Bitcoin: Of Freemasons, Free Markets and Bill Cosby Related Investment Schemes

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Bitcoin: Of Freemasons, Free Markets and Bill Cosby Related Investment Schemes

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

El-ahrairah posted:

I almost have 1 BTC. What should I do with it?

Sell it and use the proceeds to pay your power bill.

[EFB] drat this fast moving thread

# ¿ Jun 17, 2011 05:01

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 12:36

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Angela Christine posted:

I, for one, would enjoy buying bread and milk with Inter Stellar Kredits.

Or that other fake currency, the Icelandic kr�na :downsrim:

# ¿ Jun 19, 2011 04:13

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

fuctifino posted:

http://forum.bitcoin.org/index.php?topic=20250.0

Response to kevin's post from MtGox.

Just when you think this thread has given all it can it goes and out-does itself again.

# ¿ Jun 21, 2011 00:36

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Dame Cook posted:

I bet MagicalTux is regretting all the publicity he was doing to promote Bitcoin. Makes it so much harder to just quietly disappear with all the money, which would otherwise be his best bet right now.

Goddamnit, that was going to be my prediction. I think once he finds out how much legal representation is going to cost he'll just fold the site and keep all the Bitcoins in it's wallet.

# ¿ Jun 21, 2011 16:26

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

rotinaj posted:

So, I've stopped following the thread for like five days. I think the last big thing I saw was a shitload of hackers stealing people's buttcoins. What's happened since then? Is there a website chronicling the spectacular greasefire that is the failure of buttcoins?

We probably need a new OP that can be upated with all this info so that people can catch up quickly.

# ¿ Jun 22, 2011 07:59

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

El Goatherd posted:

Quick someone point out the UK population is 5 times smaller than the US and ask him to re-do the figures.

What, are you questioning the numbers he arbitrarily made up? Don't you want him to be able to feel good about poverty while doing absolutely nothing about it?

# ¿ Jun 22, 2011 17:08

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Monitor posted:

If he gets into an accident while chatting about bitcoins with Bruce I don't even know

This is the Internet in 2011. Goons posting on a message board about a chat about an Internet broadcast of a Skype feed of a cellphone recording of someone driving and talking about watching a video of a birth on Youtube. This is it, we're so far beyond the event horizon I can't even remember what this is even supposed to be about.

# ¿ Jun 22, 2011 19:21

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Pead posted:

I am SHOCKED to hear he believes in numismatic coins as a good investment. SHOCKED!

http://www.marketoracle.co.uk/Article25375.html

Next step: Hocking Goldline. Like Glen Beck but with less fake tears.

# ¿ Jun 22, 2011 20:36

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Devian666 posted:

I also checked the rate of bitcoin production. The difficulty value will change some time in the next 24 hours. Currently the production rate is double what it is supposed to be. Bitcoin production will end up halving in response.

Miners will probably only start stopping mining around $4-5 US per bitcoin. Another two weeks at this rate and the power cost will be around $8-10 per bitcoin.

Bitcoin mining could be outsourced to Mexico to take advantage of the USD to Peso exchange rate to try and remain profitable. That is assuming that power in Mexico is relatively cheaper. That or as someone suggested the bitcoin miners suddenly develop an interest in solar panels with an assumed hilarious lack of understanding of the initial costings and relative time to profitability.

# ¿ Jun 23, 2011 01:25

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Jalumibnkrayal posted:

...selling an ebook explaining buttcoins.

You magnificent bastard, I think you've hit on the only guaranteed way to make money. Self publish an e-book explaining why bitcoins are wonderful and hawk it everywhere. Sit back and wait for people to give you money.

It has the disadvantage that you need to put some work in up-front but once the book is created you no longer have to worry about declining hash ratios, power bills, brain damage or people stealing coins from your e-wallet.

gnarlyhotep posted:

The address (and phone) is on their contact page:

http://onlyonetv.com/?page_id=2

I lost track - was Andrew the milkman flying to New York to meet these guys or was it a coincidence?

# ¿ Jun 23, 2011 03:59

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Rudager posted:

All that goes through my head when I read that line is I'M GOING TO BE A PROBLEM CUSTOMER WHO BITCHES ABOUT EVERYTHING! and wouldn't even bother trying to apply for the job.

But you get paid in Bitcoins... who wouldn't want that job?

# ¿ Jun 23, 2011 05:26

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Patter Song posted:

The Yen Show
The Euro Show
The USD Show
The Loonie Show
The Mexican Peso Show
The Colombian Peso Show
The Australian Dollar Show
The New Zealand Dollar Show
The Baht Show
The Yuan Show
The Rouble Show
The Krona Show
The Iraqi Dinar Show
The South African Dollar Show

Bruce needs more Skype chats for human interest. I have an iPhone and a car, I could appear on his show!

# ¿ Jun 24, 2011 05:23

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Nibiru posted:

The argument is that they were the early adopters who helped get bitcoins off the ground, so they deserve it. It's brought up a lot on the forums, with the response being "I'll be rich and you won't, so gently caress off!"

Like all good scams it leverages the very human desire to get something for nothing. Nothing in this instance being work done by a computer calculating hashes. Arguments as to why the something is valueless and the nothing actually costs money in the real world are met with the full force of "NAH NAH NAH NOT LISTENING" by the bitcoin true believers.

# ¿ Jun 28, 2011 04:56

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Tumnus posted:

Actually that reminds me. Who the gently caress is buying bitcoins, like ever?

At this point telling people that they were fools to get sucked into this is unlikely to get a positive response. People simply don't want to hear that they've been duped. Fiscal predators are making off with money from willing marks with the promise that in the long run the coins they hold will increase in value. Bitcoins are touted as a sound investment when without economic acceptance or value creation they are actually a very risky junk commodity.

The bitcoin true believers would do themselves a service if they went around persuading people to exchange goods and services for bitcoins. For it to become a real currency they need to create a working economy where people can function independantly of the USD (or any other currency). Unfortunately the system is setup to counter this because of the automated creation of bitcoins which only dilutes the pool of available wealth. Bitcoin creation is rate-limited to make sure that it only happens at a steady rate but the fact that you keep the bitcoins that you create means that people aren't motivated to create real wealth by supplying goods / services, instead they are motivated to create more bitcoins so that they can have a bigger slice of the wealth that is theoretically being created by other people.

TLDR: There's no appreciable amount of goods manufacture or trading of services for bitcoins, people are just working on increasing the number of bitcoins in circulation. The long term problem with this should be self evident.

# ¿ Jun 28, 2011 05:18

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

ClosedBSD posted:

AyeYo posted:
A typical day in Atlas's life...

This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity
generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the U.S. Department of
Energy.

I then took a shower in the clean water provided by a municipal water
utility.

After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC-regulated channels to see
what the National Weather Service of the National Oceanographic and
Atmospheric Administration determined the weather was going to be like,
using satellites designed, built, and launched by the National Aeronautics
and Space Administration.

I watched this while eating my breakfast of U.S. Department of
Agriculture-inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined
as safe by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

At the appropriate time, as regulated by the U.S. Congress and kept
accurate by the National Institute of Standards and Technology and the
U.S. Naval Observatory, I get into my National Highway Traffic Safety
Administration-approved automobile and set out to work on the roads built
by the local, state, and federal Departments of Transportation, possibly
stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the
Environmental Protection Agency, using legal tender issued by the Federal
Reserve Bank.

On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the
U.S. Postal Service and drop the kids off at the public school.

After spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to
the workplace regulations imposed by the Department of Labor and the
Occupational Safety and Health Administration, enjoying another two meals
which again do not kill me because of the USDA, I drive my NHTSA car back
home on the DOT roads, to my house which has not burned down in my absence
because of the state and local building codes and Fire Marshal's
inspection, and which has not been plundered of all its valuables, thanks
to the local police department.

And then I log on to the internet -- which was developed by the Defense
Advanced Research Projects Administration -- and post on Freerepublic.com
and Fox News forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the
government can't do anything right.

That's pretty much the first entry in LIBERTARIANS.TXT

[Edit] Atlas is monetizing TF2 hats now? This thread is flailing around so wildly it's almost impossible to pick the next crazy tangent it's going to take.

# ¿ Jun 29, 2011 07:24

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Doc Hawkins posted:

Crom, I have never prayed to you before - I have no tongue for it - but grant me one thing this day: proof that Aaron Barr stole all the bitcoins!

_{With apologies to Robert E. Howard}
Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or even if we were victorious. All that matters is that we stood against many. That's what's important! Valor pleases you, Crom... so grant me one request. Grant me proof that Aaron Barr stole those bitcoins! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you!

# ¿ Jul 8, 2011 00:08

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

ManlyWeevil posted:

Even our buddy Atlas, who has apparently given up killing off his 17 year old persona, has gotten in on the Bitcoin comic scene. Making what I believe is a spectacular debut, I believe I see a successful career as a political cartoonist in his future.

What are the odds on more mini-crashes this weekend? I saw the market is already down a dollar from yesterday, might it break the $10 mark?

To be a read political cartoonist he needs to have DEBT in there somewhere.

# ¿ Jul 9, 2011 02:19

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Delthalaz posted:

Is there a bitcoin dating service? I'd love to see some more of these geniuses. Has anyone searched okcupid for "bitcoin"?

Go nuts

[Edit] First result is this sensible sounding chap: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/JBcobalt

quote:

What I�m doing with my life
I'm currently trying to recover and get back on my feet because I sold every bitcoin I owned in preparation for the rapture (which didn't happen, apparently.)

# ¿ Jul 9, 2011 13:29

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Lolie posted:

Why do these people not get that it wouldn't be simple for big companies like Blizzard to add BTC as a payment method?

http://forum.bitcoin.org/index.php?topic=27368.0

Jalum posted:

Why should they accept bitcoins? Aside from you just wanting them to, that is. Who is unable to pay them in a currency they accept but who would pay them in pretend internet coins? Do even five of those people exist?

SmokeAndMirrors posted:

In that case, why would anyone in the world accept bitcoins as a payment method ?

Time-cards are a hassle. If you don't have a credit card, it's pretty much your only option.

Stability means nothing when you're basing the price off of gametime cost/btc. Value of btc goes does -> price (in terms of BTC) goes up.

...

People used to laugh at the thought of human flight, look how that turned out.

Sarcasticly dismissing a real issue as trolling. I'm going to guess that the reason he can't get a credit card is that he's under age. I wonder how many bitcoin advocates are in the same boat.

[Edit]

Lolie posted:

Somehow I missed the Bitcoin banner ad thread the first time around. Enjoy.

http://forum.bitcoin.org/index.php?topic=26985.0

I'm so very tempted to purchase a couple of these for the SA banner ad rotation

# ¿ Jul 10, 2011 04:32

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Looks like someone thinks there's serious money to be made in running a reliable Bitcoin exchange

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/07/10/camp_bx_goes_live/

quote:

Cleaning up the Bitcoin act
Camp BX live with high-sec trading platform

By Richard Chirgwin � Get more from this author

Posted in Security, 10th July 2011 23:55 GMT

The story so far is that a little-known hacker hobby currency called Bitcoin suddenly came to the notice of the press, then to the notice of regulators, and finally to the notice of hackers. Believers are reluctant to moderate their hype; regulators and lawmakers want to either shut the whole thing down, or at least tax it; and hackers still see it as an attractive target.

Camp BX, a new exchange launched last week, hopes to address at least some of the problems. Could a combination of security and legitimacy solve Bitcoin�s problems? The Register spoke to Keyur Mithawala of Camp BX � and naturally enough, the conversation started around security.

�Although it looks like a hobby project, Mt Gox was already processing around US$324 million worth of Bitcoin transactions per year when you�re dealing with millions of Bitcoins, security has to be the core concern,� Mithawala said.

�I have worked for telecoms and finance companies, so I came at this from a corporate standpoint. You might not get a chance to rebuild if your security is compromised.�

Physical security is addressed by hosting the exchange in a secure data centre with three carrier connections.

The most-promoted aspect of platform security is the Camp BX association with McAfee, which runs �12,000 to 13,000 scripted tests� against the site each night, Mithawala said.

As well, the Bitcoin Conservancy in the UK conducts penetration tests against the platform, and Mithawala says that internally, the organization uses a peer-review mechanism to try and avoid all code vulnerabilities.

Bitcoin volatility

However, as recent events have illustrated, technical security isn�t the only challenge facing exchanges. The volatility of the currency itself is also a problem.

Mithawala says this price volatility illustrates a gap in Bitcoin�s design. �A core thing that�s missing in all the exchanges is that there is no functionality for short selling.�

While short-selling got a bad reputation in the global financial crisis, it�s still an important market mechanism, he believes, one which would help reduce the range of prices � and therefore the volatility � of Bitcoin prices.

�If someone believes Bicoin prices should be lower at a particular point in time, they should have that option.�

Bitcoin�s �one-sided� price pressure makes the currency vulnerable to �flash crashes�, he believes, leading to variations that can be as much as �hundreds of percentage points in a month.�

This volatility drives Bitcoin towards purely speculative exchanges, he told The Register. �If prices can stabilize, that�s when the Bitcoin economy will really take off.�

Liquidity is also a problem in the world of Bitcoin exchanges. If you�re unfamiliar with the scale of the �real� economy, US300 million or so in trades each year sounds like a lot; but as Mithawala points out, the world of foreign exchange deals in trillions.

Bitcoin�s small size � and consequent low liquidity � creates two problems. The first is that large trades can exceed the liquidity of the exchange, which creates the second problem, that an individual with large holdings can use large trades to manipulate prices.

�We believe we can stabilize prices if Camp BX is processing around 20 percent of total volume,� Mithawala said.
Compliance

There is a lot of uncertainty over the legality of Bitcoins in America, he said: money laundering laws, trading laws, and currency laws all impact on whether or not Bitcoins can be regarded as completely legal.

�We decided to do this project legally,� Mithawala said. To that end, he said, Camp BX consulted with a host of regulators, including the Department of Treasury and the Department of Banking and Finance, as well as state regulators.

�Our assessment is that Bitcoin can�t be banned outright � it would be like outlawing mathematics. If it can comply, then it can be legal. We don�t want Bitcoins to be underground and illegal.�

Mithawala says Camp BX will stay in touch with regulators about its operations.

Transparency is also important, Mithawala believes, and in a way this looks paradoxical, given that one of the attractions of Bitcoin is supposed to be anonymity.

However, users aren�t the same as exchanges. Mithawala said an exchange has to be transparent, visible and credible: it has to be backed by people you can name and phone numbers you can call.

�For example, Tradehill is the number two exchange right now. If you want to transact, then you put your money into a personal bank account in New Jersey.�

Not only does this look risky from outside, he said it arguably violates foreign exchange laws.

�We are offering clear processes of how we do the money transfer, who to contact, and we provide all the information that users will need to have confidence in us,� he told The Register.

[Edit] Bolded some bits so it doesn't look like a wall of text

# ¿ Jul 11, 2011 01:40

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

The Proc posted:

Oh, and just noticed somebody over at BTC Forums is freaking out because the biggest mining pool now has almost 50% of the total network power.

http://forum.bitcoin.org/index.php?topic=8653.180

Blitzboom posted:

Bitcoin was founded on the premise that in order to use it, you wouldn�t have to trust anyone. Right now, I have to trust the deepbit OP, Tycho, to not double spend.

I consider anyone mining on deepbit a criminal.

btcbaby posted:

I agree. What's the problem? Tycho is big and more than fair. The strength is through proxy. If he becomes a bad actor we leave. I think Tycho is protecting us from private money that could control everything if not for pools.

Invisible hand of the free market trumps your laughable trust issues :smug:

# ¿ Jul 11, 2011 05:47

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

mr. nazi posted:

What do you call the # button on your phone?

Octothorpe.

# ¿ Jul 12, 2011 01:20

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Rudager posted:

He's saying if government didn't force people to help other people through forcibly obtained taxes (that's where he gets his slavery line from), people would actually end up helping more out of only the kindness of his heart.

By this standard in 1991 Somalia must have become a Libertopia.

# ¿ Jul 12, 2011 05:58

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Delthalaz posted:

In one of the bitcoin.org threads (probably linked in this thread) someone brought up Somalia, and they were told that no, Somalia isn't an example of "no state" but rather an example of a "failed state." I'm not sure the distinction, but whatever it was obviously meant the world to the libertarians.

I suspect the difference is due to a type of cryptid popularly referred to as "Rational Actors", a race of straw men who are completely incapable of taking actions in opposition to the author's bias.

# ¿ Jul 12, 2011 07:20

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Pead posted:

That's true, but the gold that these sites sell is heavily overpriced because they say it comes as a "collectible" coin worth well above the weight value of the gold in them.

The world of numismatic scams, selling collectible coins with a massive mark-up to people who have no idea of the market value.

# ¿ Jul 13, 2011 02:23

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

JibbaJabbaJimmy posted:

If I understand his Tweetforum correctly, a news item is tweeted with a link to the Tweetforum with a copied AP article. Has anyone told him that he is stealing content?

Bet he'd lose his mind though if someone copied his idea. A little bit of trolling could result in a large pay-off of nerd rage.

# ¿ Jul 16, 2011 09:36

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Delthalaz posted:

The reason you can't go and buy penicillin whenever you feel that you need it is because if everyone did this it would gently caress up the world for everyone by creating super-bacteria.

But he's a rational actor who knows more about his requirements than some doctor! Why wouldn't you let him chose his own treatment?

# ¿ Jul 17, 2011 00:02

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

The-Mole posted:

I always thought Lord of the Flies was just libertarians on an island.

Lord of the Bitcoins.

# ¿ Jul 17, 2011 01:10

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

error posted:

I went to read that thread, and discovered that those same people think robbery and organized crime are GOOD ideas. Makes it a bit harder to take them seriously.

Lolie posted:

https://forum.bitcoin.org/index.php?topic=29775.msg376173#msg376173

Well that's certainly an interesting take on this thread.

Using my Lolbertarian <=> English dictionary I think he's talking about support in this forum for taxation and government. That or he's found our secret crime subforum.

# ¿ Jul 19, 2011 00:37

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

ChubbyEmoBabe posted:

There's a ton of "dumb money" out there. Set a strong magnet next to your moral compass and you can profit from it too!

GreatKesh posted:

Was what you were looking for?

I think that's worth a double face-palm

# ¿ Aug 1, 2011 00:08

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 12:36

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

mrwuss posted:

The majority of you guys in this thread are exactly as spergy about bitcoins as the people who love them.

You just hate them equally as much.

Love / Hate: Two sides of the same bitcoin

# ¿ Aug 3, 2011 23:55

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Bitcoin: Of Freemasons, Free Markets and Bill Cosby Related Investment Schemes