TO KILL YOUR FAGGOT FUCKING CAT


When I was little my parents would often go take "naps" for about 15 minutes-1/2 hour at random times.

TacoLobster
Apr 10, 2002

kippered, mashed, smashed, destroyed...completely geschtonkenflapped

quote:

acro came out of the closet to say:


They've never had sex while I had the ability to walk/catch/see them.

Um...I'm sure they probably have. It's not like the entrance to the vagina seals itself shut after the uterus is gone. Go earn yourself some anatomy.=P

TCC: If you see this sig, it means that for once I wasn't too hosed up to remember the checkbox.

LankyIndjun
Jul 11, 2002
There is nothing in this world more hapless, irresponsible, and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge. And I knew we'd be into that rotten stuff soon enough.

Lack of Uterus != Loss of Sexing Ability

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RPG543
Sep 20, 2002

Screw you guys... I'm goin' home.

quote:

error1 came out of the closet to say:
I'm happy to say that i've never caught my parents having sex.

In fact, i've never even been AWARE of my parents having sex, even though my bedroom is right next to theirs.

They must both be really boring in bed.

Yes.

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