Dragon's Dogma: Grapple a Griffin, Slay a Cyclops, Climb a Cow, Pitch a Pig

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Dragon's Dogma: Grapple a Griffin, Slay a Cyclops, Climb a Cow, Pitch a Pig

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Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

That Mercedes sure is a oval office. Stole my pawn's name, confused me on these forums whenever you guys mention Mercedes and she has the superior voice actress! :argh:

# ¿ May 24, 2012 16:43

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# ¿ May 8, 2024 04:51

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

So. I met my first dragon when I'm doing the first quest for the wyrm hunt. The dragon is wrecking my party something fierce and I'm trying to run away, but I also have an impromptu quest called "Ambush" where all these goblins and hobgoblins are loving my poo poo up. Doesn't help that the dragon turns my pawns against me

No Mercedes! Don't attack me! I'm your friend.

# ¿ May 25, 2012 03:05

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

Don't you hate it when you think you've saved quite recently and when you mistime a counter attack and a bandit skewers you and you die then your save point is much farther than what you thought. Man, I was tearing poo poo up with underleveled goon pawns. Assassin/Ranger is the way to go.

# ¿ May 25, 2012 19:31

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

For Ranger Pawns, I find they perform better if they don't have daggers. It forces them to only use their bow skills; and that's a good thing.

# ¿ May 25, 2012 19:54

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

Dear God. This game. So I'm travelling at night right outside of Gran Soren and I decide to simply cross the river because it'll cut down on my travel time. Halfway through the river, the water goes waist high extinguishing my lantern and then I'm ambushed by lizardmen; complete with the quest title.

You have not experienced sheer terror of fighting in pure darkness with the only light you get is from the occasional magic spell. I think the only reason why I even survived that encounter was because I'm an assassin with all the night buffs. That fight lasted so long and it was honestly the first one where I had to chomp on my stamina regens because I needed to seriously keep moving and attacking. I had no idea if there was a rude dude behind ready to penetrate me with his spear.

:darksouls:

wait...

# ¿ May 26, 2012 00:02

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

Where pray tell is the Black Cat? I wanna forge items and give them to pawns who are super chatty

# ¿ May 26, 2012 01:26

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

Cheap Trick posted:

Quick shout-out to fellow goon Mercedes. Thanks for the Iron Shield and Cutlass - especially good timing because I was thinking of switching to Fighter.

Hope my pawn was of some use!

Edit: On second thought, I'll let Listy keep wearing the new gear. It's better than the old stuff.

You're welcome buddy! I like trying out new pawns from new peeps on my friend's list and your pawn was really low in level compared to me. So I decided to buy him stronger weapons so he can at least hurt poo poo between the times I had to help him up from the ground :p

He also rode a griffon like a champ.

For the idol quest Who should I give the golden Idol to if I'm an assassin and my pawn's a ranger?

Mercedes fucked around with this message at 19:18 on May 26, 2012

# ¿ May 26, 2012 19:05

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

Lotish posted:

It took a lot of time and money (mostly in the form of raiding the Quarry and sequence breaking the Water God's Altar), but we've got the full Berserk set. Desdemona (middle left) is rocking the Gryphic Victory because I haven't been able to find the materials to upgrade the Thousandlimbs. Guest starring Mercedes as a tramp and Scarlet as a jawa.

I'll have you know Mercedes ended her days as a trollop and is now a respectable awesomely dressed death machine. That means everyone should hire her. Gt is Church of Raven

# ¿ May 27, 2012 09:55

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

At the gently caress! I go through all the trouble buying poo poo and collecting poo poo that says the dude is innocent and still he's found guilty. Am I poo poo out of luck when it comes to the golden idol?

# ¿ May 27, 2012 19:32

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

Am I locked out of getting the golden idol now? Cause I really want a better long bow

# ¿ May 27, 2012 19:45

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

I made forgeries the whole shebang. gently caress this loving blows. Man would anyone be willing to gift me a better longbow? I can try to buy you something in return

# ¿ May 27, 2012 20:12

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

Hilarious. I just found a new longbow 5 minutes after bitching about needing a new one

# ¿ May 27, 2012 20:31

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

Duchess talk: has anyone let that bitch get choked out? Can you? What happens afterwards?

# ¿ May 28, 2012 05:59

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

You guys need to hire my pawn if you ever plan on taking anything big. Best Ranger you can get fo sho! GT Church of Raven!

# ¿ May 28, 2012 22:59

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

I've actually taken to travelling out with only my pawn. I just can't get the courage to kill her myself. She's so awesome. :3:

# ¿ May 29, 2012 01:39

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

I'm saddened by new game +. The lack of difficulty kind of turns me off the game. I don't really want to start a new new game just to get the difficulty back. Am I screwed? Do I have any other choice? Also Mercedes is now a dude. He looks baller.

# ¿ Jun 1, 2012 00:55

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

flymonkey posted:

Right, I felt pretty much the same way, which is why I decided to start a completely new game. Changed up my pawn and Arisen's appearance for the sake of variety, and it might just be a weird illusion but I could almost swear they run faster. Do small characters run faster?

Fuuuuuu- I really don't want to have to go through all the trouble of learning all my skills and buying all my sweet equipment. I hope they make ng+ like they did in Dark Souls. That poo poo was great.

# ¿ Jun 1, 2012 01:07

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

I tried to like the warrior vocation, but I feel absolutely gimped going from assassin to warrior. The charging overhead smash is bullshit cause everything moves out of the way or you get knocked down out of it.

# ¿ Jun 1, 2012 03:47

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

^^^^^^^ edit: Goddamit they dropped the ball on that one for real.

Policenaut posted:

You eventually get augments that make it so enemy attacks can't really knock you out of it, but all that charging stuff is good for is plowing down large enemies... which the Assassin can already do with Dire Gouge. As I see it, Warrior is a stepping stone to Assassin.

Assassin is such a good vocation.

Mercedes fucked around with this message at 04:23 on Jun 1, 2012

# ¿ Jun 1, 2012 04:15

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

Not to mention it does a poo poo ton of damage. I always carry that skills with me.

# ¿ Jun 1, 2012 05:29

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

McDragon posted:

Well, I thought Warrior was pretty fun, but I got to Rank 9 with it, so switched to Assassin. Holy poo poo the game just got even better. Shooting wizards in the face owns. Shooting Griffins in the face kicks rear end. Shooting wildlife in the face is hilarious. Everything I kill is full of arrows. Only Rank 3 so far, can't wait to see what ridiculous stuff I get next.

How does the Wyrmking Ring or whatever it's called work? I forged it for the quest and stuck the real one on my Sorcerer Pawn, is that all I need to do?

Oh, and with my main character as an assassin, should I just take around one type of weapon each? I'm carting a bow, shield, sword and daggers around, but should I just decide what I'm going to use and stick with it?

Dude, just wait until you get the assassin's "disembowelment" dagger ability. I honestly don't use the shield at all. I keep the bow on me for the best flexibility. And if I feel like I'm gonna get slammed something fierce by a warrior bandit, counter the attack and slit their throat.

# ¿ Jun 2, 2012 01:33

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

Tiggy Sawdust posted:

The hardest moment of this game has been killing my mind controlled warrior pawn for his own good. I'm so sorry Dragonbjorn! Forgive me!

My pawn is a Ranger. A real good one. I had no idea that she was possessed so it came as a shock when she OHKO my poor unsuspecting rear end with her strongest bow attack.

# ¿ Jun 12, 2012 07:51

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

My pawn saved my life. I thought I could take on a wyvern solo. Then she Great Gambled the fucker right in the heart.

So dreamy.

# ¿ Jun 13, 2012 01:09

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

Samurai Sanders posted:

What happens if you let the duchess get strangled? I'm thinking of trying it but not if it just cancels her quest line and nothing else.

I live happily ever after not having to see that clingy little bitch ever again. No one turns on me and causes me to take lashings. NO ONE!!!

# ¿ Jun 13, 2012 08:30

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

So everyone. You need to rent my pawn if you want a Ranger who actively kills golems, dragons, chimeras and chimichangas while at range. And with style. Mercedes has gone up in ranking a whole lot for good reason.

# ¿ Jun 15, 2012 16:45

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

coyo7e posted:

Bah, you want a badass ranger, pick up my pawn on xbox, gamertag cj coyo7e, pawn name is "le Chat Noir". He's very short, very fat, has quite the sweet mustache and gear, and he's a max rank ranger who's maxxed fighter, mage, and strider as well. Personality is set to Challenger/Utilitarian, iirc.

He also doesn't talk very often, because I'm pretty sure you've figured out which enemies are weak to fire by now.

Bitch please. My pawn from my gamertage church of raven is a career Ranger who has maxed everything except for warrior out. Mercedes is an angel of death swooping in and destroying anything that looks at her funny. She's a Utilitarian/Scather so you know she means business. Not like le Chat Noir, who sits on his rear end breathing heavily while eating fried chicken.

Vote Mercedes.

# ¿ Jun 15, 2012 19:54

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

DrNutt posted:

I'm sorry, the only Mercedes I know got her rear end handed to her by Julien.

I was Mercedes first! That bitch ain't got nothing on me, loving doppleganger! Dude, my eyes seriously went up and I was like :nyd:

"Oh hell no" when I met her in that garrison camp. I still get mildly confused when I hear people talking about "Mercedes said this, Mercedes did that." and I'm all thinking "No I didn't..."

Also, she has a stupid haircut. My pawn doesn't.

# ¿ Jun 15, 2012 20:12

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

I really, really, really want Capcom to release a REAL NG+ I want to fight those bandits tooth and nail like I did at level 15 but when I'm level 70. Also, I want my pawn to have a french accent like Mercedes and Julian.

# ¿ Jun 16, 2012 03:59

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

Bakalakadaka posted:

No those accents are the worst thing you monster.

I will fight you! Say those accents are terrible. I dare you. :argh:

You know what's weirdly fun? Ever since I'm all super strong enemies don't really present a challenge so when it's just my pawn and myself and there's a fight, I don't do anything. I stand there like a helpless escort and let her destroy poo poo. It's like pokemon!

vvvvv Bah, PSN.

Mercedes fucked around with this message at 05:08 on Jun 16, 2012

# ¿ Jun 16, 2012 04:33

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

Dusk is so drat pretty. Holy poo poo.

# ¿ Jun 16, 2012 05:16

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

likecnsnnts posted:

Mercedes, I tried to add you after all that wonderful advertising you did of your pawn last page, but your friends list is full.

edit: vvvvv She was probably on her way back to Gransys when post-game happened and said, "Merde that noise, I'm a lovely knight. I'm staying le home."

I cleaned up a little bit. Try again mang

# ¿ Jun 16, 2012 06:19

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

So my pawn showed her true badass colors last night.

Was at the Blue Moon tower hunting down that drat ring when we started fighting the mage boss.� He started to talk poo poo and as soon as he finished he first sentence Mercedes killed him with one great gamble.� I could have swore she said "Shut the gently caress up, putz" but I may have just imagined it.

Oh, how do you use the wyrmking ring for yourself?

# ¿ Jun 17, 2012 21:01

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

neetz posted:

Just keep it in your inventory.

I went to hire your pawn too but she was a Warrior, assuming I typed in the right tag.

Ah yea, I was about to kill the dragon again and I switch out her equipment so i can dragon forge her poo poo. She'll be a ranger soon enough.

# ¿ Jun 17, 2012 21:07

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

likecnsnnts posted:

So I finally hired Mercedes' Ranger, and I was confused at first, because she's not equipped with daggers. It took a moment to click before I realized that this means she's 100% reliant on her bow and will use that exclusively. And when I've already got a Fighter with Shield Summons, and me with backup daggers, I don't need a Ranger to do anything but bow stuff down.

I wish pawns could be hybrid classes (they probably can't be because complicated AI attack patterns for all the weapon combos) so I could play with this concept more. I don't think taking away a Fighter's shield will revolutionize their combat.

And that's why my pawn is the best Ranger in the game.

Here's some sweet battle screens.

Punkass bitch dragon charging at me while I was aiming at his heart because I forgot to bring the fucks I was about to give back at the cottage.

And right here is the dragon slaying shot that is going to turn his rear end to dust.

Lastly, this is the reason why Assassin is the best class. I counter an attack and everyone goes flying like little bitches.

# ¿ Jun 18, 2012 21:43

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

likecnsnnts posted:

Also she talks a lot

I think my game is bugged because no mater how often I tell her in the chair to shut the gently caress up she just yammers on.

# ¿ Jun 19, 2012 00:02

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

His healthbar barely moves even if I'm alone at night.

# ¿ Jun 20, 2012 19:19

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

Where is Fournavel in post game. Need to buy maker fingers

# ¿ Jun 22, 2012 00:26

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

Be still my beating heart. How long has hardcore mode been out and does it give an actual challenge again??

# ¿ Jan 22, 2013 06:47

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

Nahxela posted:

It's been out for maybe a month or two, and not really. It ups damage dealt by monsters, stamina consumption on your part, and probably HP/Defenses of monsters. The return is getting rear end tons of gold, but besides that, there's nothing notable. You can try it out if you'd like, it is free, after all~

Son of a bitch. All I wanted was a proper new game +

# ¿ Jan 22, 2013 14:54

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# ¿ May 8, 2024 04:51

Mercedes: Mar 7, 2006; "So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.

Rascyc posted:

Man, not once did I ever get annoyed by pawn chatter. But the goddamn blacksmith in Gran Soren just drove me to the brink of insanity since it triggers every. single. time. on that menu.

To be fair, they're masterworks all. You can't go wrong.

# ¿ Jan 25, 2013 23:00

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